NEW LONGER CHAPTER! Now with ten times the awkwardness! Yay!

I can't believe how fast I'm uploading these things. I almost never write anything nonstop, but there's just so many possibilities with this! I'd like to say again, to make it clear: despite how cruel I am to them in this story, I really have nothing against Noah Ringer or Nicola Peltz (poor Katarola). Mostly I feel sorry for them, because their first time on the big screen was under the instruction of the Dark Lord Shyamalan. *shakes fist* The movie characters in this story are all slightly exaggerated, of course, for comedic purposes (but just slightly).

And again, thanks for all the reviews, guys! You make me smile. :D

(Brown Eyed Bandit, I am truly appalled that ANYONE would think the movie was better than the show. I feel your pain! And you have no idea how flattered I am that you even thought of using this fanfic to convince her otherwise, lol... So thanks, and, uh, good luck? My suggestion would be to kidnap her and force her to watch the show. But maybe that's a little extreme? *wink*)

DISCLAIMER: To my everlasting sorrow, I own none of the characters from "Avatar: the Last Airbender." To my ever-increasing happiness, I own nothing from "The Last Airbender."


PART FOUR

"In Which Aang Gives Awng the Talk, and Sokka Demonstrates a Proper Warrior's Wolf-Tail"

"After we were given our nicknames, it was time for our training to officially begin…"

Katarola was trotting along like a doe-eyed puppy behind Katara, narrating solemnly as the animated girl paced impatiently back and forth outside of Sockson and Katarola's hut. Katara herself was clenching her teeth in annoyance, mentally chanting a mantra to herself: "Don't be mean – try to be nice. Don't be mean – try to be nice."

"Katara didn't like me very much," Katarola went on. "She said that I was pasty and I cried too much. But she knew she had to do whatever she could to try to train me to be a better Waterbender and a more interesting character. Meanwhile, on the other side of the village, Sokka was beginning to train Sohka – I mean Sockson – "

At last Katara growled and whirled on the live-action girl, placing her hand firmly over her mouth. "Okay, listen, Cupcake. Lesson Number One: no more narrating. Got it?"

Katarola's wide eyes gaped at her, and she mumbled something through Katara's hand.

"What did you say?" Katara asked, removing her hand.

Katarola's lip trembled. "But… Lord Shyamalan said I was the narrator – "

"I don't care what Lord Shyamalan said!" Katara exclaimed, fuming. "I'm training you now, and you do what I say! And I say no more narrating, unless you want to get your dainty little behind frozen to a wall! Understand?"

"Hey, Katara?" Aang said, coming up behind her and tapping her gently on the shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure, Aang," Katara sighed, casting a stern glance at Katarola and pointing her finger authoritatively at her. "You – stay."

Katarola nodded fervently, rooting herself in place.

Katara turned back to Aang and took a few steps away with him. "What's the matter?" she asked.

Aang rubbed his forehead with a sigh. "It's Awng… I don't know what to do for him! I mean, he seems like he actually could be a decent character, but he just has no sense of humor, or any idea how to interact with other people. I've only seen him make three facial expressions so far: Sad Blank Face, Confused Blank Face, and Scrunched-up Concentrating Face! That's it! And his Scrunched-up Concentrating Face is pretty much the same as his Confused Blank Face, anyway! And would you believe I had to explain the concept of 'fun' to him? It's just depressing! I just – I don't know if I can help him."

Katara smiled a little at him. "Well… look on the bright side. At least you're not stuck with Miss Weepy Narrator over there."

She gestured at Katarola, who perked up and waved at them eagerly when she noticed they were paying attention to her.

Aang chuckled softly. "Yeah, that's pretty tough. But – I don't know… I guess I was just wondering if you could give me some advice?"

Katara gazed at Aang for a moment, pursing her lips in thought. At last she smiled softly at him, bringing her hand to his cheek.

"You know what, Aang?" she said. "I don't think you need my help. You're the most patient and understanding person I know – and besides that, you're an expert at having fun. You'll find a way to get through to him, I just know it."

