A/N: There are two things I would like to address first, one of them being that I'm sorry this chapter took so long. It's not extremely fluffy or lemon-y, but it needed to be written and therefore, it was a bitch. Also, I had to hand in my Master's dissertation yesterday and that took up a lot of time.

Secondly, someone commented upon the fact that I write this too British. I find this interesting because I am Dutch and so am flattered to hear this but am otherwise not changing anything. I know the words I know.

Then, olicity-smoak-queen asked me when this story was set and I actually thought to myself, that is a good question. The answer is as follows:

SPOILER ALERT (IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED SEASON 2 DON'T READ THIS)

Set after 2x19 ( Oliver has just lost his company to Isabel, Isabel is not yet injected with mirakuru, Sara is still with him, Diggle and Lyla are getting it on and Thea and Roy have broken up) in an ideal world version where after 2x18 Slade Wilson decided to stop the onslaught and leave the town for like a month or so. So there's a bit of a lapse in time before this story begins.

Storylines I'm not really taking into account: Roy's mirakuru phase. He's non-mirakuru here.

This means I need to go back in time and change chapter 3 because I referred to the mirakuru-hyped fight, I know. Sorry! =(

Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow or any of the characters.


Chapter Four

x

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

"But one without friends that keep calling, at least," Felicity snapped from behind her computer. She pressed the call away and threw her phone on her desk. She rapped her fingers on the desk and turned back to her computer. Only a few more hours and she would have completed the update for the whole Queen Consolidated system.

She started typing rapidly, barely looking up to check her codes. She glanced around the room as she typed. Everybody had left early, so she was on her own. To be honest, she thought the office was nicer this way. Not that she had anything against her coworkers. It was just quieter this way and easier for her to concentrate. She jumped when her phone rang again. Although she grumbled and glared at the thing, it refused to stop. Yanking it towards her, she pressed the device against her ear.

"I am not leaving," she snarled.

"Oh, come on! You've been in that hellhole every damn day from dusk till dawn! Something's wrong and I demand to know what."

"Nothing's wrong, I just have a busy workweek."

It was silent for a second, but Felicity barely realized. She had started typing again.

"You better start talking to me right this instant, Felicity Meghan Smoak," Norah whispered hotly.

"Oh, sorry, that's my boss walking in. Got to go," Felicity rushed, ending the call and putting the phone down again.

She shook her head at it. How to stop this onslaught of phone calls was beyond her. So far, none of her normal methods had worked on Norah. She had called her out on her bullshit every single time. Felicity exhaled slowly and looked at the keyboard in front of her.

Well, on the bright side, Norah knew Felicity well enough to know when something was wrong. On the other side, Norah knew Felicity well enough to know when something was wrong.

She heard the buzz of her phone again and cast a look at it. It was skidding across her desk slowly and angrily. She rolled her eyes at it and started rubbing her temples.

When the phone didn't stop after a few seconds, she sighed. There was no way around it, honestly. Norah had come to her home when something felt wrong to her, before. It was not like it would be past her to do it, now. Felicity rolled her eyes at the phone and answered it.

"Fine, I'll see you at mine in an hour," she snapped.

There was a beat of silence.

"I'll bring food."

The other side of the line went dead.

Barely a few minutes after she had finished dressing into comfortable clothes, there had been a knock on her front door. Felicity had opened the door to the hurricane of anger and worry that was Norah and immediately wished she hadn't. Norah had steered her towards the dining table, pushed her down on a chair, dumped her Italian food on the dining table and ran around the apartment to get the table ware sorted out. The most impressive thing about this was, however, that she had all done this without stopping her angry rant even once. Felicity had supposedly worried her sick, been irresponsible, should have at least contacted her mother or other friends, needed to talk about her feelings more, was in dire need of a new working environment but most of all she had to talk about what was wrong because Norah was not okay with this kind of behaviour any longer.

When Norah had to stop to breathe, Felicity raised her hands.

"Okay, okay. I get it," she answered.

Norah snapped her newly opened mouth shut gave Felicity a look with distrust written all over her face.

"So you'll tell me what's wrong?"

Felicity grabbed a fork as she rolled her eyes at her friend.

"Fine," she grumbled. Or as much as she could, anyway.

The tiny blonde blinked up at Norah when she did not reply. Norah was looking at her expectantly. Watching the pasta on the plate before her, she thought about what she could, should, and maybe had better not tell her friend.

It was clear to her now, after five days of radio silence with Oliver and nine to five workdays, that she could handle this situation a bit better than she was doing now. She needed advice and a new point of view on the situation. The problem was, she couldn't explain the complete gravity of the situation without telling Norah about the Arrow.

So how to she tell Norah without telling her?

"Felicity," Norah reminded her.

