I'll make this quick because you have already waited enough for this chapter. Sorry for the long wait, but I'm back at College (I started again on February), so I could't update. Forgive me! I feel so bad!
Pk, no more excuses, and just enjoy!
Fragments Of A Shattered Moon
For the sake of ignorance
No. They won't come to your aid.
No. You won't see them, again.
Yes. You have lost it all.
Kagome wakes to a bright day.
It is chilly, but she doesn't feel the cold. It feels like she is wearing the coat her mother bought her for winter, and a gentle weight rests upon her, as if someone wrapped her in an abundance of blankets.
She feels like she is in a cocoon.
Things are definitely weird.
She doesn't remember a reason for her to be so wrapped up, as the last season she can remember is autumn. The leaves had already fallen from the trees, but surely, it is still far from winter? These thoughts temporally flee her mind as she feels a new sensation. Her body numbs and her limbs feel heavy, as if she hasn't moved them for a long time. Her head spins. She has no idea what happened, or why she is not under some sort of refuge.
'Surely, Inuyasha wouldn't be stupid enough to let us sleep without shelter. Not when it is so close to winter and the temperature drops unexpectedly at nights. At least he would build a fire…' She tries to sit up, but her body stays still. She opens her mouth to ask for help, but the words are stuck, and her throat rasps. She frowns and is happy that, at least, the muscles on her face still obey her.
Did they have an especially horrible and tiring battle yesterday? Her mind fogs and she cannot remember a thing, not what happened, not how she got here, nothing…
'Did someone hit me in the head? That would explain this amnesia… and anyway; where are the others?' Kagome has not heard any of their voices, and she is used to at least one of them being close. It is strange that they would leave her alone when she was still asleep. They would have at least waked her up.
And why is everything so quiet?
She begins to feel nervous.
She tries to sense them, but it seems she is too tired to use her miko powers.
'Strange. It's almost like I am out of touch, like she hadn't used them in at least a month.'
She wants the others to return.
Inuyasha should be yelling something at her, or Shippo should already have hopped onto her lap. Sango or Miroku should have wished her good morning. There should be chaos around her, not this stillness and quietness that is impossible in their group. She tries to sit up again. The blankets give her a little bit of problem, but, with difficulties, she manages to do it.
And wishes she hadn't.
The world spins around her, and if it were not for the fact that the trees, air, and ground belong to the Feudal Era, she would have thought she was having a tremendous hangover.
Except she is not the party-girl type.
What, with saving the Feudal Era and trying to keep up her grades, she does not have the time. She does not even think she has ever gone to a decent party. What would a decent party be like? Kagome shakes her head, even though it worsens her current situation. She does not need, on top of all, for her mind to start wandering to useless things. She still likes the idea of a hangover far more than the idea of some gory, tiring fight. She groans as the sunrays hit her directly on her eyes. She covers them with her hand, thankful the movement in her limbs is beginning to come back. Covering her eyes does not help the stream of sunrays. It still hurts her, as if her eyes have closed off light for a while. All her moves are slow and painful.
It must have been one hell of a fight.
"Inuyasha?" she asks softly. Her voice will die out if she speaks louder. No one answers. She looks around, noticing for the first time where she is. There is snow on the ground. She is in the middle of what looks like a clearing, and now, Kagome is really beginning to think that something is terribly wrong because not one of them would choose such an open place to lay a camp.
Carefully, she tries to stand up.
"Shit!" she exclaims, as her feet slip with the snow and her bottom hits the ground. "That didn't go well," she unhappily mutters to herself.
It takes her six more tries and, somehow, eight more falls for her to get on her feet. She ponders walking around, yelling for someone, but seeing how the 'getting up' task went, she is too scared to try moving. Instead, she settles for standing still. It is quite a smart decision, if she does say so herself. She can hear the wind whistling through the quietness. No birds sing; it is too cold. Ice coats the leaves, and the ground under her feet is frozen. Still, there is no sound of the others. Her frown deepens.
'Where are they?' she thinks. 'Inuyasha should be here… or Sango and Miroku. And Shippou should definitely be here; he never leaves my side. At the very least, Kirara should be near. And Inuyasha should be complaining about...anything, really. It's not like he is very picky.'
