Disclaimer : I don't own Naruto. If I did, then the title would be Sasuke.
Note : Random, but there's a point. Search for it.
Chapter Four : First Intruder.
Several days had passed, Sasuke and Itachi only spoke at the important times. Walking into the kitchen, Sasuke sat at the table. He watched Itachi cook soup for breakfast. The older boy kept his back to his brother most of the time. It had been this way back then... when they were enemies. And that was not too long ago.
I regret everything. Sasuke stared down at his empty bowl. Why did I even admit that? Itachi keeps ignoring me now! Yeah, Sasuke, you're so smart...
Itachi poured Sasuke soup from the pot. He poured himself soup and sat down. Taking a sip, there was a pause of eerie silence. Itachi fell off the chair, either choking or something else... Sasuke stared blankly, he didn't get it.
"Onii-san?" Sasuke poked him with a spoon.
Shooting up, Itachi held up a finger. He took a glass and drank all the water. "I just remembered to tell you something." dramatic pause. "I'm going to go extreme skipping with the Akatsuki Clan today."
"You choked just to say that...?"
Nodding, Itachi squealed. "Well, c'ya later!" he ran through the door.
Sasuke picked up the phone. Onii-san forgot breakfast. he dialed Naruto's number and waited for him to pick up. "Naruto-kun, want to come over toni--er right now?"
"HELL YES!" Naruto exclaimed. He popped through the broken door. Naruto jumped on Sasuke. "I heard that Itachi0sama went extreme skipping with the Akatsuki." he licked Sasuke. "I saw them jumping--uh skipping--in the park!"
Blankly staring, Sasuke nodded. "I'm embarrassed to know him. Actually, I know pretty much all of them... intense..."
Laughing, Naruto Uzamaki stood up. He wandered to the kitchen and opened up their white fridge. "Itachi-sama has a lot of alcohol products in here... and most of hte bottles are either empty or half full." he rummaged through a little more. "This milk you have in here is half expired, Sasuke! You're going to get sick from it!!!"
Sasuke pulled Naruto away from the fridge. "Naruto, my dear love," he stopped.
"What?"
"Let's... bake cookies for my brother." he grinned and took Naruto's chin within his palm. Naruto blushed hard as Sasuke released him. Holding up a pink apron Sasuke twirled it around then hugged it.
Is this really Sasuke? he watched the ninja frolic around the kitchen
Bleep. Sasuke ran up to his laptop and clicked the message. regretzLyfe : I'm watching you, Sasuke-kun. Sasuke held up a clenched fist. "DAMN YOU ONII-SAN!!!" he fell over.
Twitching, Naruto looked through the fridge and pulled out some cookie dough.
Sasuke fell over a second time after he finally stood up again. He stared at the floor. Onii-san is watching me... the feeling of his eyes on my body is making me horny... he shivered. What to do about Naruto-kun? This lovey-dovey faking stuff is growing a little out of hand. I mean, I'm even floating through the kitchen twirling around the apron that Itachi bought me like a little girl and her teddy bear. Sasuke, you have to put an end to this!!!
Glancing around, Naruto placed the cookie dough on a baking tray.
Uchiha Sasuke brushed his black hair out of his face. "Hey, Naruto-kun. Let's go meet Itachi after his extreme skipping. We'll have a picnic. I'll invite everyone!"
Nodding, Naruto stuck the pan into the oven and turned it on. He watched Sasuke send people messages.
"Oops... I invited Sakura-chan..." Sasuke slammed his face on the desk, "She's going to be all goo-goo over Itachi!"
The younger boy had no response.
Sasuke took Naruto in his arms and stole a kiss from his lips. Be romantic, Sasuke... he grabbed Naruto's ass. "I'm so in--" bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. "love with you!" he lied, slipping his tounge into Naruto's mouth. He kept Naruto's mouth busy as he--bleep, bleep-- slipped a hand up his shirt.
Putting his hand at the top of Sasuke's pants, Naruto poked a finger down Sasuke's pants.
Bleep. Growing out, Sasuke turned to his computer.
regretzLyfe : I'M STILL WATCHING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
regretzLyfe : I'M STILL WATCHING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
regretzLyfe : I'M STILL WATCHING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
regretzLyfe : I'M STILL WATCHING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
regretzLyfe : I'M STILL WATCHING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And so on...
Ignoring it, Sasuke went back to pleasing his so called lover. Minutes had passed.
BLEEP!!!!!I Sasuke turned. "WHAT NOW ITACHI?!??!!?!??!"
"Sasuke, the cookies are done." Naruto said. He grabbed an oven mitt and opened the oven. A wave of the scent passed Sasuke, knocking him over. "I baked them too long! They're a little burnt, Sasuke-kun!" he grew teary eyed.
"Don't cry, baby." Sasuke held out a rose to him. "Anything you make I'll love. Especially our children."
"Children...?"