Aang smiled back at her, but his eyes fell rather sadly to the ground. "I don't know, Katara…" he murmured doubtfully.

"Hey," she went on, grinning. "Remember when you first came to our village? You took me penguin sledding and played around with the kids and reminded us all what it was like to have fun. You can do it again. I know you can."

Aang's eyes suddenly sparked with an idea. "Penguin sledding… That's it! Katara, you're a genius!"

He threw his arms jubilantly around her, planted a kiss on her cheek, and took off running in a whirlwind. Katara blushed violently and laughed a little to herself, watching him go. She stood there smiling for several moments after he'd gone.

"Aang and Katara seemed to get along very well…" came the cheerful narrating voice behind her.

Katara clenched her teeth again.

Without even turning around, she swept a wave of snow rapidly behind herself, solidifying it into ice. The subsequent astonished gasp of the live-action girl filled Katara's heart with joyful satisfaction, and she smirked, glancing over her shoulder at Katarola, who was now frozen to the wall of the hut.

"Can't say I didn't warn you," she said, with a casual shrug. So much for being nice, she thought.


"Hey, uh, Sockson?" Sokka said, raising his eyebrows and staring at something off in the distance.

"What?" Sockson demanded angrily.

"You might want to get those little children away from Movie Appa, before they all get squished like bugs," Sokka said, pointing. Just beyond the edge of the village, the shaggy, blue-faced CGI bison was hovering in the air, with several giggling Water Tribe children dangling off his six feet.

"They're just extras," Sockson replied impatiently. "We can always get more. Anyway, those obnoxious little children always following me around everywhere I go, and I don't know why. Whenever I tell them to leave me alone, they just whine about having to use the bathroom. It's extremely irritating."

Sokka simply stared at him for a moment. There were so many things he thought about saying – but at last he came to the conclusion that it was simply not worth the effort. So he shrugged.

"Suit yourself," he said. "Anyway, let's get on with the training – "

Toph, lounging in the snow next to Suki, yawned loudly. "Hey, Sokka, how long's this gonna take? I'm bored!"

"I don't know, Toph!" Sokka said. "If you're so bored, why don't you go join all those dispensable children playing around with Old Blueface over there? That looks life-threatening enough to be interesting."

"Meh," Toph groaned lazily. "But that requires getting up."

"Wanna play 'I Spy'?" Suki suggested.

Toph was silent for a moment, blinking her hazy blind eyes approximately in Suki's direction. "I'll give you three seconds to figure out why that was the dumbest thing you've ever said."

"Oh, right," Suki blushed, embarrassed. "Sorry."

"So, what are you planning to teach me, anyway?" Sockson asked, smirking slightly. "Karate?"

"Kara-wha?" Sokka looked at Sockson like he was insane.

"You know, karate," Sockson said, smirking a little bit more – apparently amused at himself. "Because – you know – it's from your culture, or whatever?"

"Our culture?" Sokka asked, crossing his arms. "You mean, the Southern Water Tribe?"

"Yeah, but – aren't you guys, you know – Japanese?" Sockson asked.

"Hey," Sokka replied sarcastically, "aren't you – you know –a constipated vampire?"

Sockson frowned. "What?"

Sokka looked innocent. "What?"

Long, awkward silence.

"No, we're not Japanese," Sokka said at last, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, but you're like that… Japanese-type cartoon, whatever it's called," Sockson specified, growing irritable again. "Anima – I mean, anime. That."

"No, we're not. We're simply anime-influenced," Sokka said matter-of-factly. "And that is completely off the topic, anyway!... In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm not even supposed to know what anime is – or Japan – or the fact that you're actually a constipated vampire."

"Ah, the joys of humorous fanfiction," Toph grinned happily, picking her nose. "Anything is possible!"

"Anyway, enough of the nonsense!" Sokka declared firmly, rubbing his hands enthusiastically together. "Pay close attention, Grumpy Guy. I am about to school you in the fine art… of SARCASM!"