He would say something about her laziness, even if it is unjustified. How can he expect her to stay lively? It is not as if she is a hanyou with lots of energy to burn off. However, there is no complaining. In fact, there is nothing, and Kagome is extremely sure that it was autumn when she last saw them. It is impossible for the world to suddenly transform. A month was still missing before the first snowfall. She is very careful with the weather, and she would have gone back home to get some provisions. Especially since she had already been in the Feudal Era for three months, so she would have to go back home for food, winter clothes, medicine, and other useful things. Her mother is probably freaking out, and she would have definitely gone back to the well before moving further into Feudal Japan.
Kagome's chest fills with dread. Where is everyone? She doesn't like this. It doesn't feel right. Something in her heart tells her something horrible that will change her life forever has happened. Except she would remember any awful event that could spin her life around. It is not as if one can just forget something like that.
And she's still in the Feudal Era. That is important.
If something horrible has happened, Inuyasha would have taken her home.
'Unless something happened to Inuyasha…' she waves the thought away. Nothing bad could happen to Inuyasha--she should know. She has been caught in endless battles with him, and even though she sometimes thought he would die, he never has. There is no reason to think something bad has happened to him.
But she is definitely sure it was autumn when she last saw anyone, and now it is winter.
She feels like one of those people from the movies that wake up and realize they had lost years of life. She certainly hopes that is not the case. As if her life was not hectic enough, on top of that, losing time would not please her. Her breath starts to thicken, part cold air, part fear.
The hairs at the back of her neck stand up as suddenly as when her eyes opened.
Someone watches her.
Kagome turns as quickly as she can, falling again with the movement. She curses, scrapes hair from her face, and as she does so, her eyes widen, and she is staring at a scary sight.
She looks into the cold, golden eyes of the Taisho brother who doesn't really like her and has tried, in the past, to kill her. It does not matter that he has helped her, too, and he did travel at times with her team… and he takes care of a little human girl.
Kagome repeats all the good things Sesshoumaru has done in her head, but there are not very many, and it doesn't help her nerves. Sesshoumaru has an amazing capacity to get on her nerves. He just stares at her, stone still, and Kagome swears he says nothing just to make her itchier.
As if she couldn't freak herself out without him.
Being in front of Sesshoumaru with no one else with her is sure to be one of the leading causes to heart failure.
Would doctors, in her time, consider him a cause for early death? She thinks they would. And really, as if his presence alone wasn't a reason for early deaths, he is a demon completely capable of killing before you even blink. He could even torture her until she asked for death, and then…
Kagome stops those thoughts, reminding herself that thinking those things will definitely not help her situation; it's only making her feel more distressed.
She stands in front of Sesshoumaru.
Alone.
Before him.
Defenseless.
Where is her bow?
Sesshoumaru is staring.
She frankly moves her head around, looking for Inuyasha.
He keeps staring.
Where is that stupid hanyou? As soon as he arrives and saves her, she will sit him to oblivion.
And staring…
She will do more than sit him innumerable times, she will take all the ramen away and will never bring more.
If she survives…
And staring some more.
She's…
"He's not coming," Sesshoumaru says in a tone completely void of emotion.
Kagome forgets her fear and cocks her head to the side, trying to remember a time when Sesshoumaru first started any conversation. She dumbly stares at him.
"He's dead. Everyone is dead. Naraku killed them. He killed you, too."
Kagome is making a good impression of a gold fish. She had no idea Sesshoumaru could be so articulate.
"I revived you."
Kagome's blue eyes are watching him as if for the first time. She does not really understand what he is saying. The words reach her ears, but her brain is having a hard time processing them.
"Reviving can disorientate you. Sleeping for long periods can do that, too. Your body must feel heavy, and you are having a hard time coordinating your limbs. It is also normal."
"Oh," Kagome replies. "I think that's the most I've ever heard you say."
***
Sesshoumaru is left speechless at her choice of words.
Never, in all of his lifetime, has he gotten such an emotionless and frivolous answer as today. Ok, so he has gotten more emotionless and frivolous answers, but not concerning the death of one held dear or…your own death.
'Maybe she does not care about my half brother as thought.' Sesshoumaru quickly erases that possibility. He could smell the care she has for her half brother. There were times when she even had a scent that was extremely close to what Inuyasha's mate's scent should smell like.
Except she has never really smelled like that. Inuyasha's smell overcomes hers, as if they mated, but Kagome has never been Inuyasha's mate or miko, for that matter.
