Tiny Toon Adventures:

"Rerun"

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: "Tiny Toon Adventures," Tiny Toon Adventures characters, names, and all related indicia are trademarks of Warner Bros. Inc.

Oh, Brother!:

"Did you have a nice day at school today, dears?" Mrs. Coyote got up from the couch to greet her boys.

[No.]

The hen roadrunner reached to give both Little Beeper and Calamity a hug, but the two boys turned to separate areas of the house. Beeper dropped his sign and headed to the bedroom. For once he wished that his after school delivery job was more than just on weekends.

"Calamity? how about . . .." Dad began, but the young coyote flashed a sign over his shoulder as he disappeared into the back room he used as a lab.

[Homework.]

Both parents looked sadly after their sons. The boys were taking this a lot harder than they thought they would. The tall silver-grey coyote slipped his arms around the orange and yellow roadrunner wondering how they could help with the transition and bring their new family together.

Calamity plopped the case holding the trap that caused so much trouble with Bugs onto the workbench and began tearing it down. He opened up his e-mail to retrieve his equation and soon was lost in his work. The young genius didn't even notice when his Dad entered the room some time later.

"Done yet? How about coming to watch the science channel? There's a program about alternate universes on in just a few minutes." Dad smiled. Watching the science channel together was something that he and his boy did a lot.

Calamity collapsed down his renovated invention and tucked it away where Little Beeper wouldn't find it. He then grabbed a collar and remote control device that he'd cobbled together and slipped them into his body pocket. The young coyote followed his Dad back into the living room and hopped onto the couch. Beeper just rolled his eyes. Mom had lured him out with taunts of the video game system. Well, as long as they didn't make him watch a physics lecture with his nemesis, he supposed he could tolerate being in the same room.

"The universe sits in a sea of parallel universes."

As Mom watched Little Beeper boot up 'Marsbound Exterminator,' Dad turned on the TV. The two adults exchanged glances then switched positions.

Zip! Zap!

Having the tall coyote come up behind him distracted Little Beeper. He missed his shot and his fighter craft took a heavy hit. The older coyote quietly pointed out several gaming strategies that, though he hated to admit it, the small red roadrunner found very useful.

"Imagine an entirely separate universe where you could be living a slightly different life at the same time as you live this life . . .."

Calamity stiffened as Mom came and sat down beside him. The golden roadrunner placed her arm around his shoulders; the soft orange feathers of her wing arm tickled slightly. The little grey coyote slouched further down into the couch cushions. He was imagining a separate universe . . . one without two particular roadrunners in it.

Zap! Zoom!

The little orange and red roadrunner found the hit and relocate tactic very useful in scoring on the game. Unfortunately, it also reminded him of the herding tactic that Calamity had used yesterday to try and maneuver him into his paint trap. Coyotes! You just had to wonder how their devious minds worked.

"We are experiencing an existential shock. Our world view has been shattered with the realization that . . .."

Normally, Calamity found leading physicist, Michio Kaku fascinating, but tonight with his stepmother sitting practically on top of him, he couldn't concentrate. The young genius was in shock all right. His Dad remarrying had certainly shattered his own world view.

Tolerating the orange and yellow hen roadrunner's presence as long as he could, Calamity used the commercial break to escape into the kitchen. Leaving Dad holding the game controller while showing the little roadster a tricky button – wrist movement combination, Little Beeper escaped into the kitchen as well. Being grounded and not allowed to go outside, Calamity and Beeper chased around the kitchen, 'playing tag' with short jerking movements and sudden course changes. But try as they might, neither could tag nor escape the other.

Around the table. Under the table Over the table. TIP over the table.

CRASH!

Through the table. And on and on and on . . ..

"Enough!" Both parents wondered just who they were punishing, . . . the boys, or themselves.

Calamity produced a screwdriver and crescent wrench from his body pocket and soon had the table knocked back into shape. The little coyote smiled an apology, then produced the band that he had worked on earlier. He presented the collar to his stepbrother.

[I made it in shop class.]

The young genius then explained how Little Beeper did have a voice. The little roadrunner said 'Beep, beep' all the time. This device would just let him use the voice he already had to form words and speak normally.

"Oh, that is so sweet! Beeper, try it on." Mom took the collar and slipped it around her son's neck before he could protest.

