WADDUP FISHES!
I'm back (and broken record, dead), but hey that's not stopping me from moving forward!
I'm hoping I'm getting this out in time for Megamind's birthday, although technically since it's a morning after story you should be reading it on the 18
th ', '

A KNEE WHO, I'm so relieved to get this one out, and thank you to all my readers and commenters and those skimming by and those that maybe accidentally clicked on it and unintentionally didn't mean to read it but did anyway I THANK YOU ALL, it makes me less gloomy to see someone still reads through.

To the good stuff!


12/17/17

"Pleasantly Blue" or "Last Night"
Glitter and plushies and bruising oh my, Megamind wakes up in shambles without an ounce of recollection of last night. Minion tries to help him piece it together.

"Inspired by" songfic, no lyrics. Actually, the song has barely anything to do with the story anymore, this one developed into a whollup of a monster on it's own and turned a sharp right into cush cuddly fluffiness.
Warning, fluffiness.

Words:9762 (woo puppy)

Mood: Funny, silly, cute drunk Megamind, No, Megamind no, Stop, NO, MEGAMIND DON'T DO THATNO-

Characters: Megamind, Minion, Roxanne, Fillers (sorry fillers)

"Pleasantly Blue", 4 Non Blondes, Bigger, Better, Faster, More!


The first thing he feels is his stomach rolling. He's not sure if he's hungry, or needing to throw up really, really badly. Most likely both.

The second thing he feels is his head splitting in half. With the throbbing of each of his heartbeats there is a lightning bolt of pain striking his skull, from behind one ear crossing around the back of his head to the other, pulsating with each pump of his heart.

The third, is how it feels like he's dying. Truly dying. His heart races as if it will give out at any moment, since it's currently at 109 beats per minute. To the average human, that rate would be the result of an arbitrary exercise regimen, a brisk stroll through the park if you will.
However, being as the resting heartrate for the all-inclusive Megamind was clocked in at 36 beats per minute, it sure did feel like one hell of a heart attack.

He's having difficulty opening his eyes, feeling as if they've been glued shut somehow, and regardless of the strain he puts into it he feels his efforts are fruitless. They remain closed.

He listens intently, the gentle hum of electricity surging through the walls being the only familiar sound. He can feel the delicate caress of silk on his skin, the weight of a blanket or comforter pulled up to his chin and tucked underneath his right leg. His head feels to be at an elevated angle, his left leg hanging idly off the mattress with his booted foot planted firmly on the floor.

He racks his brain for any recollection of the previous night, any hint to his whereabouts or what led him to his current situation. Reaching up with nimble fingers the weight of gravity fights against his arm as he tries to feel his face, finally forcing his eyes open to view his surroundings.

There's an air of familiarity to the teal covers on the bed he's resting on, the lilac toned walls drawing nothing but a thoughtless blank from his mind. He turns his head as far as the angry little elf hammering away in his skull allows him to, coming face to face with a smiling whale shark on the pillow next to him.

He blinks for a few seconds, then decides to succumb to the welcoming call of deep slumber, letting his eyelids fall prey to the enticing lure of gravity when a booming WHAM from behind him makes him lose all sense of security, snapping his head quickly towards the source of the sound that sends a fresh blooming pain across his field of vision.

"What in the unholy hell?" he mutters to himself as he slowly looks over his shoulder again, finding his Minion hunched over a gym bag while leaning into a wall at the edge of the room.

"Sorry Sir, didn't mean to wake you," his connate says with a sheepish smile.

"Oh, that's quite alright Minion," Megamind assures him with a faint smile, a wave of relief flooding through the piscean.

Then their faces turn quite the opposite.

"You didn't wake me so much as GAVE ME A GOD DAMN HEART ATTACK YOU NIT!" Megamind angrily proclaims, somehow finding the strength to yank the covers over his head dramatically.

After a few moments of strained silence, he kicks the sheets off to find he's still fully clothed besides his belt buckle and right boot missing, and in something he does not recall having on when he left the lair last night.

"What the hell am I wearing?" he mutters to no one in particular, looking at the unfamiliar get up that's designed like most of his outfits except for the fact that there is a lot of buckles and straps on this suit, the boot he still has on embellished with spikes and silver engravings and what the holy shit are these flaps on my arms for?! he thinks to himself, lifting his arms and gazing at the fabric stretched from his wrists to his ribcage.

Puzzled through the fog in his mind, he moves his legs over the edge of the bed as gingerly as he can muster, lying flat on his back just a second longer before hoisting himself up off the bed and to the floor stand mirror nearby, Minion taking a few steps into the room to rest the gym bag on the mattress.

"You should rest Sir. You had, quite the long night yesterday," Minion says objectively, eyeing Megamind as he attempts to hobble painstakingly slow towards the mirror. A solid minute of hobbling and he hasn't moved any closer to the mirror, each step hindered by a crippling cramp through his calves and a hiss of pain from breathing in too deeply.

"Yeah, with all that drinking I'm surprised you even woke up! We were so worried about you Miss Ritchie decided to cut early and head here to her apartment instead of trying to make it back to the lair-"

"Wait, her place? -" is all Megamind is able to interject when the sudden feeling of his ribs imploding on themselves sucks all the air out of his lungs.

Having reached the mirror he can finally assess the damage; heavy bags hang from underneath bloodshot eyes, a swelling bruise across his right temple that's stretched around the back of his head. He's pretty sure the ghost of dried blood on his lips and the crooked touch to his nose come from the same incident.

He tries to lean into the mirror to take a closer look but the stabbing pain in his side stops him with a halt, having him straighten out and reach lamely for the clasp opening resting on his neck.

After a few twitching struggles Minion steps behind his ward to help with lowering the zipper on his back, turning Megamind around to grab a hold of his suit by the wrists. The moment the suit arms slip off his elbows comes a flourish of glitter and cherry stems, as well as a drawn-out gasp from Minion eyeing his right side.

With a slow turn, he looks over his shoulder first as his body slowly rotates in the same direction; a tender purplish green bruise is spread across his right ribcage, from his waist all the way up to the edge of his pectoral.

