Hi guys I think I will be updating a lot this 2 days because I will have visits at home so I won't have time to write the one chapter per day like always and also I have to advance on my novel and study and omg there's a lot of stuff to do, but I love to write so I think I can make it. =) 3 Anyways I still hope you enjoy the chapter it is very philosophical so I hope you're not disappointed at it. Take care. =) Hugs Enjoy! =)

Soul Society

I was at the mansion, all the demons under Hirato's service were up and down the stairs, packing everything I'll need for my next journey. I sat on a sofa facing one of the french windows looking at the snow fall. When will it stop falling? I am tired of looking at it. Sigh. "It will soon be spring." Hirato says coming from behind. Right now, I can't just stand him, I close my eyes at the sound of his voice feeling pain throb in my heart. "What's the point of it" . "I am sorry Master?" he asked and I noticed I said something I was thinking out loud. "What is the point, every winter they die and then every spring they revive and come back to life." I tell him

"Well then Master, it seems we are getting a little philosophical here." Sigh, his words sometimes can be descouraging, "You know what I am referring to Hirato. It's serious." I feel exasperated at his lack of seriousness. He comes back with the tea tray, serves tea and hands it to me. I take a sip and give the cup back to him. He pinches my cheek and ruffles my head as I have it languidly resting on the arm rest of it. "Everyone's carnal remains, they just decompose, then goes through the whole life cycle until one day the become human again and suddenly are back with the same traits as before except for the personality. But everything they do in this life is useless."

The sunset is beautiful I can see that now. When I lived at the castle I always did what I thought was good and I thought it was my right to have more than others. Then after that I was given the oportunity to be with God but I was not the place for me, I was free lived live as I felt it was best for me and when I got tired of it all I decided to commit suicide. Ironically I was saved by a demon who in exchange offered everything to me under the guidelines of a contract. I meet Gareki again who under my selfish love he was seduced by Hirato to death and perished. Finally there was Gareth who almost lives up to the same fate as Gareki if it wasn't for a spark that made light into my mand. What does this ultimate truth matters to me when all I've caused is misery to all the people I've truly loved.

"Isn't our life insignificant Hirato?" I ask him. "Tell me about it. I don't even understand why God loves you so much humans." he says and murmurs "Useless creatures" I won't retort to that, he's right, we are petty and insignificant creatures. We die easily, live the same life over and over again. Boy demons maybe have a much more meaningful life than us. I can't say much about angels they are strange creature, only living for the greater good I can't stand that unquestioning existence of them where everything orbits around love. There's more to it for me their whiteness is empty. On the other hand the black is so full of creative power. Creative destruction.

I feel sleepy, it's dark outside and the house is silent. "Master it's time to leave." Hirato whispered in my ear. I make an effort to straighten myself. I stand up. "As soon as possible" yawn. I follow him, suddenly I notice we are upstairs. "Hirato I don't feel like being involved in another of your schemes for the mean time I-" he cut me in half of the sentence. "Relax here's your pajamas, it's better if you travel comfortable. You might want to sleep through the trip." he says. I think maybe I am a bit defensive, well very but after all he has done who wouldn't. I take off the pajamas he put at the side of the bed, it's cold outside, I hope it gets warmer soon, I want spring in me and my heart, what must I do to bring it in me and have it born once again.

he wishes that humans could live in a free and perfect world,

I leave the room and go downstairs, Hirato is waiting for me with a blanket, we get inside the carriage, I wrap myself in more blankets inside. "Do you ever get cold?" I ask Hirato. "I am cold" he says giving me a playful smile. "I don't know much about angels." I say Hirato doesn't pay attention to me. "What I mean, is, do you know how they live?" It seems I have to be direct about this subject. "Angels, you say, they are beings full of love for God above anything, whatever he says it is for them. Because everything is justified for them if it's for the love of God, even if to our common sense it's madness." He says. "So in the end, they are not free." I tell him. "Yes, they are not free, they are programmed to feel joy with their supposed sacrifice of humanity, but if you feel joy for it, then it's not much of a sacrifice, what is there to lose when you're empty." Usually Hirato doesn't say this much. "So my idea of a perfect world of harmony, with humans, is not possible."

"Possible, it is, just that sometimes the scale weights more on one side than the other" He moves from his side of the carriage to mine, and motions me so my head can rest on his lap. "What about my condemnation?" I ask him between yawns. My eyes are sleepy. "That is for another ocassion Master. For now rest yourselft assured in me and let me guide you to your dreams and path" his voice is so soothing. I could forget about everything he has done. "A dream world where everyone's happy is not possible then?" I feel my voice is getting lower. "Not certain about it."

"How not you're a demon, you've lived long, you must know a lot." Perhaps if I push him a little he may say more. I feel his hand carresing my head. "Ah, Nai, Maybe hopefully one day we will all be able to live happy, doing consciously what we want." he says, as if remembering a distant memory. "I hope that the things I have done don't become an obstacle to reach the ultimate truth" these were my last words for Hirato that night.

I start falling asleep and I can almost feel all the good moments I had with Gareki, I had good intentions I never wanted him to die. But then, again, they say, hell is full of people with good intentions.

Ok guys! hope you enjoyed the chapter! =) take care lots of hugs and kisses! hope you also leave a review and well if you have any suggestions you can always write me and I will add it. =)