September, 2008
The Cullen House
Esme's POV
It was so quiet in our large home. Edward and Bella were the only sources of sound besides the quiet thrumming of electricity coming from our appliances. Without the quiet conversation above me the silence would have been deafening. I tried not to eavesdrop, but couldn't help but smile to myself as I overheard their flirty banter. It thrilled me seeing Edward like this. He was finally letting himself be a 17 year old. For too many years I feared that maybe he was changed too early, that mentally or emotionally he might not be capable of a relationship like the one he had with Bella. I was certainly proved wrong.
"Your eyes are so dark, you should have gone with the others." Bella whispered
I tried to block their conversation by editing some blueprints I had saved to my laptop earlier but concern for Edward flashed through my brain. As much as I loved him spending time with Bella, he needed to hunt. There was no reason for him to be in pain. I'm sure at this point my thoughts became unmuted to Edward because he sighed in a way that seemed like he was responding to both of us.
I'm sorry but she's right. I thought.
"I didn't want to leave you, but I suppose you are right. It's getting late. I could drive you home, if you'd like." Edward muttered.
I heard a shifting of fabric and weight and I assumed he was holding her at this point.
"No,I want to stay so I can see you once you get back." Bella protested
"Okay." Edward replied ,a sound resembling a kiss following quickly after
I sunk lower in the couch as Edward and Bella descended the stairs, feeling embarrassed for being the third wheel. I knew Bella wouldn't mind, as she didn't know the difference but I had no desire to meet the grimace on Edward's face because of my snooping.
Edward chuckled softly behind me, momentarily resting his hand on my shoulder. "You're fine. Now you know how I felt when you were a newborn and I had to hear all the silly little conversations you had with Carlisle. Particularly the one-"
Embarrassment flooded my entire being. "Thank you, Edward. I think that's enough." I choked
He flashed me a smile before speaking so softly only a vampire could hear.
"Will you look after Bella for me? She insists on staying while I join the others to hunt. I should be able to catch up with them if I'm fast."
You're always fast.
Edward rolled his eyes before continuing, "Bella is exhausted but she's fighting it, I don't think she'll be awake much longer anyway but try not to keep her up. She needs to sleep." He whispered
Edward I'm not going to bother her. Just go so that you can catch up with the rest.
"Thank you." He muttered before pressing a kiss into the crown of my head.
You're welcome, dear.
I looked out to the far window to watch Edward's form fade quickly into the distance. A moment later the scent of freesia overwhelmed my senses. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella shyly make her way down the stairs.
"Hello,Bella. Did you need something? If you are hungry I could make you something to eat."
Bella tried not to flinch when I approached her so quickly. I silently cursed myself. I was too excited to remember human movement.
"I'm sorry. I'm still not used to having a human in the house." I teased.
Bella grinned and touched my elbow as an apology. "It's s'okay. It's just my dumb human reflexes. I just came down for a glass of water...maybe some company."
"Of course. Are you sure I can make you anything? We make frequent grocery trips to avoid suspicion. I can make you anything you'd like. Spaghetti,coq au vin,pancakes-"
I could feel Bella's anxiety creep back over her features.
"Esme, you don't have to do all of that. I think a glass of water will suffice."
I realized how pushy I was being. I couldn't help it. As repulsive as human food smelled to me now it was still fun to cook and Bella was the only excuse to ever use the kitchen. I focused for a millisecond and tried to contain myself
"I'm sorry. I just get excited about you being here." I confessed as I grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the dispenser on the fridge.
Her hand was so warm when I handed her the glass.
"You don't have to apologize, Esme. I just know you don't eat and – I just- I don't want to intrude."
My heart sank. Intrude?
"Bella, you have never intruded. We are all so happy to have you sit with me for a bit." I said as I slowly guided her to the couch.
About an hour had gone by since I convinced Bella to sit down with me. I had finally managed to get her to relax. I turned the television on but neither of us even bothered to pay attention. I never realized how many questions Bella must have had for me. How strange this whole situation must be for her. I hadn't known about vampires until I was one. I couldn't imagine what staying in a vampire's house must feel like to a human.
I could tell Bella was fighting her hardest to stay awake. I really should have urged her to get to bed but I had to admit I enjoyed her company and it was rare for us to have a moment alone.
"Esme, can I ask you something?" Bella mumbled sleepily
I unfolded a throw from atop the couch and covered her.
"You can ask me anything." I smiled.
Bella's brown eyes stared into mine. "How long have you and Carlisle been together?"
Without hesitation I answered," We will have been married for 87 years this August."
Bella's eyes widened just ever so slightly. "I can't imagine being married for that long."
I chuckled. "I suppose I can say I never thought I would have been married this long, either."
For a brief moment I thought back about all the things Carlisle and I had shared. Then I noticed the blush in Bella's cheeks. I tried not to smile.
