Disclaimer: i don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does.
Chapter 4 - Lessons to be Learnt
Draco flipped through the pile of bank statements and growingly aggressive letters from lenders one last time and sighed in frustration. If only he had waited until after the cheque had exchanged hands before making that awful scene. He hated himself for having to accept it, but he hated himself more for the desperate financial situation his typical pride and spite had put them in for the next month. He dragged his hands through his hair and stood up, scraping the chair back loudly in the dingy kitchen. He got out two cups and began to brew some tea, automatically going through the magical motions while his thoughts churned through the same depressing loop of guilt, doubt and self-disgust. Both mugs in hand; he walked through the living room and to Scorpius' bedroom door and paused outside listening. He hadn't heard anything from him since they had returned from lunch five hours previously in that horribly tense silence. Draco, too cowardly to do more than lightly press Scorpius' shoulder during the apparition, and Scorpius, clearly too full of hurt and betrayal to do less than flinch at the contact.
Draco took a deep breathe and knocked tentatively on the door. There was no reply.
"Scorpius, I've made you a cup of tea. Please can I come in?" Silence. "Look, you need to drink something, you'll be dehydrated." And with that he creaked open the door. The small, plain room was dimly lit by the lamp next to his son's bed, the soft glow illuminating the various quidditch posters and photographs on the wall. Draco's old Slytherin scarf; usually wrapped around the bedstead had been thrown against the opposite wall, as had the worn, soft green dragon toy that Draco had given him as a baby just before his incarceration. Scorpius was lying on his side in bed, facing the bedside table, one arm outstretched and holding a picture frame that Draco knew held a photo of him as a baby with his Mother, the other arm holding a ratty old blanket tightly to his body. Scorpius didn't look up at Draco, but he didn't need to for Draco to see the tell tail puffy redness of his eyes.
Draco sat down at the foot of his bed and put his tea down on the floor. He placed the other on the small table and gently put his hand on the duvet covering Scorpius' leg.
"Hey." He gave it a small shake. The words sounded insignificant before he'd even said them. "I'm sorry." Scorpius let out a shaky breathe. "Please Scorp, I am, really sorry." The boys pale blue eyes finally flicked over and acknowledged him. "Please forgive me for what I did today... I just- I just acted incredibly immaturely and I know I hurt you."
"You lied to me." Scorpius' horse voice was tiny and Draco fought a wild compulsion to cry.
"I know, I'm so sorry. I should have told you about Hogwarts sooner. But I couldn't do it, not when telling you would have upset you so much. I wanted you to at least see Burbage first, so the news didn't seem so bad."
"So instead, you told me in front of all of them?" Draco longed to look away from the baleful reproach in his son's eyes, but he needed Scorpius to understand his sincerity.
"Scorpius, I'm not sure what I can say to you, to make this better. What I did today was inexcusable behaviour and I put myself and my own issues above you. I'm trying to be a better person, to be a good Father to you, but sometimes I forget." I am not like my own Father. He thought wretchedly.
"Then let me go to Hogwarts." He pleaded softly.
"I'm sorry Scorpius, but you're not going."
"But why? They said they'd pay for me, if this is about money? Why can't I just go?" Draco sighed and wondered how on earth he could explain his incoherent jumble of reasons to his son and sound vaguely convincing. Of course it was mostly about the money, but how could he explain that by allowing Scorpius' Grandparents to pay for his schooling, their influence over him would inevitably grow, as Draco's relationship with him would perish. How to explain that without the boy's physical closeness and vitality reminding Draco of his purpose, then how would he keep on going?
"You remember at lunch, when you said the word, Mudblood?" Scorpius looked quickly down from Draco and fingered his blanket nervously. "How did that make you feel?" Draco could see the tears begin to well up again. He put his hand gently up to the boys shoulders and gave him a small squeeze. "Hey, shush, let's stop all of that. Just be honest with me." Scorpius let out a shuddering breath.
"Horrible." He whispered. Draco felt a tiny surge of relief.
"Why?"
"Mum hated it when people said it. She hated people being mean about muggles and muggle borns. I miss her so much still. I forgot that she didn't want me to be like that..." He trailed off, one of his small fingers stroking the photo of his Mother's smiling face.
"Please don't feel bad, Scorp. It's understandable to get caught up in what people are saying around us, particularly people you admire and love like your Grandparents." Draco paused and tried to word what he wanted to say carefully. "When your Mother and I had you, we made a decision to raise you differently to how we had been brought up. I grew up thinking that I was better than witches and wizards with muggle parents, despite being confronted by clear evidence once I got to school that I was wrong. The woman that everyone today was calling a mudblood, was none other than the brightest witch in our school, despite her parents being muggles. It's because of her that I am even with you today." Draco smiled at his son's sign of surprise. "If she hadn't stood up at my trial and told the jury that I wasn't completely bad, then I would still have a lot longer to serve in Azkaban. Her and her friend stood up for me when all of my pureblood friends had abandoned me." There was silence for a few moments while this information was digested. Draco could see Scorpius' mind working and knew what was coming.
