My fill for the 00Q New Year Party for badwolfbadwofll who asked for 'champagne, mistletoe, first kiss' and 'office secret santa that Bond rigs'. If you're interested in this fic exchange and would like to know more - it's all on tumblr ( .com)
As always this fic is also on AO3 under the same username.
Q didn't even look up from the balance sheet when he heard a knock on the door, he just shouted "Come in!" and presciently raised his hand to stop the in-comer from talking till he gave permission. Two minutes passed before he shifted his attention to whoever entered his office.
"R," he greeted his second in command. "What's the matter?"
She only smiled widely and put a piece of paper in front of the Quartermaster.
"And that would be-?" he asked reaching for it reluctantly.
"Office Secret Santa," R said in a-matter-of-fact tone. "You didn't go to the draw. So I did what my job description says and was present when you couldn't."
He could see she's struggling not to giggle and Q stifled a laugh of his own. He finally looked at the piece of paper and recognized a name of one of his technicians. Good. It was always easier to buy something for one of his geeks than for somebody from another Branch. The whole tradition was troublesome enough itself.
"Have you spied a little and discovered who drew my name?" Q asked conspiratorially. He knew it shouldn't be that hard to notice. If it was someone from Q-Branch he or she would probably pale conspicuously and start asking around if anyone wanted to switch.
"Yep," she answered, knowing right away what was on Q's mind. "Poor Gavin, he looked as if his Steam account was wiped out."
This time Q did laugh. Well, at least the gift may be something he would actually have a use of, not universal socks or sweets.
"Thanks, R, for all the intel. But now I need to get back to this. I despise the end-of-year paperwork," he sighed. "Next year I'm cancelling December."
ж
Q observed with growing interest as 007 pursued R, walking after her all around the Q-Branch, relentlessly asking her about something. As long as she was smiling and shooing the agent playfully, he decided not to intervene.
Still, it was intriguing.
Well, at that moment everything was more intriguing than the paperwork that was piling up on his desk. Also the Office Christmas Party was the day after tomorrow and he still didn't have time to buy the present for the Secret Santa. He was never fond of the tradition but it was easier to participate than to try to abolish the thing with all those people charmed by the idea.
Just when he was taking the last gulp of his tea, he saw Bond strolling out of the Branch visibly happy about something. Three of the technicians - Ann, Gavin and the new redhead one - looked quite shaken while R was querying them about something. The discussion didn't last long and ended in R sighing deeply.
Well, he wasn't going to ask around what it was all about. Even though he was consumed with curiosity. And a little bit of ridiculous irritation. Bond never simply visited the Branch… Well, he did, but it was always to test the patience of his Quartermaster when the agent was bored between missions. But this time he didn't even come by to greet Q.
Q huffed at himself and went back to work. He wasn't going to let Bond invade his thoughts (again).
ж
Q looked around his table. All those adult people, executives of MI-6, excited about the Office Secret Santa, opening their respective gifts with a joy of a five-year-old.
Oh, he needed a drink.
The muffled thunk in front of him actually startled him and made him look up from his empty glass. Something of uncertain shape was put in front of him and his second in command was grinning at him, visibly self-satisfied.
"You didn't come for your gift," she said, playing with the fair lock of her long hair. She looked really lovely when she didn't have them in a tight ponytail as required by the policy of their Branch. "So I thought I'd fetch it for you."
"There was a reason why I didn't go for it myself," he murmured in response, refusing to look at it.
"Come on, boss" said R, winking at him. "You know you want to open it."
Q stared at her without much conviction and finally turned to look at the thing. The gift with his initial on it was quite big and wrapped in a red paper plastered together without much skill. The bow didn't look too convincing as well. Q looked around once more. The rest of the guests were not paying much attention, all indulged in their own presents as well as quite intoxicated by this point. Q wondered if maybe he as well should have been less sober for this.
