If You Hurt Her
A/N: Hi, guys, so here's a new chapter. For those of you who were wonderings, I had a brilliant birthday. I'm 17 now, in case you wanted to know. Anyway. In this chapter, Fury and Nick go Papa Bear over Phillipa, Nat, Penny, KiKi and Beth threaten Diego, the original Avengers make various appearances, Clint and Natasha confront Nat about her relationship with Nathan, Justin and Penny grudgingly tell their parents about how they feel about one another and KiKi and Beth approach their 'resources' regarding getting Sif a Midguardian boyfriend.
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING. Save for Phillipa, Diego, Nat, Nathan, KiKi, Beth, Penny and Justin.
Phillipa's grin was a mile wide when she got back from her date with Diego. They walked across the landing deck of the Hellicarrier hand-in-hand, heading for the break room. No doubt that the others -apart from Justin and Penny, of course but the couple would go them later- would be congregated, probably wanting to know what happened.
At least, that was the plan.
"Stark, Coulson!" Fury called from his office. Phillipa sighed and she reluctantly released Diego's hand.
"Sir?" Diego asked, walking to Fury's office.
"Stark, in here. Coulson, with Agent Hill on the bridge," Fury ordered, both he and Nathan glared at Diego.
Phillipa squeezed Diego's hand. "See you, Di," she said softly.
"Laters, Pip," Diego answered. Phillipa left and she closed the door softly behind her. Fury and Nathan's simmering-anger persona's remained, however.
"Uh, Directors? W-what's this about?" Diego asked, suddenly nervous with the way that the two Furys where glaring at him. Fury senior's famed, esteemed, precious rocket launcher was sat in the corner, ready to be used if need be.
"This is about you seeing fit to take my not-meant-suggestion to heart and actually carry it out," Nathan scowled. "I didn't actually mean for you to ask out my little sister."
"You shouldn't have told him in the first place. You never ever recommend your sister to a player," Fury said.
"Hey! Look, I know you're protective of Phillipa but she's a big girl now and she can take care of herself. She was trained by Natasha Romanov for Christ sakes! And for all you know I might actually like her!" Diego protested.
"The hell you do!" Fury growled, looking awfully pained.
"Stark you've known her all your life, and you were comin' onto Nat not six hours ago," Nathan stated in a bored tone.
"Which you punched me in the face for," Diego replied.
"Which you deserved wholly, Stark," Nathan said in the same tone but casting furtive looks at his father. Nick Fury knew nothing of his son's relationship with Nat Barton. But, he did now.
"Oh, I'm sorry for being honest about how I feel about Phillipa! I've actually liked her for a while now, but I knew she could never like me back so I surrounded myself with other girls to take my mind of things," Diego admitted.
"Man you are so full of shit," Nathan snorted. But Fury knew better. He saw the look in Diego's eyes. He knew that his admission was genuine.
"Nathan. Shut up. We will talk about you and Agent Barton junior later. Now, Stark. If you ever hurt Phillipa in any way. Hell if you so much as make her cry, I will get that rocket launcher in the corner and shoot it up your ass-"
"Oh, I'm sorry Nick. What, were you threatening my son?" Tony Stark asked, leaning against the door frame.
"Your boy is dating Phillipa," Fury stated.
"Good for him, I say, but that doesn't mean you can go Papa Bear on him. If Diego does anything to Phillipa she'll kick his ass herself. That girl don't take anyone's shit and you know it," Tony told the director. "And you, Mini-Fury. Don't think that Clintasha haven't found out about your little thing with their baby girl," he added to Nathan, using his nickname for Clint and Natasha.
"Stark," Fury interrupted.
"Yeah?" both Diego and Tony answered, smirking slightly in their own little father-son way.
"Stark junior," Fury amended.
"Yes, sir?" Diego answered, still smirking.
"I'll still fire my rocket launcher up your ass if you hurt her," Fury told him. "Dismissed."
"Sir," Diego nodded and left. Tony smirked, nodded to the two Furys and followed his son.
Nick turned to Nathan, who began to feel uncomfortable. "Now. About Nat Barton…"
Oh, shit.
Diego whistled tunelessly on his way to the break room, going to find Phillipa. She hadn't been on the Bridge -though Agent Hill had tried to warn Diego off her daughter- and she wasn't on deck.
"Stark!" someone yelled. Diego turned to see Nat, Penny, KiKi and Beth heading his way. Diego gulped. There was a phrase. It went, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Tony, Clint, Bruce, Steve, Thor and Fury all say different. They say, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned's best friend."