Sokka struck a dramatic pose, grinning broadly.

Sockson seemed unimpressed. "Uh-huh. And… what exactly gives you the authority to train me in sarcasm?"

"Excuse me!" Sokka cried, deeply offended. "In case you haven't heard, I'm Sokka: the Meat and Sarcasm Guy. I even said so in the show. Season Two, Episode Nine. That's right. Deal with it!"

"He's also the So-Bad-They're-Funny-Puns Guy," Toph added.

"Yeah, and also the main Butt-Monkey for pretty much the whole show," Suki put in cheerfully.

"Yes, thanks – I'll handle it from here, if you don't mind, guys," Sokka said, glaring wearily at both of them.

Suki smiled sweetly back at him. "Love you!"

"Well, even so," Sockson said, glowering somberly at Sokka, "I think I'm doing just fine without your help."

Sokka wanted to say many things – oh, so many things – but he resisted the urge yet again. Still, for a few moments, he could only stare silently at the angry live-action version of himself, struggling against the impulse to simply tell Sockson he was wrong. So wrong. The tired animated warrior rubbed his forehead, feeling the beginnings of a headache lurking there.

"Look," he said finally. "Just hear me out, okay? I know you tried to make some little jokes in the movie – I think maybe, uh, twice – but they weren't funny. At all."

"I think one of those times actually wasn't a joke, Sokka," Suki pointed out. "He just made a funny face because he was angry about something."

"Right," Sokka went on. "Okay, then, the reason that your one joke wasn't funny… well, there's actually several reasons, but for now we're just gonna focus on one… is because it didn't make sense."

"What do you mean?" Sockson demanded fiercely.

"Here, look," Sokka said, pointing to Movie Appa once again. "You see Old Blueface over there?"

"Of course I can see him!" Sockson growled angrily.

"Yeah, and see how one end of him has a face, with a mouth, and the other end has a long flat tail?" Sokka continued, slowly. "If he smacks you with his tail, and then you say something about how he's trying to eat you, it's just not funny. Understand?"

"No," Sockson said flatly.

Sokka ignored him. "Now, on the other hand, I shall demonstrate a joke that is funny. Here, give me a line. Say, uh, 'this is Appa, my flying bison.'"

"Why would I say such a thing?" Sockson snarled.

"Just do it, Ponytail!" Sokka ordered him impatiently.

Sockson hesitated for a moment, and then murmured stiffly and awkwardly: "This is Appa, my flying bison."

Sokka grinned, gesturing to Suki, and replied in a heavily sarcastic manner: "Right. And this is Suki, my flying girlfriend."

"Boo! Lame! Get off the stage!" Toph bellowed.

"Quiet, Toph!" Sokka simmered.

Toph giggled. "Looks like the non-funniness is contagious."

"But your girlfriend doesn't fly," Sockson protested, furrowing his brow seriously. "That doesn't make sense either. That's completely immature."

"It was funnier in Episode One," Sokka sighed, rubbing his forehead again. Definitely a headache coming on. "But you're missing the point, anyway! Everyone knows she can't fly. That's why it's funny."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Sockson argued, somehow furrowing his brow even more deeply, and pursing his teeth again.

Sokka was beginning to grind his own teeth in frustration. "But it's funny because – because – because it's almost like what you said, except goofy… Get it?"

Sockson growled furiously. "This is a complete waste of time!" he shouted.

"Hey!" Sokka bellowed back, louder. "You know what's a real waste of time? You yammering on and on about all the boring and unimportant details of tracking a Tiger Seal, and then thinking that a bison's butt is its head a few minutes later!"

"Heh heh," Toph chuckled quietly to herself.

"But I don't see why your humor is more humorous than my humor!" Sockson roared back, face to face with Sokka.

"BECAUSE BUTTS DON'T EAT PEOPLE!" Sokka yelled.

