Disclaimer & Author's Note see Chapter 1
Spoilers: Season 1: Caretaker Part 2
Beautiful Disaster
Chapter 2: Part 1 – More Heaven Than A Heart Could Hold
Their mission to find the Maquis was a success, but only partially. Thanks to the Caretaker, they found themselves in the Delta Quadrant, 75,000 light-years away from home, alone. They had to make their way home, there was no other place for them to go, but there, no other mission for them, no other purpose. They had integrated the Maquis crew into her own crew, to augment it, and to function as one Starfleet vessel. Things were going to be rough on their seventy-year journey; she could already see that. There would be tensions among all of the crewmembers until they learned to work together properly, and the stress of making their way home, of trying to find a shorter way. But for all the turmoil they had recently gone through, being flung across the galaxy, their introduction to the Kazon and some of the harsh realities of this region of space, her thoughts were not on her crew, the ship or their journey, but on one man in particular. Tom Paris. When she had promised herself that he wouldn't go back to the prison, this was not what she had in mind. She had given him a field commission and control of the helm. She had known he was an expert pilot, and he had proved it. She hoped the Maquis crewmembers could handle seeing the man they believed to be a traitor every day. She hoped that Chakotay being in charge of his safety was enough.
She abruptly stopped her thoughts. It was time to rest. She was exhausted, that was what her mind was telling her, and her body. It was time to put away thoughts of Tom Paris and the crew of Voyager. There was only so much she could cope with in a period of time. Which of course rebooted her brain with worry about how Tom was coping with not having friends and being surrounded by potentially hostile crewmembers. He'd made friends with the young and very impressionable Ensign Harry Kim, and of course he had her. But he needed more friends among the crew, or the journey home would be very long. She sighed softly. It was time for her to sleep. She needed to be well rested to deal with all the adjustments tomorrow would bring.
As she rose from her sofa, her door chime rang. She wasn't in the mood for visitors, but called for them to enter anyway. Tom stood in her doorway, clad in his pajamas. He poked his head in, but didn't actually enter until she waved him in.
"What can I do for you, Mr. Paris?" She asked with a concerned tone. Again she addressed him as 'Mister' instead of by his name. It stung a little, but he was determined to win her over.
"I was just looking for company. If I'm keeping you up, I'll go." He was hesitant to intrude on her private time.
"You're fine. Have a seat. I'll be back in just a moment. She disappeared into her bedroom for a moment before coming back. She had shed her uniform jacket, commbadge, pips and boots, as well as unpinned her hair. Tom was still standing where she left him. "What's up?"
"Bad dreams, the usual. I'm still getting used to hearing a ship when I'm trying to sleep." He answered, finally sitting. She was seeing the return of the fallen angel she had seen in Auckland.
"Nightmares?"
"Among other things. I keep expecting to wake up and see my prison walls again." She nodded.
"Do you want to talk about your dreams?"
"No. They'll stop eventually." He shrugged it off. She figured he'd been dealing with them for many years now.
"If they don't and you change your mind, I'm here, any time you need me, Tom." She paused for a moment. "Tell me something about yourself, Tom, something I wont find in any of your records." He looked startled at first by the change of subject and by the fact that she had finally called him by his name.
"My favorite color is green." He had blurted out the first thing to come to him and she knew it. She laughed, a bright, warm sound, and he couldn't help but smile as well. "I'm a sucker for Twentieth century technology like automobiles and TV." He added.
"I like Victorian era scenes myself."
"I've designed holoprograms. It's my favorite thing to do, other than flying."
"We'll have to test your skills." She smiled gently at him.
They chatted awhile longer before he excused himself to let her get some sleep. She contemplated him after he left. He was sweet and attentive to her needs. He was heaven in an earthly vessel, and he had already wormed his way into her heart. She wasn't sure if it was motherly compassion she felt, the care an older sister felt for a younger brother, or something more passionate, but it was there. She only hope her heart could handle him and what he seemed to be capable of making her feel.
