Chapter Three | Memories Bathed In White
I remembered the snow that Winter. It was pure, and innocent, not unlike myself at the tender age of nine. I was wrapped up in a thick fur blanket that made me look smaller and shorter than I was. Underneath, tightly clasped around my waist, was a pouch from my mother that contained grocery products. I was nearly there, pushing against the strong winds that barreled against me, when suddenly a figure appeared out of the whiteness and reached out for me. I allowed the hand to grasp my own mitten-clad one and drag me forward.
Once I had gotten to the porch, I could properly hear since the winds were shut out. I could see better, too, and smiled widely at the sight of my rescuer – a shivering Itachi. He was watching me; his eyes took in my red nose and cheeks, and he smiled back at me before tugging at my hand and pulling me into the warmth of his family home.
"Oh! Setsuko, child, come inside. You look chilled," his mother fussed, taking me from Itachi's care and crouching before me. She grinned at the blanket I was wrapped around and shook off the snow that was piled atop it before hanging it on the hook by the door. She then proceeded to look me over, taking in my standard dress with calculating eyes. I had to admit that her expression startled me a little.
Her hand found the collar of my kimono and she made a noise, "Well, at least it's dry. Goodness, I'd like to see you in something else for a change, Setsuko. You always wear this drab, gray fabric."
It was true, of course, but there was nothing I could do about it, and nothing I cared to do. It was part of everything in my closet, and that wouldn't change as I grew older. I had seen many people in the Narita clan, from babies to elders, and everyone wore the silver robes. It was our trademark, just as much as the Uchiha symbol was theirs.
"Mother, let her be," Itachi said. His passive voice was not annoyed, but I had a feeling he'd rather be somewhere else. I glanced at him, and he softly jerked his head in the other direction. It was a gesture I had come to memorize whenever I was near him. I began unwrapping the pouch around my waist and handed it to Mikoto just as she started fussing over me again.
"Ah, but Itachi, someday you'll want to see Setsuko in something different. I'll have to make her something a little more flattering for the upcoming festival. It'd be a shame to go in your normal kimono, right, Setsuko?" she didn't give me time to answer her, and delved right back into a topic Itachi and I always seemed to hear wherever we went.
I had no idea why adults always hinted that we would be together when we were older, but it certainly caused blushes to spread over both our faces whenever it was mentioned. Itachi quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me from the room. There was a light pink dusting his cheeks as we left, and I knew there was a matching one covering my own.
We hadn't gotten far before we ran into Sasuke, who was just exiting his room. He took one look at me before grinning wildly and bounding toward my figure. He wrapped his arms around me and said, "I didn't know you were coming, Setsuko-chan! Itachi didn't tell me," he whined a little, which was something I noticed he did more often these days. It usually had something to do with Itachi being too busy for him, but I never questioned it. I had many younger cousins and I knew how they could be.
"I didn't know either till mother pushed me out the door," I answered, voice emotionless. I patted his head softly and gave him a soft smile, "Itachi didn't know."
I always seemed to be defending Itachi whenever something was thrown against him. I wasn't sure why, but our parents seemed to understand. Sometimes I thought they knew more than they let on.
"When are you expected back?" Itachi asked, turning to me and watching as I shrugged.
"Before dinner, I suppose," I replied, and held out my hand to Sasuke, who grabbed it with a wide smile and began pulling me away. I threw Itachi an apprehensive glance and he smiled as he followed us. I had a feeling Sasuke wanted to practice, or something of the sort.
"It's too cold outside to throw kunai," I said, brow furrowing as Sasuke went down a familiar hallway. The small boy nodded, as though he knew very well how much snow was on the ground, and pulled me into a room I had not entered before. It had paper walls, and was a bit chilly. There was a table in the center of the room, and mats surrounding it. It smelled of cigar smoke and alcohol. I assumed it was where their father spent most of his time.
Wordlessly, Sasuke sat down and began pulling out a game board. He set it up on the large table and took a seat. Itachi sat down as well and murmured, "It's a new game Sasuke got for his birthday. It requires quite a bit of brain power, so I think it's just what you need, Setsuko."
I threw him an amused look and he smiled. We joked around enough to make it a normal happening. We spent the rest of the afternoon playing the game and throwing jibs at each other. When it was starting to get dark out, I stood up and said my goodbyes to Sasuke. Itachi walked me back to the front door and Mikoto gave me the bag back, heavier than it was when I had brought it.
