Once more, for this chapter in particular: I don't own anything that isn't mine. Until Dawn is not mine, despite the love I have for it. Alright, here we go!
Chapter Three:
"Boom. Butterfly Effect." Chris wiggled his fingers, miming an explosion. Abby began clapping her hands sarcastically, and Chris, always fond of an adoring audience, pretended to bow. "Thank you, thank you." He responded cheekily. I chuckled, rolling my eyes at the both of them.
"And this one decision that you made to explain the Butterfly Effect to me," I began, looking at Chris beside me on the cable car seat, "may cause me to leave Blackwood Pines and never speak to you again. Boom. Butterfly Effect."
Abby began laughing. She placed her hands over her mouth, yelling, "ooohh!" And with a smirk, she looked at Chris, and used her best announcer voice to proclaim, "aaand the serve was returned, bringing the score to fifteen-love. Will Chris ever recover?"
As Chris began stumbling around for a snarky response, a strange ball of energy began in my stomach and spread out to my limbs. The intense feeling of nostalgia racked my body, leaving a bittersweet feeling in its wake. The three of us always had a keen ability of making others feel better, if only by feigning a sense of normality. Not many things between us were awkward, and usually we could put ourselves and others at ease. There was a decent chance that this would be the calm before the storm, especially considering the personalities that would be here this weekend.
Of course, all the memories and unspoken words were doing their best to find their way to the surface, but I used everything I could to push them below. Just like everyone else probably was, I'm sure. No memories of last year. No mention of the shattered states we were all in. None of the breakdowns, none of the fall outs. Everything was okay.
"Okay, wait." Abby interjected into the silence, causing my body to tense up. I began to fear that she might bring up something about last year. My blood was cold. "Real talk." Never mind, we're safe. That was more or less Abby's code phrase for gossip. "So Emily is with Matt now?"
I couldn't help but laugh. I had gotten so scared of what Abby could have said that her consistent lack of latest gossip was refreshing and funnier than it usually was. It took her two months to realize when Emily and Mike had gotten together. Granted, they had been flirting for a while so it didn't look like much had changed, but we all always still liked to poke fun at her obliviousness. "Yes, Abby. They've been together for a few months now."
Chris tsked and shook his head. "Abby: always asking the important questions." Abby jaw fell open, as she pretended to be offended. Chris just shrugged playfully.
"Well," Abby began slowly, "I would have asked about you and Ash, but, uh…" she grimaced at Chris and said quietly, "I already knew the answer to that one." Chris put his hands over his heart as if he were wounded, though he couldn't fight the smile that began to creep onto his face.
Using my best announcer voice, I yelled, "Oh! And Chris takes another hit, bringing the score to thirty-love. I'm beginning to wonder if Chris is out of his league with these opponents." Abby fell into hysterics, which actually was refreshing to see. The familiarity of her curls falling onto her face and her hand reaching up to cover her mouth, like a form of defense.
Defeated, Chris muttered, "Well, if you guys are just going to gang up on me…" As he physically turned her body away from Abby and me, the cable car finally reached the station at the top of the mountain. For a moment, I had forgotten where we were, lost in the moment. It was a wonderful feeling.
As the three of us stepped into the station, an intense feeling of sadness swept the momentary happiness away. The memories up here with Hannah were some of the ones I still held onto after everything. And now we were here and it was almost like I could still feel her with me. Which, for some reason, felt more alarming than reassuring.
Abby must have seen my expression flicker, because she began to head over to me. I expected a hand squeeze or a classic Abby I'm-here smile, but instead she only looked at me and then at Chris, and muttered just loud enough for him to hear. "Did you invite this guy? 'Cause I know I did not."
The bubble of laughter burst from me before I even registered that her joke was funny. I was so desperately in need for a laugh. Chris turned around with a finger raised to defend himself, but when he saw that I was laughing so hard a tear came out of the corner of my eye, he just smiled and let out a laugh too.
January 9th, 2014
"You guys sure you'll be okay?" Chris looked doubtingly at me and Hannah. Sometimes I couldn't understand how dumb he could be. Here we were, trying to give him and his crush some alone time through the dark, scary forest, and he was insisting that we shouldn't go up alone.
"Chris, Hannah and I are big girls now, I think we can handle a half mile walk up a mountain." I did my best to shoo him on his way. Pretty sure he didn't get the hint, he just got tired of arguing. "We'll be just a little while behind you. You guys go, Josh is waiting for you."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Ashley laughed and turned around, heading for the door. Chris reached it before she could. A slight hint of red began to tint her face as she thanked him and stepped outside. With a nervous breath, Chris went through the door and let it swing shut behind him.
The click of the handle closing relieved a weird sense of awkward that had managed to build while the four of us skated around our ulterior motives. Hannah and I breathed out a collective sigh of relief with the invisible pressure lifted. Slowly she rose from her crouched position, having lied to Chris and Ashley about not being able to find her glasses case. She had been pretending to rummage around in her backpack. Tricky Hannah, I thought. She could be more devious than people gave her credit for.
