Hey I am pretty much crying well I re-write this chapter. Yes re-write because I was a fool and saved the wrong dang file to the wrong dang chapter and the real chapter 4 got wiped. So… Luckily enough it wasn't all that long as it was more or less wrote like a journal in her heard.

The first year of Arinda's life is going to be more or less boring and all around pointless to write. I am not going to make a super powerful, genius, amazing, super baby who can talk, walk, and shoot lasers out of her eyes. No she will be like any normal baby who can't talk or walk until they are at least one.

Anyone looking for a good Dragon Age Self-insert read "Days of our Lives" by Lee Totema. She already finished her first story which goes through Origins and the second which is about Awakening.

(Reviews on how to write better are always appreciated. Flames will be read and or ignored.)

I don't own the Dragon Age series, books, or movies.


Living with Varric was both terrifying and amusing. It was an amusing experience because the male didn't know how to take care of babies. It was also terrifying because he didn't know how to take care of babies.

The fool thought it was a good idea to give a baby some ale when he didn't have any baby food handy. Both he and I paid for that mistake. I was busy puking my guts up and being afraid of all the other liquids coming out of my many orifices. Varric was busy being knocked on the head multiple times by Bianca and Natal.

In the same time frame Varric learned how to change my diaper (if you can even call it that.) That was a very dark time in my life I never want to repeat again. Ever. Surprisingly enough it only took two weeks for me to get a rash from Varric not cleaning my butt properly. So I had to get some weird ointment on my ass that tingled. Shortly after the rash was gone I got another one as the dwarf cleaned my butt too good and rubbed it raw. He got hit over the head again and I got more tingly ointment on my butt.

In truth despite Varric's all-around lack of knowledge he isn't such a bad guy. He gave me a pretty dagger to play with when he saw me staring. It was promptly confiscated by Bianca when she saw me with it. The blonde was hit over the head well I sulked.

Bianca did buy me a stuffed Nug toy soon after; which I started crying over when I saw the feet. Creepy is an understatement for those things feet. I didn't stop crying until Varric cut the feet off and sewed them up so they only had nubs for its front feet. Bianca was not happy when she visited me.

My vision finally cleared up where I could see everything with perfect clarity when I was around five months old. I remember this because this is when I fell in love. I saw Natal in all his glory, tall with smoldering inky black eyes. His hair a silky raven color which lay on his head messily but looked oh so right on him; to top it off with his tattoos and being an elf… he is perfect.

I am most certain everyone knew what happened. I turned into a squealing mess and did not shut up until he held me. The whole time the elf held me I was making doe eyes at him. When Varric said we had to go home I gave Natal a big slobbery kiss before Varric took me. Seeing as I still had next to no motor skills it was more of a dog kiss but… Eh.

The young dwarf looked aghast at Natal then I. Varric took off back to The Hanged Man at an amazing speed well Bianca laughed and the elf just looked confused. I was a giggling mess at home as Varric tried to explain to me why I could not like Natal. 'How the elf was a bad bad man and too weird. He never listens and has too many tattoos and damn-it Natal is too old for me!'

I had my first night terrors when I was seven months old. I was remembering my time when I was getting tortured. The burning, breaking, crying and fear. Varric began to read to me before I slept and sometimes during. It helped a lot, he didn't get much sleep and he had bags under his eyes. When Bianca or Natal offered to take me for a few days he blatantly refused.

He said he couldn't abandon me just because he was a little tired. He didn't want to be like the people who left me in the woods to die. My night terrors stopped shortly after that. I did start dreaming of rainbow dragons who danced around a fire with halla that were made of gold though. Varric is lucky I can't talk and call him on his bullshit.

It's around the same time that I saw myself in a mirror for the first time. I looked like a normal baby other than the pointed ears and oh yeah… all white eyes! I have no iris or pupil, my whole eye is just a pearl white. That defies all logic with me being able to see. No I am not from the Hyuga clan!

Other than that I had a small tuff of plain brown hair on my head and lightly tanned skin. I was thinner; I think it is from me being an elf and not me being underfed. Varric fed me well and despite the first few bumps he has learned what I need.

I was rarely taken out of our room and never taken out of The Hanged Man. Bartrand never really dropped by. The few times he did he spoke to Varric about some of the guilds and merchants that came by and what went on. Apparently Varric wanted to stay in the loop. The older dwarf scowled whenever he looked at me and didn't even say hi.

When I was nine months old Varric bought a few small plants and put them around the room. He said something about me being a baby and that I needed fresh air. He grumbled about the elves in the Alienage's lecturing him too. The plants were pretty I suppose, I know nothing about flowers though. Give me a weed and I will think it is a flower and vice versa.

I was surprisingly happy with everything. Varric is a kind man… Dwarf. He takes care of me and more. Bianca visits often and brings many baby clothes. Natal also comes by with herbs and books about babies and what they need. Everything was more or less perfect, but just like a poem said- Everything gold can't stay.