"Some dinner," she claimed, after seeing my confused look. She grabbed my fur blanket and threw it around me, tying it securely at my neck and saying, "Itachi will walk you home. Give your mother my thanks for the ingredients."
I nodded and gave her a rare smile as Itachi grabbed my hand. As soon as we were out the door, we were at the wind's mercy again. I huddled closer to Itachi's form and we walked through the snowstorm toward my clan's estate. It didn't take long to get there; once the gates were in view, Itachi pulled me back and I felt his arms wrap around my freezing body, dipping into the blanket to gather some warmth himself before leaving.
Our young faces were close – I pressed my nose to his shoulder as he rested his chin on my head.
"Be safe," he said softly, and I nodded in response before we parted. I immediately missed his warmth. After gazing for a few seconds into his eyes, I turned away and dashed toward the gates where my family waited inside. His words rattled through my head...and brought me closer and closer to consciousness.
"Be safe..." No matter what, he would always make those his parting words. He said them as often as he said 'hello', or 'thank you'. It had always made me feel happy to know that he cared about my well-being. Over the years, I had forgotten them as I had forgotten the exact angles of his face. Itachi Uchiha was fading fast from my memory...
I had forgotten how relaxing the hot springs of Konoha were, and found myself sinking deeper and deeper into the comforting water. It was a relief to my wounds as any. When I had come, only fifteen minutes before, I was pleasantly surprised to find Sakura already soaking in the heated bath. The young girl seemed to just have returned from a mission as well, for there were scattered bruises and scraps running down her limbs. She opened her eyes as I slipped in and smiled.
"Setsuko-sensei," she acknowledged.
My lips curved upward in a warm smile, "Sakura. How are you?"
She responded with a deep sigh and I found myself laughing slightly at her dramatic demeanor. Before my hands touched the wet waters, I quickly twisted my long white hair into a high bun. it fell in thick, platonic strands around my face but otherwise remained tame.
"I've just finished a mission with Naruto and Sasuke," Sakura began, eyes slipping closed as she spoke, "and it was brutal. You wouldn't believe how annoying they can be when they're always fighting."
Actually, I could, but I didn't respond. I was quite used to the rivalry that existed between the two, though I hardly got to see them anymore.
"How are you, Setsuko-sensei?" Sakura suddenly asked, blatantly eyeing my most recent wounds as they curled around my pale skin. My last mission was fairly clean – there weren't many casualties to speak of. But there were still some leftover reminders of missions past, recent or not, that would probably never leave my imperfect body.
I shrugged, "Fine. I'm going out for another mission tomorrow. Not sure where yet, but it think it's gonna be a long one. Maybe a month...hopefully less," I murmured, not entirely sure why I was telling my youthful friend such things. ANBU missions were supposed to be top secret, but I had a feeling Sakura wouldn't tell anyone. I trusted her well enough.
She remained silent, and I wondered if I had upset her in any way. Just as I began to think she wasn't going to say anything more, Sakura opened her mouth to say, in a slow and slightly worried voice, "Naruto told me something...about you, Setsuko-sensei, and I was wondering if you might share something with me. I know it's personal, but..."
I raised a brow, trying to figure out what she could possibly want to ask me. My face instantly morphed into an expression of utmost seriousness when I heard her next words.
"I heard...around town, and from Naruto...that you knew Itachi Uchiha before he betrayed the village."
She was staring at me now, openly gauging my reaction with darkened eyes. I didn't give anything away, but kept my eyes focused solely on hers as I contemplated her words. I supposed I wasn't surprised by her question, because most of Konoha heard of the rumors about Itachi and I. It was a sore subject for me, though, and I couldn't help but think her sudden interest had to do with Sasuke.
"...Yes," I murmured, tearing my gaze from her and busying myself with counting the tiles on the wall across the room, "Why do you ask?"
"I was only curious," she said a bit too fast. I was certain that there was some other motive, but let it slid for now, "So...then, what was he like?"
