Title: Narcolepsy
Chapter:
4/?
Series: Supernatural
Author: Alex Graves/frayed1989
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Ruby implied.
Rating:
PG13 for this chapter
Warnings: Spoilers for 4.16, angst, violence, and slash.
Disclaimer:
I do not own Supernatural. It belongs to its creators and the network that runs it. No copywrite infringement intended.
A/N:
Right-o! Fourth chapter. Again, hard times. Some writers block and then college got in the way and well, it took a damn long time. Anyways, here it is for your enjoyment which I hope you do- enjoy it, that is!

Summary: The Winchesters visit a town that seems to suffer the nightmares of a narcoleptic. Can the boys save them or will it be the last straw for Dean

Chapter Four:
But I, I can feel this narcolepsy slide. . .
into another nightmare.

Castiel didn't know how long the brothers stood like that, wrapped up in each other, clinging to the other as if they thought the other would disappear if they didn't hold on tight enough. Didn't know how long he stood there watching, an ache beginning to form in his chest. Didn't know when the ache came or why it made him want to cry even more, not really understanding why his vessel was crying in the first place. A part of him thought it only lasted a second and an hour for Castiel sometimes did indeed feel like a second to him after being alive for as long as he had been. And another part of him felt that it went on forever, that it could go on forever, Dean and Sam holding onto each other, Sam finally being the support that Dean needed and Dean finally, truly, beginning to heal. And Castiel thought that the ache in his chest would consume him

But everything must come to an end and finally the boys slowly pulled away from each other, sniffling, giving each other hard thumps on the back as they backed away, pushing their hands into their pockets. They stared at each other red eyed as they cracked wide grins before they began laughing. Castiel still looked on, observing the two as they laughed and reached for each other again, needing support for something else, for pure joy and love. Dean's green eyes crinkled into crows feet as Sam bit his lip, trying to hold in his laughter and Castiel wondered yet again how humans could go through so many ranges of emotions in so short a period of time. He wondered why he never offered this sort of support to his brother; wondered why it never occurred to him until now; wondered if perhaps he had maybe Uriel wouldn't have turned, wondered if he'd still be alive and the ache in his chest grew even more.

"Cas!" Dean's voice jostled him out of his morose thoughts and the angel once again focused his attention on him. "Dude, you're still here?" Before Castiel had a chance to reply, Dean had crossed the distance between them, his eyes narrowing as he took in the angel's red eyes and damp cheeks. "Have you been crying?" he asked surprised as soon Castiel found both of the Winchesters up close and personal.

"I- I believe so," Castiel replied softly, his brows pulled together in frustration as he tried to understand why he had been crying in the first place.

"You're a sympathetic crier!" Sam exclaimed, bright smile plastered on his face and Castiel thought it looked strange when he aimed that smile at anyone else besides Dean.

"What is a sympathetic crier?" Castiel asked Dean as he shied away from Sam and his bright child-like smile. Dean laughed and thumped Castiel hard on the back like he had done to Sam only a short few moments before.

"Means you cry when you see other people cry," Dean grinned and again Castiel could feel the ache.

"I do not understand," Castiel stated as he moved away from Dean and he frowned, not understanding why he did so. Castiel looked back to see Dean open his mouth as if to try to explain it again but Castiel stopped him by raising his hand. "I do not cry," he began. "I have seen people," he paused looking at Dean pointedly as he moved about the room, his fingertips sliding over the tops of anything in his reach, letting Dean know exactly who he mean by people, "cry many times before and have never cried because of it. Angels do not cry," he stated matter-of-factly causing Dean to chuckle as he sat down on the bed.

"Well, hate to tell you this but you just did Cas. You just cried," Dean grinned. "Never thought I'd see it but damn! You're eyes are really blood shot!" Castiel frowned and looked away from Dean's amused gaze, feeling self-conscious and again not understanding why. "Face it Cas, you're becoming human," Dean grinned, the statement making Castiel jerk violently were he stood, now still, his muscles tense, his face pulled tight in a grimace. "Cas?" Dean asked worriedly as he reached out to touch the angel who only pulled away. "What's wrong? Is it what I said?"

