Kaleidoscope of Chaos
Premise: What sort of mayhem could the Weasley twins create if they had stumbled upon the leftover Polyjuice potion that Hermione had brewed and left behind when she was escorted to the Infirmary after the ill-fated information gathering attempt during the Chamber of Secrets crisis?
No Pairings, AU.
/O/
As Albus Dumbledore:
They enter the Ministry and announce 'his' retirement from both the Chief Warlock and ICW Supreme Mugwump positions.
They start hustling the Minister and call him all sort of rude names.
Spotting Rita Skeeter, they sit down with her and 'spill the beans' of all the sordid secret details and behind-the-scenes shenanigans of students and staff.
/O/
As Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge:
They hold a press conference stating that 'he'd' like to see his Under-Secretary take part in a bikini mud-wrestling competition.
During said conference, 'he' makes it known that an evening with Narcissa Malfoy's exquisite bum would really make his day and that he'd take out a full-page advertisement in the Daily Prophet describing said evening as soon as possible.
'Fudge' finishes out the conference by thanking Lucius Malfoy for the latest deposit of bribes…er, 'campaign contributions' of one hundred thousand Galleons and thinks that Lucius' idea of transferring Delores Umbridge to a remote station in the Amazon would be a wonderful opportunity should she lose in the mud-wrestling competition.
/O/
As Minerva McGonagall:
The twins take the form of both McGonagall and Snape and are spotted ducking into the closest broom cupboard.
'She' proceeds to slap Albus Dumbledore silly for being a general nitwit.
'She' takes out a full-page advertisement in the Daily Prophet and proclaims to be Harry Potter's grandmother and that he would never return to those horrid muggles no matter how much Albus whines.
/O/
As Lucius Malfoy:
Announces to the wizarding public that he's in a torrid love affair with Severus Snape.
Announces a new line of hair care products designed to give you that 'fresh from the courtroom proclaiming to be Imperioused' look.
Declares that muggles and muggleborns have some pretty cool ideas on how to improve their society.
/O/
As Madam Poppy Pomfrey:
Declares Albus to be incompetent and unable to effectively be Headmaster. Issues a Medical Directive to strip Albus of his titles and be remanded to the long-term care and custody of Saint Mungo's.
Announces that Minerva McGonagall to be 'one hot pussycat.'
Publicly gets high from some of Professor Sprout's 'secret garden' plants.
/O/
As Severus Snape:
Declares that being the Head of Slytherin House was one of the most idiotic decisions he ever made.
Assigns detention to Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle for being dumb AND ugly.
Assigns detention to Draco Malfoy for being a mindless clone of his father and thinks that he should've been sorted into Gryffindor.
Starts brewing psychedelic potions designed to help 'those stuffed shirt Slytherins get their groove on.'
Is spotted in the Grand Hallway doing a series of wild muggle dances simply because 'sometimes you feel like shaking your money-maker.'
/O/
As Ron Weasley:
Publicly declares that for all of his bluster and diatribe against Slytherins, he secretly wishes he could've been a part of that House and that Draco Malfoy looks absolutely smashing in Acromantula silk.
Announces that he really thinks that Harry Potter would make a better friend and mate for Hermione Granger than he.
Declares that he believes that the girls of the school ought to be flocking to him since he's gonna be 'a world-famous Quidditch star one day' despite the fact that he's so lazy he makes the 'Dense Duo' look like geniuses.
The only reason why he puts up with the 'bossy, know-it-all' Hermione Granger and Harry Potter is for her to do his homework for him and for Harry to share his family fortune with him.
/O/
As Delores Umbridge:
Announces that it is true that one of her parents is actually a toad.
Decrees that 'Fudge Flies' are an acceptable gift for the holidays.
Openly states that she chose the color pink as a way to mask her incredible ugliness.
Agrees with the generally held belief that muggleborns are the future of the magical world and that she wishes she had their talents.