I stared at her with widened eyes, almost willing his memory away. But I found myself unable to, and pictures of his face swelled in my mind, one after the other, until I nearly thought I was looking at Itachi himself, and not the overly curious girl before me. He was...perfect, and he would always remain so. The epitome of masculinity and prowess, and yet a contrastingly calm and introverted figure. He was kind, too. I knew because I had spent so many long years with him, trying to understand why he fought so hard and yet never hurt his opponent unless absolutely necessary. I remembered asking him only once, and his answer had done nothing but add shock and admiration to my once poignant image of him. "Imagine a world of only merciless killers, where truth is masked with lies and life is taken faster than it is given. There must always be a balance...of love, and of hatred..."
"You don't have to answer," came a hurried voice, and I was immediately broken from my daze. Sakura was once again before me, looking uncomfortable and unsure. I frowned and slowly reminded myself that she had asked a question, and that I should really answer her.
So I said what came to my mind first, "...He was just like the rest of us. He yearned to be a Shinobi. He wanted to make a name for himself. He just...did it in an unconventional way, I suppose," a grim smile twisted my lips as I thought back to that night, years and years ago, when goodbyes and rainstorms were once all I could think about.
Sakura nodded, looking as though she was thinking over my words, and stood. She glanced back at me once more and murmured, "Good luck on your next mission, Setsuko-sensei. And...thank you..."
I did not look up, or answer her at all. My hands were shaking and I felt as though memories of him would be clouding my mind for the rest of the day. I hears Sakura shuffle from the steaming room and into the dress area, and was once again left to the stark reality that Itachi Uchiha was really gone.
I nearly jumped when a hand touched mine. For the second time in such a short period, my mind was thrust back into the present. I found myself peering up dark purple eyes, which were watching me closely.
"Anko..." I breathed, surprise still flitting over my features, and she grinned a cheeky grin as she slipped into the spot Sakura had only just vacated.
Surprisingly, Anko did not speak at first. It was not an uncomfortable silence at all, though I hardly ever spoke to her. My lids were nearly closing by the time she spoke, though from sleep or those memories, I could not say.
"Sakura is much too curious for her own good," she murmured in her rough, callous voice, "but I'm sure she has a reason to ask you such things."
I looked at her, secretly shocked that she had heard, and then reminded myself that she was also of ANBU rank and therefore had superior hearing. I guessed I was just so overwhelmed by emotion at the thought of Itachi that I didn't notice her listening in.
I shrugged, face remaining a characteristic facade, and answered, "I don't blame her," Anko looked over curiously, "There are many rumors involving him. It's hard to pick out the correct ones."
Whether Anko picked up on my non-usage of Itachi's name or not, I did not know. I hardly ever used his name in common speech. Each time I did, I was plagued by a misfortune that I'd rather keep locked away. My companion finally tore her gaze from my lounging figure, "She's very attached to Sasuke Uchiha."
In the background, I could hear the peaceful droplets of water that splashed down from the fountain in the center of the bath. It was a plain fountain, with cream colored sides and a ceramic bowl. I kept my eyes trained on the path of the water, "It will only lead her to unhappiness."
I knew, because I had experience dealing with the Uchiha family. As an outsider to the ancient clan, I had tried to keep an unbiased image of it over the years. But I cannot be so diplomatic, because I have not only one reason, but two for giving up a piece of my heart to the dead members. First of all, Sasuke's family had meant just as much to me as my own did, if not more. They had shown a care that my mother had not; gave me an attention that my mother had reserved. And, of course, I had once loved one of the stoic men that made up it's firm ranks. I had loved him, and he had loved me.
"Do you think he will leave?" came her coarse voice. I glanced at Anko once more and sighed, sitting up as I reached into my hair to dislocate it from it's tall bun.
"...Sasuke has vowed to kill him. He will leave, and he will achieve his goal," I stood up, slipped a towel around my healing body, and stepped out of the hot water.
"How do you know?" Anko asked before I could make another move.
A small, flat smile curled about my dry lips, and I did not respond. I took one last glance at the loud-mouthed girl before heading off towards the changing rooms to get dressed. Afterwards, I'd probably do some shopping before heading back home to get some more sleep. I'd need my strength for the mission that was to come.
:D Surprise! I'm back~ I have a feeling more chapters will be coming out a whole lot faster.
Please drop a review on your way out ^o^ I'd appreciate the feedback! Special thanks to xxdarkvampireangelxx, who was kind enough to let me know I should keep the story up :)
