Chapter 4 Aftermath

Bella made it to her office mostly unnoticed. James had seen her leave Edward's room, and would therefore know that she'd been there for the rest of the night. She was fairly certain that he wouldn't say anything though – after all, she supplied his employment.

Her body still smelled of Edward; his scent alone made her knees slightly wobbly. She took a shower, trying to get her head around the last 6 hours. 1. Dinner with super star. 2. Battle with a glass of wine – the first in months. 3. Mind blowing sex with said super star. 3. Running like hell from said super star. 4. What next?

The more she thought about it, the less it made sense. This was not her normal behaviour. Normal Bella behaviour involved avoiding alcohol and environments containing alcohol. Restaurants were firmly in the 'To Be Avoided' category. Normal behaviour certainly didn't include sex with a man she had known for less than 6 hours. The last time she'd done that, she'd been too hammered to walk. She flinched at the memory. And lastly, thoughts of her mum were usually ruthlessly repressed.

A shudder ran through her and her legs folded beneath her. The seal on the door called Mum cracked and broke open, flooding Bella's heart with razor blades, exposing the cuts to the air for the first time in a year. It was almost 3 years since her mother's suicide.

She had known how illusory her mother's stability was. She had lived with her mother's Bipolar Disorder for most of her life, at least since her father died. It was Bella who made sure she took her medication, Bella who called the psychiatrist when Renee's moods began swinging. And it was Bella who had walked away, leaving Renee to commit suicide, alone, in a bath of water.

If only she hadn't moved up to London. If only she had stayed. If only. The two saddest words in the English language.

She had no idea how long she had been on the floor, trying to reach the surface of the sea of pain. It was the freezing water that finally broke through the waves that were pinning her to the floor. She got up painfully and prepared for a long day.

Dressed in a suit, hair neatly coiled on her head and make up on, all traces of Edward were gone and Bella began her day.

By 10am, she was exhausted. She was heading up on 2 days with no more than a couple of hours sleep. She shook her head, knowing that she'd have to deal with Edward Cullen and the issue of his suite, since she usually handled the VIP suites herself. Perhaps she could get Angela to handle it. She was the Assistant GM after all.

As if on cue, Angela's head popped around her office door.

"Hey, Bella! Looks like you were fielding lots of drama last night! What happened? The Concierge left notes that Edward Cullen is booked in the hotel, but I can't find his room number and you didn't leave the code name."

"And good morning to you too, Angela! I don't understand a word you're saying as I'm severely under-caffeinated. Grab a cup, pour me one, and I'll give you the run down."

Angela smiled. "Sorry. But you have to admit that having Edward Cullen in the hotel is definitely noteworthy!" She poured two mugs of coffee before sitting on the couch.

Bella sighed internally, knowing that she would have to heavily edit to make it even vaguely PG. Perhaps if she went into work mode... 10 minutes later, she had run through the pertinent facts to bring Angela up to speed. Angela would capture the information against the VIP's profile and she could breath a sigh of relief that Mr Edward Cullen aka Donald Eider could be handed over, to be dealt with as any VIP guest would be.

"Is he as good looking in the flesh as he is on screen?"

Bella raised an eyebrow. "What? Since when do you come out with swoon lines like that?"

Angela grinned and wagged her finger, "well, not usually, but then Edward Cullen is not the usual!"

Bella tried to laugh, which unfortunately sounded like a strangled bleat. "Yes, I think it's safe to say that he can climb on the 1st place pedestal as the one star who really does look better in the flesh."

Instead of the expected laugh, Angela looked worried. "Bells, what the hell happened last night? You breezed over details of the restaurant, but were you really okay? What happened when he ordered a drink?"

"Relax, Ang. I didn't have a drink. Actually, he was a complete gentleman. When he realised that I wasn't having anything alcoholic, he sent back the bottle of wine he'd ordered and had a soft drink instead."

"It couldn't have been easy, though, Bells. Are you sure you're okay? I haven't seen those shadows in your eyes for over a year. Maybe give your sponsor a call. At the very least, give Alice or Jasper a call."

"I'll think about it. Now off you go and impress our newest celebrity. We need to find the names of some agencies so that he can find a new PA. He fired the delightful Jane Arnold's arse last night."

Angela laughed, "I wish I had seen it! Why is it that VIP support staff are often worse than the VIP? Do you think I should let our favourite PR guru know? Just in case there's a backlash."

