Oi, here's chapter 4. It's a pretty good one, if I do say so myself. I hope you guys enjoy it! We're getting closer and closer to the big finish! Haa
Songs used: Rascal Flatts – What Hurts the Most and Incubus – Love Hurts
I gazed up into her deep, dark, brown eyes, taking in the fact that she finally understood everything I felt. She let go of my arms and stood up straight, allowing me to sit up on the bed.
"Close like…being right next to someone. The feeling of being right there next to them and knowing they'll never think of you the same way you think of them."
"Oh."
She sounded almost disappointed.
"Well, like you told me. There's no need to feel lonely, you'll always have me. Even if neither of us find someone that we can marry, have a family with, and grow old with…we'll always have each other."
I sat on the bed looking up at her, my eyes tracing her lips with every word she spoke. I couldn't tell whether she was being sincere or not, or if it was just something to say to console me and get me to shut up. On the other hand, she was the one that dragged it out of me in the first place, so maybe she really meant what she said. It made me happy to know that, for a split second, she was standing in the middle of my dream world, seeing everything, understanding everything. Finally we were on the same page; after years of hide and seek, she finally caught me.
"I guess."
She leaned in and gave me a hug. I sat there morosely.
"You better finish packing. It's almost midnight. Spencer's going to be asleep before we even get there."
"You haven't even started yet."
She threw a balled up pair of socks at me. I stood up and chunked them back at her, slowly meandering towards her open door, leaving the complacency of her room in my dusk.
"Cheer up, sourpuss."
I stopped and turned around to face her. Making a split second decision, I walked over to her and embraced her in a tight hug.
"Thanks, Cupcake."
I whispered in her ear and pulled away, kissing her gently on the cheek as I went. Carly's hand shot up to the spot where my lips had briefly been.
"No…problem."
I was out the door before she finished her reply.
The car ride was, to say the least, quiet and awkward. I sat in the passenger seat regrettably, wishing I hadn't cracked and let my thoughts out. Part of me hated myself for hinting at the fact that I was in love with her, but another part was telling me it was for the best. I wasn't sure whether or not I made the right move by bending the truth and warding her away from what I really meant. For the past 5 years I'd dreamt of nothing but telling her. And judging by her reaction, I should have come right out and confessed my love for her. She sounded so disappointed when I contradicted her question, too. I hated sitting in awkward silence, especially with her. She was my best friend, and I was hers, it wasn't supposed to be like this.
"Carly?"
"Yeah?"
She didn't take her eyes off the road.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For…whatever I did to make you upset."
"Who said I was upset?"
"Well, you haven't said a word to me since we left."
"I've just been-"
"And the way you said my name earlier…it didn't sound the way it usually does when you say it."
She squinted her eyes and then looked down at the radio. I knew that face; that was her thinking face.
"I didn't hurt you with something I said, did I?"
She shook her head, still refusing to look at me. I turned my head around towards the window, busying myself with watching the trees pass by at seventy-five miles an hour along the side of the interstate. After a minute or so of stillness, she broke the silence with her delicate voice.
"You pay attention to the way I say your name?"
I whipped my head around, startled by the sound of her voice and the words that escaped her lips.
"What?"
"Sam…do I say it differently than everyone else?"
"I don't…uh, I guess. I don't know."
"You just said that I said it a different way than I usually do…what does that mean?"
"I don't know, you just sounded upset with me…like I hurt you in some way. You know that's the last thing I want."
She just sat there.
"The fucking world could be falling to pieces around us and I wouldn't care, as long as you're happy."
She was thinking again.
"Carly, you're my best friend…I don't want you mad at me for anything."
"I'm not mad or upset with you. I promise. I'm just stressed out about something."
I sat back in my seat, laying my head on the head rest behind me.
"Talk to me, then."
She sighed.
"I talked to Jake the other day for the first time in forever."
As soon as she said his name, my heart dropped.
"We had lunch yesterday, too. Talked about a lot of stuff, caught up and whatnot."
