A/n hello everyone, here's the next chapter. Thank you all for your kind reviews and everyone that has added this to their alerts.

Disclaimer: Must I say it again?

Sometimes it's hard to fight

"That's alright, but I want you to get something to eat. I have something to tell you."

"I'm not hungry doctor I-"

"I see how pale you are, and the nurse said you've been here for two hours this morning. I'll bet you didn't have anything to eat this morning." Dr. Singh said, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder and a squeezing it.

"No… I didn't but -"

"Dr. Reid… there are things we have to do for your mother, one of which is turning her. This has to be done every two hours. It'll help keep her circulation healthy and prevent bed sores." A new nurse had entered the room.

She was almost as tall as Reid, and black. Her head was covered with jaunty black curls that reminded him of Garcia. Her eyes were a very deep brown, but they were full of warmth, and she was looking at his mother like she was a close friend. Her maroon scrubs and white shoes inspired confidence for some reason he couldn't put his finger on.

"Lisa's right," The doctor said as he gently, but firmly steered Reid toward the door. "She'll take good care of your mother."

Reid had no choice in the matter. He left the room with Dr. Singh and let the man push him in the direction of the elevator.

The corridor was very long that morning. It seemed to him that that it got longer with every step he took, like the hallway in a recurring nightmare. The white walls and the tiled floors in front of him were beginning to get blurry and his head was buzzing.

"Dr. Reid… Are you alright?" There were grey and black spots collecting in front of his eyes and he stumbled. He felt the pressure of the doctor's hand on his arm and then there was only blackness.

When he opened his eyes, he was looking up at the white ceiling. There was a spot right above his head that looked like red blood, but of course that couldn't be right, could it? Surely someone cleaned regularly and that wouldn't be missed, would it?

"Dr Reid…"

Dr. Singh's face appeared in his line of vision. "What happened…?" Reid crooked at the doctor.

"You passed out on your way to the elevator."

"I did…" Reid asked sounding very surprised and confused?

Another doctor appeared over his head. She had ruler straight red hair cut in a wedge around her round face. Her eyes were as green as he'd very seen and she was frowning down at him. "I'm Dr. Marissa Jones, one of the emergency room doctors. I'm still waiting for some test results, but I'd say your blood sugar crashed.

"But I feel fine." Reid protested, trying to sit up. He got dizzy again and dropped back down on the pillows.

"You'll stay where you are, and get some rest and something to eat," both doctors chorused at him and grinned at each other. He scowled up at both of them.

"I can't stay here. I have to get back to my mother."

"Dr. Reid… you mother isn't going anywhere for the time being. You've been under a terrible strain and you will rest here." Dr. Jones ordered.

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Dr. Singh left the young doctor to stew over this order. He went back to the elevator and headed back up to the seventh floor. Lisa was updating Diana Reid's chart when he stepped off the elevator.

"How is he…?" She asked.

"Dr. Jones said he's fine. He's in good physical condition, except for being a little underweight. I'm sure he just needs something to eat."

"Did you tell him about his mother?" Lisa asked, clutching the chart in her hands.

"No… He's not up to it."

"But don't you think he should know?"

'When Dr. Jones tells him he can come back up here, I'll tell him. Till then, he needs a chance to rest without worrying about his mother."

Lisa watched the doctor head back to the elevator and his office. He was pleasant to work with, but sometimes his closed lipped ways were a bit annoying, to say the least. Anyway… he didn't think he was God like some of the doctors she'd worked for in her career.

"I hope you know what you're doing." she muttered, before heading off to do her rounds."

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"Are you going to let me out of here?" Reid asked, not bothering to disguise the impatience in his voice.

"I used to think that when people said doctors are the worst patients, they were overreacting, but now that I've met you, I'm re-evaluating that position."

"You're not making a friend doctor." Reid responded. "I'm not a medical doctor so that opinion doesn't apply to me. I'm not diabetic, just a little worn out from watching and waiting for my mom to wake up."

"You're right, Dr. Reid. I got your test results and you're not diabetic or anemic. Your blood sugar was very low, which is why you passed out."

"Can I go now? I ate the lunch the nurse gave me." He gestured at the tray sitting on the rolling table next to the bed.

"Yes… You can go." The doctor conceded. She dropped a hand on his arm and stared him down when he glared at her. "Make sure you eat. If I see you in here again, I'll admit you, and make sure the nurses keep you in your room. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am…" He saluted her and she grinned back at him before leaving the room.

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His mother hadn't woken when he got back to her room. Not that he expected any change. The doctor would have told him if anything changed. She was still hooked up to the ventilator and the IVs were still infusing her arms. It was like living déjà vu over and over again.

"Mom… It's Spencer again. I'm sorry I was gone for a little while. I went to get something to eat."

He sat down and reached over to finger the yellow blanket that covered his mother to her chest. It was soft to the touch and reminded him of his favorite blanket when he was four.

"Hey Spencer… Its time for you to go to sleep, you have school tomorrow." His mother's voice echoed in his head like a long forgotten dream.

"Mama… I don't want to go to school, they hate me there."

His mother had pushed back his hair with one cool hand. One finger touched the bruise on his cheek and he flinched.

"I know its hard baby, but I love you and I know you can get through this. You're strongest one in this house."

"Mom… you thought I was strong but I wasn't! I was only a little kid. You should have tried to protect me."

"Why are you letting them take me away Spencer? You know I don't want to go I want to stay here. I don't have to go with these fascist pigs. Spencer…. Please don't let them take me away. Spencer…"

"I'm sorry mom, but you need help."