"No, Mom, don't! . . ." The voice that emitted from his throat was surprisingly pleasant. Little Beeper snapped his own beak shut with his feathered fingers. The red and orange roadrunner dashed to the bedroom to pry off the offending piece of technology. It might 'work as advertised,' but knowing Calamity, producing words wasn't all that the collar did. Calamity smiled innocently, then followed to go 'play' with his new stepbrother.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, the young genius pulled out the collar's remote control. He pressed the large black button. As the control box began to shake with power buildup, Little Beeper utilized the cartoon physics 'law of backfire' along with his own gadgetry knowhow and quickly swapped the collar to the little coyote. A huge electromagnet powered up and the collar was magnetized to clang against it, trapping the kid genius. Calamity dropped the remote control at the sudden movement. Beeper caught it and cranked up the power to its highest setting.

LUCKILY the power drain blew the transformer. The entire house, along with every other house on the block, went dark. Without power, the electromagnet ceased working and the frazzled coyote ripped off the collar . . . or perhaps not so luckily.

"BOYS!"

Calamity and Beeper's parents had never seen how the two chase around. They both knew that the two boys did, but since the kids never chased in their houses, they didn't know if this level of rivalry was normal or not. At least now it was time to go to the parent-teacher's conference at the Looniversity. Maybe the boys' instructors would know.

Normal?:

The gymnasium was set up open house style. Tables and chairs for the various professors were scattered about so that the students and their parents could wander to each station and visit with the instructors. Professors Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner purposefully set up their stations next to each other. The Looney Tune chase team felt it would be easier on everyone if they could deal with their protégés together.

Seeing the Coyote family enter, Bugs Bunny left his own station and meandered over. Most of the other students and their parents had already come and gone, so the tall grey rabbit wasn't busy at the moment. Since Little Beeper and Calamity had been attending Acme Looniversity for some time now, they all knew each other already, but this was the first time that the professors met Beeper's Mom as 'Mrs. Coyote.'

After greetings, Professor Road shuffled through the In-Box on his table. The blue roadrunner was surprised to find a neatly labeled student team project from Little Beeper and Calamity. Exchanging surprised looks with his co-star, he popped it in the player and started the video.

Their mentors weren't the only ones surprised. It didn't take long for Beeper and Calamity to figure out that neither of them had turned it in. In fact, the two of them hadn't been able to get along well enough to even work on it. It must have been their parents or someone who did it in an effort to manipulate them into accepting their new family situation.

As the adults settled into chairs to watch the presentation, Calamity made a swipe at Little Beeper, trying to catch him. The little speed demon sidestepped his pursuer and soon the two engaged in a full force chase.

[I'm the innocent prey here!]

Little Beeper signed a taunt to the little grey coyote as he ran. Calamity retorted back.

[ Innocent!?! ]

[So says the fowl that ran me down]

[with a semi-truck 4 times in a row!]

Watching the assignment video, Bugs Bunny was impressed. It seemed that his little chat earlier with Calamity Coyote was to good effect after all. The Looniversity principal was simply astounded at how skilled and cooperative Beeper and Calamity were in the presentation. On the viewing screen, 'Beeper and Calamity converged on the stage front, looking straight out at the audience while slowly backing away. They suddenly turned, and side by side, the two stepbrothers slipped into the shadowed recesses of backstage. The lone spotlight winked out and the curtain fell.'

The video presentation ended. Bugs stared at the monitor a moment longer, but was startled out of his reverie by a loud crash as several of the teachers' stations were wiped out by the duo. The grey bunny looked up at the chase, then back to the blank screen, then up to the chase again, noting the stark contrast between the presentation and the duo's current misbehavior. Not many people their age could so thoroughly portray two completely opposite dispositions. "Okay, . . . now I'm scared."

[It was only 3, don't exaggerate.]

Little Beeper continued their previous argument.

[3 times and one runoff the]

[ road totaling Dad's car! ]

If Calamity had tried that trick with the truck, it would have backfired on him . . . in multiple ways . . . and he'd probably have end up in juvenile detention hall for it!

