Okay I don't want to clutter up all this chapter with apologies, because I know I have a LOT of apologising to do! But believe me when I say that I am honestly doing my best to update D: I just find very little time! x.x


Be True to Yourself

"You can't apparate inside Hogwarts!" Harry said indignantly.

Neville shook his head sagely. "How many times do we need to tell you Harry, things are changing around here!"

Hermione was nodding along absently, her gaze focused on the perky blonde who was waving at the students as though she were some sort of celebrity. Ron, on the other hand, was wholly concentrated on his food, and Harry winced every time Ron bit into something particularly crunchy.

"Hello!" Marietta said cheerfully. "You can call me Mary!"

"She speaks in exclamation marks." Ginny muttered.

Ron snorted into his drink.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Marietta will be taking the role of Head Girl,and the current Head Girl and Head Boy are no longer required." (AN: I was having a massive writer's block because I had no idea what to do with Mary!)

The look on Hermione's face turned to one of distaste. "I'm supposed to be working with her?"

Dumbledore continued. "Marietta will also be attending classes with the seventh-years from Gryffindor house."

A mixture of cheers and jeers erupted as Mary made her way to the Gryffindor table, her smile never fading. She seated herself next to Ginny, who looked as though she wanted to rip the smile off her face.

Fred, who was opposite Mary, flashed her a cocky grin, and Harry could practically read the thoughts running through his head. He smirked.

"You must be Harry Potter!" She chirped. "Hello!"

"Hi." Harry mumbled, trying to ignore all the looks that students across the Great Hall were shooting him. He was relieved when Mary turned to Ginny and struck up a one-sided conversation with her. Suddenly he felt Ron's breath in his ear. "How long d'you think it'll take for Ginny to hex her?"

Harry allowed himself a tense smile, then tried to catch Dumbledore's eye. But for some odd reason, Dumbledore refused to look at Harry, just as he had at the Hearing. Instead, Dumbledore was gazing intently at the Sorting Hat and... talking to it? Harry blinked.

"These are strange times." Nearly Headless-Nick reappeared. "Very strange times indeed."

Harry suddenly pushed his chair back. The atmosphere was strained, artificial, and it felt nothing like it was supposed to.

"I'm going to bed." He announced.

Ron said something with a mouthful of something that looked like pudding, but Hermione was too preoccupied shooting furtive glances at the staff table. Ginny had her head in her hands in frustration, and Harry doubted she even heard him over the sound of Mary talking. Mary, however, leapt to her feet.

"Oh, let me come with you!" She said excitedly. "You can show me where the common room is!"

Slightly frustrated, Harry had no choice but to lead her along. Ginny's content sigh of relief was probably heard by the entire table as Harry and Mary left.


Harry pointed at the portrait of the Fat Lady, who was surveying them silently.

"You just need to tell her the password." He said wearily.

"Mimbulus Mimbletonia!" She piped.

The portrait swung open and the two clambered in. As soon as the door shut, Mary turned to Harry and began speaking as fast as she could, in a breathy voice.

"Oh. My. God." She said. "We need to talk about your life. Did you see the way Draco was looking at you? You two would be like, so cute-"

"WHAT?" Harry interrupted, part furious and part embarrassed.

Mary waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, please. Honey, you aren't fooling anyone. The two of you were meant to be. It's fate, destiny, call it what you want to! Gay is the new "cool" now. Where would we all be without homoerotic subtext?"

Harry was at a loss for words. "Er- I'm straight. I'm sure I am."

She laughed. "That's what they all say! You just need to discover your true self, and admit that you've always had a deep affection for Draco and there's nothing you want more than-"

"Stop." He said, irritated. "That is not true."

"Good guys always go for the bad guys! That's how romance works, don't you know? It's not about chemistry anymore, it's about two hot guys getting together!"

Harry opened and shut his mouth like a fish. Her argument made no sense, but he couldn't think of anything to say to her. He remembered what Sirius had told him once. "Never argue with a stupid person. They drag you down to their level, and beat you with experience" (AN: yeah I found that somewhere, so, not my idea xD )

"I don't have any feelings for Draco." He attempted lamely.

Mary cut him off. "You need to be honest to yourself. It's okay to be gay Harry, everyone will understand. Half of the students here are flaming homosexuals! They just haven't realised yet!"

Suddenly the reality of the situation came back to Harry. "Who are you?" He demanded. "What are you doing to us?"

Mary smiled at him like a mother would to a child. "I'm here to help you be true to yourselves. And to show you how much better the story of your lives could be if you were all practically perfect in every way!"

"Did you just quote Mary Poppins?" Harry was dumbfounded.

Mary's smile widened, and she placed what was meant to be a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder. "Don't worry. Soon enough, you'll accept the truth. Good night!"

She pranced away, and Harry stared at her open-mouthed. That was how Ginny and the others found him.

"Did she convert you?" Ron asked worriedly.

Harry shook his head, wavering between a laugh and a sob.

Ginny looked exhausted. "Did she attack you with her exclamation marks?"

Harry burst out into hysterical laughter, causing Hermione to flinch in anxiety.

"No-" He choked. "No, she's not all about exclamation marks!"


Okay so, I'm sorry (again) and my exams are almost over (but I have a new set of exams at the end of June UGH) so my updates should start getting a little more regular x.x

I'll probably write more about it on my profile!

Well, R&R please? :D I would REALLY appreciate it!