Sneaking around…Back in Port Charles

Brenda and Jason had only been back in Port Charles for about two weeks, but things were already back to normal. Brenda was spending the majority of her time with Sonny, and Jason was back to his normally busy schedule. Brenda had only managed to sleep at the penthouse twice. She had been spending most nights, at the house in the woods with Sonny. "Babe, I think I'm going to stay at the penthouse for a couple of nights."

"Aren't you happy here?"

"Of course I am, but I think you should spend a couple of nights at home. I'm sure your children miss you. They shouldn't have to drive way out here. It's much easier for them to come and visit at the other house."

"But I like being with you."

"Me too, but we have forever, I don't want to keep you from your children."

"You aren't keeping me from my kids."

"It feels like it, we can still see each other. Babe, you know I'm right, you can't stay up here forever. You have children who need you."

"I guess you are right, but I'm going to miss waking up with you."

"We have our whole lives."

"Yeah we do, but what are we going to do about right now?" Sonny pulls her to him, and starts nibbling on her neck. Brenda giggled. "Babe, we are supposed to be waiting, right?"

Sonny sighed. "Ok, ok, but a man can only take so much."

"We only have a couple of weeks before we are husband and wife. I promise, it will be worth the wait…"

Brenda opened the door to the penthouse, and was surprised to see Jason there with Sam. It was obvious they weren't expecting anyone. "Hello."

Sam smiled. "Hi."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt."

Jason stood up. "I thought you were in the woods with Sonny."

"We decided to come back for a couple of days…um….to be close to his kids. But, anyway I'm sorry. I'll leave you two alone."

Brenda quickly mounted the stairs. As soon as the door closed, the tears came with ease. The thought of Jason kissing someone else was just too hard to bear. She always knew he did, I mean Sam is his girlfriend, but it still hurt like hell. Her body started to tremble. She felt like she was losing it. Between the guilt she was feeling, and seeing Jason with Sam, she felt herself losing control. Brenda knew she had to pull it together, she did not want to have another breakdown. She started taking slow deep breaths, she thought about the baby she was carrying, and how she didn't want to do anything to put her pregnancy at risk. Her unborn child was the most important thing in her life. Brenda eventually calmed. She was a little hungry, but she didn't want to risk running into Jason and Sam again. She took a shower, and decided to read a little…..

When Brenda woke up, the book was on the floor, and the sun was already up. She looked at the clock, it was eight in the morning. She had slept the whole night. She stretched, got out of bed, and walked over to the window. Sam's car was gone, and so was Jason's truck. She pulled on her robe, and made her way downstairs. She went into the kitchen, and was shocked to see Spinelli. "Good morning."

"Hello, the divine one is looking rather stressed, is everything ok?"

"Just tired."

"I have just the thing, a special blend of herbal teas." He jumped to his feet.

Brenda stopped him. "I…better not."

"The divine one never says no to my tea."

"Not today Spin, I'm sorry." Feeling rejected, Spin sat back down. Brenda opened the refrigerator, grabbed a bagel, and popped it in the toaster. She took a seat across from Spin. Spin cut into his food, and ate some of the runny egg. Brenda froze, hopped up, and ran out of the kitchen. Spin jumped up and followed her into the bathroom.

Brenda is gripping the toilet, as Spin looks on.

"Does the divine one need medical assistance?"

"No, Spin, go back and finish your breakfast. I'm fine, I promise." Spin reluctantly leaves….

Brenda is back upstairs in her pink room, when she hears someone knocking. She got up, and opened the door. "Spin said you weren't feeling well."

"I just got sick again, I'll be fine." She goes over to the couch, and takes a seat. Jason follows. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No Jason. It's just morning sickness, it's not like you can take your gun out and shoot it."

"You know if you need anything, I'll get it, or do it."

"I know."

"I had no idea you were coming here last night."

"Don't apologize, it's fine."

"'It's not fine."

"It's fine! Look, Jason, I don't feel like arguing, I'm too tired. She's your girlfriend, I'm not. You're allowed to kiss her, WHEN-EVER you want!"

"Where is all this coming from?"

Brenda sighed. "It's the truth, it's just the truth."

"Well…I just wanted to apologize."

"Are you done?"

"I guess….if you are tired, I'll leave you alone."

"I am."

"Ok. Call me, if you need me."