"You'd think that he'd take the hint." I remarked, putting my hands on my hips like I was tired out after a long day of work.
"Well, you know Chris." Hannah shrugged. "Anything that has to do with Ashley and he turns into a pile of mush." Both of us laughed, and I turned myself to lean against one of the safety railings. A few moments later and Hannah was by my side. I leaned back, using my arms on the rail to support me. "How much time should we give them?" Hannah wondered aloud, using the side of her glasses to adjust them farther up to the bridge of her nose.
"Just a few minutes head start is probably fine." I responded, figuring they would walk at a decent speed. Hannah nodded beside me and leaned back, her fingers brushing mine on the railing. My stomach jumped. I glanced at Hannah at the exact moment her eyes travelled to mine. A tiny red blush was beginning to blossom on her cheeks. Quickly, she lowered her eyes to the ground, though a faint smile played on her lips. Her nose was turning red from the cold.
In a moment that felt like a lifetime, I felt overly aware of everything. Her puffy black earmuffs that reaffirmed her aura of innocence. Her long, straight dark hair cascading down past her shoulders. The perfect pink of her full lips, made even more beautiful by the smile fighting its way onto her face. The smile that I know she reserved for me. Cute and coy and special. My stomach was buzzing, and when Hannah looked up at me, I couldn't help myself.
All of a sudden, I reached out my hands and pulled her face towards mine, meeting her halfway. Electricity coursed through my body. Her lips were softer than I had imagined. Slowly, they began to move with mine. She was soft and gentle. Goosebumps began to grow on my arms. This was complete bliss.
Too soon, Hannah pulled away, her face now completely flushed. For a moment, I was worried that I had overstepped, but then she grinned. Without even thinking, a smile spread across my face, and I pushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. She pressed her face into my hand.
Waking us from our trance, Hannah's phone buzzed from her pocket. She jolted a bit, scared by the sudden noise. Apparently, the message wasn't important enough for her to read it, sending another wave of happiness through my body. But we both knew we had to begin walking or people would worry. In tacit agreement, we pushed ourselves off of the railing and strolled through the door of the station and into the cold. Within a few seconds, Hannah broke the silence. "Wonder if Chris finally grew a pair." After a few moments of consideration, we just laughed in response.
"The door won't open." Chris grunted while he attempted to pull on the handle using his whole body weight. No dice. It must be locked with some kind of mechanism from the outside. That makes no sense, I thought to myself. Wonder who designed that.
"Well, what do we do now? This wasn't in the instructions." Abby laughed half-heartedly, stepping closer to the door to take a good look. Right as Abby had gotten to the window, Jess appeared from around the corner. She must have been sitting on the bench out front. Before she realized we were here, we had already yelled her name.
Jess jumped back a few steps with her hand over her heart. "Ahh! What the hell?!" Never one to let others see her without being fully composed, she fell back onto her natural response to embarrassment: snark. "Uh, are you guys having a really weird stroke?" I pushed away a brief spark of anger. Forgiveness, I reminded myself. Hadn't I forgiven a while ago?
Abby waved. "Hey, Jess." She strained her naturally quiet voice for it to be heard through the door.
"We're stuck in this stupid thing." Chris explained.
"Can you get us out of here?" I asked pleadingly. For emphasis, I added, "Pretty please?" Jess walked over to what was most likely some sort of control panel, and with a loud click, the door unlocked. Chris pulled it open and the three of us poured out. Even though it wasn't incredibly terrifying to be stuck inside, there was still a sense of relief.
"Oh. My. God." Chris stated, sounding exactly like a teenage girl. "I thought we were goners." Abby and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. "Another ten minutes in there and I would've chewed off my own leg."
"Aw, sick, Chris." I muttered, turning away from him. Sometimes Chris got a little too gruesome. The downside of trying to be the funny guy. Sometimes it's a bit too much.
Eager to change the subject, Chris noticed that Jess was clutching something in her hands. "Is this what I think it is?" He made a move to grab it from her hand, but she was able to jerk it away in time, though not before he got a better look at it. It appeared to be a letter. "My goodness. Seems like someone has a lil' crush on our good friend and dear class president Michael Munroe."
"Aw, leave her alone, dude." Abby cut in unexpectedly, taking a step towards Jess as if she was her bodyguard. While she thought no one was looking, Jess flashed Abby a grateful look. When had they become friends?
"You'll figure it out eventually." Jess had adopted her regular, unperturbed air. The spark was back in her eyes, though her lips were drawn a little tighter than before.
"Alright, alright. Let's just get up to the lodge already. Getting tired of all this nature and junk." Chris decided, attempting to regain control of the conversation. I had already lost my focus on the conversation. Behind Abby was the most gorgeous view I had ever seen. The trees on the mountain, snow glistening off the branches and the thistles and the ground… The wind was blowing the snow in waves across the mountain, and the sun was nearly gone, giving the whole place a dusky tint. It was so beautifully dark. There was something poetic to be said, if only I could be so eloquent.
