Of Poetry and Prose: Chapter Four

When we left Slovakia I was elated. I had saved the day, my friends, and the House of Refuge. It had felt especially good because they all had been treating me like I was going to break. By the time we arrived back home the euphoria had evaporated and all I was left with were doubts about my place on the team. It's starting to feel like they're all starting to fear the tumor. I don't know if they thought I would betray them for a cure again or if they were afraid that the tumor was beginning to be more problematic, but I felt like I was being pushed to the side more often than not lately. It was kind of funny since I had just told Jake that I liked that he saw past my tumor, but he didn't come to my aid when Baird kept telling me to stay with Katie in the car. It didn't matter how much I wanted to help, no one wanted me there once I had solved the broken ley lines problem.

Maybe I'm just being silly, but I feel like they really only see me for what my tumor brings to the table these days. It's a lonely existence on the days when all they see is Math Girl and not Cassandra.

Since I'm pretty sure I'm not going to end up with company tonight I decide my most comfortable cat pajamas and some mindless television is the way to go. I find there really isn't anything interesting on TV so I figure I'll just relax on the sofa and decompress. I'm hoping that will make me feel better, so I cocoon myself up in my favorite blanket and lay down. It's then that I notice the book sitting on my coffee table. I'm positive it wasn't there earlier.

I'm afraid to reach for it, especially after spending the day in what was once a murder house. Of course curiosity wins out in the end and I was surprised to find an anthology of poetry. My first thought is that Jake must have left it, but I know he didn't have a book with him when he was last here. While I know Ezekiel has a penchant for breaking in I don't think he'd leave me a book, even if he has been trying to play matchmaker with me and Jake. Looking inside I find a note, and smile.

Cassandra, I thought this might come in handy. Thank you for freeing me.

A gift from the Spirit of the House of Refuge. So instead of getting some much needed rest I read poetry until falling asleep cuddled up on the sofa.

I'm still feeling down when I reach the annex the next day, and am pleased to find I'm the first to arrive (other than Jenkins of course). I try to do some work on mapping out the ley lines in my notebook, but can't shake the feeling of depression that seems to have over taken me.

"Miss. Cillian you seem to be lacking your usual smile this morning," Jenkins stated as he entered the main room of the annex.

"Oh, hi Jenkins," I uttered looking down absentmindedly at my notebook.

"I know I'm going to regret asking this, but what's got you down this morning?" he questioned.

"Do you think they see me as a time bomb about to explode?" I asked quietly. I don't know why I was asking Jenkins, but I do trust him to give me a truthful answer.

"Of course not. Why would you think a thing like that?" He sounded thoroughly surprised and upset at my question.

"I just feel like they keep pushing me away. I'll solve a problem and then I'm told to wait on the sidelines away from any possible danger. It doesn't matter that I'm the one who saved us yesterday, it's like they only see the tumor and the problems it could present while we're out on a mission. Maybe I wasn't really meant to be a Librarian."

"Let me tell you this, if the Library sends you an invitation than you are meant to be here, even if it might be an inconvenience to me. Don't tell them, but even Mr. Jones and Mr. Stone belong here. They need you Miss. Cillian and if they don't see that they're going to have me to answer to," he explained in his most matter-of-fact voice that let me know that he meant every word.

"Thanks Jenkins. I'm glad that you are here with us because even if you don't like it, we need you too. I'd hug you, but I don't think you'd appreciate it." I smiled up at him and he graced me with a rare smile of his own.

"Don't let them get you down," he remarked before heading towards his lab.


I know that I wasn't meant to overhear Jenkins conversation with Cassie. I didn't want to interrupt and there wasn't anywhere for me to go, so of course I heard the entire thing. It was heartbreaking to think that she thought we only wanted her around for the math or that we were afraid her tumor made her a liability. The sad truth was we didn't do or say anything to give her a different impression, and all of us were guilty of the transgression.

She had saved all of our asses yesterday despite the fact we tried to keep her away from the dangers that could have been lurking in that house. Baird, Jones, and I had been beyond useless and no matter how we tried to tell her we didn't need the help she kept pushing to be there for all of us. She was always there, and I wasn't there for her when she needed me. I am always there to catch her when she falls, but when she really needed my support I didn't give it to her. What kind of friend and partner am I if I don't support her voice and ideas when they deserve to be heard?

"Don't make me regret letting you overhear that conversation Mr. Stone," Jenkins mentioned as he walked past me.


I know this is a shorter chapter but I have a feeling the next couple are going to be a bit longer. One will be Jake and Cassandra having a discussion based on this chapter that I want to stand on it's own. And of course we'll have to deal with the aftermath of The City of Light soon. I'm kind of looking forward to revisiting that particular episode since I've already written one story that takes place in it's aftermath and this one might go in a completely different direction. I am happy that I've been able to turn these chapters out quickly for you because sometimes it can be hard. Thankfully this story seems to be writing itself.

Thank you to all of you for reading. I hope that you all continue to enjoy the direction I'm taking. Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews I greatly appreciate them. Happy Reading!