"Ok." He turns and leaves….

"Why didn't you call me?!"

"She wouldn't let me. The divine one can be rather persistent and mean. I thought I should, but she made me promise. And with the pain she was in, I didn't want to add to it."

Jason takes the stairs two at a time, and enters the pink room. Bren is in bed, and he can hear her sobs. He rushed over to her. "What happened?" Bren looked up. "I'm so sorry, Jason. Don't hate me."

"What happened?"

"About an hour after you left, I started getting these sharp pains. I got up and went into the bathroom. And I noticed I was spotting. I got Spin to drive me to the emergency room. I'm sorry Jason, I'm so sorry."

"Just tell me what happened, Brenda."

"I told them that I was almost 2 months pregnant, and I was experiencing pain and bleeding. They ran a lot of tests, but they all came back negative."

"So negative is good, right?"

"'Sweetheart, the pregnancy tests came back negative."

"There's no baby?" Bren shakes her head, and buries her face into his chest. "I'm so sorry." Jason grabs Bren and hugs her, as she sobs. He tries to remain strong for her, but inside his heart is breaking. He knew their affair was wrong, but the idea of having a child, made it worth it. He kissed the top of her head, as a single tear fell from his eyes….

Jason closes the door to the pink room, walks down the stairs, and finds Spinelli in the living room waiting. Jason had already been told by Bren, that Spinelli knew nothing about the miscarriage. He is under the impression, that it was just her ulcer acting up, brought on by all the Balkan drama, and the stress of the wedding. Jason tells Spin to keep his mouth shut. Spin agrees and runs off. Jason was just about to go upstairs, when Carly walks in. "Hey, what's wrong?

"Nothing."

"Something is definitely wrong, it's written all over your face."

"Carly, what do you want?"

"I just came by to see you."

"Well, I'm busy ."

"Jason….I…don't know what's going on, but maybe if you talk about it-."

"Not now, Carly! Please! I just want to be alone."

"Ok, but I was just trying to help."

"Thank you, I'll call you later."

"Ok, Ja-."

"I will call you later!" She leaves. Jason feels bad for yelling, but he just didn't have time for her snooping. He climbs the stairs, and goes into the pink room…

Bren is standing by the window, looking down at the street below. "You should be taking it easy."

"I'm fine. It's not like I can lose anything else."

"Brenda, don't be so hard on yourself."

"I guess it's just karma, biting me on the a**."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, look at all the things we've done. The sneaking around, the lying, the cheating, I guess it was just our time to pay the piper."

"Maybe." Bren turns, walks over to the couch, and takes a seat. Jason takes a seat beside her. "Well, at least you still have Sam and Sonny's friendship, no one ever has to know."

"I would have risked it all, to see my child born." Bren looks away, her eyes fill with tears. Jason pulls her to him, and comforts her….

Sonny took a seat behind his desk. "I don't know what happened, she just told me it wasn't going to work out."

Jason took a seat at one of the other chairs. "Just out of the blue?"

"Pretty much, I thought everything was going great. Did I miss something? Did she say anything to you?"

"No…Brenda doesn't talk to me. She just yells and demands, or whines."

Sonny laughs. "Yeah, I guess you are right. I really thought we were going to make it work this time. I guess in the beginning she thought she could handle my life, but in the end she just wasn't ready."

"Are you ok?"

"Honestly….no. But I guess I'll have to learn to deal. I'll die loving her." Jason doesn't respond, because he feels the same way….

Jason turns the knob and goes in to the pink room. He discards his jacket, and slides in next to her. "Brenda, are you still awake?"

"Yes." Jason pulls her to him, and kisses the back of her neck. She turns and gently presses her lips up against his. "You've been crying." He places a kiss on each eye.

"I'm sorry, Jason. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, Brenda. I don't know why, but it just wasn't meant to be. It's not your fault, it's not my fault. I don't understand why we had to lose our child. I would have given anything for a chance at being a father." Jason's eyes have a sadness, Bren has never seen before. "Maybe I'm being punished for my lifestyle, and all the people I've killed. Maybe-." Tears spill on to his face.

"Baby, don't say that." She wipes his tears away. She lays her head on his chest, as he grieves for their unborn child…After some time, Bren lifts her head, and plants a kiss on his lips. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me." *silence* "Sonny told me you broke things off."