This is why Angela is Assistant GM, thought Bella. She understands the big picture while keeping a finger on the details. "Good call, Ang. Do that. Oh, could you also give me the shift sheets, please? I want to do some juggling to get more bodies on the floor for night shift."

With a quick salute, Angela left the office, leaving a pensive Bella staring at the screen of her laptop.

Angela's right. I should call someone. I can't risk falling off the wagon. She reached for her mobile and scrolled to Kate's name. Kate's mobile went straight to voicemail, so she left a message. "Hey, Kate, it's Bella. Could do with a quick word. Give me a call when you can."

Before she could call Alice, her mobile rang. "How do you do that, Alice?" Bella laughed, "I was just about to give you a call!" Alice's tinkling laugh made Bella grin. She could just picture Alice bouncing up and down at her desk.

"Hello, Isabelly! It's your favourite fairy godmother, here to solve your problems and turn your pumpkins into carriages!"

"Has Angela contacted you already? That was quick! Do you think the hotel will pick up any bad press from The Cullen – Arnold debacle?"

"No, Isabelly, I haven't heard from Angela, and I am blessedly unaware of that which you speak. I just had a feeling I needed to call you, so here I am, hanging on your every word with bated breath!"

"Ahh... my personal psychic strikes again! Actually, I have several things I want to talk to you about – some work, some personal. Are you free for lunch?" Bella eyes pricked as she took a deep breath, knowing that Alice would pick up on the emotion in her voice.

She was right. Alice's cheerful tone changed immediately, replaced by concern and love. "No problem, Bella. I'll see you in 15 minutes. Bella? I have a feeling you need to speak to Jasper too."

"As usual, my fairy godmother, you're right. I'll give him a call now. See you in a bit."

Bella's next call was to Jasper's practice. "Good afternoon, thank you for calling Dr Whitlock and Dr Hale's rooms. How may I help?"

Bella smiled at the warm voice, "Good afternoon, Esme. It's Isabella Swan. How are you?"

"Isabella! How wonderful to hear your voice! We haven't seen you here for several months! Would you like me to book an appointment for you?"

"Yes, please. That would be great. Sooner rather than later would be perfect, if possible?"

"Yes, of course. How does 9:30 tomorrow morning sound?"

One of the great things about Esme was that she didn't pry and didn't ask how you were. If you were calling Jasper's office, chances are that you weren't fine. People phoning a psychologist who specialised in addiction were very, very unlikely to be 'fine'. She was a motherly presence without being smothering, and caring without being intrusive.

"That sounds great, Esme, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You're welcome, Bella. Keep safe till then."

Bella's mobile chirped with a text from Alice that she had arrived. Giving Angela a quick call to tell her she would be away from her desk, she went to the foyer to meet Alice.

"Hey, Isabelly !" Alice jumped up to give Bella a hug, before dragging her out the hotel entrance. "I wish I could say you're looking good, but you actually look like shit. Way too beaten for us to chat in your hotel. Let's indulge in the anonymity that is Costa and go sit in Green Park."

Alice was a speed talker. In general, her words were unintelligible unless you were concentrating – very hard. Bella looked down at her best friend, trying to make sense of what sounded like a run on sentence, but gave up. It was usually easier just to wait for Alice to finish, or if Jasper was around, to get the cliff notes from him. Jasper was a walking Alice decoder.

Alice and Bella picked up their order and made their way to Green Park, Bella listening to Alice chatter about her job. Alice really was one of the best PR managers in the country, which is why Bella had her on retainer for the Metropolitan. Bella was so deep in thought about the PR profile of her hotel that it was a minute before she realised that Alice had stopped talking.

She glanced at Alice, who was looking at her with a smile. "When you're ready, Belly, talk. I'll wait for as long as you need." Alice's smile was gentle. It snagged on Bella's heart, knowing that Alice would love and support her, regardless of the mess she was currently generating in her life.

Bella's throat closed as she fought for breath. She looked out at the park, watching tourists and Londoners relaxing and walking. Alice was right – the anonymity was soothing. Where to start, though?

"Ali, I've managed to turn my life in to a shit storm in 48 hours and I'm barely treading water. The quick synopsis? I left Mike, almost had a drink, slept with a stranger and..." Bella's throat closed again.

"And what, Bella?"

"And my mother crept up and clubbed me over the head." Bella tried to smile, but it slid from her face as a sob broke free.

