Gabe's POV
Teddy needs to mind her own business. Yeah, I know she might have been helping me by giving me advice, but still, it's my relationship, and I need to deal with it myself. I don't need Teddy. I don't need PJ. I don't need Momma-Bear. I don't need Dad. I don't need anyone's help. And I meant what I said: I won't fall for anyone ever again. I never going to have a romantic relationship ever again. I will never love or care for anyone ever again. No one will make a fool out of Gabe Duncan. One no one will ever again. The front door opens, but I don't look to see who it is. I don't care who it is.
"I'm not in the mood for a lecture. Go away." I say.
"I'm not her to give you a lecture." Dad replies, sitting down on the bench next to me. "I just want to talk about how the whole thing between you, Teddy, and PJ went down."
"They were trying to tell me how to get over my breakup, but none of their advice helped."
"They both went through several heartbreaks."
"I know that, but I don't like how they keep telling me advice on how to handle it. I can handle it."
"Well, they both had breakups, PJ broke up with Skylar and Teddy broke up with Spencer. And remember, Spencer cheated on Teddy, almost like how Lauren sort of cheated on you."
"But it's not the same." I complained. "None of you guys get it. PJ and Skylar got back together and so did Teddy and Spencer. And don't say that it'll just take time and maybe I might get back with Lauren, because I won't. And don't say 'Oh Gabe, just give it time...' because time won't solve anything."
"Gabe, what I want to say is that maybe you should find another relationship."
"No."
"It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship, just find a friend who you can talk it out with. PJ and Teddy were trying to do that. Maybe you should let them."
"But dad, they don't get it. None of you guys do. Lauren was cheating on me, with one of my rivals. She knows I can't stand Austin, I've even told her that. I just don't get why she did it. She seemed so nice, but turns out she's actually a-" I stop right there when Dad gives me the 'don't say that' look. "What I'm trying to say is, Teddy and PJ don't know how to help me, they don't understand. They think they do, but they don't. And it drives me crazy that every single time I step into a room with Teddy, or PJ, or Mom, or anyone, they keep giving me lectures and advice on how to deal with it. But I am dealing with it, and yeah, sure, I'm upset, but I can handle it myself, and they need to understand that. It wasn't their relationship; it was mine."
"Okay, now I know what's going on."
"What?"
"You basically being treated like a baby."
"EXACTLY! Finally, someone gets that! They're treating my like I'm a two year old in time-out."
"'Now, don't run with scissors again Gabey, ya hear?'" Dad mimics mom's voice. I laugh, because he does it so badly, it sounds like mom trying to sound like him. He laughs too, his loud laugh. I stand up.
"Thanks Dad."
"For what?"
"Understanding, and being a great dad." At that point I walk down the front steps and down the sidewalk.
"JAKE! GABE'S HERE!" Jake's mom screams up the stairs. I few seconds later I hear Jake's heavy foot steps on the stairs. He arrives at the door.
"Hey Gabe, what's up?" he asks.
"I was thinking that we should do something." His mom leaves the doorway and goes into the kitchen.
"Ooh, what? Tell me tell me tell me!" he pleads. He looks like and is acting like a little girl.
"I'm thinking that we should do something-"I place my hands together, "mischievous." I say, moving my fingers together like the bad guys do in the movies.
"You had me at mischievous." he says happily.
"Now, we just need to pick up some supplies..."
"So, are you in?" I ask. Everyone looks from one another.
"I thought you were too old, but okay." Teddy says.
"I'll do it." PJ says, "But on one condition: I get to cook a mixtures if disgusting slop together for us to use."
"Okay." I reply.
"YES!" PJ cheers.
"I'm in." Dad answers.
"Me too." Mom assents.
"Me three." Charlie agrees.
"I go!" Toby says, standing up in front of me.
"Yes Toby," I say, picking him up. "You go too. So we're all in. Let's go get revenge on Gabe's mean ex-girlfriend."
"Okay, I think everything's in place." I whisper. I may have said that I done pranking people, that I was too old for that, but who am I kidding? It's in my blood. I'll never be done pranking. And the Dabney's are about to learn that.
I knew where Lauren kept the spare house key, so I unlocked the door and we all silently crept in. Teddy and Mom TPed the living room and put hairspray on the wooden floor. PJ made a mixture of pancake batter, eggs, collard greens, peanut butter, moldy cottage cheese, and raw chicken for the bucket attached to the kitchen door. Charlie and Toby were in charge of kitchen, and did a great job. Dad put flypaper on all the door nobs. Finally, I did the front door. When someone opens the door, a bottle of ketchup, rotten eggs, onion juice, liquid glue, and fish, (Lauren hates the smell of fish), will spray all over the person. That will be topped off when the bottle is done spraying, chicken feathers will fall on the victim. Taped to the front door is a picture of a skull, the same skull on the Gabe Duncan sweatshirt that I wore when I pranked, which became my 'trademark logo.' On this sign it says: 'Take that Dabneys!'
I check my watch. Three o'clock a.m.
"Now Charlie!" I say. She rings the door bells twice.
"I need all the residents of this home to come outside for an inspection, now." Dad calls, making his voice very deep and sounding like Deputy Dooley. Teddy and Mom taught him how to do a perfect impression. He picks up Charlie and they both run into our yard. They lock her gate behind them. We go inside our house and watch. Mrs. Dabney's room light turns on. Then Lauren's turns on. I hear noises of crashing, and I know it's working. Then a scream, Mrs. Dabney's scream. (I know that scream anywhere. I've been pranking her since is was able to crawl, and I memorized her scream, her voice, her house, her daily routine, and the combination lock to get into her garage.) She must have found the bucket of PJ's concoction. So far, so good. There are more noises. Finally, I see Lauren open the front door. (YES! I made that especially for her! I can't believe that the person who it was meant for got it.) Her face is priceless as she screams when the bottle starts squirting. Mrs. Dabney comes to the door as well, covered in PJ's crap. The chicken feathers fall on both of them. Lauren starts spitting out feathers. The prank even better than I had hoped. It was amazing. Mrs. Dabney looks at the door and grabs the note, crumpling the piece of paper. She looks up into the sky.
"GABRIEL DUNCAN!" She bellows into the (once) silent night.
