Chapter 4 .

"So what did you do after you got your soul back?"

" For two years I drifted from place to place , Prague, Rome and back to England, finally in nineteen hundred , I went to China. There I ended up rejoining Darla, Dru and Spike. I had lived off rats and vermin to survive. I was a mess. My soul tortured me in my dreams and in my hours of consciousness. I thought that by being back in the fold , that somehow I could ignore it, the soul wouldn't plague me. I convinced Darla to take me back, give me another chance to prove I could be 'Angelus ' again.She believed it and took me back. Spike had bagged himself a slayer, which of course they were all pleased about. I killed and fed off criminals , murderers, rapists , I couldn't face killing innocents. I hid the fact from her until one night I tried to protect a missionaries family from her. Again I convinced her to give me a chance and she did. When I came back to the house after feeding on rats , she was waiting. That night she gave me the chance to prove myself to her. She had killed the missionary family and had kept their baby. She wanted me to feed off the baby. I couldn't , I took the baby and fled from her . That was the last I saw of her for years."

Angel paused for a moment. He shifted to get comfortable again. Allen changed the tape and settled back in his chair, no longer nervous of Angel.

" I wandered around Helping people occassionally , eating vermin, keeping myself to myself. I came to America and stayed in New York at first. It's easy to stay lost in a big city like this. I stayed until word got around that I was here . The great Angelus, scouring the alleys for vermin and helping people , I became a joke to those who knew me. So, I moved to a quiet town , out of the way in Iowa. The good thing about small towns is the lack of demon activity , the worst thing is everyone wants to know who you are and what you do. I avoided most people due to my nocturnal lifestyle. Boredom was the worst thing. I would walk miles at night, If I came across any demons I would kill it, If i came across someone in trouble I would help them. Unfortunately my stay there was cut short and I had to move again. I had only been there a few years when a neighbour caught me in my demon state , I had fought a gang of vampires and she came out just as the last one turned to dust. No reasoning or cover ups could stop her from screaming , and then calling the police."

"How do you ' dust' or kill a vampire?"

" Decapitation, stake through the heart, sunlight all kill a vampire."

"What about coffins, garlic , holy water , all that kind of stuff?"

"We do have an aversion to garlic, holy water burns us and in large quantities can kill us, sleeping in coffins , thats a myth ."

"How do you sire a vampire?"

"First you drain their blood 'til the heart rate slows down to the point of death and they feed from you. They rise as a vampire the night after."

"What's it like?"

"Being a vampire?" Angel looked up at Allen

"Yeah, must be a rush, being immortal and all"

Angel laughed, really laughed " You have no idea little man. I am bound to a demon to walk this earth til someone finally takes me out of it by killing me. I drink blood, kill for it , I watch anyone I care about die of old age while I continue to be young.Not just that but I live with the guilt, knowing everything I have done , everyone I have killed . Oh yeah it's a rush" Sarcasm dripped from his outburst.

"So from Iowa , where did you go to next?" His voice was shaky , scared that he had just angered Angel.

"I found myself living in Washington. I lived in an apartment next door to an artist. She would work odd hours and I found myself getting to know her quite well.I couldn't tell her about me , but she worked at night mostly and it suited me fine. She asked me to model for her once ." He laughed at the memory " She was the first person to treat me like a human being . I was grateful to her for that.I would spend time with her almost everyday, it was a friendship nothing more. She ended up becoming a well known artist and had a busy social life as well as a business she had to run. I rarely saw her. One night she came to me in tears, saying that someone was blackmailing her . I helped her , found out who it was . I dealt with them and she was grateful. We grew closer and I would stay with her until she fell asleep. One night we ... well we made love . I left her before morning and by the time she came home I had moved out. I regretted it but I felt guilty and well , I can't , couldn't have relationships."

"Where you in love with her?"

"No , I didn't think I could love . Even if I could, what I felt for her wasn't love.I just couldn't involve her in my life, so I left.From there I travelled from place to place , staying in hotels, only stopping somewhere for a few days. Finally I found myself back in New York"

" What year was this "

" Nineteen forty three"

"What happened then?"

" I stayed back in my apartment I read , brooded , slept all day, kept myself to myself. The war was going on and it was a time of hardship for most people."

"How did you survive, you didn't have a job or anything , how could you afford these apartments?"

" Money I had hoarded as Angelus"

"So you were wealthy"

"I suppose. One day some military men broke into the apartment.I was listening to the radio , reading the papers, I looked up to see them there with stakes in their hands and cruxifixs

The lead man said "You ever considered joinin' the war effort?times like these, we can use all the able-bodied men we can get.Everybody's gotta do his part. That's all I'm sayin'. Doenitz has been kickin' the holy hell out of us in the Atlantic. Allies are losin' up to 100 ships a month to his u-boats. Their damn submarines are faster, stronger, and more powerful than anything we've got in the water. Say what you will about the Krauts, them sons-of-bitches know how to build a boat. Up till now, we haven't had much luck figuring out what makes 'em tick, but 2 days ago our boys managed to capture what appears to be a T-class German-prototype submarine.Unfortunately, when they were bringin' it back here, something went wrong. Late last night, we received fragments of a distress call. Something was on that ship. Have you ever heard dying men screaming for their lives, Angel? That sub's stuck in hostile territory, but we need it if we're gonna win this war. It's down too deep to send divers. Pressure, cold'd kill a man... But... those aren't problems for you... are they? You've been on our radar for some time now, Angelus. I represent a relatively new agency, Demon Research Initiative? And we think that you might be the solution to our little problem.We need that sub, and we need you to deal with... what's on it. We had our intelligence investigate the submarine's cargo manifest. We think we know what attacked our boys."

"They threw a file at me , in that file was pictures and reports. Turns out they had collected bad ass vamps for experiments. They were going to try and make a vampire army, control them somehow. I did what they wanted, got on the sub, found Spike there, along with the prince of lies and Nostroyev. I dusted Nostroyev first, that guy had an ego , let me tell you. They had already slaughtered much of the crew and only a few men remained at the back of the ship.There was a German general on board as well . I managed to protect them from Spike and the prince of lies. We needed them to get the ship back to American waters.Spike was his usual self, pushing my temper to its limit. The prince of lies tried attacking the German,Then we came under fire from depth charges . The sub sprung a leak and I fixed that up. I was under stress and not exactly in my comfort zone.While I was sorting out the leaks , the German had attacked Lawson, the guy that knew how to work the sub, and had buried a screwdriver in his gut. He was going to die , I did the only thing I could do to save the mission and the rest of the crew."

" You turned him into a vampire?"

"Yes"

"What happened next?"

" He turned , he fixed the subs propulsion system , but we were short of air. He tried to feed , I stopped him and we did what we had to. We surfaced to take on air , I kicked him and Spike off and told them to swim for land before the sun rose , so they were no longer a threat .I got the sub to where they wanted it and I jumped ship before they could capture me. I never went back to the apartment in New York."