"M-Minion. What the HELL in Hades name happened last night?" he asks calmly.
Well, as calmly as his face can muster stoically.

Minion eyes him wearily, robotic fingers tapping together as he struggles to meet his glare with a wry smile.

"Well, Sir, it was a pretty long night."


)-(

"Which! Nobody can de-ny!" Was sung loudly and very clearly throughout the expanse of the French restaurant, a crowd of waiters and kitchen staff eagerly shifting around the corner booth to congratulate and give their best wishes to their blue defender before they cleared out the table and left the group to head to their stations.

Hiding behind his glass of wine with an embarrassed smile, Megamind fanned a hand towards Roxanne while a creeping blush bloomed on his cheeks. "You know you two didn't have to go through all this trouble for today," he said while lifting his glass to his lips and nervously re-arranging the table setting. Again.

"WHAT?" came simultaneously from across the table causing Megamind to cough into his drink. Good thing he didn't actually swallow yet.

"Honey, it's your Birthday, of course we're making a big deal out of it. And look, we even got you a few things," Roxanne said, nudging Minion to lift his arms from beneath the table.

From seemingly nowhere Minion raised his hands to reveal three gifts wrapped in silver foil and cerulean ribbon; a flat card the size of a check, a box smaller than his closed fist, and a sizeable cube Roxanne had to make room for on their table as to not push any of the dishes off onto the floor.

Megamind eagerly eyed the largest of the three, straining to keep his eyes from constantly attacking the box. He kept himself in a cool composure as he slyly reached for the card first, making slow deliberate movements to not make it obvious he was itching to tear apart all his gifts at once (not obvious, totally not, look, cool as a pickle).

The first one was a certificate from Minion to the outlet store in Romania that Megamind still received basic supplies and equipment from for research purposes.

Yeah, strictly research.

With a soft "thank you" to Minion, he blindly reached for the large box next only to have Roxanne shove the smaller one into his open hand, drawing a scowl from Megamind and a smug grin from her.

Leaning into the booth with an exaggerated pout, he delicately pulled the ribbon and foil to reveal a cardboard box decorated with the familiar Starfleet insignia.

Giving the rest of the foil a quick yank, he turned over the box to find a peek in window, allowing him to see the inside holding a small tumbler glass, just big enough to hold a few sips of a drink.

The U.S.S. Enterprise was decorating one side, and on the other a still shot of Kirk with one hand raised over his head took up the entirety of the glass, "Beam me up, Scotty!" lettered underneath the picture.

"I thought you'd get a kick out of it, otherwise I would've kept it for myself," Roxanne said with a smile.

"You know Kirk never said that in any of the episodes, right?" Megamind asked with his own smile, and she responded with a giggling nod, "Yeah, and Vader never said 'Luke'."

"That's a dirty lie and you know it!" Megamind cut in with an accusing finger towards her, both holding their breath before letting out dual bellows of laughter.

Momentarily distracted, Megamind perked back up at the sight of the large gift being slowly pushed towards his side of the table, almost bouncing out of his seat from excitement himself. The moment the box reached his grasp he tore into the wrapper and flipped the flaps of the non-descriptive cardboard box.

His face stilled when he peered inside, his lips forming a small "oh" as he slowed his movements while staring into the contents.

Both Roxanne and Minion had a hard time deciphering if his pasted smile was from sheer over excitement or dejection. She had a strained smile herself, flickering her eyes towards Minion who seemed to be sharing her same thoughts, if his cloned smile of hers was anything to go by.

Roxanne spoke from the corner of her mouth, reaching a hand out towards Megamind's arm. "Megamind? Honey, you okay? If, if you don't like it-"

"Like it? How," he whispered, jumping up suddenly as he yanked out the contents high in the air and raising his voice a few volumes startling their half of the restaurant, Roxanne snapping her hand back in a blink of surprise.

"ILOVEITHOW'DYOUKNOW ohmyword-" and he ran off towards the direction of the restrooms, Minion jumping in a quick, "Sir! Don't forget your boots!"

"THERE'S BOOTS?!" Megamind continued to speak as far from an inside voice one could get while at a candlelit dinner.

He leaned over the box and pulled out a pair of leather platform boots, straps and buckles that went well beyond the knees that accompanied the suit he had draped over his arms. He ran off with a blur of silvers and blues over leather to the men's room, nearly knocking over a maître d' along the way.

Roxanne turned to Minion with an amused look of disbelief, both of them glad from the sudden reaction to the gift.

"I think he likes it," she said with a smile, Minion replying "Of course he does. He might have an opinion or two to share about their "music", but when it comes to showmanship no one has better stage presence than KISS. I just hope he doesn't mind the-"

"IT HAS WINGS TOO!" Suddenly came from the opposite end of the building, assumptions leaning towards the restrooms.

"Yeah, I don't think he minds," said Roxanne, smiling into her glass of wine.


)-(

"I remember that much, it's what happened afterwards I'm lost about."

"Well," Minion works up, his fingers tapping restlessly against each other.

"Remember how we stopped by Fry's that one time for the fiber optic cables? And you got to talking with Mike?"

Taking the lack of response from Megamind as a queue to keep going, Minion does. "And he mentioned bar hopping, and you said you always wanted to head to Pub Fiction and he mentioned how a friend of his works there-"

"Minion. Get to the point."

Minion coughs nervously, his arms swinging by his sides.

"Well…"


)-(

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" came from nearly every corner of the pub as hands holding glasses that were raised in the air were brought down to meet lips, Megamind placing his glass down sharply on the wooden table with a lopsided smile as the group he was with each gave him their own form of congratulations.

"Sir, you sure you don't want to, slow down? You seem to be taking an awful lot of those so closely together…"

"Nonsense my dear filet mignon! These creamy little concoctions don't mean any harm!" Megamind rebutted with a shake of the little glass tumbler, knocking it over to roll around the surface when failing to set it down properly.

"Minion is right, Megs. Just because you can't taste it doesn't mean the alcohol isn't there," Roxanne warned while gazing over the sea of glasses already accumulated on the table.

"How, many of those are yours anyway?"