That title stood reserved for the dead priestess, who was probably truly dead this time and would not come back to life.
At least, he does not think so, and now is not the time to wonder which of the two humans Inuyasha's was truly. Inuyasha is dead. The dead priestess is…dead, again, and the only thing left of that triangle is Kagome.
Besides, the insignificant problems of humans and hanyou deserve none of his attention.
He is more important than that.
At least, he was more important, until Naraku took all that was his.
Sesshoumaru makes a mental note to get all that was his returned so he is once more above the acts of normal beings. Not that he is not;and he should pay attention to the miko in front of him. Such a waste of time…He has been reduced to having to explain to a miko exactly why Inuyasha, or anyone else she used to know, will not come when she yells for them.
Naraku will pay with more than blood.
"Kagome…" he starts, using her name to get her attention. It works, but not in the way, he expected, and she interrupts him before he can continue.
"You know my name?"
Sesshoumaru tries to maintain his composed face as his instincts to kill her fuel him. She is annoying him, which is a very good motive for assassination. He tries, once more, to explain the situation.
"Naraku came," he says, ignoring her last question. He makes his voice slow so that she will catch everything he has to say. He does not like to repeat himself. He does not even like to explain himself. He cannot remember the last time he had to do such a mundane think like explaining. "You fought him." Because Inuyasha's group had been fighting the hanyou for at least a year and a half every time they crossed paths. "You did not survive." It does not take a genius to know this. Sesshoumaru must have arrived only hours after the battle. The smell of blood was still fresh. Kagome was still alive. "I brought you back to life."
She says nothing, keeping still, her mouth half open, and her big, blue eyes wide and staring at him.
And Rin wanted her to live?
Not only did she waste two months of his life sleeping, she is wasting more time awake. He should have known not to listen to little girls that also annoyed him.
"I'm…" she says, "dead?"
Sesshoumaru wants to smack his head on the nearest tree, which is very unlike him. "No," he tells her forcefully, coldly. He sees her flinch at the tone of his voice. She must not be used to people being that hard with her. She will have to get used to it, because Sesshoumaru does not care about what she is used to or not. "You are not dead anymore."
Her eyes travel to Tenseiga, safely at his hip, and, if possible, her eyes widen more.
"Where is Tetsusaiga?" she asks unexpectedly.
It is his turn to feel confused. What does that sword have to do with anything? He takes his moment to answer. "It is in Naraku's possession." His voice stays controlled. His blood is almost venom with all the anger he feels inside. Tetsusaiga was his father's. He left it to the unworthy hanyou, fine. He could live with that. However, for the sword to be in even more worthless hands than Inuyasha's is beyond what even Sesshoumaru can take without baring some emotion.
A flash of anger crosses his eyes before disappearing, not leaving a trace of it. Kagome doesn't even seem to notice.
"But Inuyasha…"
He is getting tired of all of this. She is too slow, and he has many people to kill, new governments to destroy, demons to torture, counts to settle. He has no time for pathetic human miko who do not seem to understand the easiest of statements. He turns to leave. He has brought her back to life. Rin's last wish has been done. He has even taken the time to wait for her eyes to open. He finished his job. There has nothing else to do here. Just as he is taking his first steps from the strange, obviously slow, human, her voice reaches his ears, and there is something in that voice that stops him.
"Inuyasha…" she says, and he can hear the sorrow that name is beginning to cost her. "…wouldn't let Tetsusaiga from his side unless…"
He turns his head to watch her. She is up, reaching for the nearest tree, trying to find some support. Her eyes are beginning to fill with tears. He has no pity for her, only a vague curiosity.
And her eyes lock with his.
"He is dead."
She falls to the ground in a dead faint. Sesshoumaru does not move for a long time. He stares at her fragile body in the middle of the field. Anything could come and kill her. All his work of bringing her back to life and waiting for her to wake would be wasted if she were killed again.
Rin would be pouting in whatever place she abides at right now.
That child has been a bad influence on him.
He lets out a defeated sigh and moves towards her, and as he bents, it suddenly occurs to him that Naraku planned his schedule of assassinations to the last detail. The hanyou went to his domains at the exact time that he would not be able to get there to fight.
Naraku killed Rin in just the right moment for him to be too far to help her. He moved towards his half brother's group and killed them all before he could get there. He eliminated all possible future threats except Sesshoumaru.
