Please don't murder me for this.
Prior warning- LOTS of angst, and a little death.
So if you've been following me on Instagram, you'd know that recently I've been very, very obsessed with Steven Universe, and there's this song in it that's just beautiful in every way, and it's called "It's Over, Isn't It?" where my favorite character (Pearl) sings about the sorrows she'd been holding inside since Rose gave up her form/physical existence to create Steven. (Not really a spoiler, since it's kinda the base of the show, and common knowledge throughout)
Me being me, I decided to write a one-shot, my first ever song-fic! My apologies if it's terrible!
Also, something you should know, this is an AU where instead of falling in love with Cress, Thorne only grew to love her like a little sister.
So yeah, my first Cresswell one-shot is full of angst. Because, you know, "it's over, isn't it?
I was fine
The temperature was mild on Luna, the controlled climate almost identical to that of the satellite that once kept her prisoner.
With the women
Butterflies squirmed within her stomach, the faint sensation of nausea crawling at her throat. A small corset clutched loosely at her thin ribs, and a gown filled with blue, silver, and gold flowed out around her.
Who would come into his life now and again.
It was a beautiful dress, for a beautiful occasion.
I was fine,
A wedding.
'Cause I knew
To be specific, Thorne's wedding.
That they never really mattered
Not hers.
Until you.
A military ship was scheduled to arrive, and since Cinder, Kai, Jacin, Scarlet, Wolf, and Winter were busy preparing the formal ceremony she was unanimously elected to greet him and his lucky bride. Kate Fallow, who was soon to be Kate Thorne.
I was fine
Cress hated her, mostly due to the fact that she couldn't bring herself to hate her.
When you came,
She was perfect in every way for him, the way she knew everything there was to know about him without having to hack into secure military bases, the way their relationship had appeared to bloom even before they knew the first thing about dating.
And we laughed like it was all some silly game
It hadn't been the cleanest start to a relationship, and it had been Crescent's idea to contact her in the first place. She'd wanted to get to know more about Carswell's childhood, and after hearing their short and cute story, it seemed only right for them to become friends again.
Over him,
What she didn't see was how awful it would become, how a simple act of kindness could backfire so cruelly.
Who'd he choose,
She still loved him.
After all these years
He still loved her.
I never thought I'd loose
When the ship arrived they spoke for a few minutes, before they were led off by a servant. Laughing at the simplest of things, the two of them brimming with excitement for what their life held ahead of them.
It's over, isn't it?
Cress sat in silence at the ceremony the next day, acting like her happy and sweet little self. Standing next to Kate as she took her vows. She was the maid of honor, after all. It only made sense since she was the one who'd brought them together.
Isn't it?
The happy couple kissed, being the first earthen couple to marry on Luna in who knows how long.
Isn't it over?
A few months passed before it was announced that Kate was expecting a child. And another few months passed before it was announced to be a boy.
It's over, isn't it?
And another few months passed before it was announced to be a boy.
Isn't it?
Preparations for the child filled the war heroes with joy and excitement.
Isn't it over?
Cinder and Kai even considered having a child of their own, so the small version of Thorne would have a playmate.
You won,
When the child was born, Thorne and Kate elected Cress to be the godmother, proudly trusting their small baby's life with the girl they both thought of as part of their family.
And he chose you,
The child was only a year old when the accident happened. It was during a birthday ceremony that took place at the Artemisia palace, when a group of rebels against Luna becoming a republic set off bombs throughout the ballroom.
And he loved you,
Cress wasn't present at the time. The small birthday boy had fallen asleep, so she was headed to the newer nursery in order to put him to sleep. When the explosions went off she rushed back to the party. But the damage was done. It was an attack without many casualties, but the great Carswell Thorne was among them.
And he's gone.
The funeral was a blur to Cress, the only love she'd ever know left lying dead before her eyes, his handsome face halfway covered in gruesome, blistering burns that even funeral makeup couldn't cover fully.
It's over, isn't it?
Cress spent the next year or so stuck in her chambers, editing the palace's security to make sure nothing like this would ever happened again. Sleep was becoming a foreign thing for her, and she would sometimes work for days while running on caffeine alone. After all, it was her fault the attack happened in the first place, wasn't it?
Why can't I move on?
Struck with grief and self-doubt, Kate handed their small child to Cress to take care of. Kate didn't know she would be able to raise the child as a single mother, and didn't trust herself with the task of protecting him.
War and glory,
It wasn't long after that that a small civil war on Luna broke out, the rebel's goal being to prevent the Queen to give up her position in favor of a president. Somehow thinking that killing countless innocent people would change Cinder's mind.
Reinvention.