The intelligent blonde glanced at her friend's face. Genuine worry was etched onto it and it seemed as if there was a bit of anger swirling behind those eyes as well. Maybe anger towards her, or the person who had made her feel this way. Norah had always been a bit protective. Felicity looked at Norah's clenched fists. Okay, maybe more than a bit. It was nice to have someone worry about you, though. Felicity couldn't deny that.

She took a bite of pasta, arranging her thoughts and nodding at Norah to acknowledge her. Okay, so she had to talk. That meant she had to tell Norah more than what she knew about Oliver. As far as Norah was concerned, Felicity's life was easy. Her only connection to Oliver was her work. Diggle she knew from working for Oliver as an IT-girl. Right, right.

She swallowed her food and drank some water before she started.

"I've been a bit out of it," she began, but had to stop and glare because Norah coughed something that sounded suspiciously much like 'understatement'. "because I am in a bit of a situation with my boss."

Norah sat up.

"With which of the two?"

Felicity sighed and looked at her friend closely to gauge her next reaction.

"Oliver Queen."

Norah gaped at her while she was trying and quite obviously failing to grasp the information. Felicity took another bite of pasta, welcoming the excuse to not be able to talk for a few more minutes. Meanwhile, she thought about the story she would have to spin in a minute or so.

"What happened," Norah asked, finally.

See, being prepared paid off.

"He had a dinner with an important client and since I've become his personal assistant as of last week, I had to join them. Diggle was there too-"

"Diggle did this," Norah screeched with a loud, high-pitched voice.

"-No, no, nooo. He didn't do anything. So, we had the dinner but then it was pouring when we left and since my house was close they wanted to drop me off first but we had to talk about a ton of things so we sat in the car for ages and I asked them to come up instead. They did, and I went for a bottle of wine at one point and Oliver joined me in the kitchen to help choose," Felicity said, staring at the kitchen behind her best friend. She trailed off slowly, thinking about what happened in the kitchen, but was put back on track quickly by a well-aimed kick to the shin. Glaring at Norah, she continued. "-choose a wine. He started touching me and it kind of led to us kissing."

Norah threw her hands in the air in surprise, mouth wide open and a surprised sound escaping her.

"What! Why didn't you tell me sooner! We should be celebrating," she said enthusiastically. Then, when she saw her friend's face, she pulled her arms down abruptly. Her eyes became slits as she observed her friend, creases forming on her forehead. "Oh. Why aren't we celebrating? No tongue?"

Felicity made an exasperated noise and hit Norah's arm.

"That's not the point; he's with Sara!"

Norah shrugged and twisted her fork around in the light a bit, watching its reflection.

"Sara Lance? So what? He's with any or all available Lances at all times, how serious can it be?"

After that, she started eating again. Felicity regarded her friend with a scandalized look on her face. When she tried to reply to the comment, she came up blank. Norah looked up at her and rolled her eyes at Felicity.

"What? Shut up. If he was completely into her he'd never kiss you."

Felicity closed her mouth. She looked from Norah to the pasta and back at her. Her eyebrows were raised. Norah never used to be this opinionated on cheating and kissing taken men. To be completely honest, Norah had been quite the mistress herself, a few times.

Norah shrugged at Felicity's looks and tilted her head to the side.

"I learned this when I got married. It's either love or it isn't, baby," she said before getting back to eating again.

Felicity observed her friend as she ate the last of her pasta and thought about what Norah had said. It had been some time since she had looked at a situation from this much of a black and white viewpoint. Granted, she was known as a voice of reason within the Arrow team, but there were always factors to take into consideration and opinions to count in. Norah's opinion was very refreshing. But like with the team Arrow problems, it couldn't just stay black and white. Sometimes, it sucked to have a voice of reason.
Yes, Sara and Oliver were together, but they had been away from each other for a long time. After a few years of absence from each other's lives, everyone'd need some time to establish a relationship as strong as they had before. It was not as if their relationship could even be as strong as Norah thought it was. It was simply impossible within this time frame.

Plus, Felicity genuinely liked Sara. Kissing Oliver felt like betrayal to Felicity and that was not good. Understatement of the year. Felicity shook her head. She would have to apologize to Sara and hope for a resemblance of friendship after this. After all that had happened, Sara deserved that.

Felicity sighed. Next to Sara, there was the Oliver Queen and herself debacle on its own. Sure, she'd always had a small crush on the vigilante, but before all of this, it hadn't seemed possible for Oliver to even be remotely interested in her love life. Hell, it didn't even seem possible for her and Oliver to talk for more than five minutes about something unrelated to the Arrow. Well, without Diggle. With Diggle, that was always possible. Anyway, to get rid of that crush, she'd been hooking up with Mr. White Wine. Now that the crush was possible, that could change, too. Not that she would grieve for the man; she could still see him daily. But that was not the point: her tactic of getting rid of the crush had missed its target completely. Which resulted in the mess she was currently in. Felicity mused on about conversations her and Oliver had had recently and what exactly had changed when Norah interrupted her thoughts with a question.