With a gaze of intense focus he shot his arm out towards the table, dividing the score of glasses sloppily in half and pulling the ending result towards himself.

"You drank THAT many already? HOW? We LITERALLY just walked in, not even ten minutes ago!"

"That's our bad, ma'am, we each promised him a round for his birthday," responded the man closest to Megamind, fidgeting with the end of his Star Wars shirt.

Megamind clapped him on the shoulder, bringing him in with a sideways hug while fanning Roxanne off with a weak wrist.
"No apologies Mike, 's no big deal. These little thingies aren't so bad, the-, what'd you say they're called?"

A mop-haired guy next to Mike replied with an adjustment of his glasses, "I believe they're called 'buttery nipples' mister Megamind, Sir."

In mid nod of agreement, he stopped with a sudden look of shock and flung his arms over his chest as his hands cupped his pectorals, a stricken look of shock and offense stretched across his face.

"Why, I have never!"

Roxanne smacked his hands from his chest with a roll of her eyes. "Just keep yourself situated while I get us some water, will you?"

He shifted on his feet, dropping to the seat under him with a pout. "You're just jealous because he didn't compliment your nipples."

The smile she was biting back burst into a wide grin as she lightly tapped the back of her hand once over Minion's furry shoulder, he himself distracted by a comic held face high. Which of course ended up being slapped at light speed across the table's surface.

"Keep an eye on him for me?"

"Of course Miss Ritchie," he assured her with a smile, turning his attention to his ward, who was stacking the shot glasses into various pyramids.

With a lighthearted sigh, he rolled his eyes away from Sir towards the group that welcomed them to the bar, all of which were lead in by Mike.

"Thanks again for bringing us out tonight. I, know Sir can be a handful, so apologies ahe-"

"No! No-no, the thanks is ours, please!" Mike cut in with an eager wave of his hand.

"I mean, it's not every day we get to celebrate our defender's birthday!" he continued as the group nodded in simultaneous agreement, everyone turning to face Megamind, who was laughing at a knocked over pyramid.

"Although, we should probably be apologizing to you. I didn't realize the alcohol would get to him so fast-"

"Nah, it's no big deal. These shots are weaker than wine when it comes to the A.B.V. What gets him is the sugar."

A sharp stream of clinking sounds made everyone turn to Megamind who was stacking and unstacking the shot glasses in various patterns and heights, ending with four stacks of three glasses and slapping both palms on the tabletop as he shouted "Time!".

"Sir, no one's keeping time," Minion pointed out lamely.

Megamind had a dazed look of surprise as he returned his attention to the glasses.

"Sometimes his body doesn't know what to do with all that energy. It gets a little hard to keep track of him buzzed and hyped up."

A tap of his glass returned his attention back to Sir, sitting at the edge of the table with his arms crossed flatly against his chest.

"I'm bored."

"Here," the alien fish responded with a toss of the comic book towards his partners blue hands. "Read this."

Satisfied with Sir distracted on trying to figure out which way was up, he turned back to his four hosts sitting across from him clustered on the other end of the square table. The smallest of the group, a young woman with a grape colored pixie cut (who from introduction Minion found out was the one who worked there), laughed at the sight and turned to Mike.

"Reminds me of the time Georgie boy here got too giddy on the tequila," she cajoled with an elbow towards the mop-haired gentleman between them, the man (Minion assumed was Georgie) blushing a furious scarlet.

"Which one?" Mike replied with an elbow into Georgie's other side, the group laughing together when a loud slap of paper against the table top drew their attention back to Megamind.

"Done."

Trying to buy more time for distraction, Minion placed the comic back into Sir's hands, looking around eagerly before eyeing a shelf a couple of tables behind them lining the entirety of the bar's wall. "Why don't you, see if there's anything else up for grabs over there? I heard a rumor they have a first edition of Fantastic Four somewhere in there."

Minion breathed a sigh of relief when Sir's eyes lit up with excitement.

"You mean the one where they fight the Mole Man? Why didn't you say so earlier!" The smaller alien said as he sprinted towards the comic shelf, going through each sleeve and taking in the contents of each magazine in a matter of seconds.

"Well shit," laughed the purple haired woman, "he's practically inhaling those books."

"Yeah-, he can scan a page at 25 hundred words a minute. And that's when he's not on a sugar high."

"Yeah, no, George fell of an electric bull before they even turned it on," Mike replied, drawing more laughter from the group.

From across the table sat a man with a clean-shaven head and a soft brown goatee, quick to point out, "Hey, don't blame him, he's not the fastest in the league sober either. Took him a while before he realized checkers and chess are not the same game."

"You're one to talk, Cruz, we had to go three rounds of one-on-one before we could end the game right because you kept misspelling H.O.R.S.E." George rebutted, Mike raising his hand to share a high-five.

From behind Cruz came Roxanne balancing six glasses of iced water in her arms, swiftly placing them down on the table without a spill.

"Well Miss Ritchie, you sure do have a talent for a balancing act," Minion couldn't help to say with surprise.

"Yep. A year of waiting tables forces you to learn how to utilize body parts you never knew you could balance things on."

"Wait, you waitressed? I don't recall ever seeing that in any of your files," responded Minion in disbelief.

Roxanne simply shrugged her shoulder. "Kept it off the books, back when I was struggling to make ends meet while in school. Not easy interning without any income, y'know? Boss thought it would be easier on both of us to keep it under the table, out of sight out of mind."

"Speaking of which," she muttered, eyeing everyone around the table, starting and ending with Minion before taking a glance underneath the table.

"Minion. Where's, Megamind?"

The pisceans face fell as he swam around in his bowl to look behind the suit, everyone else moving in their seats to shoot a rapid glace at the empty spot where Sir had been mere moments before rampaging through the book shelf. All that remained were piles of graphics and paperbacks stacked in various neat piles on the floor.

"Fish sticks."

"Trish, why didn't you say anything?" Mike called out offensively.

"Me?!" she exclaimed, raising a finger towards Cruz. "If anything it's his fault, he's got clear view of the shelf!".

Cruz held a distant gaze over everyone's head, blinking out of his blank expression with a "Huh?".

