In order to keep my promise from the wash room, I sent Mark home alone; got dressed up, just a little, and walked over to Joe'

In order to keep my promise from the wash room, I sent Mark home alone; got dressed up, just a little, and walked over to Joe's. Look, just because I said I wouldn't be there, doesn't mean she won't be. It's kind of become a 'thing'…I have a lot of those, 'things'…

Anyway; there are just certain times and places where we know we can find each other.

I walk through the doors and notice two things: a) she's alone; which is a good thing, because I have got to talk to her and… b) my heart drops into my stomach, my pulse accelerates like crazy, and my palms actually got sweaty. Seriously, I know it's medically possible but whose palms sweat?

I get to the table she's at over near the dart boards. No drink for me—this may be one of those scenarios where alcohol and the truth don't mix.

"Erica."

We just kind of look at each other; because in my head I have all the words I need to say, but my mouth just will not say them. She's still beautiful and caring, and driven—what exactly was my problem with Erica?

"Okay, I've been avoiding you, but when Addison was here, she said that…well she implied…" Why is this so difficult to say; seriously, and could I form just one complete thought here…"that we…that um…that you and I might be lesbians."

There I said it. And at first absolutely nothing happened; this has got to be the awkward silence, of all awkward silences.

Quick think of a way out of this…my mind screams…and then Erica laughed. It was short and erratic at first, but then I giggled and it became a regular old laugh-fest; just the two of us. And that became the two of us and drinks…well actually the two of us, drinks, and that pink elephant no one wants to mention.

-- -- --

The night had been a late one; Erica and I had come to a resolution of sorts…I think. We were in on a conspiracy any way. Since Sloan was attempting to turn over a new leaf, and become a good guy—we had a common enemy. Well there was always Yang, but Mark Sloan was just so much more fun to antagonize.

I'd been sitting at the lunch table when Mark came over and sat down; now if only Erica would make an appearance we could get this show on the road.

"Shove over Sloan, Torres and I are going to share a Sapphic salad."

"Did I miss something?" Mark asked as Erica sat down fairly close to me.

"Yeah…we're lovers, didn't you know?"

I mean seriously ever since Addison had been here the rumor mill had be overly active talking about Hahn and I, and occasionally Sloan; and as far as I know none of us had proved or denied a thing…this could get good.

"It's a love that dare not speak its name." Erica said, with a slight huskiness in her voice…which totally made Mark squirm. This was so fun!

"Um-hum…look me in the eye and tell me you're not thinking about a threesome."

I scooted a little closer to Erica.

"I'm not…the old Mark would, but that is no more." Mark couldn't meet our eyes; he's such a liar.

So I pushed just a little bit harder…"Really, you're not thinking about her…and me…and you…and a video camera?" Erica added her own drama by laying her head on my shoulder, as close to my breast as she could get, and nuzzled in. It was perfect! And Mark was just too uncomfortable; he put his apple in his mouth, picked up his tray, and just walked away. He looked like a stuffed pig.

Erica and I laughed…and when she drew her head off my shoulder something strange transpired…I felt the loss in my gut—kind of like being sucker punched. What was happening? One minute we're joking with Mark and the next I'm missing the closeness of Erica…No time to think—pagers go off everywhere; and that's the end of lunch.

-- -- --

I was confused…I'd propositioned Mark several times with hot sex in the on-call room and he kept turning me down; plus that feeling that I had at lunch, whatever it was, would not go away. So when I saw Mark walking down the hall I thought I'd give him one more chance…if not for sex, at least a chance to explain himself.

"Let me get this straight, if I wonder into an on-call room, you are not going to follow?"

"Do you ever wonder why you need sex all the time?" Mark's question disturbed me…my immediate response of 'hypocrite' was lost as he continued, "is it replacing something. or…"

"I use it to clear my head…" at least that's the story I keep telling myself.

"We can go in there and talk, but we are not having sex." He gestures towards the on call room, and then crosses his arms over his chest as if to say 'discussion over'; it was all just too much for me.

"Why?" I whined…"What are we gunna talk about?"

"At lunch you seemed to want to talk about threesomes…"

"You are so not a new man."

But Mark was far from done…

"I guess if you had to have a threesome Erica Hahn wouldn't be a bad choice, right? She brings that whole; we're naughty and getting sent to the principal's office thing to it…"

But that wasn't where my mind was; it was with a blond, and there was no Mark anywhere in sight…my heart began to race…

"Come on…you never thought about it…reaching across that OR table, and taking down the mask…ripping of that scrub cap, so you can get a fist full of that blonde hair…"

"Stop…Just stop talking about Erica Hahn!"

I was going to have to kill Mark Sloan, because instead of just sleeping with me, he had to talk about Erica Hahn—and gulp me. Really, what's his deal; we were teasing him at lunch, really hamming it up. I am so not in love with Erica Hahn…when did that thought come up? We were just talking about sex not love…

But the damage had been done; I couldn't think straight; and everywhere I looked I thought I saw her…and it was weirding me out…and winding me tighter and tighter.

Mark's words kept repeating over and over in my head: " pull down her mask" those lips so soft, and yet firm when she needs them to be…"ripping off that scrub cap to get a fist full of that blond hair"…it would be soft, and full, silky…it would feel so good trailing over my skin…Oh-god! Where is my head? I like having sex with penis! Come on Torres keep it together.

I glance nervously around and notice the clock on the wall says it's way later than I thought it was…just finish the charts and go home…alone!