Well, I got three reviews, so here's another chapter as your reward! Be happy, cuz, uh...I am!
Deds:
kagome.inuyoukai - I'm glad to hear that, and hope you'll read my other stuff too, if you haven't already, I love knowing I have an audience out there!
buloy - Wow. That was one looooooooong review! I think that's the longest I've ever gotten, and this if my fifth story! I'm very glad that you like it so much, and you're right, it is very hard to keep Sessy in character without making him seem so mushy when he's around Kagome, I must agree with you there. I love how you reviewed all three chapters in that one review, that was cute! I saw that and thought, "Wow, this person really went to a lot of effort to do this, I think I like them already!" And don't worry, you'll get a little insight into Sessy's purposes in this chapter, though I'm going to continue them in the next too, if not the one after if the next one doesn't get to it. I'm trying to keep the chappies a little shorter this time; all my other stories have really long ones, I'm gonna see if this makes my updates any faster.
Inu's Chipmunk - Have no fear, I will truck on! I thought Sessy was a sneaky cutie, too...if that makes any sense! I wouldn't want to disappoint you, so...here it is, Chapter Four! Enjoy you guys!
Twisted Logic
After she'd cried herself to sleep, Sesshoumaru sat back and took an objective look at the turns his life had taken in the last twenty-four hours. He hadn't had this much excitement since Rin found a field of flowers last month and didn't shut up about it for two weeks.
Kagome choked; he rubbed her back, and she quieted. What was he doing?
Looking down at her shiny black hair, mussed from the wind, he couldn't help but wonder why he felt this lump in his throat whenever he was with her. His blood would heat up, and he would feel it colouring his cheeks, which was why he spent a large percentage of his time looking at anything but her. He was a demon of the highest order; he wasn't supposed to have feelings.
A voice in the back of his head, a voice that had had very little influence over anything he ever did in his life whispered, You are, therefore you feel. Don't think that just because you're a high-ranking demon you don't have to deal with emotions like everyone else. You cannot deny your love for her forever, Sesshoumaru.
Oddly enough, the voice was his Father's; Sesshoumaru had never been able to figure that one out, and he felt chastised whenever he heard it. It was no wonder he tended to ignore it.
He frowned. He was in control; he always would be. He would not admit to the weakness emotions presented; to feel was to be vulnerable in one way or another. He was a Lord, he had land to protect, and enemies to kill; he could not afford to let them think he had a weakness, or he would lose everything his forefathers had worked so hard to preserve.
But love…this was a new feeling. He was loath to admit it, but Sesshoumaru had feelings, alright - he was just extremely good at hiding them. He'd had his whole life to practice, he couldn't help but be an expert at it by now. The love he felt, he knew he'd have a difficult time expressing that. He didn't know how…he'd forgotten, it had been so long since he'd loved someone. His mother was the only person he'd truly loved. He'd loved his Father too, of course, but he was a man: physical displays of love just weren't shared with one's Father. A pat on the shoulder was high praise from a man like the Inu no Taisho.
Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, and tried to bring his Father's face to mind, but found his memory had become a little fuzzy. He had a general impression, but the image was nowhere near as sharp as it had once been; his mind was like a lens that was badly out of focus. He sighed quietly. He'd never admit it, but the Old Man had had an impact on him. Sesshoumaru knew that he'd never be loved by his vassals as his Father was; he was colder, more standoffish, than his Father had ever been, even in his awkward teenage years.
He chuckled. Just the thought of his teenage years made him want to cringe in embarrassment.
He'd been tall, sure - but he was so lanky, and awkward, and clumsy - his mother had called him Sessy-Six-Legs, a nickname he'd hated. He hadn't grown into himself until he was two hundred; roughly Inuyasha's age. He thought suddenly what would have happened had he met Kagome then?
Probably would have made her hate me, he thought, his eyes slitting open. He may have been skinny, but what he lacked in bulk he more than made up for in wit. He'd made so many of his playmates go home in tears that his Father had confined him to the castle, forbidding him to have any contact with anyone his age or younger. He got lonely mighty quick, but he'd liked it; no one could make fun of him when he was alone. He'd vowed to himself that one day he'd be big and strong, and would make everyone who'd ever teased him cower on their knees before him, and beg him to spare them, which of course he would not.
Such childish notions, he thought, glad he'd outgrown those long ago. He began to lace his clawed hand through Kagome's silky hair. Looking at his hand, he supposed he'd never really become the mass of muscle he'd always aspired to be - his arms were still thin and delicate, his fingers long and slightly feminine, but he could lift ten times his own weight. His demonic abilities were far beyond any lower-class demon, and his intelligence was anything but lacking. His mother had made sure of that.
Sesshoumaru's Father had insisted that he be trained strenuously since the tender age of twelve years; he would spend the next couple hundred years doing nothing but studying martial arts and learning how to harness his own unique abilities, while his mother insisted that he spend all his spare time studying history, language, mathematics, and the arts. By the time he was one hundred and fifty he had learned everything his teachers knew; there was no more left for him to learn. He'd mastered all he could in his training, and could perform any task asked of him with his eyes blindfolded, his nose covered, and his ears plugged. He could more than hold his own in conversation with demons centuries his senior. He'd become the ultimate smart/killing machine.