"Just, come on," groaned Trish, standing with a shove of her chair as everyone followed suit, Roxanne long gone into the maze of Tv's and arcade machines that took over the other half of the building.

It didn't take long for them to track down the only blue man in a full leather-and-metal outfit. All they had to do was follow the steady smacking of plastic buttons accompanied by the occasional thwump.

Turning around the corner of a Galaga machine, the group found their defender hunched over a game of Stacker, punching down the machines button to stack the boxes faster than the computer could process its "woo-hoo!" sound efficiently as he made his way to the top flawlessly. He stared at the screen intently with unbroken focus as his mouth worked around a twizzler hanging from his lips.

They weren't staring at his seamless stride at pulling yet another top tier prize, it was the fact that the unused pool table behind him was already littered with claimed prizes from the machine, which was now well on its way of being emptied out.

He let out a satisfied grunt as something from one of the top prize prongs dropped to the claim box, bending over to reach through the receiving flap and turning around with a smug grin plastered across his face when he looked up to see Roxanne and the group standing right behind him. His girlfriend and brother with not-so-entertained expressions on their faces.

He clutched the blue prize (of course) tightly to his chest, his grin dropping faster than the twizzler could meet the floor. "Megamind," she said sternly, eyeing the prizes on the pool table everyone else already seemed to be combing through before turning her attention back to him.

"What, what're you doing?"

He shifted nervously from one foot to the other, his fingers working on the soft felt of whatever it was in his hands while his eyes darted everywhere but to her. Shooting his arms out towards her he held the plush item at eye level where she could finally see it was a teddy be-

"A, whale shark?" she asked.

He nodded eagerly and turned it over in his hands so she could see the other side, a hard plastic covering its back with star cutouts in the molding itself.

"I know you think sharks are cute, and this one doubles as a night light by shining stars on the ceiling, and I thought of you because you like to sleep with the bathroom light on, and-" he stopped himself short, lowering his eyes to stare at their feet.

She took the plush in both hands gently, leaning over to place a kiss on his ridiculously considerate nose.

"Love, we're supposed to out here celebrating your birthday, it's supposed to be about you. You shouldn't be giving me gifts."

She stepped aside between him and Minion, looking over the mess their group was making out of the cheap electronics, plushes and nickel toys strewn across the green velvet.

"And why is the pool table covered in those?"

He laughed nervously, an index finger working an itch on his chin.

"Eh, heh, ah. They were in the way."

She rolled her eyes away from him and towards the shark in her arms as he went off. "But you wouldn't know how surprisingly easy it was to get them all! I mean, sure there's a glitch where only after every fifth play does ALL the lights come on but all you have to do is give it a kick for every third button press and why are you laughing?" he stopped to ask with a confused frown, Roxanne smiling into the plush with a restrained giggle.

"Nothing, nothing, just. You."

He still held his head with a tilt as she ran her hand over his head with an affectionate rub, dropping her arm over his shoulders.

"Let's figure out what to do with this mess, and then we're getting you water, mister."


)-(

"That doesn't seem so bad," Megamind says with a shrug, sitting on the edge of the bed with a towel underneath him to catch the stray debris he shook off.

"And then we got kicked out," Minion says blatantly.

With a coughed snort, Megamind looks up to him with a dubious squint.

"What, are you talking about, how?!"


)-(

"Getting a little timid here. I'm aching to start a fight with some jocks, you guys in for a last round?" Mike mentioned as everyone finished the last of their drinks and waters.

They stood from the table and walked to the bar to close off their separate tabs, each taking turns arguing who got to cover which tab and no one really paying any mind to the guest of honor.

Until a bubbling mess of hot foam started creeping over the bar and everyone turned towards the evil genius laughing besides them while holding a set of display beakers foaming over everywhere.

"Nobody light a match. This stuff is flammable," is all he said through fits of giggles.


)-(

"Well shit. Do we owe them for any damages?" Megamind asks with an apologetic smile.

Minion quickly waves a hand, attempting to fan away Sir's worries. "The guy was incredibly cool about it, I mean I know it was tempting for you to resist the miniature chemistry set they had on display on the counter. Although he couldn't figure out why they had thirty volume developer and yeast at the bar, something about how Trish needs to stop doing her hair in the back on her days off and another waiter of theirs sometimes tries to make bread. Tries."

Megamind has a blank "oh" of understanding, his head nodding limply.

"There wasn't any damage done really, but the guy said kicking you out was more of a show. He figured we didn't want to be around when the cops showed up, since someone called them. Which was considerate of him considering what happened at the next place."

"What happened at the next place?" Megamind questions with a frown.


)-(

"Alright, who do I get to apricot first?" Megamind declared when his feet landed inside the bar doors, fists rolling in a sloppy Popeye stance.

The group of geeks shifted on their feet uncomfortably, Cruz breaking out in a whistle suddenly interested in the brick wall, Mike rubbing a hand behind his neck as he spoke out.

"Megamind? I was joking about the whole, 'starting a fight' thing. It's an inside joke, a code we use when we want to head out to a sports bar."

Looking deflated, Megamind nodded his head in understanding, lowering his fists to his side. "So, just a code between you guys? No fighting?"

"No fighting," he assured.

Megamind looked minutely upset, but soon sprung back with a smile. "Hey, at least we don't have to deal with any dunderheads while we're here."

The group seemed to visibly sigh in relief as a whole, Mike giving a smiling nod himself as he pat Megamind on the shoulder and took the group in to their seats.

Megamind smiled as they passed by, leaning his head back to direct a whisper over towards his brother.

"Minion. Why didn't they say 'code' when declaring the order to come here?"

"Sir, I believe it's in their secret language to not mention 'code'".

"But that's preposterous. How would they know it's code?" Megamind questioned, raising his hands and arms up in an overdramatized shrug as they followed behind the others.

Having settled around a standing table with their drinks in hand (Megamind being denied any alcohol and instead settling on a Shirley temple with the condition that it included a speared cherry), they were well in the middle of a Jenga game George had found off on the side, a round of truth or dare stamped on each brick distracting them.

