Fourth Chapter

A happy ending of course, depends on where you stop the story

He was here.

Edward was back.

The second his eyes gazed into mine, I was lost. The time stopped, and I felt like all of the blood ran out of my body. My hands and feet started to get incredibly cold.

I wanted to so many things.

Shout at him. What is he doing here? How dare him come back after all he did. After he broke my heart. I felt the urge to get up from this bench and slap him. I would probably just break my hand, but I could try.

But I couldn't do it. I just kept sitting on the bench, admiring him.

Because seeing his pitch black eyes stare into mine, I felt it all coming back. I still loved him. I loved him, like he never left. Like he never hurt me. Because that's all it takes: one look, and I fall for him. Over and over again.

I remained silent, and he didn't say anything either, but his growling stopped. His back slowly straightened and his whole body turned into my direction. From the way he looked at me, I could easily fool myself, and say that he missed me. The way he looked at me… like someone, who saw the sun for the first time in his life.

I took a shaky breath. I tried to open my mouth and say something, but no words came out. I just sat there with my racing heart. I broke the contact and looked down.

"Please don't look away" he said quietly, but urgently. I couldn't bring myself to raise my head now. My eyes were filled with tears by now. His voice was like the softest silk touching your soul. Now, I knew for sure: I'm not hallucinating this. I couldn't imagine this voice, I'm not that creative.

The feelings, that were going through me were indescribable. I fought the tears and looked up.

"Edward" I breathed his beautiful name, staring at his perfect face. I didn't realize how close he was. He was on his knees bending in front of me now.

He was just about to say something, but I didn't let him. If I felt like I sobered up before, it was certainly gone now. Sober Bella would never do what I did, but apparently drunk Bella is more confident. I felt weak, but in the same time I felt stronger than ever before. I couldn't let him go again. Not yet.

I closed the distance between us quickly, and pressed my lips to his. I didn't want to think about how he is going to react or what's going to happen next, not even what he said to me back in the woods in September.

I kissed him passionately, and it was the most wonderful feeling. His lips tasted like honey, and I never wanted to stop.

And then, he moaned loudly into my mouth and started kissing back. It was nothing like our chaste kisses back then. This was wild and full of fire. The flames burned me, but I didn't care anymore.

Edward seemed just as hungry for this kiss as I was. He reached behind me, pulled me off the bench and I landed sitting on his thighs. He ran his fingers through my hair, holding me as close as possible.

But every dream has to end once, right? I was starting to run out of oxygen and Edward must have felt it, because he pulled away, but didn't push me away from him. He placed soft little kisses to my cheeks, my nose, my forehead and my hair while I was heaving.

His hands softly caressed the back of my head, when we both heard a loud noise from the ground next to us.

"What the fuuuck, ouch." Joshua groaned on the ground, his eyes still closed. His hand was touching his bleeding nose.

In the middle of everything, I completely forgot about him and now I felt a little embarrassed. He was there the whole time we kissed, and I didn't even notice him.

Edward arched his perfectly shaped eyebrow, eyeing the boy on the ground, almost looking pleased, and then he turned his attention back to me.

"We have to get out of here" He whispered hurriedly, but it sounded like a question. Like he wasn't quite certain, if I would go with him or not.

I nodded, and got on my feet quite ungracefully. Edward still didn't let go of me, and I had a feeling that if he did, I would have fallen. My balance never was the best, and that combined with alcohol appeared to be deadly.

Where are we going to go? And how? I searched for his car, but didn't spot any shiny Volvo anywhere.

Edward flashed an apologetic smile towards me, and my heart skipped a little. "Are you okay with getting on my back?" He asked.

"Of course."

He helped me up onto his back, and I hugged him close to myself, not really sure if I could trust the strength in my arms. He placed both of his hands on my legs, making sure I wouldn't fall off. My skirt slipped even further up, and I was worried that now it wouldn't cover anything it was supposed to cover. I didn't really have time to ask him if we could just walk, because he started running.

We left Joshua on the ground, knowing that he was going to be fine, but as evil as it sounds, I didn't really care what happens with him.

I saw Port Angeles blurring away from the corner of my eyes. I started getting a little dizzy, so I closed my eyes, hoping the dizziness would pass.

Edward had been running for a few minutes, but my sickness didn't get any better.

I opened my eyes, and only saw trees next to us, passing so quickly, and I knew I had to get off.

"Edward, please stop. Stop!" I said against the back of his head, and he slowed down, but didn't put me down just yet.

Oh dear God, please don't let me throw up on his neck. I took long deep breaths, trying to calm myself.

"Bella?" He asked, sensing that something must be wrong. He dropped his hold automatically. "Are you okay?" He asked me.

I couldn't answer him just yet, my hand clamped over my mouth, still taking deep breaths. Then I remembered what he said the first time when we ran, and I got sick. So I just sat on the ground – for the second time today – and put my head between my knees.

