Sadly (for me, not for him - hope he has a great time) my beta is on vacation
So I have to thank littledove tumblr for helping me out, I am really grateful *bowing deeply*
I own nothing
Ned rose from his seat in the solar and walked to the door. He had done his duty for today and it was time to speak with Sansa. He hadn't had a chance to speak with her detailed yesterday and this morning it had all been about her and her siblings and the horses. They were really noble and surely expensive gifts.
He was glad that she was back, it had felt wrong living in Winterfell without her. After all she was a child of the North. But more importantly for him was that she seemed to be happy, it lifted his heart to see her like this. He had felt so long the pain and guilt of giving her to the Lannister but it seemed it had played out surprisingly well.
While he was wandering the halls of his castle the memories of how it all had happened came back to him. It had been his lowest moment as a parent back then, more than two years ago.
It all had started with the letter from Robert. Ned's friend, no King, ordered him to marry Sansa, his very own daughter, to Tyrion Lannister, the new Lord of Casterly Rock. Jon Arryn had sent a raven too, assuring Ned it had been for the good of the realm. Everything had been ready he had just to deliver Sansa to Casterly Rock.
Ned had thought both, his friend and his mentor, had gone mad. His daughter married to a Lannister and it was all for the realm's sake? He had remembered how Jaime Lannister had sat on the Iron Throne, the mad King's blood on his white armour. He had remembered the sacked city, the doing of Tywin Lannister and even worse. Before his eyes he had seen the Targaryen children, covered in red cloaks. He had heard of Tyrion Lannister all the dark rumours about him. The Imp they had called him. And then Robert had ordered him to give his daughter, his little girl to this family.
It had pained him but Robert was his King and you don't choose which orders you follow. It had been his duty and he had obliged.
Cat had been furious when he had told her. First she had thought he would have experimented with a new kind of humour but then he had shown her the letters and she had gone pale.
'You can't give our baby to them! Not to him!' She had said, yelled at him, it had been the first time she had raised her voice towards him. Not even when he had brought Jon to her, she had never screamed.
But there had been no choice, honour and duty had demanded it.
The kids had known that something had been up, they had asked question but the answer never came.
He and Cat had delayed the revelation to Sansa for days. First they had to accept it. It had been hard, they had been arguing, praying, in a desperate attempt Cat had even suggested he should hide Sansa.
There was a pang in his heart when he had sent for her to reveal it to her. Cat and he had decided to speak with her alone, without the eyes of the others on them.
Sansa had been nervous when she had stepped in the room and Cat had asked her to sit down beside her on the couch. She had her arm around Sansa, a gesture that had made her even more uneasy.
Ned had needed time to gather enough strength to tell her that she would have to marry. First she had been enthusiastic. She had asked questions, if it would be a handsome knight or Lord. She had smiled wide had taken her mother's hands. It was great to see her so but it had made the following only more crushing.
When he had revealed her who it had been she had to marry, the infamous Imp of Casterly Rock, the ugliest man of the seven Kingdoms, she had gone silent. First she hadn't believed him, she had thought it had been a jest. But after Cat had assured her it had been the truth she had paled, like her mother.
First Sansa had protested, cried, but Ned had to explain her that there had been no choice. It had pained him so much to see her like this. She had ran out of the room, her hands covering her face and sobs escaping her.
'Robert's orders, Robert's orders' he had repeated to himself in his head over and over again.
He had wanted to follow her, maybe even calming her, explaining it to her but Cat had stopped him. In her opinion she should have composed herself before they spoke again.
Cat had been strange that day, she had left him alone to talk to the children. He had felt this would only got worse and it had had.
The next day he had gone to Sansa again, explaining it to her. But she had begged, even threatened him to join the Faith, rather than marrying the Imp. But this choice hadn't been hers. She was a Stark, a Lady and it had been her duty like it had been his to follow Robert's will. She had said she would hate him. She had locked herself in her room, hadn't even prayed in the Godswood, as if the North would be to blame.