Cruz was sitting on Mike's lap for the round, and Megamind had attempted to blow a raspberry on Minion's gorilla suit when Roxanne knocked over the stack with her pull, ending the game with a crash and laughter from the table.

She stood to head to the bar and close off what they had left opened when Minion gently placed his hand over her shoulder to stop her.

"I'll go on and check the tab, after the way I ended up losing him in the last place it might be best you just wait here with Sir," he clarified with a small smile as he walked away towards the registers.

After a few minutes of waiting on the bartender and finally having closed their tab, the sound of shouting and a smashed glass made Minion turn around in time to see someone do a somersault over a table and Sir take a shot from a drink before throwing the glass towards a group of men surrounding him, body slamming into one of them as the others joined in his defense.

His hands flying to grip his dome in a panic, he couldn't help but gape at the chaotic mess; bodies flying over one another as Trish threw a stray punch connecting with the jaw of one of the men in a jersey and Cruz clearing a table with another.

"I was gone for just two minutes! LITERALLY two!"

After a few people (but mainly Minion) pulled the fighters apart and the group rejoined at the entrance, Mike tried to clarify what happened as they pulled on their jackets to head out into the winter evening once more.

"Some guy bumped into Megamind and knocked over his drink. He was upset he dropped his cherry before he could take a bite out of it, demanded the jock buy another. One thing led to another, insults were tossed around and-"

"CHEESE IT!" Megamind yelled while running through the group and bursting out the front door, a slow growing growl from a crowd behind them rushing them to put their coats on faster and bolting out through the door after him.

-
They walked along the streets towards the next place they had in mind, Cruz mentioning the open mic and small stage set up in the underground bar would make it a fun deal. It wasn't until they rounded a corner did someone turn back to gaze over the group and did a double take behind them.

"Wha-, where the hell did he get that?!" Trish exclaimed with a raised finger.

Everyone turning behind to look at whoever was in the back noticed Megamind walking up to them with a surplus sized jar of maraschino cherries held in one arm, the other taking a bite of a cherry and popping the stray stem into his suit.

"What the hell, where did you get that? Did you, DID YOU TAKE IT FROM THE BAR?" Exclaimed Roxanne with a frantic wave of her free arm that wasn't tucked into herself for warmth.

"Sir, why are you putting the cherry stems into your suit?" Minion asked with curiosity.

Clearing out his red dye stained mouth from the other cherries he had quickly popped in, he tucked the stems into the slip of his neck and eyed them all with confusion, as if the answer was clear enough.

"I don't wanna leave a trail for th' bartender t' follow us, 'f course."


)-(

Megamind slits his eyes towards Minion, his mouth strained in a small puckered pout while he holds an outstretched hand towards his direction as a silent question.

"I dunno Sir, drunk logic?" Minion shrugs.


)-(

They had fought with Megamind to get rid of the rest of the cherries, seeing as the bouncer at the next bar wouldn't let them in with the jar, as well as they didn't want him reaching his peak sugar high again.

Once inside the group had separated in different directions, Cruz leading way towards the stage to make a selection over who got to sing next, Mike and George heading to the bar and Minion standing beside Roxanne at a table not far from everyone else, Megamind pouting frustratingly the entire time.

Over on the small makeshift stage that took up a corner of the bar stood Trish flubbing a few bars of "I love rock and roll" as a few people stood around to watch the spectacle, clapping along to the rhythm and swaying loosely into each other.

Back by the table Roxanne and Minion couldn't help but stare at Megamind, concerned looks on their faces as they both noticed his odd behavior once the singing started.

He was muttering to himself, arms crossed and one hand fisted over his mouth as he continued his one sided conversation no one else could hear.

"Sir?"

"Honey, what's wro-"

And without warning he tucked into himself, dropping immediately to the glossy (and not very clean looking bar floor) as he started rolling around the floor with a look of determination.

"Megs, no, stop it, honey get, get up, what-are-you-even," Roxanne begs, hands held out to her sides palm up. She bites back a laugh as she watches her boyfriend roll around the bar floor, not sure of what the hell was in that last drink he shot.

"Megamind! What. Are. You. Do-ing?" She asks sternly, trying her dammest not to give in to his goof.

He stopped abruptly on his side, looked over his shoulder towards her feigning innocence as he calmly replied "I'm doing rock and roll."

She deadpanned him, her hands still held out to her sides as she dropped one to her waist and raised the other to pinch the bridge of her nose, not being able to control the rolling laughter bubbling up her chest.

Megamind looked as confused as ever, standing up and dusting himself off as he marched towards the bar, Roxanne folding over herself as tears blurred her vision.

Following closely behind, Minion hovered over Megamind briefly while turning over in his suit to make sure Miss Ritchie was okay behind them, stray claps here and there filling in the noise of the bar as Trish had finished up the last of the lyrics with a leg split.

Or an attempt of one, by the looks of the face she made.

Minion turned back in time to see Megamind gulp a beverage down and reach eagerly for the spare microphone next.


)-(

"Wait. Stop right there. Minion, are you telling me that I sang? Karaoke? As in, I actually grabbed the mike and sang from the bar-"

"Actually Sir, you got on stage."

"…You're SHITTING me."

"Uh, no, Sir? I'm pretty sure that's physiologically impossible-"

"Minion, I could NOT have been that drunk to walk away from the bar and perform in front of an audience!"

"Sir, you were so drunk you started booing yourself after messing up the first three lines of 'Don't Stop Believing' and by then Miss Ritchie and I were over each other trying to get you down."

Megamind holds a fisted hand to his mouth, tight with disbelief.

"Journey?" he whispers, hoping against hope he heard Minion wrong.

Minion dead eyes him with a solemn nod, making him throw his hands in the air with a yelp of denial.

"Yes! Of course! And then?!" he asks, waiting for Minion to list any other disturbances he might've caused for the night.

"Well, while we were passing underneath a Marquee you thought it hilarious to change the sign to 'whale baculum'. No one got it except for George, who so happens to be a Marine Biologist."

Megamind snorts with a chuckle, biting back a grin.