Alice put her arms around Bella as she broke down, sobbing on her shoulder. Alice held her, comforting and undemanding, waiting for Bella's tears to run dry so that she could continue. Bella straightened, fighting for composure.

"I don't know where to begin straightening out this mess, Ali. I'm afraid that any action will push everything off balance and I'll find myself at the bottom of a bottle and my life in the toilet again. I don't think I'm strong enough to come back from that place again."

Alice was quiet for a moment. "Bella, it seems to me that you have to begin with 2 choices – either continue on your own, or get input from an outside source. Which option do you want to take?"

"Right now, I have no faith in my own decisions. That's my problem, Ali! I'm scared to make any decisions! At this point, even a wrong breath will have me in free fall and I don't think I can make it through another relapse. I've let you down, Jasper, Mike... who else?" Bella began crying again.

"Do you trust me to make the choice for you? " Alice took Bella's face in her hands so that she was forced to meet her eyes.

"You know that I do. I trust you with my life."

"Well then, I think you should deal with the drinking first. If you can stay on top of that, it will at least be possible to deal with the rest. Did you call Kate? When last did you go to a meeting?" Bella flinched, knowing that it had been far too long.

"I left a message for Kate to give me a call. The meeting's tonight, so hopefully I can see her there. I also have an appointment with Jasper tomorrow morning."

Alice beamed. "Can you see, Belly, that you actually have already made some decisions, and they're the right ones. You already knew to handle the drinking first, before I suggested it. I'm so proud of you, Bella. You're more in control than you think."

Bella smiled at Alice's enthusiasm, feeling the words soak into her battered brain, easing the despair so that she could draw breath.

"Bella?" Alice's tone caught her attention. "You know that Jasper and I will prepare for an intervention just the same?"

Bella nodded, gathering Alice in a hug so tight she squealed.

"Okay, so let's move on to the rest of your woes." Alice burst out laughing. "That sounds so... dramatic!"

"Ali, dramatic is what you do best!"

Alice shrugged. "Actually, I can't wait to hear how you finally got Mike Newton out your life."

Bella's jaw dropped. "What? I thought you liked Mike? You've never said anything about not liking him!"

"Well, you were definitely not in any place to hear that I think he's a lazy, opinionated shit who's kept you from healing because it's safe for him to stay with you." Alice's expression was uncharacteristically hard. "You've been too scared to move on and he's been too comfortable to put you first. He's not a bad person, Bella. He's just bad for you."

"You may be right, Ali, but I still feel guilty as hell. I'm the one who has been avoiding any commitment, after all. I'm the one who's kept him waiting for a wedding date for over a year. I'm the one who wrote a Dear John letter, for Christ's sake, then did a midnight bunk!"

"A Dear John letter? Ooh, Belly, that's cold!" Alice tried to look disapproving, but a smile tugged at her mouth. "Seriously, Bella. That relationship has been bad news since your mother passed. You've been trying to inject meaning into it to ease the guilt you carry over your mum's death, but bad is bad, no matter how many pretty ribbons you tie around it."

Bella felt the blood drain from her face as she panted, trying to breath around the hole in her chest. Her ears were deafened by roaring and she watched Alice's lips move, desperately trying to make sense of the words. Alice pulled her close, resting Bella's head against her heart. Bella concentrated on the steady beats, slowly swimming up through the pain.

"Belly? Are you okay?"

Alice's gentle voice ghosted over her, lending her strength to keep breathing, keep living until she could find her own energy. Even the ridiculous nickname was a beacon, promising love and comfort.

"Yeah, I'm okay, Ali. Thank you." Bella hoped that Alice could hear all the emotion loaded in that thank you. Alice and Jasper had been there for her, day and night, true friends who had come through for her time and time again. The debt of gratitude was huge.

"It's probably best if you talk to Jazz about your mum. You really should be in a secure, controlled environment when you tackle that pain. Would you like me to be there with you tomorrow morning?"

"No. Thank you Alice, but no. I need to face it flying solo."

"Bella, you're a brave, brave woman. You can do this. If it gets too much, just ask and I'll be there." Alice stopped for a minute, examining Bella's face carefully. Clearly satisfied with what she saw there, she nodded to herself, before glee coloured her voice again. "Okay, so next part! Tell me all about the stranger you slept with!"