And then there had been the ugly business with the squire. When he and Jory had caught them Sansa's face, her gaze had hurt him deeper than he had imagined possible. He hadn't taken the squires head, the boy was twelve, too young to die for foolishness.
But he hadn't lose track of Sansa since then.
The day to the departure had arrived quickly, he had extra organized a carriage for Sansa so she wouldn't have to ride. He also had gathered Lords from the North together with a great amount of men for an escort. If she had to be married to a Lannister than this man should at least see what she was.
Sansa had pleaded again, had tried to delay the whole affair but nothing had helped. Once again his heart had gotten a crack by guiding her in the carriage. Cat hadn't hugged him goodbye, all had been very silent, depressed.
Later in the carriage he had tried to explain it to Sansa again, how it had been her duty. She had promised to try, more he couldn't have asked for.
When they had arrived at Lannisport Ned had thought it would might work. Sansa had been fascinated by the city in the shadow of the Rock. The Lannister had also done it with style. Red and grey flags had flew over the city walls and everything had been bedizened.
A group of knights led by Ser Kevan Lord Tywin's younger brother had welcomed them at the city gates. Ned had known the man only briefly back then, but there had never been anything bad to say about him except that he had always followed his brother's orders.
He had offered him his hand and Ned had taken it. He had been very kind to Sansa too, had told her what a good man his nephew would be and had lifted her spirit.
When the knights had escorted them to the Lion's Mouth the great gate to Casterly Rock and when Sansa had seen all the people there to greet them Ned had hoped it would be good, she had even smiled a bit.
But then she had seen him.
Lord Tyrion, the deformed dwarf had awaited her in the front line. First he had looked like a child to Ned until he had come nearer. Ned had gone to him first. He had not been sure what to make out of him. On the journey they had stopped by some Lords of the Westerlands who had been delighted to host their future Lady. They all had told him Lord Tyrion would be like his father. The thought alone had frightened Ned.
But the little man in front of him had been different, he had kindly approached Sansa offering his hand and had complimented her exhaustively. But she hardly had been able to hold her tears. She had excused herself quickly, the aunt of Lord Tyrion an enormous woman had taken care of Sansa, washing away all protest of Ned's men.
Ned had been alone with the young Lord then. He had looked after Sansa and the Lord's face was pained. He had looked like Ned had felt.
'I am sorry for all that my Lord' He had said before letting Ned stand bewildered in the yard. He hadn't known what he had meant back then, now he understood. He had to follow the King's orders as Ned had to.
Sansa had hid herself in her room in Casterly Rock again, refusing all tries from her soon to be husband to talk to her. But she hadn't been alone at least. Lady Genna the aunt of Lord Tyrion and Ser Kevan's wife Lady Dorna had taken care of her. Ned had been glad, with her mother in the North Sansa had had no one else to turn to.
There hadn't been a long span until the wedding the King had commanded had happened. After only two days the castle had been ready, quicker than Ned had thought possible.
The Lannister had really outdone themselves. The castle had been covered in red silk and gold. The golden hall had been decorated with roses made out of gold leaf and red and grey flags with lion and direwolf had hung from the ceiling.
When he had walked Sansa over the thick red carpet to the hall Lannister knights in gold shining armours and bright red cloaks had had formed a guard of honour for her. Thousands of guests had arrived all to see his daughter.
All the pomp and decadence of the South had been gathered to this event. Ned and his Northerner had nearly looked shabby against all the fine cloth from the rich Westerlands.
Ned had suspected that it had been the fairy-tale wedding out of Sansa's dreams. It had looked certainly like it. But the groom hadn't been right, Lord Tyrion hadn't been the handsome knight and her face had showed that clearly.
When he had stepped in the hall with Sansa at his side it had looked very ought. On the on side his men in grey and brown and on the other the Westermen in red and gold. North and south.
Sansa had looked beautiful in her blue gown. It had been modest but perfect, but Ned had hoped she wouldn't feel inferior to the Lannister women in their lavishly gowns.
She had looked like her mother.
