Author's Note: For all the Pummel shippers out there. I love Pummel, too! They'd be really hot all naked and sweaty and panting. Since this site doesn't allow explicit sex, here's some schmoomp.


Puck knows he's once again fucked up everything good in his life, all because he can't let go of the resentment he harbors for his best friend.

He doesn't know why he's like this. He's examined his motives, rooting out all the little pockets of discord he's sown in his mind bearing Finn's name. The thing is, he doesn't hate Finn; he actually kind of loves him, in a completely hetero life-partner kind of way, of course. It's not like Finn has ever done anything mean or hurtful to him either, so it kind of begs the question as to why he feels the need to kick Finn in the metaphorical nuts all of the time. He guesses he has this sick desire to assert his dominance over the other boy whenever the opportunity arises.

Perfect Finn, with his perfect all-American aw-shucks good looks. Perfect Finn, who can barely spell his own name yet is the school hero because he can rasp out classic rock and run down a field like the fucking Flash. Perfect Finn, who once had Perfect Quinn, and then scored a hot scary Jewess who is so obsessed with him it creeps out everyone but Finn himself. Perfect Finn, who always had the perfect mother, and who now has the perfect stepfather. Perfect Finn, who has the perfect stepbrother, one who worships him and would do anything for him, just because he's so happy to have a whole family.

Kurt.

Just thinking the name makes his heart feel like it's trapped in a vise. Beautiful Kurt, who always tries so damn hard, who's been through hell and back more times than Jason fucking Voorhies, who's really just a scared little boy inside, who fucking risked everything to be with him, who fucking loves him so much it hurts.

And Puck's thrown it all away for no goddamn good reason.

Noah Puckerman's a douche; he knows this. But at least he comes by it honestly, he fucking owns his douchebaggery. Unlike Perfect Finn, who's an even bigger douche, who favors subtle manipulation and wields passive-aggressiveness like it's a fucking weapon. Then when he's called out on it, he unleashes his fucking Kicked Puppy Eyes and everyone rushes to coddle and coo over him. Fucking disgusting.

And it kind of bothers Puck that when a chick acts like that, she's deemed a bitch, but Finn is just offered a blanket dispensation, when he's the biggest bitch of all.

He knows Kurt, Rachel, and Santana will make it out because they won't settle for anything less. Finn will ride out on whoever's coattails will shoulder the burden. Brittany can dance like only most white girls can dream, and he knows Santana will drag the girl out by the hair on her head because, no matter what she says, Brittany is It for her. Artie will get out because he's a fucking genius who's totally awesome in his own nerdalicious way. Mercedes is so talented it's borderline ridiculous and, even if she never gets a record deal, she'll either be fiercely fabulous in some big city which will struggle to contain her magnificence or end up running the fucking country.

Sam and Quinn will stay, get married, birth the next generation of Mattel fashion dolls, and Quinn will become her mother; she'll be completely fucking miserable and will make Sam's life a living hell, but it's what she knows. Mike and Tina could go either way. As for Matt, fuck, he doesn't even remember Matt's last name or where he moved to, but wherever it is has to be better than here. Schue's a lifer who will spend the rest of his days chasing Miss Pillsbury and deluding himself that he makes a difference in the lives of his students.

Puck knows he'll probably never get out of Lima; that he'll end up marrying some bimbo because he's more in love with her tits than their bearer and that he'll cheat on her left, right and sideways, just because he can. He'll have some kids other than Beth who will grow up wondering why their father is such a useless tool. He knows college is nothing but a hope and a prayer. He knows he'll probably graduate from cleaning pools to building them, selling used cars to desperate housewives in the off-season.

He knows no matter how many Sectionals that Glee wins, it's not going to do him any good, because he's not the lead. Not in Glee, not in football, not with chicks. His whole life has been second-string and always will be. And he had pretty much accepted that. He might not have liked it, but he was dealing.

Until Kurt.

Until the day he had really looked at the boy whose life he had made a complete fucking misery. The day he figured out that he had wanted Kurt since they were fucking kids and that it no longer mattered that Kurt had a dick – and it's a pretty big fucking dick, too; who knew? – because he finally realized Kurt was his one chance to do something right, to make something right. To make something better for himself.

Puck bites his lip as he fights for breath. Jesus fuck, he loves him. He loves him so fucking much and he's never told him because, at the end of the day, Noah Puckerman is a huge pussy.

