Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island
Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island
(A/N: Second up today.)
Skarr's Arrival
Skarr appeared on the island in less than a second. He looked around beaming, then replaced the mirror. "I'm back!" he exclaimed to the skies. With that, he raced towards the Bunny shaped rock laughing. He saw his pigeons looking up from the branches then cooing, flying towards him. He forced himself to stop, welcoming his little friends. Slowly he wandered on, saying, "Oh my baby's, did you miss daddy? Daddy missed you, yes he did." Seeing the courtyard coming up, he began to march, determined to appear dignified.
GAoBaM
Meanwhile… "Ghastly, I've finally come up with a fool proof plan!" Hector exclaimed.
Ghastly, gazing out the window with a bored expression, vaguely looked back, asking, "What is it this time chief?"
He replied, "It is a giant toaster! We shall attack the League of Nations with giant slices of toast and then take over!"
Ghastly sighed, replying, "Uh, great chief, one problem. Toast isn't lethal. If anything, we'll end up putting an end to world hunger."
Hector blinked. Boskov looked up at the brain on his head. All at once Hector made the bear kick away the machine, exclaiming, "Oh I give up! Why do I bother anymore? I've lost my knack for evil! I know I have!"
"No, chief, no," Ghastly quickly soothed. She added comfortingly, "You just lost your most evil minion and paramilitary General. Sure, he never came up with a world domination plot on his own, but he motivated you to prove him wrong. He thought you were an idiot. Without him, you haven't been able to focus. You'll adjust soon, though. Then you'll be back to your usual brilliant self."
Hector sighed, saying, "It's no use. It just isn't the same. I feel so incomplete. Without Skarr… It just doesn't feel right!" He looked down sadly. Boskov whimpered.
Ghastly turned back to the window and rested a chin in her palm. She couldn't argue that. He was right. Without Skarr, they were incomplete. He was like the missing piece of a puzzle, the lost fourth wheel. It just didn't seem right. She couldn't believe she was admitting this, but she missed him. She actually missed the cynical traitor. Finally, she was forced to admit to herself something she'd held back. She wished he were here right now. He would make everything better. In a way, that is. At least Hector would be normal again.
GAoBaM
All at once she caught sight of something. She instantly straightened up and blinked. She took off her goggles and rubbed them. Replacing them she looked again. Was she seeing things? It couldn't be. "Uh, chief," she said.
"What is it now Ghastly?" Hector questioned, coming up next to her.
"Do you see what I see?" she asked, pointing at the courtyard where they used to gather for inspection. Oh how well she remembered it.
She would be dropped at the top of the platform, by means of her invention, to wait for her fellow underling and her boss. The General would march out amongst the common soldiers, dignified as ever, commanding respect from his troops. The men would all salute him. He never looked more regal than he did on those days, and she would watch as he mounted the stairway to stand next to her. A nod or a word to greet each other, then they'd face the main door. Hector would come out to check if everything was in order. Under Skarr's command, they usually were.
On those days, it would be hard to remember that he was the most unlucky and inefficient sap she knew. With exception to the rare unbelievable feat he pulled off, that is. Those incident's always reminded her just why they kept him around. The guy could shoot like nothing, and he could definitely take a hit. His ruthlessness shamed even Hector's, and he fenced like he was born with a sword in his hand. His karate was pretty wicked too. She wondered how they had never missed him before, whenever he was left behind or separated from them, now that they'd been without him for so long.
Now, seeing the figure approaching, it was almost like watching him once more stride through the barracks, marching towards her and the platform to wait for Con Carne. Remembering their last encounter, she recalled that his house in that Endsville town was nice, and he'd seemed perfectly happy there, not inclined in the least to return. Why was he back then?
Hector squinted, then his eyes widened along with Boskov's. "It can't be…" he murmured.
"General Skarr," Stomach said in awe.
GAoBaM
Ghastly and Hector exchanged glances. All at once, Ghastly charged for the entrance, Boskov right behind. Her heart was pounding in anticipation. Their friend was back, and now Hector could go back to being the man she'd fallen in love with, all because Skarr decided to conveniently appear for no apparent reason! She loved him for it! Hector would be back! She could kiss the General, but then that would be counterproductive to her goal of winning Hector. Hector wasn't the jealous type, so it wouldn't work that way either.
She burst out the door and paused. He was marching towards them, followed by his pigeons, smiling a rare smile. On hearing them come out, however, he stopped, startled, and the birds flew off. There was silence as the group gazed at each other. All at once Ghastly screamed happily, "General Skarr!" She veritably leapt from the stairs and ran to him, throwing her arms around him.
"Major Ghastly?" he exclaimed in shock, confused at the action and automatically holding her back.
"General, it's really you! You came back!" she excitedly said.
"General Skarr, it's a miracle! You have saved me from total failure!" Hector exclaimed as Boskov made excited sounds and ran at Skarr.
"Boskov, no!" Skarr exclaimed in horror. Ghastly gasped and moved away right before the bear nearly crushed the General in a bear hug. She cringed. "Can't-breathe," he gasped out.
"Boskov, release him!" Hector ordered. Boskov instantly obeyed, and painfully Skarr picked himself up from the ground. Oh yes, now he remembered why he'd left this place. He hated that bear and that disembodied brain. As for Ghastly… Meh, it was a hate tolerate relationship.
"How long are you staying General?" Stomach questioned.
Skarr replied, annoyed, "As long as I need to. I'll tell you about it over dinner. I'm starved. I admit I've missed the mess hall. Oh, by the way, I'm cooking tonight!" He laughed and walked inside, the other two looking blankly after him. Cooking? Since when did he cook?
GAoBaM
They stared at the man in disbelief. Skarr was whistling and stirring batter around in a bowl. "Real corn makes cornbread special," he paused long enough to inform.