While he had walked her down to the Septon, tears had formed in her eyes. It had pained Ned, she hadn't been supposed to cry at her wedding, not like this. Before they had stepped to close she had tried to plea again.
But duty was duty.
The groom had worn red and gold at this day. Tyrion Lannister had stood like a King but unfortunately with the wrong height. He had waited patiently for them. Sansa had dug her fingers in Ned's arm, she had been afraid but step for step they had come closer.
Lord Tyrion had greeted her with a kind smile offering his hand to her. Sansa had pressed at her father's hand. Ned had released her and had taken a step back.
It had been one of the hardest deeds he had ever done. The father in his had told him to grab Sansa and run away, leaving all behind, but Robert was King and this had been his orders.
Duty demanded it.
Sansa had wept through the entire ceremony, Lord Tyrion had overseen it without a comment. He had looked up at her helpful, but it hadn't mattered for her.
When it had been Ned's part to take the grey maiden cloak from her shoulders, like he had put the grey cloak on Sansa's mother so many years ago she had sobbed loud. She had gripped his hand when he took the cloak his hands resting on her shoulders, had dug her finger in his and turned her head to look at him, her puffy eyes showing a last plea to stop it all.
Her look back then haunted him from then on. Not only the words 'promise me Ned' were present in his nightmares anymore but Sansa's face back then too. It had nearly broken him, and he hadn't done anything.
Lord Tyrion had gotten the red Lannister cloak from his uncle and started to gaze unsecure up to Sansa before he had tugged at her gown. He had wanted her to kneel so he would be able to put it on.
Sansa had looked back to him, her father, an unspoken question in her eyes. Ned had nodded assuring and she had knelt down so her husband could lie the cloak around her shoulders.
Ned had witnessed it and a knot had formed in his guts. Duty he had reminded him ceaselessly, duty. Sansa had been married, Robert's orders had been fulfilled.
The feast had been as decadent as the ceremony, the wine had been too sweet, the courses too elaborate. Ned had felt uncomfortable, all together with the pain in his heart. His Northerner had seemed not less uncomfortable with the Westermen.
Lord Tyrion had danced with Sansa, or had at least tried to. It had looked ungracious and rediciulous. But nobody had laughed, his men out of respect and the Westermen … he still wasn't sure out of respect or fear.
They had only danced once, maybe for the better. Ned had been next to dance with Sansa. He hadn't been much of an improvement though. Sansa had looked sad, resigning. After him the knights of the Westerlands had wanted to dance with her one after one. 'Only four month ago it would have been the best day of her life. All this handsome knights nearly fighting to dance with her' Ned had thought to himself while he had observed Sansa, she had never smiled once.
There hadn't been a bedding announced. Later Ned had come to know Lord Tyrion had forbid it. A small mercy for Sansa at this day, or perhaps his try to take control back. It hadn't mattered.
Late in the feast it had still been time, no matter what. Carefully but uncertain the young Lannister had taken Sansa by her hand and had left the hall with her. She had given her father a last pleading glance to save her, if he had could he had for sure.
Ned hadn't been able to sleep that night he had turned around in the way to soft feather bed without rest. He had wanted to jump up, grabbing ice and getting his little girl back. He had remembered her birth, her first steps and how proud she looked when she had shown him her first needlework.
But she had been married, she had become a woman. 'How bad it must be for her, not even her mother is her' He had thought.
Ned had prayed to the old gods this night so they shall protect Sansa.
He had been surprised the next morning when she had joined him for breakfast. He had intended to eat alone, in his foul mood but Sansa had shown up and had sat beside him. She had looked less sad, she had even smiled briefly at him.
She had appeared calmer. He hadn't dared to ask about the night and had been even more surprised when she had told him willingly. The marriage had stand unconsumed, Sansa had told him that her husband had said they would wait until she felt ready. Lord Tyrion had promised not to touch her or initiate anything as long as she wore a nightgown. Ned had been stunned, back then he had finally gotten a picture who this man was, a decent man.
Robert's orders had been followed and Sansa had seemed to considering her faith less dark.