"MAYBE I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A BUTT!" Sockson shouted.

"If you couldn't tell that the side opposite from the GIGANTIC BLUE FACE was the bison's butt, then you are clearly not competent enough to track Tiger Seals!" Sokka jabbed the live-action boy in the chest to drive his point home, causing Sockson to only grind his teeth harder in rage.

"Are you insulting my hunting skills?" Sockson demanded, quivering with fury.

"No! Never! What could possibly make you think that was what I was doing?" Sokka growled.

"Ah, now there's some quality sarcasm!" Toph smirked. Suki's eyes nervously darted between the two boys, who were standing to chest to chest and bristling.

"Look, I'm just trying to help you out, here, okay?" Sokka went on, far past his boiling point. "It was a nice try, but it just wasn't funny. And maybe if you didn't act like such an uptight, bad-tempered SOCIOPATH all the time, people might actually LIKE YOU!"

"Uh, Sokka?" Suki spoke up timidly.

Sockson snarled. "I take my responsibilities seriously! I am a grounded character!"

"Grounded!" Sokka scoffed. "What does that even mean?"

"Should we… do something?" Toph asked Suki.

"I don't know," Suki said anxiously.

"I AM A BRAVE WARRIOR!" Sockson bellowed.

Sokka scoffed again. "What? 'Cause you got a ponytail?"

"It's a Warrior's Wolf-Tail!" Sockson shouted indignantly.

"No, no… " Sokka suddenly grabbed hold of Sockson's arm, flipped him around and held him in a secure headlock, drew his own sword and – in one clean swoop – chopped off a good length of Sockson's ponytail, leaving only a short, spiky tuft of hair.

"That's a Warrior's Wolf-Tail," Sokka declared in satisfied triumph, sheathing his sword smugly.

Short, astonished silence.

"… Uh, oh," Suki muttered.

Sockson, who had been too shocked to respond for a moment, suddenly roared and charged at Sokka. Sokka, just as eager to fight, charged back. Within seconds, the two boys were immersed in a fierce brawl, rolling in the snow and throwing angry fists at one another.

"Uh… Should we do something now?" Toph asked slowly.

"Let's," Suki nodded quickly.

The two girls took action, leaping to their feet and diving into the middle of the fist-fight. Despite the fact that Sockson was quite a bit taller than Sokka, Sokka was holding the upper hand in the fight – mostly because Sockson seemed to have no idea how to fight, and was just swinging his arms blindly. Suki darted into the brawl and grabbed hold of Sokka from behind, while Toph calmly grabbed Sockson by the furry collar of his parka and dragged him off to the side.

The two Water Tribe boys were snarling and bristling like angry wolves. Sockson attempted to charge at Sokka again, but Toph effortlessly threw him to the ground and sat on him.

"Chill!" she commanded.

"Sokka," Suki said gently in her fuming boyfriend's ear, still with her arms wrapped around him to calm him down. "Now, I'm not saying I think you were wrong, but calling him a sociopath might have been going a bit too far."

"Yeah, and, uh, chopping his hair off," Toph added snidely.

"Yeah… that too," Suki nodded.

"But it was pretty fantastic," Toph grinned, laughing. Sockson attempted to get up again, but Toph just pushed him casually back to the ground.


"I don't understand," Awng said, trudging through the thick snowy landscape behind Aang. "Why are we looking for penguins?"

"Because we're gonna go penguin sledding!" Aang declared happily, scanning the snowy horizon for any sign of penguins. They had walked quite a distance from the village already, and so far there were no penguins in sight. But Aang was undeterred – he was going to take this kid penguin sledding, even if it took them all day.

"What is… penguin sledding?" Awng asked, making his Scrunched-up Concentrating Face. Or maybe it was his Confused Blank Face.

"Just what it sounds like," Aang explained. "You catch a penguin, and then you ride it down a hill, like a sled."

"And the penguins actually let you do that?"

"Yep!"

"But – I don't understand."