"What did you do Dad? Why were you in jail? Was it to do with The Dark Lord? No one ever talks about it." Draco swallowed and automatically ran his finger up his shirt sleeve to touch the skin still disfigured by the burnt scar of the dark mark. They rarely spoke about his time in prison and especially not his reasons for going in, but tonight was a night for honesty.
"Yes it was. I got mixed up in a group of dark wizards who believed to such an extent of their superiority of pure blood over that of muggle borns, that we were willing to go to terrible and extreme lengths to prove it."
"Did you ever kill anyone?" Scorpius asked quietly, lying perfectly still and staring up with those large pale eyes. Draco shook his head and his son relaxed slightly.
"No, but I was put in a position where it was expected of me. Those thoughts - the ones of blood superiority and mudbloods, is where it all started out. If I hadn't been surrounded by people telling me that I was superior because I was a Malfoy then I would have ended up on a very different path. Do you understand where I am going with this?"
"You don't want me to be like you?" He replied slowly. Draco smiled gently.
"If I send you off to Hogwarts and you go into Slytherin like you've always wanted then what will happen when your new friends are bullying muggle borns. Will you stand up for them?" Scorpius nodded furiously. "Scorp, we like to think that we'll do the right thing, but as we both found out today, it's far easier to allow yourself to be swept along in the moment. Of course I don't think you could be a bully, but after 7 years surrounded by those attitudes even the strongest person would be hard pressed to come out completely undamaged. I had a long time to think while I was in prison. I thought about everything that I had done wrong and how I could go about fixing it all when I got out. You were and still are my main priority and I won't allow your Mother's wishes for you to be for nothing. I want you to have the choices that I never had growing up. If you decide that you dislike muggles, for whatever reason, that's fine because at least it will be on your own terms. If you decide that you love muggles... Well, that's fine too." He added shortly.
"What about a muggle girlfriend?" Scorpius said with a tiny giggle. Draco snorted.
"Well, one thing at a time... Come on, drink your tea before it gets cold. Do you fancy a game of chess before supper?" Scorpius gave one last shuddering sigh and picked up his cup. Draco felt his body relax for the first time all day. They would be OK.
Draco awoke the next morning to the sound of talons tapping at his bedroom window. He blearily rubbed his eyes and sat up in the darkened room. He checked his watch, saw that it was already nine and yawned. At least he had managed a few hours sleep. It had already been light by the time he'd managed to calm his churning thoughts enough to drift off.
The tapping grew more urgent and he swore under his breath, before getting up and crossing the room to jerk open the blinds. He pushed open the window and a large eagle owl hopped through, not unlike the one he had when he was younger. He recognised at once as belonging to Blaise, but couldn't for imagine for a second what he wanted with him. Draco reached out and removed the bundle from the owls leg, but not before it lunged for his hand, drawing blood with dart of its nasty beak. "Fuck! I bet Zabini asked you to do that, you great brute! Get out!" He swiped at the owl with the letter and it swooped back out of his room. He decided that whatever Blaise had to say, it could wait until after coffee.
Draco left his room and crossed the living space into the small kitchen area. "Scorpius?" He called. There was no answer. He noticed a note on the table. In Scorpius' spidery, cramped handwriting it read: Father, there is nothing for breakfast, so I've gone to Jakes. Draco frowned and banged open the cupboards finding nothing but some old dried pasta, a stale box of crackers and some tinned vegetables. He sighed guiltily and reached for the jar of instant coffee, spooned some into a mug, added water from the tap and impatiently heated it up with his wand. He sat down heavily with the drink and opened the letter.
Malfoy
I thought you may be interested in reading this little gem about your favourite muggle born witch.
Also, I couldn't help but notice that in the madness of your departure yesterday, you left without your usual cheque. I just wanted to remind you that if ever you change your mind, a job at Zabini Ltd is always open.
Yours, Blaise
Draco snored as he sipped the unpleasant, already cooling coffee. When hell freezes over will I be going to you for help. He unfolded the other slip of paper which appeared to be a ripped out from a tabloid newspaper. Hermione Granger Off the Rails. The accompanying photograph was slightly out of focus and very badly lit but showed an obviously inebriated Granger lying back in the arms of a clearly muggle man on a grassy lawn. Granger's dress had ridden sluttily up her thighs and one of the man's hands rested on her legs idly. They lent together for a sloppy kiss before letting their heads fall back laughing. Draco raised his eyebrows. Well this was different. He began to read.