"Yes, after everything, it was the right thing to do."

"So what now?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I want to tell Sonny and Sam the truth."

Bren jumped up. "You can't!"

"Why not?"

"They don't have to know anything. There is no baby, so we can pretend like nothing ever happened."

"And how are we supposed to that?"

"Easy, pretend like nothing happened."'

Jason stands. "So you want us to break up?"

"Jason, we aren't together, we've just been sneaking around."

"No, it's been more than that. You love me, and I love you. Let's just be honest."

"You would lose your friendship with Sonny, you know that right?" Jason looked down. "Let the chips fall where they may."

"I can't let you do that, I won't let you do that." Jason walked over to Bren and cupped her chin. "I want to be with you, no more hiding, no more lying, let's just put it out there."

"Jason, as much as I love you, I just don't think that's a good idea." Jason pulled her to him. "Brenda, trust me it will be, ok…"

Jason pulled up to the penthouse building, and sees Max putting Bren's bags in the car. "Max, where are you going with those?"

"Ms. Barrett is leaving."

"Leaving?"

"I'm here to take her to the airport."

"Airport?" He rushed upstairs to the penthouse. He opens the door, Bren is there with Sam and Robin. Her and Robin are hugging and crying. "You're leaving?"

Bren turned. "Yeah, I decided to go back to Rome. I don't want to stay here, not…after ending things with Sonny." Sam walks over to Jason, and wraps her arms around his waist. Jason is handcuffed, he can't do or say anything. His heart is beating so fast, he feels helpless. Robin tells Bren she loves her, and one day her and Emma will visit. She leaves.

"I really want to thank you two, for everything. Sam, I'm soo grateful, I know this hasn't been easy for you. Thanks for being so understanding."

"It's ok, Jason had to rescue me too." Bren smiled. "He really is a lucky man."

"So am I."

"Yes, you are." Bren looked down. *silence* Sam looked at Jason. "I'm going to leave you two alone. I know you two act like you hate each other, but I know there's love there." Sam disappears into the kitchen.

"What are you doing? "

"Leaving."

"Why?"

"There is no reason to stay. You have a second chance with Sam and Sonny, take it. Make things right, Jason. I won't stay and mess that up."

"When did you decide to leave?"

"After the miscarriage."

"And you were not going to tell me?"

"I didn't want you to stop me."

"I don't want you to leave."

"It's better this way." Jason's eyes are on her, his blue eyes pleading. She sees the hurt in his eyes, but she can't stay. "I'm fine, the Balkan has been dealt with, it's just time to make a fresh start. I love Rome, it's feels more like home than Port Charles."

"Your home is supposed to be with me. You are ripping my heart out."

"That was not my intention."

"But you are Brenda, you are ripping it out."

"I love you, Jason. I really do."

"But you don't love me enough to stay?"

"I love you enough to leave."

"I would never leave you, never. Do you have any idea, what you are doing to me? Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"Yes, I do."

"And knowing that you would still leave me?"

"Please Jason, don't make this harder than it already is."

"So I'm supposed to make it easier for you?"

"No." She looked down.

"Look at me Brenda." She looked into his eyes. "what am I supposed to do?"

"Forget me."

"Forget you? Like you are forgetting me?"

"Jason, I'm not forgetting you."

"How am I supposed to breathe, when you are my air?"

Sam returns. "Glad to see no blood splatters on the wall." Bren smiled. *a knock at the door* Jason opens it, and sees Max standing there. "It's time to go."

"Well, I'm off." She looked up at Jason. "Take care."

"You too." Bren turned to Sam. "Bye."

"Bye." She walked past Jason, and her smell is all that's left, as he closed the door behind her…...

Bren looked out of the window. A middle aged woman takes a seat next to her. "Hey, hun."

"Hello."

"I'm Margarite."

"I'm Brenda."

"Well nice to meet you Brenda."

"Likewise."

"First time going to Rome?"

"No, I've been living there for the last eight years."

"Really, I've been living there for five. You know you look like that model, the one in the magazines."

"I get that a lot." Margarite pulled out one of her magazines, and turned to an ad. She looks at the ad, then at Brenda. "Wait a minute, it is you. I understand, you probably have people bothering you all of the time."

"Not really, it's not like I'm Heidi Klum."

"I think you look better."

"Aren't you nice."