Aang sighed, turning around to look at the live-action Airbender. "What don't you understand? The whole idea is pretty simple."

"I… I don't understand… what the point is," Awng said, scrunching his brow, his mouth slightly ajar. As usual.

"The point is to have fun," Aang explained slowly, reaching across to push the live-action boy's mouth shut for at least the second time that day. "I came here to help you be more like me, right? And you can't be more like me unless you learn how to have fun. And there's nothing more fun than sledding down a big snowy hill on the back of a penguin! Trust me – if that doesn't bring a sense of humor out of you, then nothing will."

The animated Airbender turned back around, about to resume his quest through the snow, when he caught sight of something in the distance. His face broke into a wide grin.

"Penguins, ahoy!" he cried, pointing. Awng looked and saw it as well: an entire flock of penguins, lounging in the white sunlight, a short distance away on their left.

"Let's go!" Aang said, taking off running and dragging the surprised live-action boy behind him.


"I'm not sure this is such a good idea," Awng said nervously.

The two Airbenders were perched atop a high, steep mountain of snow, sitting with their captured penguins, ready for takeoff. Aang was practically bouncing with eager excitement; but Awng glanced tentatively down the steep slope, his eyes wide with fear.

"It's a great idea!" Aang exclaimed, beaming. "Don't worry. It's better to just do it and not think about it too much. Here, hop onto the penguin. I'll give you a little nudge."

Awng hesitantly seated himself on the penguin's back, scooting up to the edge of the slope. Aang crept up behind him, smirking rather deviously.

"Aang…" Awng said, swallowing hard. "I think I've changed my mind, I want to get – AAAAAHHH!"

The live-action Airbender went flying down the slope, his screams reverberating wildly in the open arctic air. Aang snickered with satisfaction, and quickly hopped onto his own penguin, taking off down the slope after him.

The icy wind whistled in Aang's ears, and his heart bounced into his throat as his penguin gathered momentum. Aang laughed jovially, giving himself an extra burst of air to catch up with the live-action boy, who was still screaming – but, to Aang's immense relief, was actually beginning to laugh. Aang pulled up alongside Awng, whose eyes were watering in the wind and whose mouth was wide-open in a half-terrified, half-thrilled expression.

"You might wanna close your mouth," Aang shouted.

"What? Why – " Awng suddenly started gagging and choking on a bug that had flown into his mouth.

Aang laughed. "That's why! Come on, slowpoke – bet I can beat you to the bottom!"

With another jet of air, Aang and his penguin took off in a burst of speed, kicking up a cloud of snow behind them. Awng shook the snow out of his eyes, and started to laugh again, waving his arms to try to give himself a boost as well.

Of course, Aang – being an experienced penguin sledder – reached the bottom of the hill long before Awng did. When his penguin came to a stop, it stood up, and Aang tumbled backwards into the snow, laughing. Awng came down soon behind him, rather clumsily losing his balance at the bottom of the slope and falling face first into the snow. His own penguin got up and waddled indifferently away.

"See, wasn't that great?" Aang asked, grinning.

Awng, his face buried in the snow, seemed unable to stop laughing. He sat himself up slowly, his loud guffaws echoing happily in the empty landscape. Aang laughed as well.

"I knew that would do the trick," he said. "All you needed was a little fun, and – "

But Awng was not listening. He was still laughing, and didn't seem to be showing any signs of stopping. In fact, he was only getting louder.

Aang chuckled, a little uncomfortably. "Man, you really liked that, huh?" he asked.

The live-action Airbender still did not reply – just continued his loud, uncontrollable chortles.

"And… you're still laughing…" Aang muttered. He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Hey, Awng? Awng!"

Awng clutched his stomach, still laughing loudly enough to scare away all the penguins in the South Pole.

Aang, furrowing his brow, finally Waterbended a small snowball into the air and launched it directly at Awng's face, stopping him mid-guffaw. Awng blinked at him a few times, in a daze.

"Sorry," Awng said.

