Just a small scene I thought would be hillarious. Because if Ned Stark is sort of like Batman, then his children will most likely become sort of Robin. And that leads us to this...


4. Sandor Clegane

Driving around the little shit that was his boss' son was a shitty job. But it paid the bills and it paid them well. And it was better than driving taxi and being pestered about his face. Because then he would lie and tell them some shit about being in the war or something else and some people would give him a higher tip. Most wouldn't. And anyway, this way he did not have to deal with vomit in his car or some useless chit chat.

"Drive the boy where he want's, keep your mouth shut about everything and keep the boy out of trouble."

That had been what Tywin fucking Lannister had told him when he had started the job and though it was Cersei Baratheon-Lannister whose name was written under his paid his pay checks, it was in essence the money of the old lion which he used to buy his groceries.

The driving was the easy part. Keeping the mouth shut he was good at too, he had no one to talk too anyway. But keeping the boy out of trouble.. that was the problem.

Because the little shit was not only a spoiled brat, he was also high on some shit most of the time and dumb as fuck. And he usually got grabby with his girls. Always another girl than before. Dark haired ones, fair haired ones, redheads, dark skin, mocha-coloures skin, caucasian, it didn't really matter, Joffrey Baratheon-Lannister had only one type: Stupid and weak.

When Sandor had driven the boy to the Stark-Residence for the first time, he felt a bit bad about opening the door and allowing Sansa Stark and her boyfriend into the car. He knew that he would have to drink a whole bottle of scotch to forget the face of the girl with a split lip or a black eye or something that evening.

When she squeled on the way back from the movie theater he knew that Joffrey had gotten grabby. Most likely the little shit had sniffed a bit of snow during the movie and was now up for some redhead on his cock. Sandor bit the innard of his mouth and turned up the volume of the stereo.

Upon arriving at Winterfell, the old Stark-Residence, he felt horrible to the stomach. Sansa Stark seemed to be a decent girl and did not deserve such a horrible boyfriend. He got out of the car and opened the door for her to leave the limousine, already imagining her with her hair in a mess, her make-up ruined by her tears and her dress torn.

However she appeared to be rather... smug. "Joffrey, I break up with you", she said in a matter of factly tone, then turning towards Sandor. "You should get a better job."

And with that she strolled away with a grace that seemed unnatural for a woman of her age. Mouth agape Sandor could do nothing else but stare at her retreating back. For several moments he had the feeling as if the world had turned on it's head. And when he took a look at the interior of the backroom... He broke out in laughter immediately upon seeing the beaten up form of Joffrey fucking Baratheon dickhead Lannister.

Seems the little bird had claws.

It was after he drove the little shit to the hospital to get his broken nose, bruised ribs and concussion treated, that he told Cersei Lannister who was hovering at her sons bedside and screaming at the hospital staff like a banshee: "I quit."


This scene takes place before the other chapters, so during this time Ned Stark is still alive. Not that it really matters though.