"Has this stuff really gotten to you this much, Fay?"

Norah pointed at her untouched plate of food.

Felicity scrunched up her nose at the old nickname. It dated back to her days at MIT. The first few weeks, actually. She had gotten some popular friends in the beginning who insisted on giving her a nickname. Needless to say, she'd never really taken to the nickname and the friends had been dumped.

"Don't call me that."

"It gets you talking, babe. Explain to me why this is getting to you so much and I'll stop."

Felicity sighed in frustration and held her head in her hands, looking at her plate of pasta.

"It's because I know Sara. We really got to know each other at Verdant and she's, well. She's our kinda girl. I feel like I betrayed her. Also, I've put her and Oliver in a precarious situation and all because of my stupid crush."

Past her fingers, Felicity saw Norah reach out to pat her head. Norah shook her head as she did so.

"Yeah, I guess you should apologize to Sara. I would, if I were you," she said with a soft tone. "As for the rest, Felicity, be honest here. Who kissed who? Who got close to whom?"

Another frustrated sigh and a glare. Felicity refused to answer that. Norah rolled her eyes.

"Always the drama. Listen, it's not just your fault. Don't you think he's got some part in it? And Diggle, for letting it him get away with it," she added with a dark look at the picture of John and Felicity on the wall next to the table.

Felicity doubted the latter, but nodded anyway. Her friend was right, it wasn't just her fault. It wasn't as if Oliver couldn't think during that moment. They were both adults and could act like it. She felt remorse and guilt towards Sara and from Oliver's face when realization set in, she knew he did too.

When the blonde genius realized Norah was still staring at her, pressed for an answer, she acknowledged the words with a soft "yeah". When Norah seemed to accept that, she attacked her food. As she ate, she thought some more about her best friend's words and while there were some things they disagreed on, she knew that Norah was right about two things. One, Felicity could not take all the blame for this and two, she had to go to Sara to apologize. Whilst she thought about how to go about that, Norah had been chatting away and had grabbed a wine bottle. Felicity had let it happen under the pretense of not being able to stop Norah anyway. When she was offered a glass of red wine, however, Felicity took it happily. It might be a bad idea to drink the pain away, but she could at least numb it a bit.


Later, around the time the bottle of red wine had gotten warm, Felicity's lenses removed in favor of glasses and their favorite episode of Friends just finished, the doorbell rang. The tiniest bit tipsy, Felicity walked towards the buzzer and pressed the button to let the visitor in downstairs. She opened the door and walked towards the stairway, peering down to get a look at the intruder. She sighed in relief when she saw Diggle's trusted silhouette appear. Leaning over the bannister might not be a good idea in her condition, but she did so anyway. Diggle looked up by chance and saw her standing there. He smiled with genuine affection as he continued walking up the steps.

"If it isn't my sister from another mister," he joked.

Felicity smiled broadly at the sight of her good friend. John snorted at the lack of immediate reply and the sight before him. He'd seen her stone-cold sober, puking-away drunk and everything in-between, so he recognized her level of inebriation within seconds.

"I thought you didn't drink on weekdays," he teased as he reached her floor.

Turning towards him, the woman shrugged.

"I don't, brother from another mother," she answered. "Except for when Norah forces me."

Whilst shaking his head, Diggle put his arm around the blonde's waist and steered her away from the bannister.

"Norah's here?"

Felicity nodded and pulled him towards her apartment slowly.

"You better be prepared for a long lecture about brotherly responsibilities," she said seriously, pushing her finger against his chest. "She can be a force of nature if she wants to be."

Diggle laughed for a few seconds, then swallowed. Breathing in visibly, he nodded.

"I'm sure she is," he agreed. "I'm sure she is."

When they got inside, he shut the door behind them. Felicity went into the dining room ahead of him, announcing his arrival. He put away his coat and chucked off his shoes. He closed his eyes and braced himself. Then he went in.

The olive-skinned beauty was standing next to the couch Felicity was sitting on, waiting for him to appear around the corner.

"John Diggle, you dare set foot in a house I'm in after you allowed your surrogate sister to get hurt in this manner," Norah demanded, pointing from him to Felicity. "You better have a good reason to be here."

Diggle grimaced.

"To check up on her and talk?"

Norah glared at him for a few seconds, tight-lipped, before realizing it was actually a very brother like thing to do.

"That better be it," she snapped. "You have a lot of groveling to do before you're forgiven, John!"

"Really," Felicity quipped. "Funny, I never blamed him for anything."

With a grand gesture in her direction, Norah continued.

"Shut up, it's best friend business."

Felicity pulled Norah's arm to make her sit down on the couch next to her, rolling her eyes at her behaviour.

"You shut up. Sit down, Digg. Want red wine?"