During one romp through the gym Beeper actually chased Calamity, earning double-takes from the teachers. Sitting on Professor Sylvester's shoulder, Professor Tweety shook his little yellow head. Their table was one of the casualties of the chase. It wasn't Calamity's and Little Beeper's academics that were concerning. But recently, the comedic chase team was acting up in school as well. The small Looney canary looked over to his big black and white tomcat partner. "Those two are sure going to a lot of trouble . . . to get into trouble."

Mrs. Coyote cringed as the two youngsters chased through again. Confused about the video, the sunshine yellow and orange roadrunner and moonlit silver-grey coyote held each other's hands. The presentation was so sweet and brotherly. But now it seemed as if Calamity and Little Beeper detested each other. What were they going to do about their boys? "Is . . . is this normal?"

"Ss-strange choice of words-ss, madame," Professor Sylvester sprayed spittle as he spoke. "But yes-ss. That'ss a normal class-ss assignment."

Just then Calamity tore through hot on Little Beeper's tail. The small red and orange roadrunner toted a huge flamethrower that he fired over his shoulder behind him. While the young genius coyote wore thick rubber gloves and protective goggles and was holding a beaker with the bio-hazard symbol on it. Sparks and fizzles were foaming out of the top of it.

[Okay, that's NOT normal!]

Wile E. signed, resorting to his silent ways in shock even though Bugs was right there. The adults all rushed to stop the out-of-control kids.

One Minute 'Til Three:

Early the next morning, Buster and Babs hopped into Granny's computer animation class. The walls were still slightly pink from where Pete Puma, the Loo's janitor, had scrubbed down the room with tomato juice. Granny was there already, as was Calamity Coyote. The kid genius was setting up his Flashback Time Scene Change homework demonstration.

"Hey Cal, how's it going?" Buster came up close to watch, but was careful not to touch his classmate's invention. The young coyote turned briefly and flashed the blue bunny the thumbs-up sign. The small grey coyote pressed a button on the side of his contraption, expanding it out into an impressively large console with a potbellied base.

Standing to one side with Fifi as the rest of the class entered the room, Beeper recognized his stepbrother's invention as built from yesterday's troublesome trap. The little roadrunner was NOT amused. But after the very firm talking to . . . and yet more associated penalties . . . of last night from just about everyone, the two stepbrothers were doing their best to ignore each other. Still, it was intriguing. Seeing that Calamity was talking with the school class president, Little Beeper excused himself from the skunk-ette who'd been trying to keep his mind off of his stepbrother. The small roadrunner ducked around behind Calamity's machine and set about seeing what made the contraption tick.

"So, how's it work?" Buster wasn't so interested in the machine as he was in keeping peace in the classroom. As long as the genius was talking to him and involved with his experiments, he wasn't feuding with Little Beeper. The blue bunny's own mentor, Bugs Bunny had hinted that his coyote and roadrunner classmates might need a little extra help in keeping themselves out of further trouble.

[Magic.]

"Magic . . . ri-i-ight." Buster crossed his arms across his chest and raise an eyebrow at the little coyote.

Seeing Buster's skepticism, Calamity held out a thick volumed thesis on 'How It Works' by C. Coyote. 'Not proofread' was stamped across the cover; it was still in the experimental stage.

"Uh, right." The blue bunny briefly flipped through the volume, but if that was English, you sure couldn't prove it by him.

"Good enough for me." Babs proclaimed and dragged her boyfriend toward a seat in the front row. Calamity's inventions might be incomprehensible, but they were nearly always worth watching. "It's magic."

Seeing Monty smirking out the window, then asking to be excused for a bathroom break, however, prompted the blue bunny to look out the window himself. Buster's eyes popped wide open. Rank upon rank, a veritable battalion of shining silvery robots with circle saw and pickax attachments was marching against the Acme Looniversity walls! "Hey, guys!!! . . ."

At that moment Calamity's machine coughed to life. A time warp visual effect wavered out to engulf nearly a dozen of the Toonsters and for a brief moment it looked as if the reality of all toonality took a double exposure of everyone in the field of the effect.

"Hey, guys! . . ." Buster's words doubled, sounding with a slight resonance.

.

A/N #1 The science program was taken from "The Universe" series, episode "Parallel Universes."

A/N #2 The original line "Dat putty tat is sure going to a lot of trouble . . . to get into trouble!" is from the old Tweety and Sylvester cartoon "Ain't She Tweet."