"It's okay," Aang said, standing up and helping his movie counterpart to his feet. "It's definitely a good start! We're finally making some progress. But there's one thing you've gotta learn about being a realistic character: balance."

"Balance?" Awng asked.

"Yep. You've gotta find the balance between having fun and being serious. There is a time and place for both, my friend. It's great to laugh – in fact, I do it all the time. If you never laugh, people will think there's something a little off about you, or they'll think you're boring. But if you do it too much, people will just think you're crazy. Understand?"

Awng nodded, blinking a few times. His mouth was still hanging open, but now at least he was actually smiling. Aang couldn't help but feel a small surge of pride.

"You'll get it," Aang grinned, patting the live-action Airbender on the shoulder. "You just need a little practice, that's all."

Awng grinned as well. "That was so much fun. I want to do it again!"

"Hey, you know," Aang nudged the other Airbender with his elbow, giving him a sly wink. "Maybe you could ask Katarola to go penguin sledding with you, huh?"

But Awng just blinked at him. "Why?"

Aang burst into a fit of laughter himself. "Why?" he cried incredulously. Surely the live-action boy wasn't that clueless...

However, Awng did not reply. He kept staring, forehead creased in confusion.

Aang chuckled quietly, rather uncomfortably, beginning to feel slightly perplexed himself. "Well…" he said tentatively, "you know… 'cause… I mean, you like her, don't you?"

Awng shrugged. "She seems nice. We only said a few lines to each other in the hut earlier. I guess we get along pretty well."

"Yeah, but I mean," Aang was beginning to flush awkwardly, "don't you... like her?"

Awng gave him his Confused Blank Face again. "I don't understand."

"You know…" Aang shuffled his feet in the snow, rubbing the back of his head. "She's a girl, she's pretty, she's nice, she's… uh… smart, I guess... Actually, I'm not really sure about that last part. But – you know?... She's a girl?"

Awng continued to stare blankly at him.

"You did actually notice that she's a girl, right?" Aang asked, deeply concerned.

"Well, sure," Awng shrugged again, wrinkling his brow. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

Aang massaged his forehead, feeling that he shouldn't have to explain this sort of thing. "Uh, because… you're a guy, she's a girl. You know how it is, when there's a… a guy, and a girl…"

Awng's Confused Blank Face was beginning to morph into his Scrunched-up Face. "What?" he asked.

Aang could feel himself turning red, all the way to the tips of his ears. "Um, let's see, how can I put this?... You know, sometimes, when a guy meets a girl, and they get along well, sometimes they start to want to be more than friends… you know?"

Blank stare.

"You see," Aang went on, "as boys and girls get older, they start to get these, uh, feelings…"

Continued blank stare.

"Maybe I should start over," Aang said hastily, seating himself on the ground. Awng sat down beside him, listening in deep curiosity. "Okay," Aang said, "let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a… a little boy penguin, and a little girl penguin. The boy and the girl penguin were really great friends, and did everything together, and had lots of fun. Then, one day, the boy penguin started to have these crazy new feelings for the girl penguin – powerful feelings he couldn't understand. And every time she came around, his heart would start pounding like crazy, and he'd get all nervous and clumsy and act like an idiot. And he started doing all kinds of dumb things, just to try to get her attention; and he spent a lot of time going out of his way to do things just for her, because he wanted to make her happy; and he felt like he was losing his mind because all he could ever think about was how amazing she was… so fun, and smart, and caring… with those deep, beautiful, icy blue eyes that glistened like the moon on the ocean… and the way she'd smile at him… with the wind in her hair loopies – "

"Huh?" Awng interrupted in bewilderment. Aang had begun drifting off into a state of dreamy bliss.