"Sam?" I heard my name through a fog. For a moment, it sounded like… But it couldn't be. And yet, I heard her.
"Sam!" Hannah's voice rang through the house. "Sam!" It was like the sound of a bell ringing. So light and airy. Hannah ran into our shared room and watched as I removed my pajamas from my suitcase. Then, as if she had just remembered there was a reason she was running up the stairs to find me, she ran over and threw something in my direction.
"What?" I laughed at her goofy grin. Goofy Hannah, I noted. Was she tipsier than I thought she was? She picked it up from where it landed on the bed, and launched it towards me again. It looked like a note. My eyebrows scrunched in confusion, but I gently took the note from her hands. The handwriting was sloppy.
Hannah, it was addressed, You look so damn hot in that shirt...but I bet you're even hotter out of it. "You've gotta be kidding me." I muttered. My stomach began filling with a disgusting sense of dread. Hannah wouldn't. Did she really believe…? The note ended with a summoning to meet "Mike" in the guest room at two o'clock. And, of course, a cute little "xxx" sign off. All of this reeked like one of the girls.
"Isn't this so exciting?!" Hannah spewed, beginning to pace back and forth besides me. "I didn't think he noticed me, but he did tonight! This is incredible! It's fantastic!" As she began to ramble, each word cut into me like a knife. Had she forgotten about what had happened only hours before? I know we hadn't really talked about it, but I had thought that once the alcohol wore off tonight… Nausea was welling up inside me.
"Hannah." I said weakly. She noticed. Her expression dropped, and she ran over to stand in front of me. Her eyes sparkled with worry. "But. I thought." Nothing entering my mind was coherent. I felt like a bumbling idiot. A hurt, bumbling idiot. "We kissed." Those were the only words that I could speak. And even those weren't enough to encapsulate every ounce of hurt and confusion and anger I was beginning to feel.
"I know, but this is Mike." Hannah spoke softly, like if she was gentle enough, she could prevent the pieces inside me from falling apart. As if they already hadn't. "You know this is just whatever. He has Emily." Another reason she didn't understand, pointing only towards a lie. "I finally get to be that girl! No strings attached, gets to hook up with her dream man! Sam, I thought you supported me and Mike."
This was unbelievable. Not only couldn't she understand that this was clearly some kind of prank, but she thought that since this was Mike the almighty, she could just waltz around with him and do whatever she wanted. Like I would be waiting for her once she was finished. God, how tipsy was she? Can she even see that I have feelings for her? In what world would I have ever kissed her if I didn't like her?
"I'm sorry, Sam, but I have to go soon." Her words were like daggers through the silence. Any part of me that would have told her to really consider if this was truthful was gone. Pain took over every part of my body, and all I could feel was a desire for her to feel an ounce of the embarrassment and pain and rejection that I was feeling. I knew she didn't love Mike the way I loved her. And she was too blind to see anything.
"Just go." I muttered under my breath. I covered my head with my hands, squeezing as I tried to calm the explosion yearning to break free from my brain and my chest.
"Sam?"
"GO!"
A few footsteps scattering across the floor. And then silence. Deafening silence. My sobs began to fill the room. Yet somehow that felt better than the emptiness of the room and the inside of my heart.
"...Sam?" Once more, my name appeared through a fog. It wasn't Hannah, I realized. Chris had said my name. I had just wanted it to be her. A moment passed where I stayed still, but once I remembered that I should give a response, I turned around. Chris was looking at me, waiting for a response to a question I totally missed. I remembered where I was. And the view was gorgeous.
"Do you see this view?" I asked, motioning with my arms to the majesty I had just been staring at. "I mean, holy cow!" Those were the only words I could summon. "Sometimes I forget to just stop and take it all in."
"Maybe we can find you a nice tent in the house." Abby laughed and began walking on the trail towards the Washington house. Step by step, getting closer to a night that would inevitably be beyond any of our imaginations. For a moment, I felt like I was drowning inside my own body, helpless in a universe way bigger than myself.
"Bye Jess!" Chris waved and very obviously winked at Jess, who appeared to be staying back by the cable car, waiting for who I assumed to be Mike.
All of a sudden, I was back. Chris, Abby and I. Three non-awkward musketeers. It was just weekend. Nothing I couldn't handle with the help of friends. I pushed the memories beneath the surface. No more. Tonight, we would relive the happy. Tonight, we were porn stars. I smiled to myself, and took the first step towards our future.
A/N: Sorry this one took a bit longer—some bad personal things happened and I was kinda struggling to get through a few things. But it is here now, and I hope you enjoyed. It moved through editing a little fast, so I hopefully it ended up okay. Thanks for the reviews that you guys have given me. I appreciate them so much. It's so nice to know that I'm not just doing this for myself, and that other people care about my writing. Life is messed up sometimes, but the even the little things can help get you through. See you soon for another installment!