"Uh, right," Hector awkwardly agreed.
"Since when can you cook?" Ghastly asked.
"Since always," he answered. Taking out the spoons, he chimed, "Who wants to lick the spoons?" Boskov roared an agreement and ran for it, snatching one. Skarr blinked, then shrugged. Handing the other to Ghastly with a bow, he said, "Major Doctor, for you."
She took it, confused, saying, "Uh, thanks." She tasted it, and her eyes widened. "Hey, this is good!" she exclaimed.
"That's nothing. Wait until you taste my chicken cordon bleu," Skarr answered with a wink at the other two, checking the oven.
Soon enough, Skarr finished laying out the food and sat with them. "So Skarr, why did you come back?" Hector questioned.
Skarr answered, "I needed a vacation."
"Why?" Hector asked.
Skarr replied, "Remember my neighbours who foiled your plot?"
"Oh yes, the annoying children and skeleton man who foiled my plan by turning you on me," Hector grumbled. "What of them?"
"Yes, Billy, Mandy, and the Grim Reaper," Skarr growled.
"Wait, that was really the Grim Reaper!" Ghastly exclaimed, shocked, horrified, and awed all at once. The others looked blankly at her, and she shrugged sheepishly, saying, "I'm a scientist, I didn't buy it. Immortals? I mean, come on."
"Neither did I, but things change. Well, as I was saying, they finally pushed me over the edge. Billy and his father use my roses and shrubs as their own personal levorotary, Irwin uprooted my flower beds, and Mandy and Grim blew up my house," Skarr narrated, growing angrier with each word. Calming down, he added, "On another note, just wait until you hear what I've been through." With that, Skarr told them everything that had happened to him, from his retirement in Endsville to the Underfist incidents. He touched on the more recent events, but didn't go into great detail. Perhaps most was best left unsaid. It was a touchy affair.
GAoBaM
Hector and Ghastly stared at him in shock as he finished. He was satisfied with his narrative. They blinked as he sat reminiscing. Finally Hector asked, "So, you didn't keep the facial hair?"
Skarr blinked at him, then frowned, answering, "It was a faze. I must admit, though, I pulled it off quite well."
"So, you were nearly reaped by Death but managed to escape at the last minute thanks to your neighbours who you hate. Later you nearly get killed by evil candy creatures under an evil marshmallow bunny's control, then you go through a series of unfortunate events nearly resulting in your death multiple times?" Ghastly questioned, still shocked.
"Why not? I've cheated death enough times with you two. What was a couple more tries?" Skarr asked.
"So, you're only here for a vacation then," Hector remarked.
"I've said as much," Skarr replied, getting annoyed.
"Oh, well, good, I guess. We'd better start planning then," Hector finally said. He couldn't believe all he'd heard from General Skarr. The man was more talented than he'd given him credit for. He knew full well that Skarr had repeatedly tried to destroy him, and after hearing this, he determined that he was the luckiest son of a gun alive if he was able to avoid Skarr's attempts on his life. Then again, good luck versus bad luck usually ended in the former winning out. He just hoped Skarr wouldn't sink back into his old ways if he were only here for a vacation. By now, the General probably had more experience than either Ghastly or him.
"Not so fast, Hector. I have questions of my own," Skarr said.
"Shoot," Ghastly replied.
"Don't say that!" Stomach exclaimed. "He might just do it!" Skarr smirked at the thought, daydreaming of how he would overthrow Con Carne, just as he had in the good old days. Of course, he was retired now. Quickly he batted the thought away.
"How's Cod Commando and SPORK?" Skarr asked.
"Cod Commando is still after us, as always, but we haven't really come up with any plans worth SPORK's time, so we haven't seen him in a while," Ghastly admitted.
"What about Estroy and our other villain 'friends?'" Skarr questioned.
"Estroy is not my friend!" Hector shot. "He keeps stealing my plans!"
"Easy chief, he never uses them. They're not worth his time either," Ghastly said.
"Losing your touch, Con Carne?" Skarr taunted with a cruel smirk.
"No! I just, haven't been able to focus since you left," Hector admitted, embarrassed.
Skarr looked to Ghastly for clarification. Ghastly explained, "Remember how you always insulted him, always disdained him? Well, that just motivated him to prove you wrong by doing better. When you left, he lost that motivation."
"I'm flattered, I think," Skarr remarked, looking, of course condescendingly, at Hector.
"Never mind my motivation! The point is I'm finally feeling my genius return! Before the end of the week I'll have come up with something!" Hector stated.
GAoBaM
"Estroy's still after me to join him, and to marry him," Ghastly said disgustedly.
"Not surprising," Skarr remarked.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she bit.
He frowned, saying, "It's Estroy. You know as well as I that he won't give up unless something drastic is done. You're a very attractive woman, Doctor Ghastly. Anyone with an eye to see would understand that."
"He's right you know," Hector agreed.
"You think so chief? You think I'm attractive?" Ghastly questioned, blushing and grinning girlishly.
"Of course. Even Boskov can see that. I'm not blind, Doctor. That stone Idol could see it. Heck, even an ape could," Hector retorted. "Ooh, I just had a brain storm! Excuse me. I have to write this down! General Skarr, Major Doctor Ghastly, tomorrow, in the lab. Goodnight! Oh, and Skarr, your room is the same as always." With that Hector bolted from the mess hall, leaving behind an upset Doctor Ghastly and a taken aback Skarr.
Ghastly frowned after him coldly. Why couldn't he catch a single hint? He couldn't be that clueless. He was brilliant. Skarr smirked at her expression and rolled his eye, murmuring, "Easy Major Ghastly, beauty means nothing to an evil eye. I know that intimately." Oh how he knew. She frowned at him, but let it slide.