"What?" Aang said, returning to reality. "Oh… oh, yeah, so anyway, as I was saying… The boy penguin wanted to tell the girl penguin about all these crazy feelings he had, but he was afraid that she didn't have any of those feelings for him. And then finally he kissed her, and things got weird, and the girl penguin said she was confused, which just made the boy penguin feel confused. Then he kissed her again, and she ran away, and he was embarrassed and wanted to die… But finally the boy penguin saved the world, and then she kissed him, and after that it was okay… and the boy and girl penguin lived happily ever after!... Any of this getting through to you?"

Awng gaped at Aang, looking somehow even more confused than before. "Huh?"

Aang thought he would burst with impatience. "Good grief, kid!" he cried. "Don't you have any emotions at all? I'm not going to explain to you where babies come from!"

Awng stared, mouth hanging open, utterly perplexed. Aang felt a heavy curtain of doom and discomfort slowly settle over him.

"You're going to make me explain it, aren't you?" he finally said, reluctantly.

Awng's clueless stare said it all - the boy had no idea what he was talking about. Aang realized he had to help the poor kid. But why did it have to be this? For a moment Aang could only scratch his head, bury his face in his knees, and breathe – gathering strength. Before he'd even begun to speak, he could already feel the heat creeping up his neck and into his face. Awng watched him patiently, scrunching his eyebrows in curiosity.

"Okay, okay. Fine. Come here," Aang said in annoyed resignation, gesturing the live-action boy to lean in closer. After taking another deep breath and bracing himself for the embarrassment, Aang began to hastily whisper the facts of life into Awng's ear.

"Ah... I see," Awng murmured, furrowing his brow, listening with deep fascination. "Oh… uh-huh… oh!... Oh!... OHHH! Really?… Huh."

"Yeah," Aang finished, thoroughly relieved and blushing furiously. "That's the basic idea, anyway."

Awng's face glowed with enlightenment. "Wait," he said suddenly, "but what does that have to do with penguins?"

"What? Nothing!" Aang exclaimed, taken aback. "The penguins were just a metaphor!"

"Oh," Awng replied, his eyes still wide with amazement.

Aang sighed again – a sigh that was almost a growl – and pressed his fingers into his temples fiercely, willing himself to stop blushing. He stared straight ahead, out at the snowy landscape, and started to whistle a little tune to make himself feel less awkward. How had he got himself into this situation?

Awng suddenly looked at Aang again, his eyes now full of suspicion and something like awe. "Hold on," he said. "Don't tell me – ? You've never – ?"

Aang glanced at him, quickly realizing what he was implying, and shook his head hastily. "What? Me? No! No! No, no, no! I'm still too young for that!… I just… I just know how it's done, that's all." The animated boy blushed again, somehow even more profoundly than before.

"Oh," Awng replied, looking away pensively. "Hm. Well, then…"

"Yeah…" Aang murmured uncomfortably.

"But – well, that's interesting and all," Awng began, suddenly a little sad, "But I... I guess that's not important for me."

"What do you mean?" Aang asked, curious and extremely eager to change the subject.

"Well, you know," Awng explained with a melancholy sigh, "when they first told me… that I was the Ahvatar – "

"Avatar," Aang coughed.

"What?"

"Nothing. Keep going."

"They said… that I could… never have a family," Awng finished, staring at the ground solemnly and sadly.

"What?" Aang exclaimed, bewildered. "Never have a family? Who told you that nonsense?"

"Well… Lord Shyamalan did, actually."

"Aha. I should have known." Aang shook his head.

"You mean it's not true?" Awng's eyes turned to Aang, burning with a small spark of hope.

Aang chuckled a little. "Well, let's just say that, if that actually is a rule, I'm pretty sure every Avatar who ever lived broke it."

"Really?" Awng said, beginning to smile a little. "So that means the Avatar can like girls, too?"

"You'd better believe it," Aang smirked. "And don't you mean the Ahvatar?"

"Huh? Oh," Awng's eyes shifted slightly. "Right. That's what I said."

Suddenly Toph and Katara appeared, approaching the two Airbenders from the direction of the village.

"Hey, bald guys!" Toph shouted. "Playtime's over. Apparently we have to go."

