Note- Though I don't write much angst, this story is angst so expect misery until they work things out.Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing. Its very hard to get my muse to write anything these days. My desire to write is still at 100 but my muse is at around 3, so its tough.

Symbiotic

Reid and Prentiss

Chapter Four

Would it ever stop being awkward to see Spencer? Emily wondered at Will LaMontange's birthday party.

JJ's house was filled with people but it didn't keep Emily and Reid from ending up near each other at odd moments: like when everyone gathered to sing Happy Birthday and when Emily went into the dining room to get another glass of wine.

She found herself watching him whenever he was near- especially his lips; the lips that had kissed her, that had said words that made her feel loved. Each time her thoughts wondered there again, she would drink another glass of wine fast to ease the burning in her chest.

Soon she was way past tipsy.

The alcohol helped to make things blurry but it didn't really help to ease the hurt. It just dulled it. But right about now dull was better than the sharp, intense, ache she had felt when she first saw Spencer tonight.

"Oh! Hey, Reid," she had said, when she walked into the kitchen and found him there.

"JJ asked me to get this cheese platter. Excuse me." He hurried away.

"Sure," she muttered, watching him go.

Yes, dull was much better, indeed, and so the wine kept flowing.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Spence, there you are!" JJ trilled out, finding him on the back deck, sitting alone in the dark. "Thank you for coming tonight. I know parties aren't your thing."

She sat on the edge of the wooden Adirondack chair he was sitting in. JJ asked "Another headache?"

"No, not tonight."

"Oh." A moment passed. "So Emily looks good tonight, doesn't she? All recovered. I love her new hair cut too. She looks good with short hair, doesn't she?"

"She cut her hair?"

"Five inches! Don't tell me you didn't notice that?"

He gave her a blank look. He had noticed but he liked messing with his friends sometimes.

JJ smiled softly at Reid and ruffled his hair. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"Leave me to sit out here in peace?"

"Not a chance, buster." She grabbed his arm and dragged him back inside. He did his best to try to enjoy himself but felt odd the whole evening, knowing Emily was so nearby.

He was glad when the party started to break up and he could say "I'm gonna head home, you guys."

Morgan clamped a hand on Reid's shoulder. "You know, kid, Prentiss could use a ride and since you haven't been drinking..."

A silence filled the air. Not sure what else to say Reid said "Um, all right."

A while later they were in the car and heading home. Emily told him "I really could have gotten a cab."

"Its fine."

In her drunken state she had been loudly proclaiming "I can get a cab!" in JJ's driveway in the most slurred voice he had ever heard come out of her, as Morgan all but forced her into Reid's car.

They rode in silence for a while, with Emily just staring at Reid, until she reached out, twirling her fingers in his hair. It didn't feel anything like when JJ had ruffled his hair earlier that evening.

Shivers raced down his spine at the feel of Emily playing with his hair.

"I like how you're growing it out again!" she chirped in her drunken, happy tone.

"Oh, yeah, um, I like what you've done with your hair too."

Self consciously she touched her hair. "Its too short. I don't know what I was thinking. Moment of weakness, I guess. God knows those get me in nothing but trouble. Ha! But you already know that, don't you, Spencer?"

He gripped the steering wheel tighter, ignoring her and wishing that the miles to her house would pass quickly.

She prodded him "Don't get mad. I was just teasing. Can't you take a joke?"

"Was that a joke? I didn't find it too funny."

"Really? I think the whole thing is harlirious. I actually can't stop laughing every time I think about how I really thought you'd be different than every other asshole I ever got with."

"You're drunk, Emily."

"God knows I need to be! My life sucks."

"Well who's fault is that?" he spat out before he could stop himself.

"Oh, thanks, Reid. Gee, thanks! I really need you reminding me how I screwed up my career, my health and US! Thanks! You rock for throwing that in my face and, oh by the way, thank you for ruining my buzz kill. I should have walked home."

"You can barely walk right now. For a woman your size-"

"Oh God, don't start."

"You could get alcohol poisoning with all you drank tonight. If you think that's smart then far be it from me to tell you anything. I know how you like to run your own life without turning to anyone."

"Just twist the knife a little more. Go ahead. I'm all healed so I can take a few more stabs now!"

That shut him up for the rest of the ride. He got out of the car to walk her up but she screamed at him "Don't bother! I got this. I'm good!"

But then she fell into his arms, after tripping on the curb. Emily landed with a soft thud. A rush of memories came back of that day when he waited at the hospital to hear if she would live or die. The warmth of her body against his was something he didn't want to let go right away.

Spencer buried his face against the crook of her neck. After a moment she wrapped her arms around him, grasping him with all her might. They stood there, holding each other, for a long moment.

"Come up," she mumbled against his shirt.

Even knowing how hard it was for a woman like Emily to break down and ask for anything...let alone something like this...Reid didn't feel like it would be right to sleep together under these circumstances. They weren't in a good place with each other right now and he wasn't sure if they ever would be again.

He moved back a little. "I'll walk you up."

Her head titled to the side and she gave him a look filled with hurt. For a long moment they stood there in silence before reached down, ripped off her heels and proceeded to head upstairs barefoot, with Reid silently following her.

She went into her apartment, closed and locked the door without saying another word to him. He leaned against the wall, feeling very tired and confused. Over the last several months, when his headaches plagued him, he had sometimes thought it was best that he wasn't dating Emily since he may have schizophrenia and this was she wouldn't have to be stuck with a sick boyfriend.

But the truth was that was just something he told himself to try and make himself feel like maybe things had worked out for the best after all. When in truth it hurt to have gotten so close to Emily before Doyle came around...to have gotten so close to love...to be so far away from it now.