God of Pain in My Ass

Tony never went back to sleep. He tossed and turned for a couple of hours before giving up and taking a cold shower. Once he was dressed again, in jeans and a Van Halen tee, he headed down to his lab to lose himself amongst his machines, greeting them with a cheeky, "Daddy's home," as he entered the large room and Jarvis brought the machines to life.

He wove his way around his work tables to sit at the semi-circle desk that held three of the main computer monitors. "Jarvis, pull up the feed from my room, starting at…uhhh…about two am." He picked up a ratchet sitting next to one of the keyboards—and where the hell did that come from?—and began toying with it, as the screen popped up showing the feed from his bedroom.

He twirled the tool between his fingers softly ordering Jarvis to forward through the video. He shot up straight when the screen flicked to squiggly lines and snow and had Jarvis rewind it. His eyes darted to the corner of the screen showing the time, and stared at it as he had Jarvis rewind and play it four more times.

"Jarvis. Is that a glitch? What happened in those two minutes?"

"It is possible, sir. I can't seem to find any problems."

"Loop it," Tony muttered as he sat back, his thumb between his teeth, studying the repeated feed. "Show me the feed from the hall at the same time."

On a second monitor, a screen popped up, a picture of the hallway and the doors to the bedrooms as it panned from one side to the other. Shown side by side, all Tony could see was that Loki never left his room.

"J, you're still keeping an eye on that room, right?"

"Not literally, but, yes, I am, sir."

Tony rolled his eyes at the A.I. Fucking smart ass. "Could you tell if he left the room at all?"

A short beat of silence passed. "No, sir, he did not. Heat and movement readings show he had been sleeping for quite some time when the malfunction in your feed occurred."

Tony let out a drawn-out sigh. Whatever it was, it must have been a freak accident. That he happened to be dreaming of a blue Loki…mere coincidence. "Fine, thanks, J. Let me know when he's up." Jarvis agreed and Tony got to his feet. Touching his fingers of both hands to the two computer screens, he closed his fingers, effectively crumpling up the screenshots and shot the holographic balls over his shoulders into a holographic trash can that Jarvis had waiting for him.

He went to work on the leg pieces of the suit today, losing himself for a couple of hours. He was concentrating unusually hard, dreading the moment Loki woke up. He chalked up the whole dream to their conversation earlier that night. That's it. There was absolutely no guilt he was feeling whatsoever for upsetting him—again. As for the arousal he woke up to... Well, it's not like that's never happened before.

When he finally got the alert that Loki was up and moving around, Tony still stayed in his lab. He went back and forth on what he should do. Stay in the lab all day and just keep watch on the god through Jarvis for the rest of the time he remained in the tower? Or suck it up and apologize because he actually, freakishly, enjoyed hanging around the crazy son of a bitch?

And he had a good idea about where to take him today.

Shutting everything down again, Tony headed up the elevator. He didn't ask for Loki's whereabouts, counting on a "chance" run-in instead. It worked. Loki was sitting at the small table in the kitchen sipping from a mug when Tony walked in. He lifted his eyes, looked at Tony for a few long seconds then dropped his gaze back to the table.

Making an annoyed face, Tony continued in to pour himself a cup of coffee and chose to lean against the counter the coffeemaker rested on as he drank it. He wondered idly how he should open the conversation, maybe start with a joke, or just start talking. Loki made the choice for him when he stood to leave.

"Oh—uh—wait."

Loki paused and glanced his way. He cocked a brow. "…Yes?"

"About last night…"

Loki's eyes lifted to the ceiling and he sighed shortly. "Drop it, Stark. I realize you cannot help your inquisitive nature any more than I can help my short temper. It's forgotten."

"Okay, well, let me make it up to you." Tony pushed off the counter setting his mug on the table and leaning on it. Loki lifted his chin. "Do you have any plans today?"

Loki frowned, eyeing Tony in a very distrusting way. "No… Why?"

Tony grinned. "Glamour yourself up. I'm taking you to the Bronx."


Loki was a bouncing ball of excitement. His lips were moving a mile a minute asking Tony question after question about the complexities of baseball, the basic rules, equipment, and geography of it. And he couldn't sit still, jumping to his feet every time the bat hit the ball—no matter which team it was.