Bella blushed. "Now there's an elephant in the room! He's a new VIP at the hotel. He rocked up at the hotel last night without a reservation. I ended up having dinner with him – which is where I had to look a glass of Cabernet in the eye – and going back to his room."

Alice's expression darkened at the mention of the wine, before bouncing back into smiles. "Who is he? Was the sex good?"

"Would you believe me if I told you it was Edward Cullen? And my God, those were the best orgasms of my life!"

Alice practically drooled. "Belly, you sure do have good taste, I'll give you that. When you decide to step out, you do so in style!"

Bella laughed. "I hope he doesn't think it's part of the service the hotel supplies! I'm already having to look for agencies for him after he fired his PA last night. Maybe I should add it to the bill!"

"Impossible! You're class, babe, make no mistake! Alice sat for a moment, lost in thought. "Bella, would you mind introducing me to him? I've a business proposal I'd like to run passed him."

Bella blanched. "You're kidding, right? I'm trying to work it so I don't have to see him for the remainder of his stay! I've handed over his entire profile to Angela! Besides, wouldn't there be some sort of conflict of interest?"

"No, I don't think so. I'd like to discuss his plans to employ another PA. I'm thinking that he would be better served by a PR expert who can run interference at the coal face so to speak." She giggled at the mixed metaphors. "Think about it, Belly. With direct access to PR services, he could have immediate control of any exposure, positive or otherwise. My team could handle the logistical aspects that a traditional PA would fulfil. If I do my job right, it would cover publicist services too."

"Ali, it does sound like a good idea. I'm still not keen to introduce you to him myself though, so I'll ask Angela to set it up, okay?"

"Chicken!" Alice made clucking noises, complete with flapping wings.

Bella rolled her eyes, kissed her goodbye and headed back to the hotel.

There was a message to contact Angela when she got back to her desk. Oh, hell. What now. Why is it that I just know it's Edward Cullen? I need to leave soon to make the AA meeting. Shit, fuck, damn.

"Hey, Ang. I got your message. Please tell me there's no more drama with Mr Eider?"

"Hi, Bella. No, no drama. Man, that guy is hot! I went personally to his suite to check on him, and to give him the names of the agencies. He was very polite, but here's the thing: he wants to deal with you. I told him that you weren't in the hotel, and he smiled sweetly and said he'd wait. I have to say: he's one of the nicer VIPs we've had. His ego actually fits in the room!"

Bella grimaced, although in all honesty, it wasn't such a strange request. VIPs demand senior management – it's just part of the whole Rich, Famous and Obnoxious thing. In this case, though, Bella was fairly sure that it wasn't motivated by the usual of the RF&O ego. And there really was no way that she could realistically refuse to meet him.

She sighed, standing up and straightening her suit. This is going to be awkward! I suppose if all conversation fails, I can fall back on Alice.

The elevator took her to penthouse, leaving her in the foyer of his suite. She raised her hand to knock, only to have the door open under her hand. The suite's butler, Tyler opened the door. His face lit up when he saw Bella.

"Ms Swan! What a pleasure to see you!"

"Thank you, Tyler. Your service is 5 star, as usual. No wonder the Dorchester is trying to head hunt you!" She winked at him. It was actually true, but for reasons best known to Tyler, he had declined all offers.

"Ah, Ms Swan, you flatter me! Let me check if Mr Eider is able to see you now."

That gorgeous voice slid into their conversation from the next room. "I most definitely am able to see Ms Swan, Tyler."

Tyler frowned slightly and stepped aside to usher Bella into the suite.

Bella did a quick scan of the suite, noting that all was in order. Tyler was very good at his job, keeping the suite in pristine condition. All the suites had the services of a butler, to cater to, coddle and fulfill the slightest whim of the RF&O. It also helped her avoid meeting Edward's eyes.

"Thank you for coming to see me, Ms Swan. I appreciate you making yourself available. I know how busy your hotel is and have experienced first hand the personal service you give your guests. It must keep you extremely... busy."

She flushed at the double meaning of his words, furious with him for being so indiscreet in front of her staff. "Please don't mention it, Mr ... Eider. It's part of the service we offer all our guests. If you have any special needs, please ask Tyler. He will be pleased to be of service."

Edward's face flushed too. Their eyes snagged, Edward's angry and Bella's challenging, Edward looking away first. He ran his hands through his hair. "Tyler, please would you bring a bottle of sparkling water to the lounge."

Tyler nodded, his eyes moving between Bella and Edward. "Certainly, Mr Eider. I'll bring it through directly."