Ned had sought out Lord Tyrion and had shaken his hand, before he had thanked him. Ned had seen some light for Sansa then.
He had had to leave all too soon, letting Sansa in the care of the Lannisters. He had left her hundred men as household guard but she had sent them back a year ago.
The letters that had followed had been encouraging and she seemed happy now. Or at least she acted happy.
But since she was back in Winterfell, Cat had started to take offence at some of her new behaviour.
She had told him yesterday night after the feast that she was worried about Sansa, about how she had bossed the servants around and that she might be too lavish, corrupted. Cat suspected she had gotten spoiled.
Ned had to admit that the gown and the stones she had worn yesterday were expensive enough to feed a small village to the winter. Jory had also told him that the people, this trek brown carts, who had followed the Lannisters to the castle were jeweller, dressmaker and merchants of all kind. Apparently Lord Tyrion was always in need of expensive gifts for Sansa, all the time.
Ned intended to ask her about this. And he had something else to say to her, something that had bothered him for too long.
He found Sansa in the Godswood, praying in front of the heart tree. He was glad to see she had conciliated with the old gods and the North. Ned waited patiently for her to finish, it took long. She had been gone for two years and in the south were no weirwood trees so she most likely had to catch up.
When Sansa had finished she glanced over her shoulder and smiled at him. It was good to see her smile. Ned walked over to her and seated himself besides her in the grass. And then she leaned against him, like she had done as a little child when he had told her stories about the old gods.
"How are you?" He asked her while laying his arm around her.
"It is good to be back here." She said low, Ned looked down and saw that her eyes were closed, she looked so peaceful.
"And how are things with your husband?" He asked carefully, while Sansa huddled up against his shoulder
"He is good man. I trust him." She said. Ned felt warm spread in him, if was a big relief to hear these words come out of her mouth.
"And he treat you well?"
"Of course he does." Sansa let a laugh escape her throat as if the question would be preposterous. "He does everything to make me happy."
"And you are?" By the question Sansa looked up to him, she mustered him a while and smiled.
"Yes I am." She exhaled before leaning against him again. "I know I wasn't very eager to marry him but now it's different." 'eager' was a clear understatement but good.
"And his family? How do they treat you?"
"I am one of them. I am their Lady." She answered dreamy. "I feel weal."
"But don't forget you are a Stark as well." He reminded her, rubbing her shoulder.
"I know, and I won't forget that. There is always a direwolf flag on the Rock to remind people of that." Ned looked down surprised, he had never considered to flag a Tully flag on Winterfell. "And Cersei always calls me fondly: 'little wolf'." Now Ned had to chuckle.
"I heard you met my old friend Robert in King's Landing, how is he?" Ned asked, remembering his friend and King.
"He is a drunkard." Sansa stated, not without disgust in her voice. "I only saw him briefly, he just greeted me and nothing further. He never looked me in the eyes."
"And Jon Arryn?" Ned asked, embarrassed for his old friend, he of course had heard of his drinking but he had never thought he would treat his daughter like this. Not after…
"I like him, but he is old and a bit slow." Sansa told him. "And then there was aunt Lysa she just gazed disapproving at me after I had an encounter with Lord Baelish."
"Baelish?" Ned asked curious, he of course knew who Petyr Baelish was but nothing more.
"Yes he starred at me and I didn't like it, but I made him stop."
"How?" He asked, not liking that the man starred at his married daughter.
"Something the Queen taught me." Sansa answered cryptic but didn't elaborate it further.
"Listen" Ned started after a moment of silence. While he enjoyed the peace he had with his daughter. "I want to ask you something."
"What is it?" Sansa gazed up at him.
"Your mother is worried about you." He tried to find the right words. "She fears you might get pampered too much by your husband. That you perhaps be 'corrupted' by all the wealth" Ned felt uncomfortable by every word and saw how Sansa's face was puzzled.
"He likes to make me happy." She said, looking over the Godswood to the castle. "Is there something wrong with that?"
"No" Ned said clearly, he had the sudden notion that his question had been stupid. "There is nothing wrong with that."
