THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL WHO HAVE FOLLOWED, FAVORITED, OR REVIEWED! On a side note this chapter was so awkward to write it's almost painful. It's probably painful to read too so sorry if you get second hand embarrassment.


Chapter 4

Merlin wished the feast never ended.

It wasn't that he particularly enjoyed the event, actually, it was pretty tedious, but it was that what came after terrified him more. He knew what society expected of him, but did Morgana expect that? Did Morgana want that? Merlin knew he should want that, but if he was being perfectly honest, he didn't.

While he was out someone had brought Morgana's stuff into his chambers. It made sense of course, they were married it was her room too. Still, it was an odd reminder of how in only hours Merlin's world changed.

Morgana was standing behind the screen, but she sounded like she was struggling. For a moment, Merlin wondered if she was crying until she finally spoke, "I'm sorry… Gwen usually helps me with my corset but she was exhausted and I sent her to bed already."

"Shh," Merlin told her grabbing the girl's shaking shoulders. "Let me help you." The Prince didn't know anything about dresses, but he easily saw that the problem was simply Morgana couldn't reach. Gently he untangled the laces until the dress fell to the floor revealing the thin slip underneath.

The couple stood in silence until, coughing anxiously, Merlin tossed Morgana her nightdress. "My Prince I don't understand," she whispered but quickly put the gown on.

"I'm just Merlin," the boy sighed sitting down on the bed and making room for her to do so as well. "Even my own servant just calls me Merlin, granted he probably shouldn't."

Morgana shook her head, and Merlin wondered if she was still seeing him as the evil sorcerer she was raised to believe he was. "I am your wife," Morgana finally stammered out sitting next to the boy. "And this is our wedding night."

Merlin had really, really hoped they wouldn't have to have this conversation. "This is also your first night in a strange country married to a man you just met. If that is something you want then of course, but I cannot imagine you do. If I was to force myself upon you, or even if you were to allow me, but you didn't truly want this then how would our marriage be based on anything more than rape?"

There. Merlin has said it. The word everyone had been dodging around and calling a 'wife's duty to her husband.' Merlin knew better than most about duty, and he knew that Morgana did as well. If there were any of her duties he could relieve her from then he would. "It isn't forever," Merlin clarified when the girl remained silent. "My father will not be around forever, and neither will I. Someday I will need an heir, and you shall be expected to provide that. We're only 17 Morgana, and while many far younger than us are married and with child we're by no means old. We have time and I would like to do this right. I want a child raised by two parents who love each other. I do not love you Morgana, how could I when I've known you but a few hours?"

The princess was silent for so long Merlin wondered if he'd upset her more by trying to spare her pain. "My father raised me to hate you," she finally whispered as if Merlin wasn't well aware of that. "Arthur does hate you just as he hates all magic but I… I have never known a sorcerer before you Merlin, and that means the only sorcerer I know has treated me with nothing but kindness. So I find then that I do not hate you for what you are."

Merlin let a smile tickle on his cheeks and he lay back on the bed. Warily Morgana rested beside him, and Merlin made it so she could lay her head on his chest. It was a small intimacy, far less than anyone would expect from the newly-weds. Far less than anyone would see acceptable for newly-weds, but for Merlin it was the best thing he could imagine. "I'm not technically a sorcerer," he whispered once the comfort of silence had faded. "Sorcerers are those who learn spells and potions so they can perform magic. They use the magic that lives in the earth and invoke the gods to perform the simplest of deeds. I'm a warlock-someone born with his or her own magic. For tricky things I have to use a spell but others…" Merlin's eyes flashed gold as all but one of the torches went out. The fire of the last one formed into a ball that hovered above the couple. "Warlocks are rare; I have only ever met one. My father has no magic of his own either besides the ancient magic of the dragonlords." It took Merlin a moment too long to realize he shouldn't have said that. Perhaps they were married Morgana was rightly still more loyal to Arthur, her father, and Camelot than Cymru.

"What's wrong?" she asked feeling the boy stiffen beneath her. "Have I done something wrong?"

Merlin shook his head, "No one is supposed to know my father is not a warlock but had to learn magic. It's one of the crown's deepest secrets. If anyone was to find out they'd see it as a weakness which…"

"Which would make the kingdom weak," Morgana sighed curling up tighter. "I am not your enemy Merlin, not anymore. I am your wife and I will keep all your secrets 'till my grave."

It was a profound confession considering they were still strangers, but Merlin felt she meant it. This marriage was based on a need to protect two kingdoms from war and destruction. That duty to protect one's people united the couple, perhaps not in the way a marriage based on love would, but in an equally strong way. "And I will protect anything you tell me as well, to my last breathe."

Morgana's laugh was soft, almost pained. "Don't make that promise Merlin Ambrosius. A king should never make a promise he can't keep."

"I am not a king," Merlin reminded her wrapping his arm around the girl. "And I do mean it."

"Now," Morgana whispered. "I truly believe you mean it now, but as you said you are not a king yet. Someday though you will be and you alone will be responsible for protecting this kingdom. You will always put Cymru over Camelot, as you rightly should, and when the time comes you will put Cymru over me." Merlin opened his mouth to protest but she stopped him. "Don't, it's true. I was not raised for the throne, but I understand duty as well as you do. I understand that the lives of your citizens, our citizens, must always come first despite our personal feelings. When the day comes where you put Cyrmu before me I will understand, but I do not look forward to it."

Merlin let the light flicker out thinking that he never wanted to see that day either.