"Sounds fun."
"Yeah…it was good to see him again."
I sat silently staring out the window again. That's exactly what I needed: for Jake to go and fuck with Carly's heart again. Even though we were only friends in her eyes, I was pretty sure I had 100% of her heart; but not anymore. Given the fact that she was head over heels in love with Jake back in high school and that it took her forever to get over their break up, I knew that if they dated again, I would lose her completely. That small, one-in-a-billion chance that I had to be with her would be stepped on, run over, and completely destroyed by Jake Crandall.
"He said he wanted to hang out with us sometime."
"That's cool."
She nodded slowly, catching the drift that I was a little ticked. I absolutely hated Jake, for the same reason I hated Freddie and that Shane guy that she liked way back when. Though, I admit, I thought I liked Shane, too, but really, I just wanted him away from Carly.
"Are we almost there?"
"Yeah, we'll be there in about 5 minutes."
"Good, I'm tired."
"Hey, Carly! Sam!"
"Hey."
We spoke in unison, quite unenthusiastically.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"We're just tired. Ready for bed."
"Well, Merry Christmas, then! I'll see you two in the morning for Christmas breakfast. I'm making your favorite spaghetti tacos, Sam."
"For breakfast?"
Carly acted as if something like that was out of the ordinary for Spencer.
"Of course for breakfast. Every time is a good time for spaghetti tacos."
She rolled her eyes at me and headed for the stairs. I grabbed the strap of her bag that was hanging on her shoulder.
"Let me get that."
She allowed me to slide it off her shoulder and throw it around mine.
"Thanks."
"Not a problem. See you in the morning, Spencer. We'll have breakfast and catch up."
"Sounds like a plan. Goodnight, girls."
"Night, Spencer."
"Night."
We both climbed the stairs and filed into Carly's room. I dropped our bags on the floor and flopped down on one of her bean bag chairs.
"Feels good to be back here again."
"Yeah, I miss it."
"Remember that one time we were doing iCarly…"
I got up and walked toward the window.
"…and we threw water balloons at people down there?"
"Yeah, and the random dancing. That was my favorite."
"Yeah…man, we used to have so much fun up here."
"I love how we get all nostalgic when we come here."
"Yep, every time."
I threw myself on her bed, propping my head up on my arms.
"We should do an iCarly reunion show or something."
She sat down next to me, grabbed the TV remote, and turned on the TV. An old rerun of Girly Cow was playing.
"That's a good idea. We should."
"Call Dorkwad tomorrow and tell him about it."
She giggled.
"Okay."
"We can do it on New Years or something."
"Yeah."
I sighed. We sat in silence for a few seconds.
"Well, I guess I'm gonna go to bed. I'm about to pass out."
"Me too."
"Where am I sleeping?"
She shrugged, a lingering smile still present on her face.
"Doesn't matter."
I looked around.
"You can have the bed if you want."
"Where are you gonna sleep, then?"
She shrugged once again.
"Here, I guess. If you don't mind."
She stood up and pulled back the covers on her bed, hinting at me to get off. I got up and pulled back the other side. It had only been last night that we slept in the same bed, but it seemed like this was the very first time it had happened since we were younger. My heart was racing; I was so nervous, like I was about to take a test that would determine if I lived or died at this very moment.
"Why would I mind? It's your bed."
"I know, but you're company."
I laughed.
"Since when am I company? I practically lived here when we were younger."
Oddly enough, it kind of hurt that she considered me "company". For the longest time, we always told everyone I lived with her, only because I was over here so often. I very rarely went home unless it was to grab more clothes or something like that. I never wanted to deal with my mom's bullshit, so I stayed away as much as possible. But now I was just "company". Carly failed to return my laugh; she made her way over to her bag and pulled out some pajama pants and a tank top.
"Sorry, I just meant that you should have the bed to yourself if you wanted it."
"I don't mind, Carls. You can sleep here too, if you want. Or if you want it to yourself, I'll sleep on the couch."