Finally, after a encouraging poke from R, he started to unpack the bundle. For it's defence it was nothing he would expect to get as a gift for Office Secret Santa. Ever. Also, he quite swiftly came to a conclusion that Gavin did actually manage to switch and extricated himself from buying a present for his boss.
"Scraps," he said out loud, as if voicing it would made it less ridiculous. R was staring at the contents with matching bewilderment.
There in front of him on the table, on the red wrapping paper, laid a mound of destroyed equipment.
Q extended a hand slowly, as if the "gift" was to disappear upon touching. He picked up an ear-piece – well, half of an ear-piece – that he recognized immediately.
He sighed loudly. Of course. Who else? He should have known from the first glance.
He took of his glasses and rubbed his eyes in exasperation. When he straightened up again a small laugh escaped his mouth.
"You know how cats sometimes bring carcass to their owners?" she said through a bright smile. "It's a sign of affection."
"Thank you, R, that will be all," he responded in a casual voice, like he usually did when dismissing her from his office. R giggled a little and left to join other Q-Branch guests who were opening another bottle of champagne by the nearby table.
For a while he browsed through his gift, recognizing the bits of tech he was sure never to see again. Why was the agent hoarding all this-?
Also, he was quite sure active agents didn't take part in Office Secret Santa given they may not be present for the occasion. He sighed again and stood up to make a beeline to the bar. He needed a drink.
While he waited for his orange juice with vodka, Q tried to be as least conspicuous as possible when looking around the room. He had to be here somewhere. Q was sure the red monstrosity of his gift was not there with the other presents when he was leaving the one he prepared for one of his technicians, so the agent had to join in the meanwhile.
It was after the first gulp of his drink, when he turned around and leaned on the bar with the glass in his hand, that he spotted 007 in the dark corner of the room sitting an armchair in the secluded sitting area no one else wanted to occupy.
"Good evening, Quartermaster," Bond said smiling his charming smile when Q got closer. Q rolled his eyes. "Why don't you take a seat?"
Q shrugged and sat down in the armchair facing the agent. He played with the drink in his glass for a moment.
"So you rigged the office gift exchange, huh?" Q asked casually. "I knew double-ohs were bored between mission, but, wow, I never thought that to such extent."
Bond grinned, just a little bit feral. "The aim was noble."
Q couldn't stop himself from smiling at that. He was almost irritated about how smug Bond looked because of that.
"You could have just returned that equipment to me when I asked for it," he said and then sighed, still smiling. "Or you couldn't."
"It brought your attention, didn't it?"
"You don't need to rig the Secret Santa and shower me with my own destroyed tech to get my attention, 007" Q replied. "Really, have you ever taken a good look at yourself?" he mumbled into his glass before taking a sip, but he knew the agent heard him.
If Q thought Bond looked smug before, now the agent definitely proved he can carry the definition of this word to another level.
"Look up," Bond said all of a sudden and Q complied out of reflex. He sharply raised his head to see a mistletoe dangling on a makeshift hanger perfectly above the armchair.
"Really, 007-" he said as he straightened his head back but suddenly Bond was there in front of him and Q's breath hitched. He didn't even hear the agent get closer. "-smooth as always," the Quartermaster finished while the bright blue eyes observed him slowly.
For a moment none of them moved and Bond's hesitation after all this foreplay was actually disturbing and not something Q wanted to contemplate at the moment.
"Oh for god's sake," Q exhaled and without warning he put his hands on the agent's neck and pulled him into a kiss. After that Bond didn't need any more incentive and took control of the kiss, nipping at Q's lips and licking his way into the other man's mouth. When they parted Q positively felt like he was melting.
"You should have started with this gift."
Bond barked a laugh, himself caught by surprise by how raw and genuine it sounded. Q really liked the sound and decided to taste it as it still reverberated on the agent's tongue.
Quartermaster never thought it would take this for him to start enjoying the idea of Secret Santa. But he was far from complaining.