Aang rose to his feet, quickly Airbending the snow off of his clothes. "Go?" he asked. "Go where?"

Katara rolled her eyes. "To the Earth Kingdom."

"Why do we need to go there?" Aang asked.

Katara just shrugged. "Beats me. But Dainty Katarola says we've got to go do the rest of the movie right away."

"Yeah," Toph added. "And apparently we're already really behind schedule, or something, so we're just gonna skip over the Southern Air Temple and go straight to the Earth Kingdom."

"I'm not really sure why they need to go to the Earth Kingdom at all, seeing as how Awng is still here and they don't actually know anyone in the Earth Kingdom," Katara rolled her eyes yet again. "But they really want to go, apparently because that's where the next scene is supposed to happen. And because Lord Shyamalan says so."

"Oh. We're skipping the Air Temple?" Awng groaned in disappointment, rising to his feet as well. "But… but that means I won't get to discover the bones of the Air Nomads and do my big, agonized 'NOOO!'… And I've been practicing it!"

Aang shrugged helplessly at him. "Well, you'll just have to do your big, agonized 'NOOO!' some other time. Come on."

The group trudged unhappily off, back through the snow toward the Water Tribe village. While Toph and Awng went forward, Katara and Aang hung back slightly. She slipped her hand through the crook of his elbow and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Looks like you got through to him," she smiled. "He seems much livelier than before. Told you you could do it!"

Aang smiled faintly back at her, but sighed with deep weariness. "Katara," he began.

"Yeah?"

"Just in case we ever have kids one day… You're giving them the Talk."

Katara furrowed her brow, glancing away in awkward confusion. "Uh… okay?"

"Hey!" Zuko shouted in alarm from the deck of the Fire Nation ship. He had come outside just in time to see Movie Appa passing by overhead, carrying both Aangs, both Kataras, and both Sokkas, plus Toph and Suki.

"What's going on – hey!" Z-Patel emerged behind Zuko, catching sight of the CGI bison and its passengers as well.

"They're leaving without me!" Zuko exclaimed angrily.

"The Ahvatar is getting away!" Z-Patel bellowed, even more angrily – not to be outdone by his animated counterpart.

Zuko glared at him. "Seriously, I'm telling you, you're not gonna catch him. You might as well just give up right now and save yourself a lot of trouble."

"What is all this noise?" Iroh queried, coming out onto the deck of the ship as well, followed by the yawning Eeroh – who had seemingly just woken from his nap and, consequently, had an extraordinary case of dreadlocked bed-head.

"Uncle!" Zuko cried, pointing at Movie Appa, who was now little more than a white speck in the sky. "The others all left without us! How could they do that?"

Iroh and Eeroh both stroked their beards pensively, casually glancing at the vanishing glimpse of Appa.

"Well, that is rather rude!" Iroh muttered, then shrugged. "Oh, well. No matter. We're all going to end up in the same place, anyway."

"That's true," Eeroh nodded. "You two can just come with us. We're headed to the Earth Kingdom, and so are they. We're bound to cross paths again eventually. And if nothing else, we'll just meet up with them at the North Pole during the climax of the movie."

"But – !" Zuko and Z-Patel protested simultaneously.

"Now, now, Zuko," Iroh shook his head at his animated nephew. "No complaints. You're just going to have to try to get along with Z-Patel until we meet up with the others again."

"And, Z-Patel," Eeroh cast a stern glance at his own live-action nephew. "You'll just have to try to be nice. And please, do attempt to relax a bit, for all of our sakes."

Zuko and Z-Patel exchanged irritated scowls, and then both looked back at their respective uncles with a sigh of unhappy resignation.

"Fine," they mumbled in unison.


What will happen to our heroes and their movie counterparts once they arrive in the Earth Kingdom? Will Awng find his personality? Will Sockson grow back his ponytail? Will Katarola finally stop narrating? Will Zuko ever learn the truth of the fourth wall?... You'll just have to wait and see! Mwahahaha...