"Are you alright?" I asked
Bella stuttered "Yeah, I-I'm fine. I just- Can I ask you something? I never knew how to bring this up with Edward and he hates thinking of me as one day immortal-"
"Sweetheart, as I said you can ask me anything you'd like. Don't be embarrassed." I patted her hand.
Bella looked down at the throw on top of her and played with the fringe. " How long will it be after I'm changed until- until I want again?" She asked her blush quickly rushing to the rest of her face.
Oh.
I thought back to my time as a newborn. Sure, my thoughts had been focused on the sharp fire in my throat and trying with utmost care to not rip every door off its hinge,but thoughts were different in this life. You could be thinking about several different things simultaneously. I couldn't deny the desire I had felt for Carlisle even during the very first moments of this new life, though back then I wouldn't have written off as such. I had been far too chaste to admit such a thing. My mind flashed back to the beginnings of our courtship and the stolen kisses we would share on the couch when Edward was away. It went against everything my mother had taught me but I couldn't stop, even when my insecurities arose it was hard to stop and untangle our bodies. Luckily, Carlisle managed time and time again to find restraint to stop us, even though it was obvious from the bulge in his trousers that he was reluctant to do so. He insisted on courting me properly. I smiled as I realized the similarities in Edward's behavior closely mirrored his father's in those early days. Who would have thought that Edward was taking notes.
Bella waited uncomfortably for my answer. I thought about how best to answer her question without embarrassing her any further.
"I think everyone is different, but I suppose no matter what you will always feel a little like you do now. There is always that feeling there to some degree. You will still be hypersensitive and for the most part that will be to wanting blood and soothing the ache in your throat but that can also make you moody or wanting your mate..."
I felt for Bella in that moment. I wanted to give her the answers she needed but I also didn't want to embarrass her to death. If I could still blush, I think I would have, at this point.
"I'm just afraid I won't feel like myself for a while." She admitted
I frowned and pet her hair. " Don't think too hard about it. You will be just fine. You will always be you."
Bella's tired eyes looked up at me sluggishly. "Thank you. I think I just needed that reassurance." She whispered.
"Anytime." I replied automatically continuing to smooth her hair away from her forehead.
We sat like that for a few minutes before Bella's breathing began to slow. Her eyelids began to twitch and I saw this as my cue to carry her up to Edward's bedroom. She barely responded when my cold arms cradled her against my body. She looked so peaceful that I didn't want to move her but I figured she would be more comfortable on Edward's newly purchased bed then on my eclectic but hardly pliable sofa.
On my way down the stairs I detected a familiar pair of footsteps. Carlisle.
I ran to meet him at the door. He caught me and pulled me tightly into his embrace. I angled my lips for a much deserving kiss and he obliged.
"Where are the others?" I questioned noting the absence of several vampires behind him.
He slid his fingers underneath the sides of my blouse and toyed with the skin of my hips.
"They decided to go farther up North- they were trying to find something more satisfying than deer." He smiled bending to reach my lips once more. He moaned quietly into my mouth, his hands sliding to my backside and cupping my bottom. A familiar heat began to grow in my belly.
"They shouldn't be home for another couple hours." He added
My hands slid from the hair on the back of his neck to the top of his belt.
"How come I feel like you have something in mind for the next couple hours."I teased, noting the darkness in his eyes despite his recent meal.
He replied by carrying me to the couch, never once breaking our kiss. He pinned me to the chambray fabric, sucking on my right earlobe before making his way down my neck. I drowned in the sensation of his ministrations. "Carlisle-" I began but was immediately silenced with another toe curling kiss. I knew I had to stop before he reached the scar on my neck. I wouldn't be able to stop myself once he reached the sensitive scar and we couldn't! Bella was sleeping just a few feet above us in Edward's room. I reluctantly moved Carlisle into a more appropriate position beside me. He leaned his forehead against mine.
"I thought it was my job to stop us from behaving foolishly on the couch." He joked giving me another kiss, one I realized was meant to be gentle but still carried the weight of his lust.
I laughed. "There is a first for everything. Besides which, Bella is upstairs sleeping. I wouldn't feel right doing that while she was here."
He brought me into his arms and nuzzled my ear. " I know that dear. You have to remember we are going to be spending eternity with her, she's going to witness some less than chaste scenes between us. Besides which, she is sleeping. She wouldn't even know..." He began rubbing my arm as his breath gathered below my ear, making his way down my neck again. I was putty in his hands and he knew it. His lips neared the crescent moon on my throat when we saw a figure appear out the window.
Edward.
We separated immediately. I threw Bella's forgotten throw blanket playfully at Carlisle. "You might need this" I commented, staring intently at his lap.
He gave me a devilish grin
"That is definitely not helping." He said as Edward approached the living room.
Edward grimaced. "You can quit the medical recitations, Carlisle. I can still see through your head what it is like to kiss my mother."
Carlisle's mouth dropped. I placed a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.
As Edward rounded up the stairs, he looked back and added, " Oh and nice blanket."
I couldn't help but giggle. My husband looked at me with a playful glare.
"I told you." I said as I poked his chest.