"What brought you to the states?"

"I just came to visit some old friends."

"Me too. I have family in New York, and I hate every last one of them."

"I'm sure you don't mean that."

"Yes hell I do. They get on my nerves, but hey, they're family." She stands and looks around. "I need a drink, where is that stewardess? Maybe I should whistle, you think they'll get mad?"

"Probably so, I would."

"Hell this is first class, right?"

"As far as I know."

"Hell, I feel like I'm in Coach. Kind of wished I was, that's where they are. Are you going to model in Rome?"

"No, I'm done with that. I'm thinking about launching my own cosmetics line. I've been working for cosmetics companies for years, and I know everything there is to know about them. I was once married, well dated, a man, that owned a cosmetics company."

"Do it, you could sell me anything, you are gorgeous."

"So are you."

"I know." They burst into laughter. The stewardess shows up. Margarite looked over at Bren. "You want something to drink?"

"Yes, just water, please."

"No, alcohol?"

"No."

"And why the hell not? Don't make me drink by myself. It's no fun."

"I would love to, but I'm expecting."

"Well hot damn, congratulations."

"Thanks." The stewardess hands Margarite her drink, and Bren her water. "I've always wanted children, but I was never able to have them."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I guess God had other plans."

"Well I'm about to take this sedative, so don't worry you won't hear a peep out of me, at least for the next couple of hours." She takes a sedative, and chases it with a shot of gin. Eventually, she drifts off, but not before telling Bren how she ended up in Rome. Bren tried to go to sleep, but she just couldn't, so she just stared out of the window…

Back in Port Charles, Jason was downstairs sitting on the couch, when Spinelli walked through the door. Spinelli instantly notices a sadness in Jason. "Is stone cold ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Stone Cold doesn't look fine, Stone Cold looks troubled."

"I don't want to talk, Spinelli! Just go do something. I'm not in the mood!"

"o..k." Spin sprints up the stairs. He goes into his room, and locks the door. Once inside, he relaxes. He takes a seat at his desk. He pulls his laptop out of his bag, and tries to get some work done, but he has trouble thinking. He flashes back to the events of last week. She had been sick, smells were making her even sicker. The day they came back from Vegas, he noticed a connection that he'd never noticed before. Maybe it had always been there. He wasn't sure, he never really stayed at the penthouse, so he wasn't sure when it started, or how long it was going on. After they came home, he made a point to stay at the penthouse more. He would pretend to go to bed, but he'd stay up. He heard Jason, going into the pink room in the middle of the night. He knew something was going on, but he couldn't prove it, until that night. He was shocked and felt bad for fair Samantha. She loved Jason. He put two and two together, she was pregnant. He over heard her crying one day, and he tried to comfort her. She told him, that it couldn't be helped, but he says maybe it can. He told her he knew about her and Jason, and the baby. She broke down, and he decided to help her, by making everything right. They were going to fake a miscarriage. Spinelli shut his computer. That was one secret he would never tell, it would surely make Jason hate him. And he couldn't bear that…

Bren leaned back in the seat. She closed her eyes, and instantly thought of their times together. *She remembered every kiss, touch, and time they made love. She thought about all the times they made love in the shower, and the nights they would spend making love into the wee hours of the morning. His lips on her body, felt like home* She smiled to herself. She would always love him, just from a distance. She never questioned her decision, she knew it was the right one. Jason and Sonny had been friends forever, and Sam didn't deserve the hurt, their affair would cause. She knew if Jason ever found out, he would never forgive her. She wasn't worried about Spinelli. He wouldn't tell a soul, because Jason meant the world to him, and he didn't want to lose him. That was the hardest decision she had ever made, giving up the man she loved, and lying to him in the process. Bren touched her stomach, at least she would always have a piece of him…

Jason stared at the ceiling, Sam stretched, and looked over at him. "Jason, it's 3 in the morning. What are you doing still up?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"I noticed you have been acting differently, since Brenda left. I know you are worried about her, she'll be fine. She isn't in any danger anymore." Jason remains silent. Sam rests her head on his chest. "Just try and get some sleep, she'll be ok." Sam yawns, and drifts off. Jason has never felt this kind of pain. His body and soul aches for her. He yearns for her touch, her laugh, her smell, but most of all her love. Jason(how could she leave me?) To be continued…