"You also somehow disappeared into a ball-pit at another club, I have no idea who thought it would be smart to have a ball-pit of all things near alcohol. We pulled you out as you pummeled us with plastic balls, and no one really knew how you got your hands on eyeliner."

"I wasn't done up by then? I'm surprised I went that long without it," Megamind said dismissively, pulling his pinkie along the inside of his tear duct to clear it.

"I mean everything was going well," Minion continued. "Until you tried to prove to someone you could play darts without looking."

"Because I can," Megamind states with his eyebrows furrowed as he drops his hand and ever so slightly raises his nose in the air. "What's wrong with that?"


)-(

"Megamind you can't cover your eyes with your hand while playing darts," Roxanne griped while he balanced a dart by its needle on his finger.

"Sure I can, watch."

He tossed the dart in the air, making a swift catch and throwing in full speed towards a cork board across the bar, one hand planted firmly over his eyes the entire time.

"YOOOOO," someone yelled out from behind them, a lone pumping fist raised in the sea of heads the only thing they could see from the person.

"Do, do that again!" the slurring voice cheered with a sluggish wave, making Megamind smile with all the confidence his drinks have given him.

With a cocky grin, he proceeded to lift his hand again to cover his eyes, Roxanne slapping the other hand as he tried to grasp for another dart. With grunts and pouts he managed to snag another metal and plastic needle to throw towards the board, this one landing much closer to the center bullseye.

Catching the attention of a few passerby's, he continued his performance of showmanship with multiple darts and various methods of blinding himself, one after another the darts seamlessly reaching the end target.

That is, until the owner of the lone fist clapped Megamind on his shoulder just as he was in mid throw with the latest dart, making a clean path towards their group standing against the wall and planting firmly into one of their knees.

Over the hollering their friend was giving out, everyone around Megamind stared in disbelieving horror as the fist pumping instigator leaned into his ear to whisper "Double or nothing says you can't do that again."

And Megamind responded with a sly smile and a twirl of the next dart in his hand.


)-(

Palm planted firmly on his face, he mutters around his hand, "So then?"

"Well," Minion looks off to the side, his fingers never ceasing their tap dance, "You proved that kid wrong, but George didn't want to hang out with us anymore after having a second dart lodged into his knee."

Megamind drags his hand down his face, pulling eyelids and both cheeks along when he stops midway with a thoughtful pause.

"That was George? I thought George was the one with the shaved head?"

"No no, that's Cruz. George had the glasses and the moppy hair."

"I thought that was Mike."

"Mike had glasses too, but also had the R2-D2 shirt- Wait, no, besides the point, you stabbed Mike's friend. Twice. You better find yourself lucky they had all claimed it was the best night ever just moments before."

Megamind slits his eyes with doubt.

"Why?"

"Well. We, uh, were about to leave a dance-club in lower midtown when you walked by a confetti cannon. They were getting them prepped up for New Year's. You thought it was for your birthday," Minion clarified with a sheepish grin.

"There was glitter and balloons everywhere."

Megamind simply nodded in understanding, connecting the dots to where the glittery mess inside his suit had spontaneously appeared from.

He rested himself on the edge of the bed to secure a grip on the remaining boot, struggling to give it a yank off with half of the buckles still tightly strapped. Giving a forcible yank he threw it carelessly over shoulder and stared at his exposed feet with contemplation.

"What, happened to my other boot?"


)-(

"Minion, he's starting to become dead weight and I'm not sure if it's on purpose," Roxanne groaned with the struggle of keeping a sagging Megamind from dragging more than just his feet across the pavement.

"We should be heading back to the Lair and get him into bed soon," Minion voiced with worriment as he looked around the emptying streets. "What time is it?" he asked.

Roxanne lifted Megamind's dead arm to look at his watch, dropping it back on his side with a limp. "Time to get his sorry butt out of the cold. Minion, can you, ngh, take him while I try to get us a taxi? I have no idea where he's getting the extra weight from."

Motioning with his open arms to take over Megamind's limp body, Roxanne walked over to the curb as Minion held the blue man up in a standing position, bringing him back into consciousness without the notice from either of his caretakers.

Roxanne backed from the approaching vehicle and leaned into the window to speak with the cabbie, when the back passenger door flew open to Megamind trying to scramble into the back seat.

Startled, the cab driver sped off into the downtown grid as Megamind ran behind it, stumbling to a stop and struggling to take off his right platform boot.

"Racist!" He yelled, chunking the boot as far into the night as he could before taking off running after it again, having his ward and girlfriend trail after him once more.


)-(

"I, vaguely remember hot-dogs somewhere in there. Was that before or after?" Megamind asks through the open bathroom door, warm water running as he scrubs furiously at the glittery foam refusing to dislodge from underneath his nails.


)-(

Hobbling up to a lone hot-dog vendor with a limp Megamind being dragged by Minions arms, Roxanne fumbled through her purse to get enough change for a few franks.

"Oh, that's where he got the eyeliner from," she muttered to herself. "How the hell...?"

Minion was startled to a jolt when Megamind's body jerked forward in an attempt to faceplant the pavement and the poor ichthyoid raced against his instincts to hold him in place.

"I, believe that he's had one too many, ma'am," the middle-aged man said behind the steam well of the cart as Roxanne handed over the mess of cash she managed to fish out of her purse.

"Yeah, and I believe you're correct," she replied with a slight, thanking him for stating the obvious.

"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!" Megamind suddenly shouted loud enough to startle everyone to a jump and Minion to let go of him slightly through mental shock, the blue man lunging forward to a bank of snow they stood next to and landing face first into the frozen pile of water with a soft crunch of ice against ice.

With an inward sigh, Roxanne turned her attention back to the cart man and asked Minion to "go make sure he's okay."

A few shuffling steps forward and Megamind started to give a few struggled and weak attempts to move his limbs to create a snow angel, muffled sounds that sounded like singing coming from his face buried into the frost.

"Doe thof, eh meee wen. Ho don oo ah eeyay-yeah."

Minion lifted Megamind who was in the middle of giving a swaying jerk with his limbs and butt in an attempt to dance in the air as his singing slowly turned into hollering, his eyes remaining closed the entire time.