I laid back down on the bed and followed her with my eyes. Now she giggled.
"Guess we're sharing a bed again tonight, then."
She looked back at me and smiled before pulling her dress up and over her head, leaving her almost naked body exposed to me. I looked away instantly, not wanting to violate her privacy, but I just couldn't help myself. I had to look; she was practically asking me to. Carly might as well have been standing right in front of me, stripping. She was amazingly slim and toned. She had somewhat of a six pack with a pierced belly button. Her skin was tan now, as compared to her previous milky white complexion, but not overly so; it was a nice, even tan. I was even more excited to see what she had on under that little black dress of hers, though. A sexy set of, what appeared to be Victoria Secret, dark purple lace underwear and bra. Oh, and she wore it perfectly, too. It hugged her body so tightly and fit so flawlessly. Like I said, she should have been a model. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to look away at the TV. Then, it happened: something that was simultaneously the best and worst thing in the world.
"Sam."
"What?"
I answered hurriedly, keeping my eyes glued to the TV.
"Come here for a second."
She was fucking teasing me. It wasn't funny, not one bit.
"Why? I'm busy."
"Doing what? Just come here. I need help with something."
I gathered my-Sam-puddle-self up off the bed and sauntered over to her, concentrating on my feet as I walked.
"Undo the clasp on my necklace. I can't get it."
My heart sank down to my feet. I grabbed the clasp between my fingers and tried to open it. My hands were shaking so bad, my fingers just didn't want to work with me right now. That's when I looked over her shoulder accidently. And it was definitely an accident, one that was just waiting to happen. She was standing in front of a full-length mirror. I saw the entirety of her body, every inch that was left uncovered that I wished so bad was mine; her silky smooth skin that I wanted to touch more than anything. It was then that I made eye contact with her. I thought I was going to drop dead. I quickly switched my attention back to the necklace, undoing the clasp in less than a second and handing the necklace to her.
"Thanks."
She smiled at me in the mirror. I smiled awkwardly back.
"No problem…"
I shuffled hurriedly back to the bed and fell onto it on my stomach, burying my face in her covers. She stayed by the mirror for another minute or so then came over and sat down on the bed next to me.
"So are you going to tell me who you're in love with?"
I uncovered my face, looking up at her questioningly.
"Why do you want to know?"
"I'm just curious."
"Well, you don't know them."
"Oh. Someone from work?"
"Somethin' like that."
Only if iCarly could be considered an old job of mine. I rolled off the bed and went over to my bag, grabbing my pajama pants and a t-shirt out of it.
"Be right back."
"Okay. Hurry, I'm tired."
"Sure thing, Cupcake."
I strolled into the bathroom and changed clothes quickly, not even taking the time to stop and think about what had just happened. Throwing my other clothes on top of my bag, I walked over to the bed. Carly was already curled up under the covers waiting for me.
"Was that fast enough?"
"Yep!"
I snickered.
"Good."
I climbed in bed beside her, lying on my back.
"Goodnight, Carls."
"Night, Sam. See you in the morning."
"Can't wait to eat."
"Ha ha, you're always ready for food."
"I'm starving right now, but I'm making myself wait until morning."
"I see. Ha Goodnight."
"Night."
Spaghetti tacos weren't the only food on my mind tonight, though. Carly either didn't seem to notice or didn't care that I was being uncomfortable around her while she was changing. I knew she wasn't stupid, so she had to have noticed. I guessed she just didn't care for some odd reason. She had been acting pretty weird the past couple days, though. Maybe I was the stupid one. Maybe I was the one that didn't notice that something was going on. What was going on, anyway? Any thought closely related to "Maybe she likes me too." was quickly dispersed from my mind. This wasn't a fucking fairytale, it was real life. Good things like that don't happen in real life; not to me, anyway. You'd have to be something real special to have all of your hopes and dreams come true like that. There had to be something else, and I wanted to know what it was.