The spinning of the world did slow down a little. I glanced up to see a heartbreakingly beautiful Greek-God standing with a worried and pained expression on his face.

"Sorry. It must be the alcohol." I admitted not too proudly. Surely, I must look horrible and I felt revolting too.

"Do you… do this a lot lately?" he asked.

I frowned. Drinking? No. Looking like a mess? Yes. Being pathetic? More than I care to admit.

I didn't really know how to answer him. The forest was quiet, only the sound of wind eased the silence of the night.

"Why are you here, Edward?" I whispered, without answering his question. "I'm sure you're not just back, so you can oversee my alcohol intake." I said bitterly. "So why?"

It was completely dark, but the light of the moon, let me see him wince a little. Here it comes. The same face, he had while breaking up with me. The same, regretful look.

"Bella" he started, but it seemed like he didn't know how to go on. "Please, just listen to me. I have a lot to tell you. Just let me say, what I have to say, okay?" I simply nodded.

"I own you an apology. No, of course, I own you much more than that. It's just that I thought I could do it – living without you. I thought that if I left you, you would move on, and I could do the right thing, but I just couldn't, and…." He gabbled, and it was really uncharacteristic of him. Usually he knew what to say and how to say it. Always composed. But now, he was running his fingers through his hair, walking up and down nervously. "I had to come back and see if…" He stopped in his walking, and looked at me.

Edward slowly made his way towards me, and then fell onto his knees in front of me. "Bella. That day, when I left. Do you… do you remember what I said to you?"

"How could I ever forget?" The pain in my chest started to grew. I cleared my throat a little, taking a shaky breath. "I remember." No, I didn't want to remember. I fought to stay in the presence.

"Bella, that day, when I left you, I lied. I had to lie, so you would let me leave, and I knew there was no other way, but you believed me. You believed me, so easily. I told you so many times, that you were my whole world, my life. And you still believed. Why, when you…"

I was confused. "What are you talking about?" I started to feel sick again. It was like my stomach was upside down. "What did you lie about?"

Edward's eyes stared deeply into mine. "Bella, I never stopped loving you. I only wanted to leave, so you could have a normal life. What happened with Jasper, it opened my eyes. I just couldn't stand the thought of you getting hurt again. I thought that if I left, you would move on, and live a happy and full life without me." He explained.

"You still love me?" I asked. My heart stopped beating, as I waited for his answer.

"Bella. I've told you so many times, how much you mean to me. Of course I love you. I have been loving you, ever since the day I met you. I just had to…" He started explaining, but I saw red.

"You had to what?! You left me! You loved me, I loved you and you left!" I shouted, beyond angry. Tears were running down my cheeks now, and the forest echoed from my voice. "You broke my heart, Edward. Did you have any idea about that? You fucking broke my heart into a million little pieces, never even asking if I wanted you to leave! How could you do that?" I sobbed, and leaned forward ready to hit him, but he caught my hand mid-air.

"You would only hurt yourself. Trust me, I know I deserve your hate. I hate myself." He said quietly. I just kept sobbing. He loves me. He still loves me. He let me go through this past six months, while he was still loving me.

He hugged me gently against his marble chest, and I didn't protest. I laid my head into his neck, inhaling his wonderful scent. It somewhat calmed me, but I was still mad at him. "I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did." I whispered into the collar of his shirt wiping my tears.

"Don't say that. Please don't say that." He looked panicked, pushing me away enough to look at me. "I'm an idiot, I am such an idiot. I will never leave you again. I couldn't. The time we spent apart" he winced "it killed me too. There wasn't any day, or any minute even, when I wasn't thinking about you. I swear I will spend the rest of my life making that up to you. I promise, I won't ever do that again. Or…" he paused. "Is there someone else?"

There wasn't. There never could be. My heart was only his, and I couldn't deny that. Not even after all those horrible days. But a part of me thought about saying yes. I felt something I never did before. I wanted him to suffer. To feel the pain I did. The feeling surprised me. Cruelty. I have never found happiness in someone's suffering.

"No, no one besides the guy you saw today" I referred to Joshua. I heard him let out a relieved sigh.

"Bella, look at me now" he required gently. "Can you still love me after all the stupid things I have done?" he asked getting closer and closer to me. "Do you love me?"

I sighed. "There is nothing in this entire world that would make me stop loving you. No matter who you are with, what you do, or where you are, I could never stop loving you." I admitted.

"That's all I needed to hear." And then he kissed me.

A/N: Hello beautiful people reading my story!

I really hope you liked this chapter. I have not written in so long, I feel a little rusty, but I feel really passionetely about this story. I can relate to Bella in some ways. Apparently I cannot keep my promises about posting once in two weeks, this chapter came earlier again hahaha. I hope you don't mind. Please tell me in the reviews if you like this story, and if you don't, tell me why, so I can improve. Have a lovely Monday everyone!

Dori