There wasn't anything he couldn't do, and women began to notice.
One area of study his parents had neglected was the opposite sex. He knew about the existence of women, of course, but when his Father introduced him to them at his first formal ball - he'd been at a loss.
With his long platinum hair, gold eyes, and striking facial features, he'd soon become the subjet du jour among the ladies of the lands, and they would often try to draw him into conversation, only to be disappointed when he would clam up and find some excuse to leave them. Even in the castle, if the maids happened to look at him with any interest, he'd look away and become silent. His parents began to notice this, and spoke to him of it one afternoon following that first ball.
Now that had been awkward.
His parents had sat him down and basically taught him about the birds and the bees, so to speak, and the following day, he'd decided to try their theory out. What was it about sex that was so attractive? He wanted to find out.
He started small: the maid who laid out his clothes that day was going to be his guinea pig. And he was nervous, really nervous, which made him grouchy.
He'd chosen this girl because she had a way about her that told him she wouldn't refuse; anyone working in the castle wouldn't have the gall to refuse him, he was the Lord's son, after all, a prince - but he knew she would be at least willing, which made her an excellent first choice.
She came in shortly and smiled at him, and he felt his loins contract in expectation. She was going to feel his desire today, indefinitely.
When she was finished her job, she went to leave but he said in his most imperial tone, "Wait."
Immediately, she came to bow before him, saying, "Yes, my Prince? Is there something you require?"
He almost laughed aloud at her choice of words. Confidently, he replied, "Yes, I will be needing your services…in that closet over there."
She'd whipped her head up, a naughty little smile on her face, and he favoured her with a tiny grin.
"My Prince, I am honoured," she whispered, and he held his hand out to her. Leading the way, she took him into the closet, no hesitation at all, and showed him what she knew about what went on "between the sheets".
He continued to do this throughout the following summer; not a girl in the castle went unexplored, excepting his mother, of course.
But, of course, his fun soon came to an end. When the maids began to quit suddenly, sometimes up to three a week, Inu no Taisho decided to investigate. None of the footmen or male servants had any problems; they knew nothing of what was making all the maids pack up and disappear.
Talking to the remaining maids was pointless. They would admit to nothing, or feign ignorance.
The only mistake Sesshoumaru made cost him his fun that year: he'd grown so cocky and confident that no one would talk and expose him, he began to find more and more excuses to try and get his Father to catch him in the act. It made sex all the better if he thought he was about to get caught, it gave him a thrill he never thought to find elsewhere, doing something else.
It was this attitude that ultimately destroyed his fun, that and the fact that the maids kept running off, afraid for their lives if their Master found out what they were doing, and occasionally because of an unexpected pregnancy that they left to deal with on their own.
So, when Inu no Taisho finally caught Sesshoumaru and the chamber-maid in the pantry, half-naked, he put his foot down. Sesshoumaru was stopped in his tracks.
Inu no Taisho was mad; it was so hard to find good help, and Sesshoumaru was making things ten times harder. As punishment, the boy was sent to live with a friend of his Father's, a swordsmith names Totosai, in the hope that the old man could teach young Sesshoumaru patience, restraint, and above all, self-control.
He shuddered recalling that year. Totosai had been somewhat younger then, and much more spry, not to mention harsh. Every action Sesshoumaru committed was met with some dry remark that he really didn't appreciate. He and Totosai were like Fire and Ice: they just could not get along, and when they did, it was strained. Severely.
But in the end Inu no Taisho got what he wanted: Sesshoumaru was so sick of Totosai that he was in no rush to ever have sex again, not if getting caught meant going back to live with that old nutball. He'd risen at dawn (way too early, in Sesshoumaru's opinion) and went to bed at dusk (again, way too early in Sesshoumaru's opinion). He lived his life with the sun, and when it went to bed, so did he, that old codger. He indulged in no night-life, or alternative hobby. He made swords, and that was what he would always do, no change would ever make him abandon his craft.
When Sesshoumaru thought about it, he and the old man really weren't that different, now. He laughed about it, for now that he was older and wiser, he'd realised the benefits of keeping these same hours when he was at home. Out on patrol, he only stopped when Rin needed sleep, and then he only cat-napped. Sleep was a luxury when he was on the road.
But that didn't make him dislike Totosai any less, of course.
He could admit now that the year spent in Totosai's company had done him some good: whereas he'd had barely any self-control or discipline when it came to women, he now had rigid control over not only his sex life, but every other aspect in his life as well. People didn't know it, but he wasn't cold because he liked to be cold; he was cold because it was necessary to be cold, it got things done, and kept his annoying emotions out of the way.
Shaking his head, he adjusted his position so Kagome's head rested more comfortably against his chest, and brought up one knee to support her back, and shield her from the cold wind that occasionally blew this far into their cave. He kicked another stick into the fire, and watched without really seeing as the flames ate the wood as if it were a delectable cut of meat, so juicy and tender that time must not be wasted in its consumption.
Waste not, want not.
He closed his eyes, to nap. Thinking about his past made him tired.
XnY
Well, there you have it. Do I keep saying that? I'm sorry! Review people, please! I won't post again until I get at least three! Do me proud!