Tony called up a friend and booked them a luxury suite at Yankee Stadium, thinking a little Midgardian sport would entertain Loki for a couple of hours. He had no idea the god would get so into it. Tony, not in an alternate form today, as it would defeat the purpose of booking the suite under his name, was already on his fourth martini. And they hadn't even reached the seventh inning stretch yet.

"What is it called again when they reach two of the white bags after hitting the ball?"

Tony pounded a fist to his forehead repeatedly. "A double, Loki. It's called a double."

Loki giggled—fucking giggled—and slapped a hand to Tony's leg. "Come now, Stark, watch the game with me. How can you not get excited by all of this? The crack of the bat as it hits the ball. The way it soars over them all, flying to an unknown destination. It is much more exciting than the brainless competitions that pass for sport on Asgard."

Tony dropped his chin to his chest and aimed a look at Loki's profile that read Are you fucking kidding me right now? "It's just a sport, man. A recreational pastime; not a philosophy class."

"Oh, I don't know." Loki popped another peanut in his mouth, his form's blue eyes dancing. "I imagine you could find a philosophical element to the game, as with any sort of discipline that needs to be honed."

Tony's lips parted to question Loki further about it, but his attention was turned away when the Red Sox player at bat shot a hit straight up center field and out of the park. Loki was on his feet again, clapping with the scattering of Boston fans in the crowd.

"Did you see that?!" he asked, twisting his head around to look at Tony so quickly that his blond curls bounced. Tony couldn't help but smile and clap along, too.

After the game finally ended, stretching a couple of innings into overtime, Tony suggested they go out for an early dinner. Loki gave him a weird smirk, agreed, and they headed off to Balthazar. Tony had a nice laugh at the way Loki's eyes bugged out at the menu. He took a good ten minutes before he finally decided on the Lobster Risotto and Tony ordered his usual Steak au Poivre.

As they waited, a sommelier came to their table to offer them drinks. Tony passed on the wine and ordered his usual whiskey.

"And…for you?" The sommelier turned toward Loki with a flirtatious grin.

Tony peeked up at the blond-haired man, stifling a snicker. Loki aimed an impatient look at him then sent a dazzling smile to the wine steward and ordered a house wine. The man lingered a little and finally left the table.

"Je-sus…" Tony muttered once they were alone. "How embarrassing for him."

Loki chuckled and shifted in his chair to cross his legs under the table, settling his cloth napkin over his lap. "Is that jealousy I detect, Stark?"

Tony let out a high-pitched 'ha!' "Jealous of what? A waiter not making eyes at me? Not really a big loss for me, sweetheart."

Loki's grin never wavered. "I was not inferring you were jealous of the attention coming to me and not you."

"Then what…?" Tony broke out in more laughter. "You think I was jealous because some random guy was hitting on you in front of me? Why? This ain't no date. Just two dudes having a meal together." The sommelier returned with their drinks, and another suggestive look for Loki, and Tony had to roll his eyes at the smug look on Loki's face.

Once their meals arrived, the conversation veered toward the food. Tony questioned Loki about what passed for a meal on Asgard and he noticed it was the first time in the entire time Loki had been with him that the god had fully relaxed and genuinely laughed and smiled. It was a shame, Tony thought, the circumstances in which they met. If Loki was a regular guy he'd met in a regular way—not threatening a crowd of Germans in a horned helmet—they may actually have been friends.

Tony poked his way through half of his meal, marveling at how the slim-figured man he was with practically inhaled his dinner, the rest of Tony's, and dessert. Apparently, the Asgardian metabolism was far more advanced than the one of the Midgardian. Tony stood, signaling to Loki that he was ready to leave, and flagged down a waiter. He tucked a twenty dollar bill into his jacket pocket and asked him to be a good boy and hail them a cab.

He turned back to call to Loki and caught the sommelier pushing a small piece of paper into the god's hand then touching a fingertip to his chin. He snickered out loud this time and started for the front entrance. When Loki finally caught up with him, Tony couldn't stop laughing.

"What is it you find so amusing?"

