THE CASE OF THE THIRTEEN CAPTAINS
CHAPTER FOUR
Captain Kyouraku led the way to Fourth Division. We could see the busy shinigami on all sides, clearing up the massive property destruction and acid burns left behind by Captain Kurotsuchi's Bankai. Once again, I was glad that we had decided to postpone our visit till after his departure.
We were quickly shown to the room where Captain Hitsugaya was resting. He lay there on his bed, sheet drawn up over his body, face still pale from the stress of the poison, cute hair adorably tousled, and I was reminded of the great affection that we of the Female Shinigami Association have for the sweet boy genius. Unfortunately, I did not have my sketchpad with me.
His Vice-Captain leaned over him, brushing his hair back from his forehead and assisting him in sitting upright so that he could drink some water. Her breasts brushed briefly against his face, and he flushed a sudden red, no doubt affected by a lingering remnant of the poison. I failed to pay much attention, as I was too busy in ignoring my Captain's murmurs about twin moons of delight.
(I would like at this point to state that the Female Shinigami Association takes great pride in its artistic endeavours. From Kotetsu Kiyone's photographic studies, to my own work with sketchpad and brush, to Kuchiki Rukia's sculptural presentations, to Hinamori Momo's hand-sewn dolls, we have always endeavoured to raise our focus to the Ideal through vigorous study of the Physical. But I digress.)
"He's feeling much better, sir," Vice-Captain Matsumoto informed my Captain, "though still a bit shaky." She set the glass down on the table by the bed.
"Glad to hear it." My Captain strode across to look down at Captain Hitsugaya. "We'll have you chasing the girls again in no time!"
"I do not chase girls," Captain Hitsugaya stated stiffly.
"Indeed he doesn't," Vice-Captain Matsumoto confirmed. "Every night he shuts up his office nice and early, and goes home to spend a virtuous few hours reading before an early bed."
My Captain shook his head sadly. "Such abstinence in one so young. I have little hope for the future of the world. But tell me, Hitsugaya-kun, did you notice anything obvious about those plums?"
Captain Hitsugaya sniffed. "Nothing at all. They tasted perfectly normal . . ." He grew even paler. "Do you think someone actually wanted to poison Captain Ukitake? Or was it a plot to poison me? Or was it a plot to poison him after I ate them? Or was it to poison me and then have someone framed for it? Or were they trying to poison me and then feed my body to a Menos Grande as part of a Twelfth Division plot to kill them? Or was it actually a plot to frame Captain Ukitake for my murder? Or --"
"Hush, hush," his Vice-Captain soothed him, drawing him back to rest against her chest. He assumed a board-like rigidity of demeanour, his mouth snapping shut.
"Do you expect to be murdered?" my Captain asked, with what might have been mistakenly taken to be a wistful tone.
Captain Hitsugaya's very hair seemed to bristle. "I have for a long time been aware of a persistent and malicious campaign against me. From the casual references to my height, to the comments about my age, to the No Children notices hastily fastened to the doors of drinking establishments -- not that I would consider entering them, of course -- to the suggestions that I might be somewhat small, not to mention the loudly expressed thoughts that members of the Gotei 13 should be taller than their own zanpakutou . . . In answer to your question, Captain, yes, I believe that there are those who resent my presence here."
"You're imagining it," Vice-Captain Matsumoto soothed him. "Nobody tries complaining about Vice-Captain Yachiru now, do they?"
"Nobody would dare," Captain Hitsugaya muttered.
"But no suggestions about overarching plots against Soul Society?" my Captain pressed. "No hidden relics which might bring us all down in cataclysmic ruin? No assassins? No lurking conspiracies? No plots to fake anyone's death and use the opportunity to seize power?"
"No." Captain Hitsugaya seemed vastly disappointed. "Why, do you know about any?"
"No," my Captain said reluctantly. "I hoped you might."
Further questioning proved only that Captain Hitsugaya had, as usual, seized upon Captain Ukitake's pickled plums, but had been sadly disappointed in their taste. He had also been present at the poison exhibition in Twelfth Division, but had not noted anything of particular interest, having been too busy shielding "his Hinamori-kun" from any possible danger.
On our way out, Captain Unohana informed us that the young Captain of Tenth Division would soon be released from her care. She needlessly smoothed a single hair back into place in her perfect braid, and stated in tones of smiling calm that should she find that my Captain was responsible for Captain Kurotsuchi paying a visit to Fourth, he would regret it by any and all means that she could possibly devise.