Ned readjusted his position and uses the new moment of silence while Sansa's gaze wandered over the Godswood again to prepare himself for something he had delayed for too long.
"I am sorry." He stated and nearly chocked at his own words. They sounded so unreal. "If I would have been able I hadn't marry you to him. I know it doesn't matter any longer but." He took a deep breath. "You didn't want to marry him because he is what he is and..."
"It wasn't just that." Sansa interrupted him with her protest and let him puzzled this time. She hadn't changed her position but she sounded different. "I wasn't just bothered by what he is, a dwarf, that he isn't handsome. I was, yes, but it wasn't the only reason, not even the main."
"Sansa…"
"I was afraid. The people told stories about the vicious, drunken whoremonger of Casterly Rock. I had to leave my home to spend my life with a man I didn't know, you didn't know. All this rumours about him had frighten me. It sounded like a nightmare for me and nobody would be there for me. I thought I would be alone in Casterly Rock. All my dreams were suddenly shattered, I felt betrayed."
"Sansa I never…"
"I know, now. But back then." She sighed loudly. "I was to send away to a man with a reputation so bad that it could serve as a horror story. I felt helpless. And I thought you all had failed me." Ned felt bad by her words, he had failed her. He wanted to say something but he let her continue because there had been no words he could have said. "While we were traveling through the Westerlands I had calmed because all the Lords had been so nice. I started to think that all stories about him would be false. But then I saw him, the dwarf, and suddenly all stories about him had sounded so real again. I was afraid, of him, of the future, I just wanted to hide."
Ned tightened his arm around her, she sounded so fragile. She must have had so much worries back then he had never realized. Questions like: 'Will he hit me? Will he mistreat me? Will he have his whores? What if he really eats babies?' It had never crossed his mind that there had been more than just the indignation to marry a dwarf. Ned felt really stupid. His daughter had been afraid he would send her in a hell of a marriage with a possible abusive husband and he hadn't seen it.
"How did it change?" He asked her, schooling himself for his stupidity. What a father was he? Following his honour, blind for more than the obvious reasons.
"I am not sure, it just happened." She said with a small smile reappearing on her face. "After he delayed our first night together I started to rethink my beliefs again. I let him a chance and gave him a token of trust. He didn't disappoint me." Ned saw a small tear, only a single one in her eye and used his finger to remove it. "First we just talked. Or better he asked questions and I answered. He presented me everything I could have wished for. He told me stories. Slowly he has proven himself worthy of my trust and then it just happened. I can't say when it happened but I lost all fear of him or of the future. I started to know that he would care for me, always protect me and that he would never be something other than good to me. I became happy, so did he. After I started to trust him. We have built what you see today, brick by brick."
"That reminds me a bit of me and your mother."
"Really? Sansa asked surprised, gazing up.
"Oh yes. At the start I was just a stern and scary Northerner for her but look at us now."
"Yes, I see what you mean. You are right." She sounded hopeful, Ned liked it.
Ned stayed with Sansa and let her tell from her life at the Rock. She told him of the people, who apparently loved her, of the feast and knights and wonders from the across the Sea which reached Lannisport.
Ned liked to listen to her, how enthusiastic she told him. It made him feel better. He hadn't sent her into one of the seven hells when he had followed Robert's orders. But there was still a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. Even if all had played out well he hadn't known back then. Sansa could be married to a second Tywin Lannister right now and he would be the one to blame.
He looked at the heart tree and silently thanked the gods for protecting his daughter from such a faith.
Their time was interrupted by Rodrik Cassel who approached them.
"My Lord, my Lady." He greeted them. Only reluctant Ned rose and approached him. Sansa stayed in the grass, observing him.
"What is it?"
"We caught a deserter from the Nightwatch." By the words Ned knew what to do, duty, was his duty.
"Make the horses ready." Rodrik wanted to turn when Ned added. "Rickon will join us."
And now it begins ... (sort of)
I never wrote Ned before, so I am not sure about this chapter
But I have to say I am very fond of it, maybe my favourite Stark family chapter I written so far
Review, please!