As he walked further into the room, he noticed the cheese on a plate and the half-empty bottle of red wine. Shaking his head, he sat in the comfy chair next to the couch.

"Nah, I'm good." Felicity's best friend was still glaring at him from her position on the couch, but he tried to ignore her for the time being. Felicity minded her own business and started slicing the cheese. "So how've you been since I last saw you?"

When she had finished her slice of cheese, she answered him.

"I'm much the same as two days ago. Lots of work, drama drama. Still not coming to Verdant and haven't spoken to Oliver. You?"

He shook his head.

"Not much different, either. I see Norah finally got you to leave work?"

Felicity plucked at the armrest of the couch. Next to her, Norah was still glaring.

"Sort of. She forced me to tell her about how the boss of Verdant seduced me after our meeting with the hotshot lawyers."

His eyebrows shot up as he looked from Felicity to Norah.

"Did you include the part where I stayed behind and comforted you," he asked, giving Norah a pointed look. Norah's glare seemed to soften and Felicity shook her head at the couch. "Thought so."

With a loud humph, Norah moved on the couch and took her glass of wine from the table. She sipped the wine slowly before speaking.

"Anyway. Have you spoken to Mr. Queen, John?"

"Actually, I have," he replied. That made Felicity look up from the armrest. "We spoke yesterday- Sara and him have fought. Moving in together is off, apparently. He said he told her the truth, though. She came by the club not long after, to say she was leaving town for a few days to think. She doesn't seem to be as angry with you as she is with him, from what she told me."

What? Felicity sat up and leaned towards Diggle, unconsciously trying to hear more than she possibly could.

"So they broke up," Norah stated.

The man shook his head.

"No, Oliver said they had agreed to think about it. He still loves her and he wants to do right by her. It's hard on him, though. He's been beating himself up about it," he spoke.

The two members of team Arrow shared a look and Felicity knew instantly that that meant Oliver had been fighting. Without backup, most probably, if Diggle had only just found out. Frustration and worry surged through Felicity and she groaned.

"Typical. The one time I kiss the incredibly hot guy, he gets suicidal after. As if the comatose ex-flirt wasn't enough."

Norah snorted, not fully understanding the comment. Diggle tilted his head at the comment and looked at the window across the couch. Felicity followed his gaze and looked at the building across from hers. When John looked back at her, she gave him a questioning look. When Norah leaned forward to cut a slice of cheese for herself, John nodded at her. Felicity looked back at the building across hers. So John thought he was out there, watching them. Grabbing her glass of wine, she tipped it towards John and the window before taking a large gulp.

"It could have been worse," Norah suddenly stated. "Remember that time my cousin Dom tried to hit on you and then ran away from you when the lights in the club went on and you turned out to be white?"

Surprise flooded through her system and Felicity threw her hands in the air, turning to Norah. She glared at her, but the damage had been done. Diggle was laughing out loud, leaning back in his chair and throwing his whole body into it.

"You said you'd never tell!"

Norah shrugged.

"Too good not to tell."


By the time Norah and Diggle left, Felicity had sobered up again. The bolt on her front door had been slid in place after their departure and she started cleaning up soon after. Putting away the wine glasses in the dishwasher, her thoughts started to wander again. She remembered kissing Oliver right on this spot like it was yesterday. His big blue eyes close to hers, his warm hands touching her. She felt warm just thinking about the feeling of his lips against hers. The idea of being able to count all the small freckles, to feel his stubble on her cheeks as they kissed. The feeling of wanting more; the feeling of anticipation. She remembered it all too well. It had been a sensual moment, one that you don't come across often. To her it had been, at least. Maybe it was different to Oliver.

At least, that was what she had to gather from him staying with Sara, or at least thinking about the situation and not breaking up immediately.

She closed the dishwasher and looked at the kitchen counter. Right here, they had been standing right here, talking about Mr. White Wine and normal wine and he had been jealous and now here she was, alone. Closing her eyes, she bumped her head against the kitchen cabinet in front of her a few times. Maybe God is trying to tell me something.

The sound of her mobile phone ringing got her out of her reverie and when she found it, she saw it was Roy. She took the call, raised eyebrows and all.

"Roy?"

"Yo, Felicity! I was just thinking, with all this stuff going on, do you feel like coffee tomorrow? Get over it a bit?"

Felicity smiled at the dining table in front of her. It was weird, but considerate. Who knew Roy could be considerate. She thought about what Norah would do and nodded decisively. What? Norah would do it.

Realizing he couldn't hear her, she voiced her agreement.

"Nice. Where do we meet? Yours or mine?"

Looking around and scrutinizing her apartment, Felicity thought it was clean enough for more visitors. Besides, it was not as if any disarray had bothered Roy before. She walked towards the window to look outside at the cars passing.

"Mine, I guess. But we can- I mean, we can just have coffee here, nothing more. I just need a bit of company," she said. She needed to keep herself distracted. People visiting could be counted as a distraction, right?