"Ms Swan, please join me. I would like to discuss the list of agencies that Angela gave me." Without another word, he walked out the room.

Bella stood for a moment, wanting to bolt. Wanting to stay. Wanting to do something about the surge of heat between her thighs at the sound of his voice. She sighed and followed him into the lounge.

He was standing at the window, side on to her. Grateful for the breather from his attention, she studied his body. He really was a beautiful man. He was tall, over 6", with a physique to match. Broad shoulders, defined chest and narrow hips. His hands were beautiful too: long tapered fingers balanced a large palm. She smiled, thinking about the bits she couldn't see – a perfect six pack, a gorgeous happy trail and, frankly, an awesome cock. She pulled her mind from the gutter, moving up to his face. The corner of his mouth curved, making her wonder what he was thinking. Embarrassed, she looked out the window, meeting Edward's eyes in the window's reflexion. He'd been watching her while she eye fucked him.

Tyler knocked on the door, putting the tray on the butler's station at the door. "Sir, Ms Swan. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Thank you, Tyler. That will be all." Edward turned back to the room, indicating that Bella should take a seat. She chose the Queen Anne chair so that he couldn't sit next to her. He laughed softly, seeing through her transparent choice.

"Bella, why did you run like that this morning?" He demanded. "I realise that it was somewhat... inappropriate to wake up with me, but hell, woman! I've ever had a woman scarper on me like that!" He winced. "Fuck! That makes me sound like a man whore! I've been thinking about you all day, trying to find the right words to ask what the fuck happened and instead, I shoot myself in the foot."

Bella couldn't help but laugh. From sex god to pouting teenager in 0.2 seconds. "Edward, I am sorry. You're right about being inappropriate, though. I broke hotel policy. I could lose my job."

"So why did you sleep with me?"

"Bloody hell – have you ever looked in a mirror? Sex on legs almost, almost, describes you!" Her face burst into flame at her verbal vomit. "Now it's my turn to say 'Fuck'! I'm sorry, Edward. That came out wrong." She sighed. "I honestly don't know. I've just ended a long term relationship and one night stands are way, way down my 'To Do' list."

He moved closer till he was leaning over her, his eyes on her bottom lip. "So we've established that we both behaved out of character. Why don't we see where this," he gestured in the space between them, "takes us? Last night was magical. I don't want to walk away from that."

Bella looked away. She didn't want to be so close to him. He smelled so damn good, her pussy salivated. "Edward, you don't know me at all. I have a complex, difficult life, one that is threatening to explode, depositing shit in a very wide radius. Your life is lived in public view. The two just can't meet. Yes, the sex was great. In fact, I'll even give you mind blowing. But there really can't be anything else."

Edward looked like he wanted to argue, but what, after all, was there left to say? Several expressions crossed his face, settling on friendly. "Okay. Enough said", said Edward cheerfully. "Let's be friends then, even if it's without benefits." He flopped down onto the couch, grinning at her with that damn panty dropping smile that made her pussy wet. She wriggled uncomfortably, fairly sure he knew exactly what he was doing to her.

"Um... okay. Thank you." She struggled to move her focus from the throbbing between her thighs so somewhere further North. And to ignore the pout from inner Bella.

"Actually, I do have some business I wanted to discuss with you. I really can't face interviewing hundreds of girls. Would you mind shortlisting for me? If you use the same judgement that you use to run this hotel, I'm sure I'll end up with someone suitable." He grinned at her, a friendly smile this time that carried no sex, no innuendo. His scent was still a problem for her hissing pussy, but at least her brain could function. How the hell could he turn charm on and off like a light switch?

"No problem – I'll help out with pleasure. Have you received CVs yet?"

"Tyler?" Edward called.

"The door opened immediately, "Yes, Mr Eider, how can I help?"

"Please bring me the CVs from the study."

"Certainly, Sir." He returned with a 10" pile of paper.

"Jesus! If I'd known how many there were, I wouldn't have agreed so quickly!" Bella laughed. "This is going to take a while. Do you mind if I take them home with me?"

"Well, I don't know..." Edward tapped his lip, thoughtfully. "They'd just be in a different part of the hotel, so they might as well stay here. Which means you should just work here in my suite tonight!" He threw her a mischievous grin.

Bella's heart sank. "I have a meeting tonight, and won't be up to working when I get back. Can we pick this up tomorrow?"

