I have to say, I think this is definitely one of my best writes. I really hope all of you like it. Enjoy!
Tris
Over the next few days I recover from my bed. I get visitors from everyone except Peter. Tobias told me that he used the memory serum on himself.
I'll say I'm surprised, but at the same time it's nice to know that I won't have to deal with him.
When Caleb first came to visit me it was all emotions. I could see how guilty he felt that I'm here in this bed. In a whole lot of pain. I explain why I did it. I still love him. I couldn't let him die without him knowing that. The best I could do was do this one last task for him. Like Tobias said, sometimes we just have to do certain things to let people know we love them. I've forgiven Caleb for what he did. Now it's time to move on, and just rebuild our society and live our lives.
I haven't told any of them about the baby. I figure I'll wait till I'm farther along to tell them. For now, she'll be mine and Tobias's special secret. Not that I can complain.
Today they are finally releasing me. I'm sick of being in that bed. My muscles are so underused I feel like I've been run over. I'm also still in a fair amount of pain from my stitched up bullet wounds. Light medication is helping me with that though, so it could be worse. I can't use anything massive because I'm pregnant.
I'm a little skeptic about taking meds while pregnant anyway. They've assured me and Tobias they won't have any effect on her, but I remain skeptic. I know I'm already acting like a way too overprotective mother, but I can't help it. I love her, she's precious to me, and I want to protect her from anything that could potentially cause her harm. Even if it is supposed to benefit me.
I guess it's instinct for mother's to love their baby as much as I do when they find out. I can't say for sure though. Maybe I'm just desperate to love more. But I think it's instinct. Like my need to protect her. She is my precious miracle. Mine and Tobias's.
Tobias stands beside my bed as the doctors run some last minute scans on me. Blood pressure, heart rate, and various other attributes that they are supposed to monitor. Another nurse, who I assume specializes in the care of babies, has probes on my belly that are looking into my womb and are checking on the baby.
They said it was important they do because of the trauma I endured. Sometimes pregnancies are disturbed by trauma the mother faces. The fact makes me feel more protective of her.
They eventually finish up. They nod their approvals and exit the room, and I am free to go. Tobias helps me turn so that my feet are on the ground. Then with all the strength I can muster I push off with my arms and legs and stand. Pain rushes through me, and I immediately reach for Tobias. He catches me, and I grip his shirt as the pain passes. His hands help. While I'm waiting for the pain to pass he is rubbing my back and holding my to his chest. It makes it easier to deal with.
Finally it's bearable. I lift my head off his chest and look at that handsome face I fell in love with. He smiles sweetly at me, and assuming he knows I'm still hurting leans down and plants a kiss on my lips.
"Ready to walk a little?" He asks.
I nod enthusiastically. "As I'll ever be."
Without taking his hold off of me, he comes beside me. I guess he's just making sure he can catch me incase I fall. Turns out I needed it. With my first step the pain won over my weight and I fell over, but he caught me. "I got you." He reassures me. The next few steps are easier. By the time we get to the door the pain has completely surpassed, and Tobias releases some of his hold on me. He still stays close though in case I trip.
Our destination is Uriah's room. Today they are unplugging him. I'm not looking forward at all to seeing this.
All of our friends except Peter are in the room when we arrive. Tobias releases more of his hold on me. I understand why when Zeke is walking toward me. He hugs me as soon as he's within reach. When we release a moment later we don't need words. Were both feeling the same thing.
A woman who I don't recognize is walking up to us. "Tris," Zeke says. "This my mom. Hana."
"Oh." Just then I realize that I can see bits of Uriah and Zeke on her face. I don't know why I didn't recognize her. "I'm so sorry." I say. I carefully walk forward and extend my hand. She takes it with both of hers, and tries to give me a reassuring face even with the tears in her eyes. Then a doctor walks in.
"If any of you have anything to say now is the time to say it." He says.
I look back at Hana. With her nod she lets go of my hand and goes to her hand. I reach for Tobias.
One by one we all go up and say our goodbyes to him. Now it is my turn. Tobias helps me sit beside Uriah on the bed.
What can you say to someone when you know they can't hear you? What's the point really? I guess it's just so people don't go back and wish they had said that one thing.
I don't have anything to say but one thing. He'll never know, and I just want to tell him in order to get it off my chest.
I lean forward carefully until my lips are beside his ear. That way no one will hear me. "I think my baby would have loved you just as much as you would have loved her." I whisper. Now I've said it. If he can hear anything at all, at least he knows. I sit back up. "You take care, Uriah." With no help I push off the bed and go to stand beside Tobias. He loops his arm around my shoulders, and I loop mine around his waist.
I have no clue what the doctor is doing. I just keep my eye's on the heart monitor. Then the doctor removes the mouthpiece. A few moments later the the machine wails, and the heart line is flat.
Uriah's gone.
A tear that I didn't even realize had gathered in my eye falls, and I burry my face in Tobias's shirt. Hana cries too. And Zeke and Tobias let out a few sobs.
I can only imagine how Tobias feels. He's felt guilty for Uriah being here ever since he took place in Nita's bombing plot. I can't even process what he might be thinking.
I did blame him at first. When he didn't listen to me, and did what I knew from the get-go might happen. I don't think I ever told him I forgive him. I don't think he feels like I've forgiven him, he probably just thinks I've let it pass.
While I will miss Uriah terribly like everyone else I do forgive Tobias. Despite he didn't listen to me he was under influence of someone else. He didn't know it would come to this. I can't blame him for that. Not anymore. Not ever again.
I'm going to help fix our relationship, and make it stronger. With the baby coming into our lives I have no doubt we will definitely become closer.
We'll mend our mistakes together and help each other move past them. We'll work past our differences and make everything between us work. Of that I have no doubt.
We once lived in a world of division and uncertainty. Now the roles have reversed. We will make the world one of wholeness and confidence. This is the ultimate opportunity for me to have the life I truly wanted for myself. One where I can be truly free, and love this absolutely amazing man to my hearts content. Then hopefully, be the best mother possible to this little girl being brought into our world.
God Bless!