It had taken most of the summer to wear Kurt down to the point where they could talk to one another without Kurt flinching when he said his name, for that haunted, hunted look to leave his eyes. Christ, what had he done to this boy? Why had he done it? Just because he could, because it was expected? Because he was too scared to look in the mirror, terrified of what would be looking back at him?

Or was it because he was so fucking jealous that Kurt, unlike Finn, really was perfect, in all of his wonderful imperfections? Perfect Kurt, with his perfect skin and perfect hair and fucking flawless voice, who's known who he was his entire life and never apologized for it?

Why had he never realized just how goddamn strong Kurt was?

Why had he never realized that he himself was so fucking weak?

But Kurt was gone now, off to Hell's Preparatory Academy, where he can sing and dance and wear his fucking scarves, and no one gives a good goddamn, because they know they're lucky to have him.

Now there's Angry Mercedes and her perceived abandonment, though she'd done shit for Kurt while he was at McKinley. Now there was Depressed Artie, because no one had ever realized that Kurt was his best friend. There was Morose Tina, whose goth wardrobe now reflected mourning and not posing. There was Lost Rachel, who didn't know how to function in Glee without Kurt to force her to face reality.

There was Bitter Santana, who was pissed she had let the only person like her slip so easily through her fingers. There was Confused Brittany, whose mind still was unable to process that Kurt wasn't going to walk through the door in just a moment, who searched for him throughout the school and then cried when she couldn't find him.

Now there's Joyless Quinn, who is so much closer to Kurt than either had ever acknowledged. She's dating Sadsack Sam, who everyone knows has it bad for Kurt, but they say nothing because they don't know how to navigate a world in which Kurt is actively wanted by a stud who doesn't care what people think of him, yet is too damn terrified to stake a claim.

There's Homicidal Sylvester, whose fury at losing Kurt is couched in the perceived loss of another national title, who looks like she's one second away from decapitating Karofsky and mounting his head on the hood of her car, who stalks away whenever Kurt's name is mentioned because she can't bear the thought of anyone realizing how much she cares for him, how much she misses him and wants him back, but knowing that he deserves more.

There's Weird Schue, who can't figure out why Glee doesn't sound the same, why key notes have disappeared, and how badly he's failed. Because he knows that he has, but he can't quite grasp it.

There's Victim Finn who whines and pouts and mopes about how much he misses Kurt, looking for sympathy from anyone willing to offer it, but yet hasn't visited or even called Kurt to see how he's getting along because he's fucking terrified that Kurt is doing just fine without him.

And then there's him.

Stupid Puck.

Idiot Puck.

Worthless Puck.

Dumb Puck, who'd had someone who really loved him, who wanted him, who didn't care who knew it, and would clock anyone who said anything about him.

But Dumb Puck had hidden Kurt away like some embarrassing secret or treasured valuable. He didn't even know why he had hidden his relationship with Kurt, even though everyone important already knew. It wasn't like Kurt had been cajoling or threatening to tell other people. Naw, Kurt had been perfectly content to keep things in house, just between them and their friends, because all he wanted was Puck.

No, Noah.

Kurt had loved Noah, and Noah really fucking loved Kurt.

But Dumb Puck had kissed Lost Rachel to piss off Victim Finn. Then Dumb Puck hadn't even had the common fucking decency to let Kurt know what had gone down, yet was for some reason surprised when everyone else had done that for him.

Lost Rachel had called Kurt to wonder why she couldn't let herself be happy.

Victim Finn had finally called Kurt to whine about how everyone had dicked him over again.

Bitter Santana had called Kurt to offer myriad revenge plots, all of which ended with a shovel and bag of lime.

Depressed Artie had called Kurt and talked about who the fuck knows, because apparently Kartie wasn't the business of anyone but the two of them.

Morose Tina had called Kurt and wanted to know if Dalton accepted girls, because she was really tired of all this drama. Oh, and she missed him like crazy.

Angry Mercedes had called Kurt for him to talk her down from committing murder and, as usual, Kurt's problems became all about her.

Joyless Quinn just stared at him with unreadable eyes, though he could see the judgment there. She was just too polite to say anything, because she didn't give a fuck about him anymore. Instead, she drove up to Dalton and took Kurt shopping, taking Brittany with her so the girl would stop crying.

Weird Schue shot him continual looks of disappointment, like he was fucking Dumbledore and Puck was Draco Malfoy.

Sadsack Sam had a gleam in his eye that Puck did not like.