"Will do," Roy answered. "See you around eight?"

"I-," Felicity said, stopping herself. She had seen something move on the roof across from her building. She leaned forward and squinted her eyes to see into the darkness. "Um, yeah. That's fine. Have to go though, see you then?"

The young man chuckled.

"Busy lady, aren't you? See you tomorrow," he said before ending the call.

Not that she had heard him. No, she was standing there, phone a bit away from her face, staring at the building across from hers. She could see it clearly now, a black silhouette against the chimney. She couldn't see more than that.

Her mouth was open a bit, her surprise not quite hidden. The fact that the figure was there, itself, didn't surprise her. The fact that she could see him, however, did. Oliver showing himself meant that either something was wrong or he wanted her to know he was watching over her. There was no way for her to know which of the two was true. Although he would have contacted her if he was in trouble, she thought.

Sighing, she pulled her hand away from the window and walked away from it. She sat down in a comfy chair, debating on what to do. If it were any other night, she would have called him. Joked about him being there, scold him and tell him it wasn't necessary to look after her. But it wasn't. Still, she felt like calling him all the same.

She searched for his name in her call directory and stopped her finger just before pressing the call button. Last minute doubt set in, but then she clicked her tongue. Ah, fuck it. There is nothing wrong with talking to a friend. She pressed the button.

When it started ringing, she walked towards the balcony door. She opened it and stepped outside, marveling at the nice temperature outside still. She had just started leaning against the balcony railing when Oliver answered.

"Hello?"

The sound of his voice shocked her and she did what she always did when in a difficult situation. She talked.

"Hi Oliver. Yo. Right, so I saw you sitting on the chimney across the road like some kind of Santa- obviously you're not Santa- okay wait," she said, stopping herself before that could even remotely go wrong. Breathing in and out slowly, she gained her breath. She gained control over her nerves and continued. "What I wanted to say was, are you okay? I can see you, which means you're either not okay or just making sure I know I'm safe."

The phone line was silent for a moment, before Oliver made a small sound that sounded like a smile. Felicity couldn't tell why, it was just that kind of sound.

"I'm fine. I was just resting."

"Right across my house."

Oliver chuckled.

"Right across your house," he agreed.

As if.

His voice was low and it made her shiver, but she mentally slapped herself for doing so. She had to be strong. Strong for herself, strong for Sara.

"Right, well, if you want to you could rest on the balcony. I could get you coffee. Maybe even a nice chat with the owner of the apartment. I hear she's good with computers."

The vigilante chuckled at that. She could practically imagine how he was sitting. His green hood still on, one leg straight in front of him and the other bent with an arm carelessly slung across it. He was probably doing that thing with his fingers that he always did, as if he was touching a quiver.

"She's alright," Oliver admitted. She could see his silhouette move away from the chimney, now. "I heard she hacked the Starling City Police Department network."

The blonde snorted and crossed her legs whilst standing against the railing. She could not see him anymore.

"Please, she's hacked several federal agencies higher up the list than the SCPD," she boasted. "All for good causes, of course."

"Of course," Oliver answered.

She was silent for a while. Oliver was running now and she could hear him panting slightly.

"I'll put on the coffee," she said. She pressed the red button on her phone.

She spun on her heels, going inside to make them some coffee. Every now and then, she glanced through the kitchen window to see if Oliver was on the balcony yet, but he was a no show as of yet. A large plaid was dragged towards and spread on the balcony to sit on. She put some pillows on it to create a wall between them, as a precaution. When she was done, she regarded her work proudly and went to check on the coffee. Still no Oliver, she gathered from her look through the window.
When she got to the balcony with a thermos and two cups, however, the hooded figure was sitting on one side of the plaid. She stopped herself short and kept herself from making a sound, but she dropped a mug. Oliver looked up and she bent over quickly to get the mug. When she walked outside, she glared at him.

"At least announce that you're here," she complained. "You scared me half to death!"

Oliver gave her a look.

"Would it have helped if I stood in front of the window and waved?"

Felicity pursed her lips and sat down on the plaid, on the other side of the wall of cushions.

"I might not have dropped the mug," she tried.

"Felicity," he said, calling her out on the blatant lie.

She stubbornly put the coffee mugs on the plaid and filled them. One of the two she handed to Oliver, making sure their hands did not touch. Oliver sipped his coffee and smiled. He moved around and sat against the wall, next to Felicity and the wall of cushions.

"So, has Digg been by often?"

The blonde nodded and looked inside her apartment. There was still some trash on the table that she had to get rid of.

"Yeah, you just missed him… but you probably knew that. Other than that, two other times."

"I didn't know you were that close," Oliver remarked.

The blonde shrugged.