Sasuke spun around with Naruto in his arms. "Let's make sandwiches, salad, punch, whatever! Oh, and we'll go buy things..."
Chewing on a spatula, Naruto slightly cocked his head. Sasuke seems so fake today... I wonder what he ate this morning. Itachi must've drugged him!
"NARUTO-KUN!!!" a hair dryer flung at him.
Falling over, Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Okay, last chapter the tuna was random. This chapter it's a hair dryer! What next?" he ate a cookie. "A rubber chicken?"
As Naruto had predicted, Sasuke smacked his ass with a rubber chicken. Then, he walked into the next paragraph. Naruto : Wtf????
"Damn, you sure are psychic. Naruto, guess what I'm going to do next?" Sasuke murmured as he set the rubber chicken on the counter. He silently waited for any reply possible. "Let's just go back to the story..."
Author : wtf...?
Fangirl : KAWAII!!!!!!
Author : Anywayzz...
xxxxx
Naruto walked outside with Sasuke. They made their way down the street. At Gaara's house, there was a large sign that read GAARA THE THERAPIST! a line of fangirls was waiting to see Gaara. Sasuke grinned. "I started the trend." they heard a high pitched scream. Most would have thought it was a fangirls squeal, but to Sasuke and Naruto, it seemed bloodcurdling. "Therapy didn't help him... he's just killing all his costumers... they must be obsessed..."
When they reached the park, Sasuke grabbed a pair of binoculars. he looked through them and adjusted the lens. He could see Itachi's eyes very clearly. As if Itachi was standing directly in front of him.
The binoculars were knocked out of his hands. Itachi as standing directly in front of him. He was wearing a frilly pink dress. "Loser had to wear this... so don't ask."
"Since when does Itachi lose?" Naruto muttered.
"I tripped on some random pink hair dryer that fell from the sky."
Sasuke began to whistle as Naruto nudged him.
Smiling, Itachi twirled around. "I feel so pretty!" he removed the ribbon in his hair and flipped it around. It whacked Sasuke across the face.
What's wrong with Itachi and Sasuke? Naruto blankly stared at the Uchiha brothers. He walked to a picnic table and began to set out the food on it. He watched them argue about slapping Sasuke in the face with his silky hair.
Sasuke turned away from Itachi. "I wonder how that hair dryer got so much distance... I know that I tossed it out the window, but it shouldn't have gotten that far." he scratched his head. "By the way, that is your hair dryer."
Picking up the pink device, Itachi was dumbfounded. "I wonder why it looked so familiar."
Evilly laughing, Sasuke ran to the picnic table. He crashed into Hinata who fell on Naruto who fell on Ino who fell on Kisame who fell on Deidara who fell on Sasori who fell on Kiba who fell on Kakashi who fell on Temari who fell on Gai who fell on Rock who fell on Tsunade... la la la la la... who fell on TenTen who fell on Sakura who fell on Itachi who fell on Sasuke. Sakura hugged Itachi to the death.
"ITACHI-SAMA! BE MY LOVE!" she screamed like a fangirl.
Letting out a high pitch scream, Itachi ran into the distance. He didn't come back until fifteen minutes later.
"HEAR ME RAWR!" Kisame stuffed cookies into his mouth.
Gasping, Itachi pointed at Orochimaru and yelled out. "RAPIST!!!!" he squealed in fear like a little girl and ran away for another fifteen minute period. When he came back, he saw Orochimaru. "RAPIST!!!!" he ran away for another fifteen minutes once again. Itachi ran back from the other side of the park and crashed into Sakura. "FANGIRL!!!" he ran back and crashed into Orochimaru. "RAPIST!!!!" he ran back to Sakura. The whole thing went on for about another thirty minutes. Sasuke stopped him.
"JIERDA!!!" Itachi fell over from a blast of light. (note : Jierda comes from the Inheritance Trilogy. AKA Eragon... Lol...) Sasuke wiped off his hands and grinned at his brother. "Let's have lunch, Onii-san!"
Nodding, Itachi sat as far away from Orochimaru and Sakura. He noticed that Kisame ate all the cookies.
xxxxx
After they ate and everyone left, Naruto turned to Sasuke. They were finished cleaning, he gave Sasuke the basked and smiled at him.
"Sasuke, I have to get home. It's getting late." he bowed.
Pulling him up, Sasuke planted a kiss on his cheek. "C'ya tomorrow, Naruto-kun." he hugged Naruto goodbye.
Itachi turned to Sasuke after Naruto left. "That was a little interesting today..." he turned to face the sunset. "I noticed that you were being fake towards Naruto. Every action that you made was forced out."
Glancing over at his brother, Sasuke shrugged.
"You know," Itachi got close to Sasuke. He whispered into his brother's ear. "Naruto-kun's the first intruder in our life. The first to get between us."
A kiss was placed on Sasuke's ear.
That was hella random... and I'm proud. xD
It's not over yet...