The war didn't last long. Kai sent the strongest forces of Commonwealth's army to protect the capital. Amongst the turmoil, the small child of Thorne and Kate grew to resemble Carswell quite shockingly.
Fusion, freedom,
Kate left Luna shortly after the microscopic war ended, knowing that the entire group wouldn't stay there for long. The plans to make Luna a republic were almost complete, after that Cinder would move to live with Kai. The only one with actual reasons to stay were Winter, Jacin, and possibly Cress. After all, she'd already spent a large amount of time traveling with Thorne before he reunited with Kate.
His attention.
When Cinder left, Cress and the child left with her. Cress bought a small house not far from the New Beijing palace. One with a large yard and an already existing garden with plants and flowers from all around the world.
Out in daylight,
When Cinder and Kai announced they were expecting a child, they asked her personally to create a new security system for the castle. They wanted only the best for their future child.
My potential.
Cress agreed, spending daylight hours taking care of Thorne's child, and the night hours when he slept designing the best security programming possible.
Bold,
She was not giving herself any room for mistake.
Precise,
Not allowing any possibly entrance to be left vulnerable.
Experimental.
She found that she was loosing herself in her work. She was doing what she was told. She hadn't checked up on any net dramas or gossip feeds in who knows how long, only paying attention to what the child liked.
Who am I now in this world without him?
He had taken a liking to a show about a crew of exiled superheroes saving the earth from power-hungry moon-dwelling super villains. She resisted the urge to tell him the story of the revolution the silly drama was based off of. At times she wondered why she even kept it up. Kate checked in at least once every week, whether it was in a direct video-com or an actual visit where she played with the child. He was now 3, and even acted like a miniature Thorne. Would he have wanted this life for the boy?
Petty and dull, with the nerve to doubt him.
Some nights she found herself drawn to the old articles about him. Hacking into the military base again to view his files, visiting old gossip site and fan bases from the revolution. And she found herself crying, crying from all that could've been, and from what she would never have the chance to have.
What does it matter? It's already done.
But she would always wake up, always play with the miniature Thorne like nothing was wrong, like her heart didn't hurt whenever she looked at him, like he was the only thing ever on her mind.
Now I have to be there for his son.
When Cinder had her child — a baby girl — frequent visits were made to the palace, both for updating security and letting the two children become aquatinted with each other.
It's over, isn't it?
Kate would often visit with them, playing with the two children while Cress worked.
Isn't it?
Years passed, and the children grew. The son would start school soon, and Cress was happy that she had the opportunity to help him with stuff she was good at.
Isn't it over?
Kate showed up at her door on the first day of kindergarten, and simply said she was taking him to school when Cress asked why.
It's over, isn't it?
Kate brought him home at the end of the day, laughing with her son before telling him to go put his stuff in his room. She then pulled Cress aside into the living room.
Isn't it?
She wanted Cress to know that she was considering taking up custody of her child again.
Isn't it over?
Kate was worried that Cress should focus more on work, since she was involved directly with the royal family. That Crescent didn't have the time to worry about raising a child.
You won,
Cress didn't have the heart to tell her that her son was one of the only reasons she did anything other than work.
And he chose you,
A few months later, the boy was packed up and waiting on the porch for his mother to pick him up.
And he loved you,
For the first time she realized just how big the hole in her heart was without Carswell or his son.
And he's gone.
They always visited on holidays. They always included her in the gathering of the war heroes, on the large birthday parties that she threw for him when he made countless friends.
It's over, isn't it?
One day Kate announced that they were moving back to the US, where both Carswell and her grew up.
Why can't I move on?
When there was a security breach a year later, she spent weeks trying to find the motives of the people who'd attempted to invade the palace. They wanted the Lunars in Commonwealth dead. She fixed the security problem at the palace, not once considering that she would also be considered valuable. She hadn't updated, or even fixed any bugs in her own home's security since Kate took her son back.
It's over, isn't it?
She was shocked that she wasn't even able to fight back when they came for her. That she was in a tired haze, and by the time she realized what was happening the knife was already wedged deeply into her chest. But she felt no pain, just regret. Regret at never saying anything, regret at letting Thorne die, regret at calling Kate in the first place, and regret for letting her take away the one piece of Thorne she had left; the one piece of Carswell she had left. A single tear escaped her eyes as the men vanished, and she was barely able to process the sirens in the distance, the silent shouting as Cinder and Kai appeared over her. Her vision faded, and voices turned to nothing as the figure of Thorne appeared overhead. Finally. Finally she was free, free to be with the one she truly loved.
Why can't I move on?
Also, (adding this the day after publishing), since I've see the AMAZING response this chapter has had, I only have one question.
Yeah, I know it was a tragedy, but it's only a fanfic...
What's the use of feeling blue?