He is avoiding him.
Naraku, after all, does not sin of stupidity. He does sin, however, of arrogance and pride. If he did not, he would have killed Sesshoumaru. On the other hand, he would have tried. However, Sesshoumaru was left standing, and because of that single mistake, so is Kagome, miko of the Shikon No Tama. Sesshoumaru lets a small smile of contempt grace his features.
Naraku has just made his first two mistakes.
Kagome is alive; she, his biggest threat, and Sesshoumaru will make sure to make her even a bigger threat. Even if it means the torture of spending time with her.
***
Kagome is about to go into hysterics.
She is breathing too hard, moving back and forth on a straight line, and is getting more agitated by the minute. Kaede is not sure if she should be more worried about her cave floor getting a new, nice hole to adorn it, or about Kagome walking herself to death.
"How could this happen?" she suddenly yells at no one in particular. Her eyes are shining with unshed tears. Her shoulders tense. Her voice shakes. Kaede knows Kagome is in no position to have this conversation. Maybe some tea would help…"How can they all be dead?"
"It's simple," Sesshoumaru says. "Their hearts stopped beating. Their lungs stopped bringing in air. The blood stopped flooding through their veins." An evil look crosses his eyes. "Actually, I think their blood was spilled everywhere. Yours certainly was."
Kaede glares at him. Sesshoumaru shrugs. It is not his fault if Kagome cannot take the truth.
Kagome ignores them both.
"I can't…" she says. "I can't remember anything."
Except that is not true. She can remember someone yelling for Sango. Someone pushed her out of the way of a danger. There was a big whole swallowing someone else, and Inuyasha's face flashes for a brief moment before her eyes.
"Kagome…" Kaede says gently, and just as lightly, puts her hands over her shoulder to cease her pacing. Kagome's blue eyes are full of despair, confusion, and a pain close to agony. Kaede can see the young girl clinging to false hopes. "They are all dead."
Sesshoumaru mutters something that sounds like 'I already said that.'
Kaede decides to pretend she didn't hear him.
Kagome suddenly goes still. She stares into Kaede's eyes, and without vacillation, she speaks the last thing she ever thought she would hear coming from those lips.
"I know Inuyasha is dead," she says. Her tone is somber, her eyes even more. "I know the rest of them are all dead." Because she cannot remember exactly how, but they would be next to her if they were alive. "What I would like to know…what I would really like to know is…" Her eyes are dull behind the tears threatening to fall at any minute. "Why am I not dead?"
Kaede feels like dying. She is only an old miko that destiny has refused to kill. Death just does not seem willing to take her soul yet. Kagome, however, sweet, naïve, innocent, Kagome has so much in her. She is still young. She still has the strength to rise. She… She is giving up. Kaede can see it clearly in her eyes. She does not wish to continue living.
And this, more than anything else, shatters Kaede's last hope.
She didn't get it, not at first, not in that cold clearing, and definitely not when it came from Sesshoumaru's lips. It is not that she believes the demon would lie; it is just that it did not seem real for Sesshoumaru to be telling her such an important thing. She had believed it was a nightmare, and when she woke up, everything would be all right. When her eyes had opened again, she had caught sight of Kaede, and Kagome had believed it was all really just a dream. Until she turned her head and instead of Inuyasha, there was Sesshoumaru again.
Her brain starts to work again, and the words previously ignored had taken a new meaning.
Inuyasha is dead.
The thought sent her into hysterics at first.
Everyone is dead.
The thought leaves her close to despair.
She is alive.
Why? She had asked, but so far, the cave she was in (weird, why was she not at Kaede's village?) was silent.
No one is answering her.
Kagome opens her mouth to ask again. Sesshoumaru beats her to it.
"You are not dead because I brought you back to life."
Kagome's eyes finally turn towards Sesshoumaru. "But why?"
Sesshoumaru can understand the confusion. He himself does not really know why he did it. Rin's petition was enough for him to bring her back, but not for him to stay until she woke. He decides to go with his favorite answer. "Because I wanted to."
"But why?"
Sesshoumaru cannot remember a time when that answer failed him. Because he does not wish to explain himself further, he turns his eyes from Kagome to Kaede.
"You are the Shikon No Tama's miko," Kaede fills in. "The pearl has not been returned. You are still needed."
