What In The World

CHAPTER 4: "You Gotta Strut Like You Mean It"

This chapter is dedicated to jasperissexy who thought this idea was a 'cliché' but had me LOLing at the mere thought of it (and getting out of bed to write it)! :)


Edward was angry. Did he have any other emotion? He looked at the ground as he stormed across the street.

At least he had his manly pride!

Edward then remembered that all this worrying could age his perfect 17-year-old face so he tried to stop.

Edward strutted down the streets head now held high. He owned this street!

But as he looked ahead, he saw someone else strutting, in his street!

Edward would teach him a lesson.

And there was only one way to do it.

STRUT OFF!

Edward stood in the traditional pose used when challenging a person to a strut off which involved popping his heel up and sticking a hand in the air.

Jazz hands, of course.

The man stopped.

Then he licked his finger and poked his butt.

Edward could hear him 'ssssss'.

It was the traditional acceptance pose for a strut off.

It was on like Donkey Kong.

Edward moved through the street. Pushing people out of his way as he went.

No one was safe.

He stopped by a bench to prop a foot up on it and smile at an imaginary camera.

The challenger moved forward and stole a bag off a nearby woman, which he promptly threw over his shoulder and jumped into a flowerpot. He them pretended to blow kisses to a crowd. He waved and posed for pictures for the imaginary people before finally throwing the bag into the crowd.

Edward was mad again.

His next performance would decide whether he won or lost, I mean, that other guy did have a whole crowd on his side.

He went to a group of picnickers and stole their rug away, he shook the food off it and tied around his neck. He then ran to the monkey bars.

After 20 torturous minutes, Edward had climbed on top of the monkey bars. He stood legs apart and hands on hips. Unfortunately there was no wind to blow his cape around for dramatic effect so he had a little girl waving it for him.

The challenger moved his hand to his chin and put on a look of deep thought.

The traditional pose of defeat.

Ah! Sweet victory!

Edward turned around with a dramatic head flick and planed to walk away, except he was still on the monkey bars.

His head flick had put him off balance, he waved his arms around to try and get it back. He probably could have gotten it back by taking a few steps forward on the top of the monkey bars then jumping off and making look like a really cool ninja move.

Except the little girl was still there.

He fell.

He landed awkwardly on his head.

The quickly stood up and brushed off his clothes.

Hopefully his challenger wouldn't notice.

He did.

His challenger looked down, laughing.

Edward stormed over.

That guy didn't know who he was messing with.

If he didn't stop, Edward would do something drastic.

If he didn't stop, Edward would … um, well …Edward would bop him!

Then something shiny caught Edwards's attention.

It was strangely familiar; Edward had seen that shine before.

GASP!

Edward understood.

That was the exact shine you got from 5 hard hours of combing, washing, blow drying and conditioning your hair!

Edward would know, he did it every day! Well, except for bank holidays…

And even more shocking, the amazingly shiny hair was on Edward's challenger's head!

Maybe it was a toupee!

Edward pulled the guys hair.

No, not a toupee…

The challenger seemed to be as shocked as Edward.

"Cedric."

He held out a hand.

"Edward."

Edward shook Cedric's hand.

Both of their voices were kind of dreamy as they said this as they were still staring at each others hair.

"So, Cedric, you like hair?"

"Obviously. Hair this good doesn't just happen, actually…"

"Louie, I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship."

"Who's Louie?"

"That squirrel over there, but I guess we can be friends too."

"Sweet."

So Cedric and Edward spent the day discussing hair products while Louie the Squirrel templed his fingers (paws) and plotted when to make his move.

Just kidding!

Squirrels can't plot anything!

Or can they…


I hope you liked it! It's a little different to the other ones… I hope it's enough to tide you over for a while though because I am going on HOLIDAY! So if there is no more new stories in two weeks don't worry, I haven't forgotten you! The laptop just isn't coming with us!

~CommeParMagie