"I don't need help and I don't need you. You're weak, just like your bastard of a father. I hate you!"

"I was only trying to help you mom. I wish you could've believed in that." Tears were threatening again as more memories began to pour in on him like sands in washing away in the tide.

He remembered his graduation from high school. It was a good time when she was taking her meds. For the first time in a long time, he wasn't embarrassed to see her at a school function, not even when she jumped up, and began to clap and cheer when he was introduced as class valedictorian.

It was his mother that taught him to ride a bike. That same bike was stolen from him the first day he rode it to school.

She locked him in the hall closet whenever she was off her meds and convinced that he was a government agent there to spy on her.

She read books of poetry and 15th century English literature to him before his tenth birthday.

She ignored the bruises and the broken bones from the bullies at school. It was easier to pretend they didn't exist.

He cooked and he cleaned, and he did his homework. He did everything he could to maintain a mask of normalcy for eight years after his dad left. He became such a good actor, that he didn't know who he was under the false face.

He wiped at his red eyes again, and tried to speak but his voice was hoarse, and his vocal cords refused to work against the sobs that were caught in his throat and choking him. He swallowed as hard as he could past the lump in his throatWhen his voice was his own again, it squeaked.

"I know you were sick mama, but why did you let it go on. You took your meds for awhile when I was young. Why did you rely on me?"

She lay there with her eyes wide open and staring into something he couldn't see and she didn't answer him.

"I love you mama. I'm sorry that your mind turned against you, but you should have protected me. I was your son. It was your responsibility.

He bent his head to her bed and cried for a very long time before someone touched him. "Dr. Reid… I need to speak with you." Dr. Singh said softly.

Reid looked up and Dr. Singh was stunned by the depth of pure sorrow and suffering in the young man's eyes. His eyes were huge and full of tears. He looked like a small child. Didn't this man have anyone in his life to help him through this?

"Come out to the family room with me."

Reid let the doctor usher him out of his mother's room and down the hall back to the family waiting room. "Dr. Reid… Your mother's condition is worsening. Her vitals are meandering down. The meds we're giving her aren't working the way we expected."

"W-what're y-you trying to say?" Reid asked, his voice trembling and cracking badly.

"I'm saying that a lot of this depends on your mother. The patient's willingness to fight has a lot to do with the outcome of any battle with disease."

"But how can she fight this, if she's unconscious." Reid knew that attitude was a great part of the battle, but his mother was a schizophrenic. Did she have that ability anymore?

"I've told you that talking to her can help. You have to encourage her to come back and fight this. Science and medicine can only do so much Dr. Reid."

"Alright... I'll do everything I can to get through to her. Can I go back and see her?"

Dr. Singh patted his shoulder. "I think that's the best idea."

Reid went back to his mother's room and approached her bed as though it might blow up. "Hi mom… I'm back. I just talked to the doctor. He told me t-that…" His voice was beginning to crack and tremble again "The doctor said that you gotta fight this thing mom. They're d-doing everything t-they can to h-help you b-but you have to want to w-wake up and get b-better."

She'd been turned again and was lying on her back once more. Her eyes were still open and staring into something unseen and he wished that would light up like they did when he was a kid and they discovered a new poem together, or when a rainstorm began in the summertime and she dragged him out to walk in the rain.

"Mom… y-you can't leave yet. We have so m-much to t-talk about and to do. Maybe soon they'll f-find a cure for you. Please try mom! I still n-need you. Let's show the doctor that he's wrong about you. Please mom! "

She didn't move or acknowledge his words in any way. "Mom… I won't l-let you die. Do you h-hear me? I'll s-stay here and t-talk to you till you're sick of my v-voice and have to wake up and tell me to s-shut up. Come on mom, wake up and tell me to stop talking!"

There was a change in the heart monitor and alarms began to buzz and scream. The doctor and some nurses came running in when a voice began to call "code blue," for his mother's room number. Reid tried to fight the doctor and the nurses that invaded the room, and began shouting to one another, but the doctor made him leave the room.

He watched them through the window to the room as they worked over his mother. It seemed like they worked forever, but when he saw the nurse glance at the clock and then speak to the doctor, he knew that is was over.

"Dr. Reid…"

He didn't want to see in the doctor's eyes what he could hear in the man's voice. The doctor looked right into the young man's eyes.

"I'm sorry Dr. Reid. We did everything we could, but we couldn't save her."

"No…. I don't believe you. There has to be something else you can do."

"There's nothing else to do Dr. Reid. I'm so very sorry."

"Get out of my way!" Reid screamed at the doctor. He pushed the man out of his path and ran into his mother's room. A nurse jumped back in surprise when the young man ran into the room and fell down at the side of Diana Reid's bed.

"Mama… Please don't go! Don't leave me here all alone. I promise I'll be a good boy. Please come back! I'll take care of you from now on. Mama…."

"Sir you need to let us take care of her now." The nurse begged the young man, but he seemed to be deaf to her pleas.

Dr. Singh entered the room and gestured to the nurse who was trying to get Dr Reid to leave. "Let him stay here for awhile. He needs to say goodbye."

They left the young man with his mother. The only sound they heard as they left the room was the racking sobs of a young man whose heart was shattered in pieces.

I watched you die I heard you cry Every night in your sleep I was so young You should have known better than to lean on me You never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain And now I cry In the middle of the night for the same damn thing