Wow, can't believe it's been this long since I last updated. Sorry for the wait guy's. But damn it I am so not happy with OTH at the moment. She's pregnant, how is that freaking fair. I'll tell you it's not and they totally cheated Brooke's character this season, freaking sucks ass. I'm not watching it anymore, I have resigned myself to reading faithfully Brucas fan fiction. Anyways aside from my mini rant there, this is the next chapter. Damn it, damn it, a really shitty chapter. So sorry please review and I'd really love to know where you guys want me to take this story.

Playlist for this chapter:

Broken Strings - James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado

Closer - Kings of Leon

Breakeven - The Script

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

Thinking of You - Katy Perry

You Found Me - The Fray

Wish You Were - Kate Voegele


Let me hold you, For the last time

It's the last chance to feel again

But you broke me, Now I can't feel anything

When I love you,It's so untrue

I can't even convince myself,

When I'm speaking,It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me upI try to hold on, but it hurts too much

I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings, You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel

I can't tell you something that ain't real,

Oh the truth hurts, And lies worse

How can I give anymore, When I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing, We are turning into dust

Playing house in the ruins of us, Running back through the fire

When there's nothing left to save, It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh it tears me up, I try to hold on, but it hurts too much

I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay,

You can't play on broken strings, You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel

I can't tell something that ain't real,

Well the truth hurts, And lies worse,

How can I give anymore, When I love you a little less than before

Broken Strings - James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado.

Richard Bach once wrote : "The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we'll lose it. We fear that if we do not have love we will be unhappy.


Lucas' POV.

It's safe to say that I have completely messed up my life, so much so that I honestly have no idea who I am anymore. The last couple of months have been the worst. When Brooke announced her pregnancy shortly before she left, a part of me was hopeful of reconciliation. I was adamant that I would not become Dan Scott, I would be there for Brooke and our child. But life is never easy. While I sat at home brooding over my decisions, I had let Brooke slip through my fingers once again. And in that moment I knew I'd let her down again, I'd let them both down. It seemed that I never fought for her when it truly mattered, and so I took the coward's way out and settled for Peyton. I knew it would end up hurting a lot of people in the long run, but I just couldn't help myself.

Peyton Sawyer, had been my first crush. She was everything I could ever want, and this was our chance. She was the reason I had lost everything for, lost myself for. I reasoned with myself that it was ok that we were together now, because it meant all the pain we had caused was for something. But I found out to late that my feelings weren't real. Yes she was my dream girl but my expectations were too high, and she could never live up to this idea of her that I had. I realised that I had been in love with the idea of us rather than her as a person, a lover, and an equal. But we were in too deep and a month later we found ourselves facing the consequences, she was pregnant. Not only had I managed to knock up my ex but now my current girlfriend. I had never felt like my father so much than I did in that moment. We were on our way to breaking up, things didn't feel right and both of us knew it. A baby, that changed things.

We tried so hard to make it work, for the baby and for everyone else. The stress and guilt more than took its toll on Peyton and she miscarried before her second trimester. The grief we felt was so overwhelming, it was a surprise that bitterness never overtook us. The loss of a child made us realise that life is to short, and that love is beautiful and fleeting and sometimes true love is where you least expect it. I wasn't at all angry when she and Jake decided to give things a try after graduation. Peyton deserved happiness, and Jake and Jenny could give her that and a family she once had.

But as Peyton got her life together, it felt like I was slowly losing grip on mine. I was too ashamed to make amends with Brooke, which infuriated my mother to no end. I don't deserve Brooke and I sure as hell don't deserve our child. I will not hurt them again. I need to sort myself out, find myself again. I've been in denial of my actions for so long, it feels like a weight has been lifted now I need to right the wrongs I've done. "People who are meant to be together, always find their way in the end". Brooke told me that once and it's only now that I truly believe it.