Tony had an unfortunate meeting with Natasha, Jocelyn, Darcy, Jane, Betty and Nicole after accidentally hurting Pepper. He still has the scars.
"I heard that you were dating Phillipa. Did you think we wouldn't hear about it?" Nat asked, eyes ablaze.
Diego looked down at the floor, licking his dry lips. "Y-yeah," he stammered out. Well, so much for a show of confidence.
"You thought that Phillipa wouldn't tell her best friends that she was going out with the guy she's liked for nearly two years now?" Penny questioned, tilting her head.
"Wait, what?" Diego's eyes widened slightly. No. It couldn't be true. Could it?
"Never mind that," KiKi glared. "What are your intentions towards Phillipa?"
"Well, duh. I like her. A lot. So I'm just gonna play it by the ear, see if it works out," Diego answered, rolling his eyes.
"So you're not going to play her. To get one thing and then walk out?" Beth asked, eyebrow raised.
"Not a chance. I respect her too much to do that," Diego replied.
"As you should," a voice called. "Every man should respect his girl. If you wouldn't do it to your mother, don't do it to your girl, is what I say," Steve Rogers said. "Proud of you, Mr. Stark."
"Thank you, Captain Rogers, sir," Diego replied, cheeks the faintest of pinks.
"Um… Daddy? C-could you and Mom meet me in my room in about ten minutes please?" Penny asked nervously.
"Of course, sweetie. Ten minutes," Steve nodded and walked away, leaving a slight awkward silence in his wake.
"Um… can I go now?" Diego asked.
"Not yet. If you hurt Phillipa in any way-" Nat started.
"Even so much as make her cry-" Penny continued.
"We will find you-" KiKi continued on from Penny.
"And we will kill you." Beth finished, using her Asgard voice.
"You-" Nat.
"Can-" Penny.
"Not-" KiKi.
"Hide." Beth.
Diego gulped, sweating visibly as he backed away at Nat's signal. Damn if girls didn't scare him sometimes.
"NATALIE ELEANOR BARTON, DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND HIDE!" a female voice screeched. Natasha Romanov had found her daughter. And she wasn't happy.
Nat froze, eyes wide. There was only three things that scared her. The Hulk, high schoolers and her mother. Oh, Nat was so dead and she knew it. She was making up a will in her head as she made the walk of shame to the target range- where both her parents would be.
Natasha was shooting the shit out of a gun target that Nat suspected her mother had taped a photo of Nathan to. Clint was in the corner, working on a couple of arrows and his bow, glaring. Nat gulped.
"Мама? " Nat asked, falling into her mother's native tongue.
" Натали Элеонора Бартон, ты не думаешь, что я не узнаю о ваших отношениях?" Natasha asked, not looking at her daughter.
Nat winced. Still with her full name. This wasn't good. "Мама, я собираюсь вам рассказать. Просто ... После того как мы ... установленных лучше ... О, я не знаю! Мы собираемся рассказать вам просто не все же!"
Natasha finally looked at her daughter, eyes sad. She sighed, still speaking in her mother tongue. "Действительно ли я, что властный? То, что вы не можете сказать мне, что ты встречаешься?"
"Мне очень жаль, мама, это просто ... Вы точно не взять это хорошо, когда я рассказал вам о Lukas Когда я сделал это год в русской школе-интернате," Nat sighed. Natasha gave a small smile.
"Now that's cause he was a player and a pervert," she said, switching back to English. She looked up at her husband. "She's all yours, honey." Natasha hugged her daughter, pecked Clint on the cheek and left. Presumably to find a recruit and probably beat the shit out of them.
Clint put aside his bow and arrows aside. He stood and went to pull her daughter into a warm hug. Natasha and Nat may have been speaking in Russian but Clint had understood every word.
"I'm not gonna chew you out. Your mother did enough of that. All I will say, is that if you come to me cryin', and you say so much as 'Nathan', I will shoot that boy so full of arrows he'll look like a porcupine by the time I'm done, and that's before your mother gets to him," he said, smiling slightly, hugging Nat close.
"Daddy, I'm fifteen. I can take care of him myself. I mean, I am the daughter of two master assassins," Nat replied but she laughed anyway.
"You'll always be my little girl, sweetheart," Clint smiled in spite of himself.
Penny gulped slightly. She and Justin were in her room, waiting for their parents. The two were going to tell each other how they felt- hell, feel, about each other. Only problem was, Steve was an overprotective father, and he might go for Justin, causing Bruce to Hulk out and then Justin as well to try and calm his father down.
Penny's breath hitched when she heard four sets of footsteps and four voices.
"…is this about, Cap?"
"No idea, Doctor. Penny never said a thing to me."