We left with all appropriate haste. I found this a wonderful incentive to persuade Captain Kyouraku to actually do some work.
---
Several days later, I regret to say, no progress had been made. Captain Hitsugaya had been released from Fourth Division, and had returned to his customary duties with his own Division, bringing a much-needed sense of order and discipline to the shinigami under his command. Of course, this freed Vice-Captain Matsumoto to return to her habitual drinking sessions with my Captain, bringing a much-needed sense of peace and quiet to my office.
It was at that point in the early evening when all seems most placid and most beautiful, when I was tracing with impeccable penmanship the first line of my report concerning Divisional readiness for action, and when the twin snores of my Captain and Vice-captain Matsumoto had reached their apogee, that Vice-Captain Abarai Renji burst into my room. "Have you seen Hinamori-kun?" he demanded.
I cast my mind back. To be honest, I had not been in close contact with the young woman for several days. When I had seen her in public places, she had seemed hushed and emotional, more prone than usual to relying on the judgement of "Aizen-sama", and almost as timorous as Vice-Captain Kira Izuru. (Which takes a great deal of effort.) In retrospect, I should have done more than enquire about her current reading matter.
I said as much to Abarai Renji, who rubbed at his tattoos fretfully. "Not that it's anything serious," he noted, "but I was passing by Tenth just now, and saw that there was some sort of disturbance going on, and thought that perhaps Hinamori could soothe Captain Hitsugaya down. With Matsumoto elsewhere . . ." He tactfully ignored the drunken bodies behind me.
"Perhaps," I suggested, "we could both go over and investigate."
"Might be an idea," he agreed.
Leaving a note for my Captain, pinned to the brim of his hat, I sped in Vice-Captain Abarai's wake. He led the way at speed to Tenth Division, where there was indeed, as he had said, a disturbance. Captain Hitsugaya had apparently gone berserk and gone into full bankai mode in the middle of the compound. His minions had fled, save for those few who were attempting to wave white flags while donning snowboots and mittens.
"Oi!" Abarai yelled at the top of his voice. "Captain Hitsugaya! Hold it right there!"
With a scream of soul-rending agony, Captain Hitsugaya directed his ice dragon at us.
"It must be an after-effect of the poison!" I cried out as we dodged. "Vice-Captain Abarai, can you subdue him without causing too much damage?"
"Leave it to me," Abarai said firmly, already settling his legs into a manly pose of decisiveness and extending his zanpakutou before him.
I felt I could safely entrust him with the situation -- or at least, could be sure that he would wear down Captain Hitsugaya somewhat while further help was summoned. However, something must have set this off. What could it be? I sidestepped the oncoming confrontation, and quietly stepped into Captain Hitsugaya's office.
At first all seemed much as usual -- a glacially neat desk with towering ramparts of paperwork squared off at the corners, a pile of empty sake jugs in the corner, a sofa with a sign on it stating MATSUMOTO'S SPOT. But certain matters were awry. A teacup lay shattered on the floor, the last few dregs now a stain upon the smoothed wooden planks. The chair had been pushed back from the desk and stood at an angle which did not match the neatness of the rest of the room. A swelling puddle of blood showed under the door of Captain Hitsugaya's private library.
I flung the library door open. There, in the middle of the room, lay the body of Hinamori Momo, lips still parted in an expression of shock. The evening light fell across her face from the window, giving an illusory peace to her face. She had been impaled by, it seemed, a single sword thrust, and lay in a pool of her own blood in front of the bookshelves.
Barely conscious of the sudden crash and then cessation of noise from outside, I dropped on my knees beside her. No wonder Captain Hitsugaya had been in such a state, if he had found her here like this! Yet, as I checked her vital signs, I realised that all was not yet lost; she still lived, she still breathed. There was a chance of saving her! I did my best to pad and bind her wounds, calling for help as I did so.
And yet -- I could not help but observe. She had been impaled by a single sword thrust that had passed through her body, from back to front; a thrust of such force that it had chipped one of the shelves in front of her, which showed a long scratch fresh in the varnish at what would have been the height of Hinamori's waist. She had been in a room which opened onto Captain Hitsugaya's office, and nowhere else; the window was impossible to enter through, set as it was with bars, even though the shutters stood open.
I could not say that I liked the direction in which this evidence pointed.
There was another crash behind me as Vice-Captain Matsumoto entered the room. She paused, and gasped. "What's happened here?"
"Hinamori has been stabbed," I said, and I must regret the note of annoyance that entered my voice at this need to state the incredibly obvious. "Are Fourth Division coming?"