And then there was Blaine, the Dapper Dickhead, just waiting in the wings with his crusty hair and cheerful grin and fucking bowtie. And Puck knew Kurt would be vulnerable to that kind of unthreatening adoration.

Dumb Puck has lost once again, because he's dumb.

He stares down at the floor, wondering how someone can be so stupid while not being Finn, when the door suddenly flies open and Kurt prances his way inside with his Hogwarts uniform and his anime eyes and fabulous bag, trailed by Baffled Blaine.

And Dumb Puck looks up and stares and his mouth falls open and he says nothing because he's still chewing on his foot.

And Perfect Kurt saunters over and glares, and Dumb Puck stands up because this is Perfect Kurt's moment and even Dumb Puck isn't dumb enough to deny him.

"There's nothing I can say to you that you haven't already said to yourself," Kurt says, voice soft yet hard, eyes glittering like aquamarines, "but there's something you never considered."

Puck blinks.

"I still love you, Noah. That doesn't stop because you made a mistake. It was a dumb mistake, a thoughtless one, and you should have been the one to tell me."

Puck's respiration increases. Perfect Kurt still loved Dumb Puck?

"No," Kurt whispers. "Kurt still loves Noah. Kurt still wants to be with Noah."

Dumb Puck bites his lip as tears gather in his eyes.

"Kurt is angry," Kurt continues, "and hurt, and sad, but Kurt will get over it because, in the long run, Noah means more to him than hurt feelings."

Hope dawns in Dumb Puck's eyes.

"But Kurt has conditions," Kurt says. "The first is that this doesn't happen again, not with Rachel or anyone else."

Dumb Puck nods frantically.

"The second is that if you ever decide you don't want to be with me, you tell me first. You don't cheat."

Dumb Puck's nods impossibly increase.

"And the final condition is that you decide right now what's more important: me, or Puck's reputation."

Noah isn't dumb. Noah grabs Kurt and kisses him to within an inch of his life, not giving a shit who sees it, knows it, texts it, or records it.

"I love you," Puck says, loud enough for everyone to hear, not ashamed or embarrassed, wondering why he ever thought he would be. Because this feels good, feels right. "I love you, Princess."

Kurt smiles. "I know."

He takes Noah's hand in his, and Noah squeezes desperately because Kurt is his lifeline, his life, and he never wants to feel his absence again. And as Kurt leads Noah from the choir room, ignoring everyone and not giving a shit that he interrupted rehearsal, Noah starts noticing things.

He notices Confused Brittany is now Ecstatic Brittany, with an undercurrent of Will Cut A Bitch if Noah doesn't treat Kurt as her dolphin deserves.

Bitter Santana is now Begrudgingly Respectful Santana, because she still can't do for Ecstatic Brittany what he just did for Perfect Kurt.

Lost Rachel is now Even More Lost Rachel because Cunty Kurt has forgiven Dumb Puck, while Victim Finn still hasn't forgiven her.

Victim Finn becomes Resigned Finn, because he understands now that Perfect Kurt is lost to him forever as anything but a brother. Any romantic feelings Kurt might have once held for him are gone, and though Finn knows he is still loved, it's no longer a consuming love. Kurt is no longer his safety net.

Sadsack Sam is still sad, but now he's Accepting Sam, because all Sam wants is for Kurt to be happy, even if it's not with him. That makes Noah realize that Sam is a really good guy and probably the only one who actually deserves Perfect Kurt.

Angry Mercedes is still angry, but understands that Kurt has just drawn a line in the sand, and if she knows what's good for her, she'll stand with him. So she does, even though she has doubts.

Joyless Quinn now has joy, because she loves Kurt and, though she may not show it, she loves Noah, too. She wants her boys to be happy.

Depressed Artie is now Happy Artie because his bestie is happy, and that's all that matters.

Morose Tina is now Thrilled Tina because this means she and Mike can double date with Kurt and Noah, and not Mike's mom.

Weird Schue is Weirder Schue because he thinks this is all one big hallucination, even though he doesn't remember taking any Vitamin D.

The Dapper Dickhead looks like someone just killed his dog, and Dumb Puck wants to dance around him in triumph. Noah doesn't, however, because he knows he's already won. He has Kurt and will never let him go. He's content with that. He doesn't need to rub it in.

Perfect Kurt looks up at him with that delicious grin and those anime eyes and that China Doll skin and happiness.

And Dumb Puck finally gets that Noah is worthy of being loved. So Dumb Puck exits the stage, leaving only Noah and Kurt, which is as it should be, where they belong.