"Dean didn't mean it like that!" Sam began, trying to get Castiel to look at him but the angel wouldn't open his eyes. "He meant that we're just rubbing off on you. I mean it's only natural. You've been in your vessel for so long now that you must be feeling what he would have felt," Sam explained, trying to calm him. Castiel shook his head, finally looking at the boys who were almost as tense as he was.

"No. Angels are not supposed to feel, even when we inhabit a vessel. It is not how our father made us. It is not how he intended it." He paused looking down at his feet, fear pulsing in his veins and the ache in his chest threatening to overcome him. "It is how angels fall."

"You're kidding," Dean sputtered, staring up at Castiel whose lips thinned as his brows pulled together yet again.

"No. I am not."

"Well that's- that's!" Dean began standing up. "That's ridiculous! Angels can fall all because they feel?" Dean asked in disbelief as Castiel nodded slowly.

"Yes. It is why Anna fell-"

"No. Anna fell because she wanted to fall," Dean cut in quickly, his eyes hardening as he stared at Castiel. "Anna wanted to feel. She chose to fall, okay. There's a difference."

"Why should an angel want to fall, Dean?" Castiel asked. "We are not made to feel. We do not know what we miss because of it. If one cannot feel, how can one desire it? How can one know to miss it?" Dean didn't answer, merely looked away. "I know my purpose. I know what I was made for. I am an angel of the lord, sent to protect his creations. I was not given free will or the ability to feel. And I was fine with it. It was my purpose- is my purpose."

"Sounds like your trying awfully hard to convince yourself of that, Cas," Dean stated. "You already told me you have doubts-"

"I should not," Castiel began, cutting off Dean who only continued.

"But you do. You have doubts. Everyone has doubts." Again Castiel opened his mouth to interject but Dean stopped him with a raise of his hand. "I get it. You're an angel. You're not supposed to have doubts or feelings but you do. You need to stop dwelling on what you're supposed to be and start dealing with what you are. You're not just an angel anymore, Cas. You're something more." Both Sam and Dean watched Castiel as he took in what Dean said, his browns furrowing as he thought on it before he turned to Dean, his eyes searching and almost frantic compared to the calm of his body.

"I don't know how," he whispered. Dean frowned while Sam chuckled and shook his head as he mumbled, "welcome to the club."

"Ignore him," Dean said when Castiel show the younger Winchester a surprised look. "Listen Cas, it's okay that you don't. Most people don't deal with half the stuff they've got." Sam coughed a blatant "Dean" at this to which Dean shot him a glare. "You wanna shut up?" Dean growled as Sam frowned, nodding his head. Dean turned back to Castiel with a strained smile. "Anyways, what I'm saying is don't worry about it. You just gotta concentrate on fighting, on stopping the seals from breaking. Because when this is all over and done with, you'll be back in heaven and you'll forget all about your doubts, your feelings, and us."

Castiel sat silent for a moment as he thought on Dean's words. He knew that most of what Dean said was right, that he shouldn't focus on himself but on the seals and thus the fate of the world. But the feelings were new, thrilling, and terrifying. They consumed him. And he knew he'd never forget them, knew he'd never forget the humans he met and the feelings they invoked. Especially Dean. Castiel would never forget Dean, could never forget him even if he wanted to. Knew that the moment he stepped into hell and gripped Dean tight, leaving his hand upon Dean's skin, scaring, a permanent reminder. Knew he would never forget Dean for as long as he lived. So Castiel nodded and Dean moved to stand up before Castiel's soft voice stopped him.

"You're wrong," he whispered and both Dean and Sam looked at him strangely. "I won't forget," he clarified and Sam smiled but Dean only stared, green eyes meeting blue, wondering what exactly the angel meant.


Dean chewed his burger slowly, not relishing the taste like one would think but instead thinking on the angel and what had passed only an hour ago. Dean knew that Castiel was still there, sitting on his bed, thinking it all over just as Dean was doing. He just didn't understand it really. Didn't understand how the angel got under his skin, made him actually care because if Dean was truthful, which he was, only five people in the history of his life had actually gotten under his skin. His parents, Sammy, Bobby, and Cassie. Cassie, Dean thought, stopping mid chew as his brows burrowed in thought. Cassie… Castiel… Cas… well what'dya know? He 'humfed' softly and continued chewing, decided to put that thought away for another day. A day when perhaps his brother wasn't staring at him like he was losing his mind. Dean swallowed his burger and stared back at Sam for a moment before asking "is my face especially handsome today or do you just love me that much?" Dean grinned as Sam pulled a grimace as he shook his head, leaning forward on the table slightly.