Hermione Granger, new headmistress of the controversial school, Burbage High, showed this weekend just how far she was willing to embrace muggle culture. The man in question is rumored to be one of the many muggle ex boyfriends of Harry Potter and while it is known the two ex-heroes share a close friendship, what wasn't clear that this extended to sharing sexual partners. While Potter is well know for his debauched lifestyle and promiscuity, it was thought, until now, that Granger kept her distance from this darker side to his life. While aspersions in the past have been made at the influence that Potter has over those closest to him, we can now see the damaging effects that he has wrought. Granger notoriously broke off her engagement to the 3rd member of the 'Golden Trio,' Mr Ron Weasley nearly ten years ago. While the details were never made public it was imagined to be related to Potter's coming out and the wedge that drove between his friends and family. Ten years on and still single, how much more damage can Potter's influence do to Grangers life? Turning to alcohol, partying and muggle one-night-stands, how much further can she fall?
Draco snorted. He felt mildly disturbed by the article and photo, but Potter a bad influence on Granger? If there was anyone who could not be influenced or swayed by other people, it was Hermione Granger. The picture was unfortunate, but he understood better than most about how the press could twist something innocent. To be honest it was almost a relief to see that Granger was as human as everyone else, even if her choice in muggle men was quite frankly, troubling. Granted, they'd all been there. When the loneliness became too much, and as shameful and degraded shagging muggles made Draco feel in retrospect, at least he hadn't been getting someone else's seconds. As for Harry Potter. Well, Draco felt more that a little contempt for the wizard. When Draco had discovered what Harry had chosen to do with his life - namely nothing, he had felt inexplicably disappointed. It was ridiculously really, considering how much he had hated Harry at school; he should be happy he had turned out to be such a loser.
At that moment, Scorpius burst through the door and Draco slid the paper back into the envelope. "Morning Father! Sorry I went out, I was really hungry and you looked really tired."
"What did you have at Jake's?"
"Pop tarts. Then we watched nickelodeon. Pokemon was on!" He chirped, flinging himself on the sofa. That sentence meant absolutely nothing to Draco.
"What is Pokemon?" He warily picked out of the three.
"It's this cartoon on TV about this boy called Ash who has these Pokemon, which are these cool animals that he keeps in little magic balls." In his enthusiasm the small boy began to gesticulate wildly, as if miming it out would help Draco understand what he meant. "When he gets into a dual, (which he does all the time,) instead of using a wand he gets his Pokemon out of the balls and does different kinds of magic through them, on to the other wizard's Pokemon until they faint! My favourite is Pikachu! I really want one..." He drifted off. "Hey you know, Jake's older sister has a baby and she can't get a job either, Dad."
"Oh right?" Draco smiled. He loved it when Scorpius tried to give him job hunting advice.
"Yeah, he said shes got this thing called 'benefits' which is what the government give people who can't get a job. It's actually money, so they don't die of hunger." He said it in an offhand way but Draco felt the familiar churn of guilt. It clashed horribly with his own empty stomach. Somehow he didn't feel like they'd be eligible for muggle welfare.
"We will not die of hunger Scorpius." He said with forced confidence. Scorpius glanced up and gave him an odd smile.
"I know that. Last week we watched Robin Hood. It's about a gang of foxes that steal from the rich and give to the poor." Scorpius went on slowly, as if calculating how his Dad would take what was coming. "Jake told me that's kind of what his older brother does, though they don't see him no more. I was thinking, with us being wizards, shouldn't all that be pretty easy? Can't you just magic some money off someone? I mean, someone who doesn't need it of course?"
"It's 'anymore', not, 'no more', Scorpius." He corrected before continuing; "So you're suggesting that we become wizarding master thieves? Sharing our illicitly gotten wares throughout the poor amongst our community?" Scorpius giggled and jumped up from the sofa.
"I could be your young apprentice!" he said enthusiastically. Draco laughed loudly.
"Scorpius, I don't think turning to crime is the answer. Using magic on muggles like that is a serious offence. I've already been to jail once and I don't intend on returning. That is probably where Jakes older brother is by the way. You should tell him incase he gets any ideas to follow in his footsteps." Scorpius looked uneasily at his hands as he slumped back on the sofa. Little did he know how close he had gotten to the truth. Draco wasn't sure how many more times he could confundus their landlord when he came to collect the rent, before he started to notice the irregularities in his accounts. "Come on, let's get ready to leave. Burbage High is all the way over on the south of the river and you know how long it takes me to do the underground."
"Do we have to go?"
"Yes! Now get in the shower!"