In the silence that followed, Felicity thought about how her friendship with John had come to be. They had been talking beforehand, but the friendship had truly been established when Oliver had left them after the Undertaking. Their frantic search for Oliver combined with her anxiety attacks (an after effect of the Undertaking,) had gotten them closer. They had both slept in the foundry for a time, hoping to catch Oliver if he came in and when Diggle found out she had nightmares, he had helped her. Diggle had been there for her more times than she could count, then, in hundreds of ways. By the time they found Oliver, the bond had been formed. It had just happened. Diggle had become the big brother figure in her life and he had somewhat accepted her as his baby sister. Even Norah got to know Diggle. To be honest, Norah had known Diggle before the Undertaking, but she only really befriended him after. Felicity's other friends had heard of him through stories, but she figured John was not the type to take to her friends' places.

"We kind of bonded when you were gone after the Undertaking. He's kind of a brother to me, now. He'll come visit the house from time to time, I sometimes ring him to grab a bite; you know how it is."

Oliver's hood was pulled down and he smiled at Felicity before he drank some coffee. She watched his bow that was lying near his feet. She admired it for some time: it was a pretty one. She'd purchased the right one, after all.

"It's nice that you two have that. I wish Roy would fit in more with the team, as well," he said.

Felicity shrugged.

"Roy is kind of a loner. He seems to like being on the team, though," she said.

She held the cup of coffee in both her hands, warming herself up. Oliver looked at his mug of coffee.

"Yeah but he hasn't got a connection with any of us. Do you talk to him a lot? Meet up with him, like with Diggle?"

The cup of coffee was at her lips again before she realized she had pulled it up. As she swallowed a mouthful of coffee, she looked at the railing that surrounded her balcony. It was white and made of steel, but it had an art nouveau style, so it seemed very flowery. She thought about Oliver's question.

"No, very rarely," she said, looking away.

Oliver was looking at the silhouettes of the buildings around and leaned forward as he watched them. He nodded.

"Yeah, I thought so," Oliver admitted with a sad tone.

A relieved sigh, before she pushed up her glasses. Then, she realized what he had said. Smirking, she bumped her shoulder against his. He moved his mug around to make sure his coffee did not spill, which made her smirk even more.

"Is that disappointment I'm hearing? Do I sense worry about his well-being? Are you acting like a big brother, too?"

Oliver smiled.

"Maybe," he said. Then, he became curious. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

A shake of the head and a mumbled 'no' was his answer. Oliver was confused as to why she'd answered so softly, but saw that she was lost in thought and let her. It wasn't as if he had never shut her out because he was thinking.

Felicity swallowed her last gulp of coffee and grabbed one of the arrows from Oliver's quiver. It was a normal one. Holding it in the light, she absentmindedly touched the tip of it. She thought about her mother and what was supposed to be home. She loved her mother, she truly did. But she just could not think of the shabby apartment across the road from the bar her mother worked in, as home. Maybe if her dad was still there, maybe if she'd had brothers and sisters. Maybe then, she could have thought of it as home.
After her father left, however, her mother had had no desire to remarry or get any other kids. She gave up hope and so Felicity had sat in that house, alone, for so long that she had started to despise it. She had spent her days playing with her mother's computer, disassembling it and building it from scratch out of boredom. She sighed as she remembered that her mom was still in that old town and refused to move out.

"No?"

With another shake of her head, Felicity rid herself of the sentimental thoughts and put on a smile as she answered Oliver.

"Nah, its better this way. They'd only be constantly embarrassed by their big sister," she joked.

Oliver frowned at her comment and turned to her. She moved away a bit, regardless of the fact that there was a wall of cushions in-between them. Oliver was still frowning.

"No," he stated. "No, they wouldn't. Nobody feels embarrassed by you, Felicity. You're you from the get go, with everyone. People don't get embarrassed because they know what you're like from the beginning. They expect you to do unexpected things. That can mean they're surprised, but not at all that they're embarrassed. Sometimes they're amused, even."

She smiled. Maybe it was true. Maybe it wasn't. Not that she would ever know, because she would never have siblings. But she now at least had the knowledge that Oliver Queen thought she wasn't embarrassing, and that was good enough for now.

"Thank you," she whispered.

She turned around the arrow in her hands and touched the feathers at the end with her fingertips. Oliver shrugged.

"That's what friends are for," he said.

After he said that, there was a lull in the conversation. Felicity thought about her mother and how she should call her tomorrow. Oliver thought about his situation with Sara and how he could solve it. Unknowingly, both of them moved around and ended up sitting shoulder to shoulder, cushions beneath their elbows as they sat and thought about life. At some point, Felicity topped up their mugs again.

When Felicity was halfway through her coffee, she pushed her thoughts of siblings and parents aside for later. She looked at Oliver, who was staring at his phone now. It had a picture of Sara as background. Oh, nice. Felicity looked away, but not only because she was a bit hurt but also because she felt guilt towards these two people for hurting them and making them hurt each other. She knew that she was not the only one that was guilty, but she couldn't shake the feeling either way.