As I followed Carly down the last section of stairs, I took a deep breath, inhaling every bit of the deliciousness of spaghetti and meatballs and taco shells. The smell was good enough to give me an orgasm in my mouth. Oh how I loved food.
"Good morning, sleepy heads."
"Morning, Spence. How're those tacos coming?"
"Good, almost ready."
"Spencer, did you make any coffee?"
"Oh, yes. It's ready."
He opened the shelf above him, pulled down two coffee cups, and sat them on the counter near us. Carly grabbed both of them and ambled over to the coffee pot. I took a seat at the bar across from where Spencer was laying out plates and utensils. She returned with two cupfuls of coffee, sitting one in front of me and then taking the seat next to me.
"Just how I like it?"
"Lots of creamer and sugar."
"Sweet. Thanks."
"Welcome."
"So, Spencer, how've things been?"
"Oh, pretty good. I've done quite a few sculptures this year. One was even put up in a local art show. I'm starting to get more widely known for my stuff."
"Nice. Which sculpture?"
"It was one with approximately five hundred little tins of Carmex held together with Gorilla glue then sprayed sporadically with indigo spray paint. I call it… 'Indigo Carmex'."
"Interesting."
"Very. So what's been up with you two?"
"Nothing much."
Carly took a sip of her coffee.
"Just working, mainly."
"Sounds exciting."
"Oh yes. Because working at The Groovy Smoothie and serving people blended fruit with ice cream is exciting."
"Try walking through the woods carrying all kinds of equipment and having an angry land owner shoot at you and tell you to get the hell off his land."
"That actually happened?"
"Yeah, once. It scared me to death."
"Food's ready."
"Awesome. I'll take three."
"Fatty."
"I've been hungry since last night, it's not my fault."
"Merry Christmas, by the way!"
Spencer pulled out two wrapped presents and sat them in front of us.
"Aw, you shouldn't have."
"Thanks, Spence."
I picked mine up and shook it; the box was slightly cold and kind of heavy. I tore it open to reveal a box that had "Logan Farms" imprinted in gold lettering on top. I knew instantly what it was: Ham.
"Spencer! Ham!"
He laughed.
"Thanks!"
"You're welcome, Sam."
"What'd you get, Carls?"
She shrugged, tearing off the wrapping paper piece by piece. Her box was smaller than mine and rectangular in shape.
"A…Barbie?"
"Yeah! You like it? It's a 1959 original! It cost me like $200!"
"Oh…yeah. It's great…I love it."
He sat there for a minute with a big, goofy smile on his face. I arched an eyebrow and glanced over at Carly. She was busying herself with reading the back of the Barbie box.
"A Barbie?"
"Yeah."
She waved it around in my face. Spencer burst out in laughter.
"I'm just kiddin', little sister. I got that at the dollar store. Here."
He pulled out yet another wrapped present and sat it down in front of her. She eyed it questioningly, denoting to herself that it probably was nothing close to what she thought it was going to be. She tore the paper off and gasped in disbelief.
"You got me the Cuttlefish live concert DVD!"
"Yeah, I thought you'd like that. Best thing about it, you and Sam are in it!"
"Oh my gosh, awesome. Thanks, Spencer!"
"You're welcome."
I looked down at my ham then over at her DVD and shrugged.
"Merry Christmas, guys."
"Merry Christmas!"
We sounded in unison again. The two of us seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
"Your presents are out in the car."
"I'll go get them."
I hopped off the bar stool and darted for the staircase to get the keys from Carly's room. Spencer caught me by the back of my shirt.
"Easy, Killer. Food's ready. Eat first, 'cause I know you want to."
I smirked and grabbed a plate.
"God, I love spaghetti tacos!"
Hope you enjoyed it! There's more where that came from!!
Also, I'd like to ask you guys, if you pray, pray for my family and I. Sunday morning, I lost my grandfather and I've pretty much been a big wreck ever since…if you don't pray, at least keep us in your thoughts. Thanks, guys. I appreciate it. I'll try and get a move on with chapter 5 whenever I have time.
