I see y'all reading these stories, u don't have to be so quiet *squints eyes*

seriously tho it'd be nice if someone said something even if its irrelevant but whatever

here's the next chapter enjoy!

I apologized and asked Mimi to be my date to dinner, to my surprise she said yes. After Maureen's protest we went to the life cafe with the rest of the group as planned. Collins and Angel have gone "offical." Even though I was supposed to be with Mimi my mind was elsewhere. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy, they were perfect together, and even though it was my fault he made her happy in ways I couldn't. As we danced and partied, I warmed up to Mimi, I always kept an eye on Angel. Part of me was waiting for Collins to mess up or treat her bad so I could swoop in and take her away, knowing all too well I'll end up treating her like shit.

Back when we were together as I used and kind of abused her, emotionally, she never faltered. She always was kind and patient even when I didn't deserve it, no matter how much I tried to push her away she wouldn't go. She'd wait until I was ready to talk, she'd make me comfortable, smoke with me, pour me a drink, and let me kick and scream the whole time while not saying a word against me. She also would obey my every request: 'don't wear guy clothes around me,' 'don't hold my hand in public,' 'you can't meet my friends,' 'don't call me your boyfriend.' Anything I said went without questioning, which worked well because, hell sometimes I didn't have a reason for them.

Though she was amazing and always wanted to make sure everyone around her was happy, I never did the same. One night was really bad, while I was staying at her apartment I woke up in the middle of the night to find her sitting on the fire escape. She sat there, or well, should I say he sat there no makeup, no wig, just in his pajamas staring off into space.

"What the fuck?" I whispered getting up and throwing on a shirt.

I opened the window and was blasted with the cold it was late fall, not the time to be sitting outside at 3 AM in nothing but a wife beater and sweatpants.

"Angel, what are you doing out here, It's freezing," I asked annoyed.

There were tear marks on his face he had been crying, but still he said nothing. I sighed and rolled my eyes I just wanted him to come back to bed.

"Hey, I'm talking to you, why are you out here?" I still got no answer but he did look at me. "How long have you been out here?"

"I-I uh…." he started to talk but looked down at his feet and fell silent again.

"Fine, don't tell me," I shrugged and walked back in.

I climbed into bed shivering and burrowed under the covers, why was I such and asshole? After a few minute and some failed attempts at sleeping I looked out the window again, he was still out there. But, instead of just sitting there his face was buried in his hands and he was sobbing. I sighed again and got up going back to him. Despite how I treat him most of the time there is a reason I'm with him, I do care about him. I just have a fucked up way of showing it. I walked back out there with him. He stopped crying and looked up at me.

"Ang," I sighed trying to be patient with him. "What's wrong? Why are you out here?"

He looked at me with those huge brown doe eyes, lost as if I was supposed to know the answer.

A moment of silence passes between us before I try again, "Aren't you cold?" nothing again. "Have you been out here long?... God damnit Angel answer me!" I say too harshly.

He looked at me terrified his breathing labored as he began to sob again. I'm done trying to get him to talk this was going nowhere. But I can't leave him out here, he'll get sick.

"Come on, we're going to bed," I pull his arm trying to get him off the step but he won't budge. "You're not staying out here. Come on."

"Just go," he whispers softly.

"Did you just talk? It's a miracle, what did you say?"

"Just go," he said just as soft.

I pull his arm again, but damn he's strong for his size, "That's not an option and I'm not asking you I'm telling you. You're going inside whether you like it or not, so let's go."

His face turned sour and he looked away from me rubbing the back of his neck. He was not going to go voluntarily.

I bent down to his level "Hey you're not gonna sit out here and get hypothermia, okay."

He looked at me with pleading eyes he didn't want to go he wanted to be left alone, or at least with someone who understood with more patients. I rested a hand on his leg and with my free hand grabbed his. I lifted him up, throwing him over my shoulder, he did not like that. He began thrashing and screaming like a toddler throwing a tantrum. This was ridiculous, I carried him inside.

"YOU BASTARD!" he screamed. "PUT ME DOWN!"

I struggled to get through the window this was ridiculous, "You better shut up before the neighbors wake up and they call the cops."

"Put me fucking down!" He yelled. "Leave me alone! I'm not a child! I HATE YOU."

I threw him onto the bed I was beyond pissed at this point, "You're fucking right you're not a kid. But if you're going to act like one you're gonna get treated like one! Got it, BABY?"

I began walking out of the room when he called after me not mad but more scared, "W-wait, where are you going?"

"My place, have fun with your pity party."

I grabbed my shoes and leather jacket and walked out, he tried apologizing and begged me to stay but my mind was made up. I didn't care, I wanted sleep and he needed to get over whatever was bothering him. I walked out leaving him sobbing and calling my name trying to get me to come back.

But now I know better, I know not to treat someone like that, though my patients still needs some work. I look at Mimi making a vow in my mind to her that I'll never treat her like that. But I look out of the corner of my eye once more at Collins and Angel, she's barely looked my way once. All her attention is focused on Collins and all of his is on hers. It made me sick to my stomach. I wanted to pull her aside and talk to her. She seems so healthy now, she's gained weight, in a good way, I wonder if she's clean? I took a step closer but Collins turned and smiled at me. I can't interrupt them, they're happy.

After he smiled at me I panicked and turned to a guitar sitting on a stage near buy and pick it up. She hasn't told him about me… I'm sure of it he would have me pinned against a wall if he knew. I want her to be mine again, but…. I know she won't smile like that with me, and I know I wouldn't hold her and kiss her like that infront of my friends. I'd have to admire the amazing, fabulous, generous creature that was Angel from a distance. We'd never be able to be close or friends again, if we even friends to begin with. That's my own fault, so I'll just have to deal with it.

sorry im so bitter :3 I hope u guys have a good day

ps there's probably going to be a squeal to this it'll be from Angel's pov