"Do you think you'll ever get back together," she mused suddenly. She clamped her hand over her mouth and shook her head. Wide-eyed, she looked at Oliver as he regarded her with surprise. She dropped her hand with the arrow to the ground next to her. "I did not say that out loud. Did I?"

Oliver looked amused, eyes twinkling while she was getting ready to go sit somewhere in a corner and never come back. When her embarrassment had gone, mostly, he looked at his phone background again.

"I'm not sure," he answered seriously, putting down his coffee mug. The IT-girl frowned when he looked sad. "She was really upset."

She nodded in understanding.

"I know I would be," she mused. She thought about his past personality and his personality now and how different they were. Sara had not seen Oliver for a long, long time, however. So how did she know Oliver had improved in this regard? How had she not been prepared this to happen? "There's one thing I don't understand. I mean, granted, you have changed for the better. But this must have happened before? You were not exactly known as Mr. Loyalty when you were still playboy extraordinaire."

The question was a blunt one, she knew. But Oliver had long ago proved to her that he could handle her bluntness, so she wasn't too worried. Oliver just shook his head at her question with another amused smile. Then, he looked at the arrow on the floor and seemed to think about her question.

"I think she knows I've changed. I am not the same flirty guy and I don't sleep with everybody. Me doing this and telling her is something she's never been confronted with before and so she knows she needs to take it seriously. As do I. So, we decided to take a small break and think," he answered. When he finished, he looked straight ahead. He clenched his jaw when he finished and Felicity felt sad.

She looked at her coffee mug as she thought of how she should reply to that.

"It seems like a big step, from a normal relationship point of view. Are you not afraid of losing her?"

It was pure masochism, she thought. Why was she still talking about this subject? She should have dropped it at least three questions ago. But she couldn't, because she cared.

"Very. The fact that her moving in with me is not going to happen soon, alone, makes me scared, but losing her completely, that terrifies me," he answered in all honesty.

That hurt. No, that really hurt.

"I guess that is how it is when you're together," she answered.

She was proud of her neutral answer.

"No, Felicity, I don't mean- with losing her I meant the fact that I have had Sara in my life for over six years, now. I don't know any better. I mean, I couldn't handle not talking to her anymore. She is one of my best friends."

The fact that Oliver worried more about losing Sara as a friend than as a lover did not go unnoticed, but Felicity kept quiet. Nodding and sighing, she pulled a cushion into her lap and hugged it to her body.

"I can imagine," she answered. "I mean, not that I can imagine because the only best friend I have is Norah and I can't very well be with her. Well, I could, but then she has a husband so that's not really a nice thing to do. Although we did sort of the same thing-"

She shut her mouth with a snap and turned to Oliver with frightful eyes. He was frowning and giving her a look and she felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. Irritated that she could not say or do anything right anymore, she fell back against the wall behind her. With a groan, she hit her head against the wall behind her repeatedly.

"Why did we have to kiss," she groaned. "It ruined everything."

She brought up her legs towards her torso and put the pillow on top of them. It felt soft under her chin when she leaned on it while staring forward. Holding her warm mug in front of her with two hands, she clenched her jaw as she thought about what she had wrecked with just kissing the man. Her friendship with Sara, their relationship, the dynamic in team Arrow, the dynamic between her and Oliver; there was so much that had changed and that could have still been normal.

But no, they had had to go and ruin it all. All because of what? Some sort of attraction that she was trying to calm down with frequent visits to Mr. White Wine? And that was a whole other thing: why was she even still meeting up with him?! What kind of half attempt was that?
She should have tried more in the dating area, before she got to him. Then again, she simply didn't have time to date. It was also a bit pointless because she had a big target on her back due to her nightly activities. What was the point of dating if she would only put the other in danger? What was the point of dating if there never was to be a relationship anyway? But then one thing led to another with Mr. White Wine and Norah had suggested ringing him to get rid of her dry spell after that and that was that. The downward spiral had started. Felicity groaned. She buried her face in the pillow, taking care not to break her glasses as she thought about how she had failed herself and her love life with seeing Mr. White Wine, but also with her actions with Oliver. There had never been much of a chance, but if there had ever been a chance, it was gone now.

A hand touched her shoulder when she groaned again, which made her look to her left. Oliver was watching her, a complicated mix of emotions. She could see sadness, regret and also something else she could not quite put her finger on, swirling underneath the surface. Oliver's thumb started making soothing circles on her shoulder. Leaning down a bit until his head was at the same level as hers, Oliver looked her in the eyes.

"Hey, I don't regret that, okay?" She frowned. He made a frustrated sound in the back of his throat and looked in front of him. As he ducked his head down, he continued talking. "I don't regret kissing you. What happened, happened because we wanted it to in that moment. It's just that it happened at the wrong time and place."