"Yeah, no problem." Edward stood up to pour the water. "I don't want to leave it much longer though – I really do need to get a PA on board before I go back to LA."

Bella hesitated, "You know, I think I actually do have a solution for you. I would like you to meet the hotel's PR Exec. She was running some ideas by me at our last meeting, and I suspect you'll like what she has to say. Can I give her a call to set up an appointment?"

"I'm curious. What does she have in mind?"

"Na-uh – I'll leave Alice to tell you. She'll be able to give you full details. What time will you be available tomorrow?"

"I'm going to be here all day reading scripts, so I'll fit in with her. I might take the Jacuzzi for a test drive. Care to join me?" Edward leered at her and burst out laughing at her expression. "I was kidding, Bella. Lighten up!"

Bella had to giggle at him. So far, she had seen Gentleman Edward, Sex God Edward and Pouting Teenager Edward, but this one, Teasing Edward, was her current favourite.

"Let me give her a call now to finalise." Bella dialled Alice and stood up to pour more water. Alice answered immediately, with a characteristic bounce in her voice.

"Hey, Isabelly! Let me guess... You're standing in Edward's suite, calling to make an appointment for me to meet him!"

"Ali, one day you will explain to me how the hell you do that! You're spot on! Edward wants to hear your proposal. Can you make time tomorrow? Also, take it down a notch – he can hear you from across the room!"

"Abso-fucking-lutely! How does 11:30 sound?"

Bella raised an eyebrow at Edward, who nodded. "Okay, 11:30 it is. I'll organise a light lunch for the three of us. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Belly, are you going tonight? Did Kate call you back?"

"Alice, I can't talk right now, but yes, I am and no, she didn't. I'll call you tonight if it's not too late." Bella cringed, hoping that Edward hadn't heard that bit of the conversation.

"Oh, sorry, love. Okay, big hugs, kisses and loves from Jasper and I. I'll speak to you later."

"Bye, Ali."

She looked up to find Edward watching her closely. "I gather she's a friend as well as colleague?"

"Yes, she's my best friend, but it has no bearing on the meeting you're having with her."

"Sorry, Bella, I wasn't implying anything; I was just curious. And a little jealous."

This conversation was getting way too personal again. Bella checked her watch, glad that she really did need to leave immediately if she was to make the meeting.

"I need to leave now if I'm going to make it across the river for my meeting, and you know what traffic will be like. I'll see you tomorrow at 11am, with Alice Brandon. I'll tell Tyler on my way out. Have a good evening, Edward." She smiled at him, holding out her hand. He took her hand, but instead of shaking it, he pulled her closer to place a gentle kiss on her brow.

"Take care of yourself, my Bella. Sleep well." He turned away and walked into the study, leaving a dazed Bella with very wet underwear.

Tyler was waiting in the foyer for Bella as she stepped out of the room, letting him know that Edward... Mr Eider... had an 11:30 appointment.

"Have a good evening, Ms Swan,"

"Thank you, Tyler. Please know that I appreciate your loyalty to the Metropolitan. It's a pleasure to have you as part of the team."

"Ms Swan, it's a good team because you run it. My loyalty is to you, not the Metropolitan. I'm sure that many of my colleagues feel the same way."

"That is kind, Tyler. Thank you. Good night."

That wasn't good. As personally ego boosting as his comment was, it was undesirable for the hotel. Ultimately, the hotel paid salaries, not Bella. Perhaps she should meet with HR, just to make sure all was in order. She shelved the thought for tomorrow – right now, she needed to focus on herself.

The drive to the AA meeting was as awful as she'd anticipated, and she was pissed off and ratty by the time she arrived at the church hall. The parking lot was full, and Bella debated if this was a good or a bad thing. Big meetings meant late finishes, but small meetings could be tougher. She walked into the hall and found a seat near the front.

After the usual preliminaries, the group leader opened the floor. Bella stood up and walked to the front.

"Good evening, everyone. My name is Bella and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober for 379 days. I know there are some of you who are at the very beginning of your journey. I don't want to dishearten you, but for me, today, it feels like I'm on Day 1 again. I let my guard down for a split second and found myself face to face with a glass of wine. The defences that have taken 378 days to build collapsed in an instant because I dropped my guard. Please, all. Make yourselves safe. Create a safe environment for yourselves in which you can lead a normal life. It is possible. Thank you for letting me share."

The Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.