"…you thinking what I am?"
"I bet you five bucks that it is, Joss."
"Betty, are you making bets again?"
"What? I'm speculating."
The door opened. Justin squeezed Penny's hand. Now. It was now or never and if Penny chickened out now their parents would never find out.
Steve automatically frowned at the two teenagers' intertwined hands. Bruce mirrored the frown whereas Betty smirked and Jocelyn groaned.
"Elizabeth Banner, I hate your guts," the seasoned former agent-slash-biochemist muttered.
"Of course you do, Jocelyn Rogers, but that doesn't stop you from making bets," Betty replied, grin.
Steve cleared his throat. "Now that the bet's been settled, would you tow care to explain why your hands are the way they are?" he asked, frowning deeper.
Penny's mouth had been open to explain but upon hearing her father's question, the confusion and unknown emotion- disappointment, maybe?- her entire explanation failed and her voice faltered.
"Captain Rogers, sir. I love your daughter. Very much, and she feels the same-" Justin started, but he was cut off.
"So you just decided to go behind my back and date her, without my permission?" Steve asked, definitely angry.
"With all due respect sir, I would have asked Penny out with or without permission. I realize and appreciate that you're from a different era, where they had a different way of doing things. But we're in the 21st Century now, sir. We do things very differently now," Justin calmly replied.
Penny hid her face, trying to avoid the anger and disappointment rolling off her father in waves and failing. Miserably.
"Steve. I can see how much Justin loves Penny. Tell me you won't try and sabotage their relationship?" Bruce asked, regarding his son with proud? eyes.
"Doctor, do you really think that little of me? As unhappy about this as I am, I would never hurt my daughter that way!" Steve replied, seemingly outraged.
Yeah, right.
Both Steve and Bruce burst out laughing, using each other as support for about five minutes.
Wiping his eyes and still chuckling, Steve stepped forward, holding his hand out. "Welcome to the family, son," he said before starting to squeeze Justin's hand harder, "but if you hurt my baby girl, I'll show you just what the serum can do," he growled lowly.
Bruce merely rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you said that to Tony when he was babysitting Penny while you were on a mission twelve years ago. She turned out fine."
"She had a broken arm cause she bungeed jumped off the top of the tower!" Steve protested.
"And we had New York hotdogs for dinner that night. The broken arm was from the guy whacking her with a stick on her last jump," Bruce monotoned. "Besides, Tony blasted him to high Hell and back for it."
While their husbands argued, Jocelyn handed some bills over to Betty. "I still hate you," she muttered.
"Of course you do, Joss. That's why you keep giving me your money," Betty smirked.
Later that evening, Natasha, Pepper, Darcy, Jane, Jocelyn, Betty and Maria were gathered in the gym for their weekly hangout. Wine bottles and glasses cluttered the edges of the room, cheesy 90's pop played softly over the stereo and laughter rang out through the room.
It was this scene that KiKi and Beth walked in on. They about to ask for… guidance, or help, or whatever, regarding getting Lady Sid Thorsward a Midgardian man.
Jane Thorswife looked over, hearing familiar whispering. "Uh-oh. Darce, I think we got trouble. Look," she grinned.
Darcy Lewis looked over at the door to see her daughter and goddaughter there, looking worried as hell. But then, that might be cause Natasha and Maria were beating the hell out of each other, or that Pepper and Jocelyn were beating the hell out of punching bags.
"Girls! What can we do for you?" Jane called over. She saw Beth let out a small breath- probably of relief.
"Hey, Mom, could we- uh. C-could we talk to you and the others, please?" Beth asked timidly.
Darcy gave a devilsh grin and she gave a piercingly shrill whistle. "Alright, girlies, listen up! KiKi and Beth got something to say!" she called to the now silent room.
Beth flushed a pretty rise pink, wringing her hands. "U-uh… you're all familiar with the Lady Sif of Asgard, yeah?" she asked. After murmured of assent, Beth continued. "W-well, Aunt Sif is lonely… and she can't get a man on Asgard. They're all scared of her and my dad."
"Which is why we're gonna show her how good Midgardian men can get. Find Mr. Right and you're set for life," KiKi followed on from Beth, grinning evilly as her mother was. "So, who's up for helping us?" she asked.
A/N: I apologize deeply for the amount of time between chapters. I was having a little trouble with a few of the characterizations of some of the characters.
I also lost my translations for Nat and Natasha's Russian conversation. Unfortunately, you'll have to find those out yourselves. I apologize deeply again.
RANDOM TITBIT OF MY LIFE: I dyed my hair blue. Also it's getting cut, and I have failed GCSE Maths three times running now.