Kagome explodes.
"The pearl!" she yells at the top of her lungs. Both occupants watch the cave entrance, expecting someone to burst in and kill them all. Kagome raises her voice. "I don't care about the stupid pearl!" It has brought nothing more than pain, tears, unrequited love, and friends that she will never see again. "I don't care about this stupid era!" Nothing good has come out of falling down the stupid well and into this world. She lives neither in the future nor in the past. The present is something she just refuses to think of. "I don't care about you!" she yells at Kaede, suddenly at that place where anger takes you to hate everything and anything that steps onto your view. "And I don't want to be here anymore!" she declares. Her pain is gone, replaced with anger, and she looks at Kaede with fury that was seconds ago anguish.
"You have to…" Kaede starts to say, wishing for the words to calm Kagome. Even though she wished two months ago for Kagome to go back where she belonged, she now knows that is not possible.
Not with all but one shard out of Naraku's possession.
Kagome cuts off any words she might have said. "I don't care," she says. Her voice is lower but no less angry. "This is not my time." Kagome only stayed because of her group of friends, and if they are gone, and she was not gone with them, she did not wish to stay. "I have already lost all my teenage years. I will not lose more." Because without them, Kagome knows there is nothing tying her to this place. She owes it nothing. She has given it everything and now it has stripped her of what she loves the most.
She will no longer stay in this place.
"Where is the well?" Nothing will stop her. She does not care for the destiny of this era. She furiously brushes the tears that are starting to come from her eyes. She will not cry. This place doesn't deserve her tears.
Sesshoumaru stares, understanding half of what has been said. He doesn't know why a well would be necessary for her to go home. He also does not understand why Kaede has not told her that all of Japan is under Naraku, and her village has most likely been destroyed. He will not even go into the comment about this 'not being her era'.
"Kagome, you cannot…"
"Just tell me where it is!"
Kaede sighs. She knows she should probably try to stop Kagome from going back home. She knows the Feudal Era is gone is she leaves. She knows the future would probably be affected, but she can see that Kagome can fight no more. Not now. The girl has been like a daughter to her, and seeing her in such despair…
Kaede walks to the entrance and points at the direction of the well. It is not far. They are still in Inuyasha's forest, and his tree can be seen from where she stands. Being injured and old has not allowed her to go put a lot of distance between the village and the cave. She had travelled just far enough. Kaede supposes letting go of Kagome, who is not really from this time, is the only thing she can do for the child.
She feels like she is betraying everyone that has died.
Sesshoumaru just keeps on staring, and as Kagome goes off running in the direction the old miko pointed out, he stands.
"She can't go."
Kaede just smiles sadly. "She doesn't belong here."
"I didn't bring her back for nothing," he says, almost angry. He has wasted enough of his time for her to just skip off. He walks out the cave.
"Let her go!"
But Sesshoumaru has never listened to anyone but a young girl named Rin.
He follows the miko's scent, or rather follows the remains of Inuyasha's scent on Kagome.
***
Kagome runs through the woods without stopping. She runs and runs and runs, and she fights the new tears and continues running.
'They're dead, dead, dead…'
She has to get away from this place. Their faces flash through her mind. Their last moments start coming back to her. Their screams, their pain.
She has to get out.
She doesn't see her surroundings. She doesn't hear the quietness sounds around her. She doesn't feel Sesshoumaru's presence. She can just see the well. She runs, runs, runs, trying to leave her mind behind. She doesn't take a moment to think as she launches herself to the well, waiting for the pull of time to take her away from this.
From them.
From the memories.
She thinks about her home, her mom, her bed, the friends she left behind, the ones she has just lost and is never getting back. She thinks of the new life she will begin in her real time, and she thinks…
However, the pull of time does not come. Kagome falls to the hard ground.
Crack.
Something breaks. She lets out an agonized yell as her foot twists in an odd shape.
Sesshoumaru's head pops from the entrance of the wall.
Kagome yells and yells and yells.
Sesshoumaru does not understand the look of despair in her eyes.
She woke up! And now she knows everyone she loved is gone and the well doesn't work! Oh, poor Kagome! And Sesshoumaru. Again, sorry for taking so long to update, but school has been difficult and demanding, but I almost have chap. 5 ready, so it should be up the next week or so. Review people! Your reviews make me happy and keep me writing!