"Streetlight, peoplOH-AH-OOOWOAAAAAH!"

Standing behind the gorilla robot suit holding the singing alien up in mid-air, Roxanne took another deep breath with a slow head shake, arms full of foil wrapped hot-dogs.


)-(

"That was before, because we couldn't keep up with you until you slipped on a patch of ice and landed on your face. Then we agreed to get some food after spotting it just around the corner," Minion replies. "Consider yourself lucky the group had split before then, otherwise you'd never hear the end about your fascination with Journey. Hearing it once out of you was enough."

Having cleared himself of most of the glittery mess and combed through for any stray cherry stems, he shakes himself out of his birthday suit, the leather one, and makes his way sluggishly towards the gym bag propped on the bed in search for fresh clothing.

He has to stop for a moment, since the stabbing pain is back on his side like a stuck splinter.

"Okay," he breathes, turning to face Minion as he sits on the mattress to ease the pain.

"What was the grand finale?"

Minion's eyes dart from his brothers to the blooming bruise on his torso, and back up to meet his eyes.

"How do I put this gently-"


)-(

"Where. Is. HE."

Elbowing her way through a crowd inside a balcony bar, Roxanne raged with fuming anger.

"I knew we should've followed him in, 'I need to pee' my ass, when I get my hands on his skinny neck-"

They burst through the trickle of people milling around on the inside, multiple levels dedicated to outdoor seating and even through the horrid winter blizzard there was still patrons sitting out underneath heating lamps.

Which is where they heard the chanting coming from.

"-lord, o-ver-lord, o-ver-lord-"

"No, nonono what is he up to NO," Roxanne rushed through people standing shoulder to shoulder blocking the French doors, eager to join the chanting outside.

Making way through the doors she scanned the patio in hopes to eye her blue idiot of a boyfriend, but no such luck to find the leather and metal dressed alien.

Both she and Minion did however notice everyone staring up to the roof, pointing and cheering on to whatever was going on behind them, and they were terrified of turning around.

Up there through the snow fall and the strings of patio lights they saw Megamind standing on the edge, one of the light strings gripped firmly in one hand and the other waving eagerly to the awaiting crowd below him when he spotted them and pointed down with barely restrained excitement.

"Hey, hehehey! There, so-see th-at, th'rs Minion, th' mos fan-tatical fish any dominering ov'r lord could as for. 'N there, th'rs my girl-fren, the fabulous Rossane Ritchie, th' mos amazin' woman 'n th' worl'."

"Shit," they both muttered, realizing someone had given him more alcohol by the time they had found him.

"Honey," Roxanne called out with worry, "However you got yourself up there, could you please come down the same way?"

"Don' worry Rossane, deese wing thingies shul give me 'nough resist'nce to glide righ ov'r da crowd,"

"No, Megamind, sweetheart that's not what they're meant for-"

"Sir, could you please-"

"I'm coming down!" Megamind called out, firming his grip with both hands on the string of lights before adjusting his footing on the edge of the roof.

"Megamind NO!"

"SIR!"

"BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!" He called out one last time, giving a crouched jump to his guardian's horror down below and leaping off the roof.

They both held their breath as they watched him reach the end of the string and using the full momentum carried himself to the railing at the end of the patio they stood on.

Both Roxanne and Minion nearly died when his feet planted firmly on the guardrail and he turned around with an elaborate swing of his free arm, balancing on the thin bar and continuing to show off by bowing deeply in their direction.

"Minion we have to get him before he hurts himself. Again," Roxanne said as she started to make way towards the end of the patio.

One hand gripping firmly on the string lights, the other pumping up and down furiously, his face was turned away from the cheering crowd when someone shouted out "GIVE THAT MAN A BEER!". He turned towards the voice, letting go of the string of lights and raising his hand in expectation of a drink.

Instead an unopened can of beer was lobbed from the other direction, straight into his right temple, making him loose his balance.

And Megamind tipped over backwards, fate making sure his ribs hit every railing on the way down.


)-(

"And then we hauled your unconscious body back here."

Dragging his hands down his face (seeming to be his favorite show of frustration), Megamind is joking when he asks, "And that wasn't the end of it, was it?"

Minion isn't when he responds "You leaned over Miss Ritchie's banister and threw up all over the kitchen."

Megamind turns around, hands still on his face, a look of unbelieving horror.

"No."

"Yes."

"NO."

"YES," Minion assures him sternly, motioning with his head rolling towards the rail for his hungover brother to take a look himself.

Megamind's hands never leave his face when he finally leans over the railing; in fact they curl themselves over his mouth to hold back the shock and disappointment in himself.

"You missed a spot," is all he's able to whisper after finding his voice, Minion joining him to look over the banister and seeing the area his arms did not reach when giving a wipe-down.

"Darn."

Hand inching away from his mouth towards his forehead, he tries to massage the night away while muttering "I'm never drinking again" under his breath.

"But Sir, you need to at least take in some water every once in a while," Minion says with apprehension, and for a second Megamind can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not, eyeing him with a squint under his massaging hand.

They hear the footsteps come up before they can mentally prepare themselves for the backlash they both will soon be receiving. Even Minion is in the middle of reeling into the protection of his suit when he remembers he's not the one that threw up everywhere last night.

That still doesn't make it any less scary that she's on her way up.

Before Megamind can make it to the safety of the bedcovers, Roxanne kicks the door open. Her face is knotted and huffed at first, until she smiles apologetically towards Minion and asks for help with the tray of food she's struggling to carry in both hands.

Both men don't make their tense confusion be known right away, wary of her eventually snapping at either of them at any given moment.

Minion helps Roxanne by placing the tray on her vanity, nearly clearing the table in the process with the amount of panicked anxiety coursing through his small body. Freed from the tray she gives her hands a little stretch and turns to Megamind standing in the middle of the bedroom, her face breaking out into a soft smile and shoulders dropping with relief.

"Thank god you're okay."

Megamind lets out a little peep of confused fear, for it's not necessarily the reaction he was expecting from her, especially not the way she's rushing towards him with open arms to envelope him in a tight embrace.