"No. You just looked like you were thinking pretty hard about something. Wanna fill me in?" he asked. Dean shrugged, shaking his head as he bit into his burger, chewing it quickly before swallowing. "It's about Castiel, isn't it? About what he said?"

"Sam," Dean said warningly as he paused yet again in eating his burger, which was something he rarely, if ever did.

"Dean," Sam replied, holding his brother in a staring contest for a moment before he broke out into a grin.

"What?" Dean asked taken aback by his brother who was now starting to laugh. "What the hell is so funny, Sam, huh?"

"You're totally freaking out!" Sam laughed, trying hard to keep it inside as he clutched at his sides, biting his lip.

"I am not freaking out!" Dean whispered harshly, leaning forward as he glared at Sam. "And what, may I ask, am I supposed to be freaking out about?"

"Castiel," Sam stated simply, his eyes beginning to tear with laughter at the idea of it. It had been becoming pretty obvious in the past few months. At first it wasn't much. Sam had begun to notice how the angel had begun to pick up Dean's mannerisms, how he happened to show up exactly when Dean needed him the most and how Dean had begun to relax around the angel, letting his defenses slowly slip away, something he only did around a few select people. And then after the whole Alistair debacle, watching how the angel watched over his brother in the hospital, how he hovered as if being pulled in two directions, one towards Dean. It had become blatantly obvious then that the angel felt something for his brother and the way that Dean was dwelling on Castiel, Sam knew that the feelings were mutual.

"Cas? I'm freaking out about Cas?" Dean asked confused as Sam merely swallowed back his laugh as he took a bite of his salad before nodding. "What would I be freaking out about him?"

"Because he likes you," Sam stated simply, not looking up at his brother as he continued to eat but he knew very well what expression Dean was currently wearing.

"What?"

"And you like him," Sam continued taking another bite before sitting back and smirking at Dean who sputtered and shook his head.

"Dude! Castiel's a- he's a guy! He's male! I do not swing that way," Dean stated emphatically.

"I never implied it that way," Sam stated, his smirk only growing wider as Dean huffed, his brows furrowed and his lips pulled in a frown. "And technically he's genderless. His vessel happens to be male."

"Oh shut it, will you?" Dean groused as he took a rather savage bit out of his burger, chewing almost violently while he thought on what Sam was saying.

"Come on Dean. It's not a bad thing. You've got a freaking guardian angel who happens to care whether or not you live or die."

"Yeah, only because it turns out I'm the only one that can stop the apocalypse," Dean scoffed, taking another bite of his burger, this one softer, less angry and his voice gave away the feeling of hurt as if he actually believed what he was saying.

"No," Sam began shaking his head. "Not just because of that. You really don't see the way he looks at you, do you? It's like he's always fighting with himself. He wants to help you but he can't because the host won't let him. You didn't see him when you were in that hospital bed hooked up to all those machines, Dean. He looked freaking scared. Don't know why though. He pulled you out of hell and I'm sure if it came down to it, he'd bring you back again," Sam stated as he looked out the window, his arms crossed over his chest while Dean sat silently, now not touching his food at all. The sat in silence for a while, Dean staring at his plate while Sam stared at him.

Sam sighed and leaned forward. "Look, it's not a bad thing. Man I wish I had an angel watching over me the way Castiel watches over you."

"Sam-"

"Nah man, it's cool. What I'm saying is, it's okay if you like him and it doesn't matter to me what way you like him not that I'm saying you like him that way. I'm saying that he's a good guy and I'm glad you've got an angel watchin' out for you. If anyone in this world deserves on Dean, it's you."

Dean sighed, staring down at his plate as he processed his brother's words. He wasn't quiet sure what they meant but he knew that Sam was giving him his blessing, for what Dean had no clue. But whatever it meant, it could only be good and he figured Sam was right. Sort of. Because he also thought if anyone deserved a guardian angel, it was his brother. So Dean picked up the rest of his burger and bit into it, giving Sam a big smile as he looked up at him. Sam nodded and dug into the rest of his salad and Dean thought for a moment that his mother had been right. Angels were watching over him.