"You and your little boyfriend. Sure you don't want to bring him back to the tower for a little nightcap?" He winked at Loki's bland look at pushed open the door.

And was blinded. Flashes immediately went off, one right after another and another. Tony, used to this kind of bombardment, gave himself a second to let his eyes adjust to the flashing. His name was being shouted over and over, and he took one step before remembering Loki.

The group of paparazzi crowded him as he turned back and reached out for Loki's arm. Loki was shoved or pulled back and Tony's hand slid down his arm, catching around his fingers, and yanked hard. Loki stumbled forward, crashing into Tony as his arm went around him, and Tony aimed for the cab that was just pulling up to the curb. Voices kept shouting for him, and he ignored it, until one of those voices asked about the "mysterious lady" with him.

He'd gotten the cab door open and craned his neck, searching for the photographer who had asked the question, to ask his own. He had half the words out when his face was roughly grabbed and someone's mouth was on his. More flashes went off and he squeezed his eyes closed but his vision was already compromised. Before he could even get his brain working again, he was pulled into the cab and they were speeding away from the nosy cameras.


"What the fuck was that?!"

Loki's breath was coming in pants from all the excitement and his uncontrollable laughing, and instead of answering Tony, he told the driver where to take them. Tony shoved at him and he laughed even more. He held out a hand to him and tried to catch his breath. "Stop! I will tell you when we return to the tower."

"Tell me now!" Loki angled his head and pointed at the driver. Tony scoffed, and shaking his head, agreed to wait. Once back at the tower he turned to Loki in the elevator, arms crossed, face serious. "What the hell did you do?"

Loki chuckled again. "When you suggested dinner, I…took it upon myself to change forms."

"To a woman?"

He grinned and nodded. "A very attractive one, at that, as you could tell."

"Why couldn't I see you as a woman?"

"Because I didn't let you," he answered as if it were obvious. Tony huffed and asked why he would do that, as he stepped off into the lounge. As usual, he headed straight to the bar and Loki followed, settling himself on a bar stool and still sniggering softly. "Why do you think?"

Tony set two glasses and a bottle of Irish whiskey on the bar top and glared at Loki, only half irritated with the immortal. "Why?"

Loki smirked and gave a sweep of his hand. "God of mischief."

He rolled his eyes and pulled the cork from the tall green bottle of Jameson. "God of pain in my ass, more like," he muttered, filling each glass with an inch of the amber liquid. He pushed one of the glasses toward Loki and swallowed his down in one gulp, then added more.

"You don't seem all that upset about it," Loki quietly pointed out, tapping his fingers lightly against the glass.

"It was harmless," he responded with a careless shrug.

He lifted his glass to his lips, still tapping one long pale finger on the glass. When he spoke again, his voice echoed into the glass. "You also don't appear to be bothered by the fact that, despite my outer appearance, you have just shared a kiss with another man."

Tony paused mid-drink and swept his eyes up to Loki's. He swallowed and dipped his head, chuckling lightly. "This isn't my first rodeo, Loki." The god lowered his glass and cocked an inquisitive brow. Tony laughed again and put his glass down, as well. "I've been around the block a few times, okay? I'm comfortable enough with myself and my sexuality not to be threatened by someone of the same sex being attracted to me."

Loki rolled his eyes, with a smile.

"Besides…" he drank again and Loki's gaze returned to him. "I did my fair share of experimenting in college." He added a few more drops to his glass before pushing the cork back into the Jameson bottle and set it back on the shelf behind him. "So, next time, all you have to do is ask if you want to kiss me, Reindeer Games."

Loki, leaning a little on the bar, shot up straight, and Tony grinned at the very apparent surprised look on his face. "Are you not in a relationship with the redhead?"

Tony waved a hand and took another sip. "Technically, yes, but Pepper and I have a…I care about her—a lot—but she knows I'm not so great with commitment and monogamy." He motioned with his glass as he spoke and brought it back to his lips. "We have an understanding—of sorts," he added before tilting his head back.

"Is that a formal invitation?"

