Gluttony
Fourth in the Seven Deadly Sins Series
The belly has no ears.
- Plutarch
"Rhys?" Gwen opened the door of their flat with her key. "Rhys?"
But Rhys was nowhere to be found. Instead Gwen opened the door to hell. Every visible surface was covered with food. And Banana Boat was lying on the floor in the kitchen. There was a Chinese take-out carton not two inches from his nose.
Gwen opened her mouth in horror. What the hell had happened here? There was Chinese food on the counter, open and half eaten. Beer bottles littered available surfaces. The fridge was half open and Gwen quickly sidestepped Banana to close it. Their electricity bill was already too high.
Besides the take-out cartons, there were two pizza boxes sitting on the back of the settee. Gwen stood in the middle of the kitchen in shock before turning around and seeing more.
The stove had pots and pans on every inch. One had a gray mush inside, another the leftovers of some sort of green thing. The oven door was ajar, as if someone was attempting to get rid of the burnt smell that still lingered in the room. The charcoaled remains of whatever had been "baked" were in the sink, glued to the tray.
Gwen decided to leave the horror that was the kitchen and made her way into the bedroom, where she found her dear husband, lying lifeless on the bed. She sat on the edge beside him.
When he felt the bed shift, Rhys opened his eyes.
"Gwen, I'm dying." He reached a hand out to grasp hers. But she swatted it away.
"No you're not. You're just a bloody drunk fool."
Rhys closed his eyes and moaned. Gwen shook him harshly.
"Rhys, what the hell happened here?"
Rhys didn't reply, but groaned instead.
"Rhys, I'm serious. Why does the flat look as though a bomb was dropped in it? And why is Banana in my kitchen?"
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Well you had best believe you're cleaning the mess up tomorrow."
Rhys nodded, and then seconds later was snoring.
The next morning Gwen woke up to breakfast in bed. Rhys clearly realized his residence in the dog house, and was attempting to make up for everything. He cordially informed her, whilst she was eating her eggs, that the flat was spotless and Banana banished.
"Thank you. But Rhys, what the hell happened?"
He looked a bit sheepish as he responded. "I was trying to make supper for you. To surprise you. But then you called and said you'd be pretty late. And by that point I'd already burnt the chicken and the dumplings." (Thus the gray mess was explained.)
"So I ordered pizza. Figured Ianto had dinner sorted for you lot. But then Banana showed up with a shitload of Chinese and beer and we sort of…dared each other who could eat the most.
"You bloody, foolish idiot."
"That's 'bout right, yeah."
"You're a bloody pig, Rhys Williams." he nodded, looking so puppy-like it killed her. "But you're my bloody pig. C'mere."
And she gave him a very quick peck on the mouth. He still smelled like burnt chicken.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review and tell me what you thought.
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Disclaimer: Torchwood is the property of Russell T. Davies.