She looked at him in surprise as he stared in the distance. He hadn't kept track of his stubble lately and was slowly growing a beard, she noticed. Maybe he was letting go a bit while Sara was gone. He seemed far away, like he was thinking about so many things at once that he could barely keep track of them. Maybe he was thinking about what he had just told her and what it could mean.

Not that telling her that would make any difference in the grand scheme of things. She cocked her head to look at her hands in front of her knees and fiddled with them. All this speculation would not make any difference, she realized. He would stay with Sara all the same and she would have to let go of him, leave team Arrow and be on her own again. She would have to get back to her boring life with Norah and all her other friends instead of the adventure she was now used to. Most of all, however, it would mean Oliver would leave her to fend for herself and she would be without him. All alone.

Oliver moved his head and chanced a look at her. She caught it and her gaze softened as she noticed he had pursed lips and a rigid posture, as if he was tense after telling her that.

"Me too," she assured him with a wry smile on her face. "It felt right to me."


Oliver groaned and swung his head around, his eyes meeting hers once again. He observed her as she sat there, curled up with her head on the pillow on her knees. Her blonde hair had been pulled back in a ponytail. He wished she'd wear it down more. It was not practical, but he loved how it looked. He gazed at her as she readjusted her glasses, thinking about all the things she was to him. A rock, a light, a constant incentive to evaluate the situation. Most of all, she was someone who truly, genuinely cared. Without knowing him because of his money, without all the happy-go-lucky acting he had to do to be Oliver Queen, son of the Queen family.
And she looked sad. Sad because of what happened and sad because she was hurt by him. Sad because of what would come after this, possibly. She probably did not realize he could not leave her alone, even after this. He would have to keep her close, look after her. Sara would understand, but lay down some restrictions, probably. Still, he vowed to himself that she would never look this sad because of him ever again, when this was all over.

Intent on telling her, he reached out and removed her glasses. His hand moved back up to cup her face and he pressed his forehead against hers, knowing it was not a smart move but more worried about getting his point across.

"Don't worry, it's okay. I care about you, I'm not going to walk away suddenly," he whispered. "I just need to do right by Sara. After all this time, she deserves a well-considered decision."

Felicity looked deep into his eyes and he tried to portray all the emotion he felt in his eyes, because he could not possibly convey everything he felt. Next to that, he couldn't because he was worried about the position it would put Felicity in. After deciding never to make her look sad again, hurting her seemed like a bad way to go.

He pressed their faces together, his other hand coming up to caress her hair. He made sure not to kiss her in the process. It was hard, but he didn't want to cheat on Sara more than he had already done. She didn't deserve that. Neither did Felicity.

A wavering sigh came from the blonde in front of him and he made soothing noises.

"I understand," Felicity replied. "Just don't leave me all alone, okay? Whatever happens."

He nodded slowly.

"Whatever happens," he promised.

Pulling his head and hands back, he watched her as she opened her eyes slowly. He immediately missed the feeling of her skin beneath his fingertips and the feel of her nose against his. He missed being able to look into her stormy gray eyes from up close and feeling her breath fan out across his face. But he had to leave before this could get out of hand. Pushing the cushion on the floor, however, Felicity stood up before he could and sorted her clothing. When she was done, she turned to Oliver. Apparently, she had come to the same conclusion.
By the looks of it, though, she was not happy about it. The corners of her mouth were down and she had crossed her arms. She looked him in the eye as she told him to leave.

"Right. Time for you to go. Contact me when you guys have made a decision, okay?"

"What will you be doing in the meantime?"

She frowned and looked away.

"Working at Queen Consolidated. IT-girl stuff."

She looked so forlorn, so sad, when she said it that he couldn't help it. He stepped towards her, threw his arms around her for a few seconds and then let go again. The move had surprised Felicity, so she had no time to reciprocate.

"I'll see you soon," he said as he moved away from her, looking into her eyes deeply one more time before turning around and running towards the fire escape at the end of the balcony.

As he ran down the stairs, he could only think about how close a call that had been after his promise. A few seconds of touching longer and he would have kissed her again. Which would not have been fair towards Sara or Felicity.

When he got downstairs, he looked up at her balcony while he walked away.

He wondered at what point it would be acceptable to admit he was in love with another, or if social restrictions would force him to let go of her. Because he was not exactly sure he could do the latter anymore.


A/N:

Before I upload the next chapter can I please rave about the finale because sweet mother of freya was that one HELL of a piece of television! That Olicity bit near-killed me! My flatmate ran in asking where the fire was, since I was just so distraught about the series (headphones in and all). Obviously I was sad they hadn't gone through with the Olicity, but then again, I am proud at what we accomplished. There aren't a lot of shows that are based on a comic book where they leave in a character because of, well, the director of CW but also because of fans! And then now they're going with our ship as well!

I say, guys: if you see your ship, swim out to meet it!

Now go and review!