Tony choked on the whiskey when he laughed and had to turn around to the sink to spit out what he was too busy choking to swallow. He sucked in air and continued to laugh. "That's funny! Man…Fury would probably have me flogged in public. He'd probably even do it himself if that happened. Hell, he'd probably do it if he found out about this conversation."

Loki had a small smile playing around his lips as he finished off his drink and stood up from the stool.

"Ditching out on me already? What's the matter? Can't handle the big boy talk?"

Loki stopped and looked back at Tony over his shoulder, the small smile still curving his lips. "Quite the contrary, Stark. I was enjoying the conversation. However, it has been a long day, I've imbibed quite a bit of alcohol, and I need my rest." He started out of the room again but stopped once more after a few steps. "About that flogging…"

Tony's brows drew together. "Huh?"

"If it's something you're truly interested in, I could assist. Privately, of course."

Heat washed over Tony, had his fingers tightening around the glass in his hand. "Uh…"

"And just to make it clear…if the invitation is on the table, I would accept." Loki turned and sauntered out of the room, leaving Tony staring open-mouthed at his back.


Tony had trouble sleeping again that night. He tossed and turned in bed for almost two hours before rising and taking a quick, hot shower, hoping to relax his body enough so he could get a couple of hours in. But it didn't work. He crept out to the kitchen and brewed himself a cup of tea, taking it out to the balcony outside his bedroom, and listening to the sounds of the night as he sipped it down.

When he resorted to walking back and forth around the room, he had to tell himself that it was just his normal insomnia, his brain unwilling to shut off again. It had absolutely nothing to do with his want to barge into the bedroom down the hall and take Loki up on that offer; just to see what that tall drink of water could do with those long-fingered hands and fast-moving mouth.

Tony froze in the middle of his room and slapped a hand to his face. What the fuck, Tony?

When did this happen? When did he start seeing Loki in that way? He had told Loki the truth; Tony Stark was no stranger to the touch of another man. He just hadn't been touched by one in over twenty years. So why now? Why Loki?

He couldn't deny the god was attractive—but he was also bat-shit crazy. Tony wondered, as he lowered to the foot of his bed, if he had had thoughts like this about Loki before and just didn't recognize or acknowledge them. Wouldn't have been the first time he ignored his feelings toward someone else. How long had he been friends with Pepper before realizing there was more than just friendship there?

Shit. Pepper. Pepper could forgive a lot of things. But would she forgive him this?

Tony didn't get a chance to answer that. A soft knock at his door interrupted his thoughts and he called for Loki to come in—because, really, who else could it be? Tony stared as the sight in the doorway had desire coursing through him.

Loki had pushed the door open and remained in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb, wearing only a pair of loose-fitting black pants, barefoot and bare-chested, his hair loose and mussed from sleep, and framed by the light of the hallway.

"Do you think you'll be done pacing any time soon?" he asked facetiously, rubbing a fist over one eye before pushing his hair back from his face. "I would like to get some sleep eventually."

His breath growing shallower by the second, Tony got to his feet and moved to the doorway, his brown eyes locked on Loki's. Once he was close enough, Loki straightened and Tony tentatively reached out a hand, pressing his fingers into Loki's chest, testing like he had in his dream, before laying his full palm over his pectoral. His eyes were on his hand as it ran over Loki's chest and down his torso, turning upside down over his toned abs.

His hand moved down further and just as his fingers reached the band of Loki's pants, a pale hand flew out and snatched up his wrist. Tony's eyes flew up to Loki's and the god cocked his head to the side. Keeping his gaze on the green eyes scrutinizing him, Tony twisted his wrist and wrapped his fingers around Loki's forearm, tugging hard once and bringing their bodies closer together.

Loki's free hand flew up to Tony's chest to balance himself, his other trapped between them. Their breaths mixed and eyes moved from focusing on eyes and parted lips. Tony tilted up his chin, his lips barely touching Loki's.

"Would you have me tonight, Stark?" Loki's voice was low and husky. And positively vibrated through Tony's body.

He ran his other hand along Loki's ribcage and all the way up his side until he could curl his fingers into his soft, black hair. "You want me to?" he whispered against the god's lips.

"Ye—" he answered immediately and barely had the word out before Tony was crushing their mouths together.