Sorry about the delay in updating but morning sickness is trying to kill me at the moment.

Will I stay?

BPOV

I couldn't sleep last night. Images of the man's eyes the second Edward shot him haunted my dreams and my waking moments. This was more than the after school adventure I had wanted. How had I ended up in such a dark world? Would they even let me leave completely now that I knew about them? If they did let me leave could I really go back home and take up a normal job? How would I explain my sudden change of heart to Charlie? Could I live with never seeing Edward again, even after all that has happened?

In the morning I sent a text to Carlisle explaining that I needed the day off to think about my situation. His reply was quick and indicated that he understood my need for space. In truth I just couldn't face the anger I knew would be coming my way from Edward. I deserved every second of his wrath for putting the team in danger. He wouldn't see my perspective.

I decided to go for a long walk along the beach to try and put my thoughts together. I had to make a choice today and live with that choice, no matter the consequences.

I walked for what seemed like hours still no closer to a decision. That was when I heard strange music and the sound of deep breaths. I followed the sound to a small clearing and found Jasper in the middle of a Tae-Kwondo workout by himself. In the clearing was a large wooden floor and to the side a portable music system.

He must have seen me but for now he chose to ignore me. He was wearing long black workout pants but no shirt or shoes. His eyes were closed and he appeared lost in the movements. There would be silence for a moment and then a bang as his foot hit the floor. This went on for almost and hour and I was totally immersed in watching him. It was violent but beautiful at the same time. I couldn't help but notice the bruises and scratches that remained from yesterdays fight. He also had much deeper scars that I noticed now. Old wounds that looked like stab wounds, a gunshot wound on his left shoulder and terrifyingly burn marks on his torso. He was only a few years older than me but he was a man whereas I know felt like a small child. Jasper had seen things I probably didn't want to think about.

He stopped and watched me for a moment, as if considering something.

"Take you shoes off Bella and come here."

I did as he asked and walked onto the wooden platform.

He grabbed my right foot and pulled my leg out to ninety degrees.

"Now change legs fast."

So began my first workout in the martial arts. He never said a word about my failings of the day before instead he put me through my paces for over an hour. Sweat was pouring off me and I felt like I was going to pass out any second. Jasper just kept going pushing me harder.

Eventually he stopped the workout by turning off the music and pulling on a t-shirt that sat next to the platform.

"Bell I know part of you wants to stay. I can see it in your eyes. You need to change your perspective of us and you need to change who you are. It's a lot to ask I know but we all had to change from the wide-eyed kids we were to make it in our chosen lives. To some we are monsters but to others we protect them from the evil of the world. You need to decide which side you are on."

He picked up the sound system and started to walk away down the beach.

Thanks to Jasper's workout and his calming words I suddenly had an answer. I could be more than I had known in my life. I could push myself to reach further and be part of this group who had come to mean so much to me in such a short time.

I run after Jasper as fast as my aching legs would carry me.

"Jazz please wait a second."

He turned and looked at me.

"Can I join you for another workout tomorrow?"

Jasper's face lit up.

"Good choice Swan. Tomorrow's workout is a 15 mile run starting at 5am."

Oh God what have I signed up for. Well at least I have made my choice. Now I just have to face Edward.

Short update I know The more reviews I get the more I feel the need to -heh.