"They're outside," she replied. "But at the moment they're getting Captain Hitsugaya into a nice comfortable straightjacket and strapping him to a stretcher. He seems to be a bit unstable. I tried all the usual methods of calming him down, but even the one with my breasts didn't work."
"I see. Please send some in here as well. And, ah . . ." I frowned. "Do you know anything about this?"
Matsumoto looked down at Hinamori's bleeding form in horror. "Only that Hinamori-kun was going to visit him this afternoon. Who could have done a thing like this?"
I thought it best not to comment.
---
"Describe the situation," my Captain said again, his feet propped upon Captain Hitsugaya's desk and his hat tilted over his eyes.
I frowned, recalling the details. "She was lying face up. But she had been stabbed from behind. Would it be possible . . ."
"Quite possible," Captain Kyouraku nodded. "If she was released from the blade with a sudden jerk, it is feasible that her body could have been spun round in falling, much as when . . . not that I would wish to sully your chaste ears with such images, my adorable Nanao-chan, unless --"
"Possible," I said briskly. "In that case, surely the person involved would have been close enough to have been spattered with blood himself."
"Indeed." My Captain raised his hat to regard me in a sombre and meaningful fashion. "If I did insist that Hitsugaya-kun be placed under close arrest and supervision, Nanao, it was because he did not have any blood upon his extremely white and stainable coat. Someone is, to be frank, framing him."
I gasped. "But then, was the original poisoning also directed against him? Could someone have assumed that Captain Ukitake would automatically give him the plums to eat?"
"It is conceivable," my Captain mused. "Or that whoever did this had no qualms about murdering Jyushirou as well. These are deep waters, my lovely Nanao-chan."
"Is Hinamori-fukutaichou safely in medical care, sir?" I asked. I knew she had been taken away by Fourth Division, but as yet there was no word of her status.
My Captain sighed. "She is stable, but unlikely to be conscious for a while yet. And even when she is, I am not sure how much she will be able to tell us."
I had to nod. "She was stabbed from behind, after all. But if she noticed something odd . . ."
"Indeed," he cut in. "What about the reports on Hitsugaya?"
I consulted my book. "Fourth and Twelfth Division both report that in his system they found a variant of the previous poison, causing him to go berserk. It is possible," I emphasised the word, "that this was a resurgence of the previous poisoning, latent in his body tissues from then, and unprovoked by anything else."
"But you fail to believe that," my Captain pointed out.
"As do you, sir," I agreed.
Captain Kyouraku sighed. "It does little good to have a theory about the authors of these rephrensible crimes, including not only how they were committed but also where and when, if I cannot prove why."
"You have a theory, sir?" I murmured.
"Dozens," he sighed, with a lazy gesture of one hand. "And in particular, one which I believe to be correct. But I do not know why."
"A rapid answer would be useful, sir," I was moved to state. "Especially given Captain Aizen's attitude."
My Captain adjusted his careful posture. He had been the one who interposed himself between the angry Captain Aizen and the babbling Captain Hitsugaya, and the situation could not have been said to have gone well. "Indeed," he muttered, rubbing certain sensitive body parts.
I resettled my glasses. Clearly I could be of no further assistance here. "If you will excuse me, sir," I said, "I shall finish putting the administration for this Division in order. Vice-Captain Matsumoto has requested my assistance while she consoles her Captain through the bars of his cell."
"Of course." My Captain yawned. "Though I wouldn't have thought Hitsugaya-kun had left you much to do."
"Very little, sir," I was forced to admit. "I was struck by his diligence, his hard work, his meticulous nature, his absolute control of all details of his Division . . ."
Captain Kyouraku wilted in the chair.
". . . in fact," I concluded, "there is little to do except to hand in the daily requisitions and return some books to the archives."
The Captain stiffened. "Say that again, adorable, beautiful, precious Nanao-chan."
I repeated my words, in as clipped and precise a manner as possible.
He sprang to his feet in a swirl of robes and a flash of pinkness. "You have it!" He embraced me. "With those few words, my Nanao-chan . . . Nanao-chan, would you please remove your knee from there, yes, thank you, that will do nicely. Indeed! I believe you have resolved the situation."
"And what is the solution?" I enquired curiously.
"Simple!" he said, cheerfully. "You have placed the clue to the person's identity in my willing hand. I have but to close it, thus --"
I brought my book down.
". . . and the murderer shall be a palpitating mass of agony," he sighed, regarding his bruised fingers.
---