"I, am. Yes. Completely-, fine?"

"You sure? You took some damn falls a few times last night, we were almost afraid of letting you go to sleep."

"It wasn't much, I've been in worse situations before," he assured her with a tight smile. "But I don't think I got enough sleep, although I should probably eat as well. The memories of what happened last night are still a little, hard of putting together."

"Well just make sure to get some rest, okay sweetheart?" she nearly begs with the same sugary sweet tone, her hands hovering in want to caress his face but afraid she will further any injuries and bruising, settling on giving him a quick peck on his uninjured cheek.

Widened eyes following Roxanne walk out of the bedroom door, Megamind gapes at the doorframe his girlfriend just walked back through.

"Minion?" he squeaks. "What, exactly, happened last night? After you got back?"

Minion can't seem to pick his jaw up high enough to mouth his wording correctly.

"Honestly Sir, I have no idea. She wouldn't say much after I arrived with your things, just seemed to be focused on cleaning up and getting a meal put together. I'll, be downstairs getting everything else in order, you should eat and get some more rest."

Minion gives Megamind another firm nod of his head before disappearing through the bedroom door leaving behind his confused (and struggling to be sober) brother.

He settles on the vanity chair and blankly stares at the alphabet soup floating nonsensical gibberish, almost mocking him for his inability to recall the happenings of last night.

Letting out a deep sigh he's been holding back for too long, he gives in to the tempting scent the soup carries over, letting his blanking thoughts pass with the assumption whatever he did last night to pacify Roxanne was probably for the best anyway.


)-(

.last night.

"I'll be back momentarily, Miss Ritchie!" Minion bellowed from the living room, followed by the sound of the front door closing.

Roxanne turned to the sleeping mound of leather and limbs splayed over the collection of plushies that took over her side of the bed, gentle breathing and fluttering of eyelashes a contrasting vision in sight of their chaotic night.

"What am I going to do with you?" she muttered to herself with a smile as she leaned over him once more.

She drew the covers of her bed back to allow space for Megamind, adjusting the pillow underneath his slumbering head. Moving his limp body in place she pulled at his waist to un-do the belt holding his suit together, getting it halfway off before Megamind snapped awake and startled Roxanne by fighting with her, his hands clutching at her wrists as she struggled to get his belt off.

"Megs, urgh, Meg-Megamind. MEGAMIND. I, honey I have to, get. This. Off-…" she uttered between grunts and spasms while fighting his feeble attempts to stop her from undressing him between his own whines and cries of refusal.

"Stop, don't-no, please-"

"Megamind I need to-"

"You don't understand-"

"Sweetheart I know it's been a long night but-"

"I can't just take it off-"

"I can help you if you just-"

"I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" he yelled.

"…what?" Roxanne asked, her hands holding the belt in mid-air as Megamind curled into a tight ball at the head of the bed's baseboard.

"I understand it might be hard to resist my, incredibly-handsome-and-devilish-charm but I do say your feminine wiles will not, tempt me, to indulge in the path of unfaithfulness," he rushed as he scrambled to hide behind one of the many stuffed animals littered across her bed.

Her hand held his belt well over her head, her eyes looking everywhere before settling on his hands shielding his curled neck.

"Megamind?" she asked softly, lowering her hand to place the belt gently on the bedside table so as to not startle him. Her hands hovered with open palms over the covers, waiting for Megamind to lift his eyes and take a good look at her. Only when he did, did she move her hands to grasp the blanket and motion for him to straighten himself out.

"I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to, but right now I need you to lay down for me, okay? It's been, one hell of a night and you need to rest so all I'm gonna do is pull this blanket back for you to get in, alright? Just lay on your back and put this leg down off the bed for me," she said, tapping his left knee lightly.

He eyed her with caution, his leg moving agonizingly slow for she knew he was testing her patience, if only to see what she really was up to. Not giving in to any amount of frustration, she gingerly slid the comforter over the rest of his body up to his neck, reaching behind his head to adjust the pillows and making sure to point out the waste-basket she set aside next to his side of the bed.

"Get some rest. I'll be downstairs if you need me."

"Could-" he spoke out just as she had reached the door, his chin jutting out minutely from under cover framed by his hands gripping the cotton blanket, making him look so small and childlike.

"Could you, tell Roxanne and Minion I'm sorry? I know I must've been an asshole today, but it was the best day I've had in a while and I'm thankful for that."

She was at a loss. It took a lot for him to admit his feelings, and no doubt the alcohol probably aided in his confidence to say it out loud, but it still did not lessen her surprise.

"Yeah, I'll make sure to tell them."

"And one more thing?" he called out just as her hand rested on the light switch.

"Can you tell her I love her?"

She had to take a pause. It was taking all of her will to force herself to stay put by the door without expression, but his hands holding the blanket up to his wide eyes, being surrounded by the stuffed animals-

"I think she already knows, but I'll remind her."

She turned down the lights, staying in the door frame and not closing the door until well after she was sure he had fallen deep into sleep.


I need some salt to scrub off all that sweetness in the end, I forgot how loaded I made it, sorry guys if it was fluff overboard, I would say it's my first time writing it out such a way.
Of course I based the ending on the "drunk boyfriend" joke, for those of you who haven't heard it a guy goes on a binger and ends up nearly destroying his apartment in the process, but when his girlfriend tries to undress him he freaks out with a yell "I have a girlfriend!".

The little science experiment Megamind makes is pretty much Elephants Toothpaste, where you get dish soap, yeast and hydrogen peroxide (developer) to create an exothermic foam reaction bubbling out of a tube.
It is hot and the fact that it releases so much oxygen in the process technically could be lit on fire, although some basic forms don't catch as easily. THAT DOESN'T MEAN TRY IT AT HOME.

So I would've waited to post this tomorrow (which is in an hour, what am I talking about?) but I'm afraid I'd get tied up so SURPRISE! Here to grant you that story I've been missing out on for a while.

Now, onwards, to the others!
Maybe!

The undecisive (and newly discovered ADD condition harborer)
-Crazies