After The Rain
Chapter 4/?
A Seventh Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star

WARNING: This chapter will be unpleasant for Kevin fans. Please stop reading if you are adverse to anti-Kevin fics, unless you are up for the adventure. Please note I have warned you, Kevin will be painted in an unfavorable light. Please do not waste your time or mine with flames. I'm interested in constructive criticism, not mindless objections to a story I am going to write regardless. That said, I invite you to read and enjoy, and review please!

Chapter Four: I Don't Want To Cry

*~Lucy~*

Kevin came back after he cleaned up. Fresh from the shower and smelling like after shave. He wore his Police uniform, and said he had nothing else clean thanks to me. Of course it was my fault. I'm supposed to do his laundry for him. I think he just likes to wear the uniform because it makes him feel important.

"I'm going out with Roxanne," he announced. Good. Maybe they'll fall in love and he'll leave me alone. Ha. I know that will never happen. Kevin lives to make my life miserable, and so far he's done a pretty good job of it.

I just shrugged and looked away. I realized the rain had let up. Finally. No more rhythmic clip-clop on my roof.

"Did you hear me? I said I am going out with Roxanne." His voice was thick. Heavy with irritation.

The darkness clouding is eyes warned me. He would hit me if I didn't offer the proper response. Maybe I should let him. Let him hit me right there in my father's house. Mom and Dad would...what? Kick him out? I had already covered that, they could kick him out but they couldn't really make him leave. And he wouldn't leave. Men like Kevin never leave.

"I'm sorry, Kevin. I really don't feel well. I wish you would stay here with me tonight. Please don't go out with Roxanne."

"I am going out with Roxanne." He stood and paced the room a few times with his chest thrust out like some kind of hot shot. "And we're going to have a lot of fun dancing."

I tried to look upset. In the beginning, before he turned on me, I had complained every time he mentioned his gorgeous partner's name. I just knew they were having an affair, or an affair was inevitable between them. Now I couldn't care less.

"Kevin, stay with me, please."

"No. I'm not wasting my night off sitting around holding your hand." He came over to the side of my bed and bent down low to whisper in my ear. "Between you and me, I hope you choke on your vomit."

With that, he was gone. Somehow there seemed to be a void in the room where he had just been, and I felt alone. Utterly and completely alone.

I didn't want to start crying. I knew once I started, I wouldn't be able to stop. But the tears came anyway. Silent and relentless. I wanted to be a little girl again, I wanted my mother to hold me like she used to when I was sick or hurt or upset about something.

I tried to dry my eyes at the sound of footsteps on the stairs outside my room. Of course the effort was in vain, and the tears kept coming.

"Lucy? Honey?" Mom's voice trembled with concern. "Why didn't you call me?"

Hearing her voice jarred something in me and I gasped with a sob that spasmed through my body.

"I'm...I'm okay..."

"No you're not, Luce. You're not okay."

"Mom..."

Mom checked my forehead for fever then ran to the door and yelled for my dad. And that called everyone in the house up to my room, even Simon's dog Happy wanted to see what was happening.

I hope I gave them a good show when I puked all over the place. They all jumped back with little gasps of shock, horror, and being grossed-out.

"I'm taking her to the hospital," Mom said, and a tremble of motherly concern shook the words.

"Where's Kevin?" Someone asked. I think it was Robbie. "He'll want to go with her."

"No. It's his night off. He's out with Roxanne." I said.

"I'll page him," Robbie offered.

"No! I don't want him to go with me!" I screamed and jumped from the bed. I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door for effect. And I puked again. In the toilet this time, thankfully. Not that it mattered, Mom would clean up the mess in my bed like she had earlier today when I puked on Kevin.

"Lucy? Open the door, honey," Mom called from the other side.

I didn't answer her. I couldn't answer. I moved my mouth, but no sound came out. And blackness pulled me down. I couldn't move. I couldn't stop myself from falling into the blackness below that opened like a mouth to swallow me whole.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*~Simon~*

The house looked dark and ominous when I drove past it. Only one light shined, in the upstairs window I knew to be Morris' room. Only it wasn't Morris' room anymore. Some young girl called that room hers.

I could see her through the open blinds, dancing around like a maniac. I wondered what music she had on, what pop diva she idolized. But I really didn't care. I only watched her because she was in Morris' room.

I had been to his room only once.

"Well, this is it," he stepped back to let me go first into the room.

I stepped in and looked around. A bookcase occupied one corner, and held nothing but trophies and awards. No books. Maybe two, turned to lay flat. I wondered what they were, what they were about. What kind of books would Morris read?

"It's not much, I know..."

"Stop. It's fine. It's a room. I wasn't expecting the Ritz or anything."

He laughed. Oh how I loved to hear him laugh. He had one of those infectious laughs, the kind that could inspire a room full of people to start laughing, even when they didn't know what was so funny.

"Simon, sit down. I have to talk to you about something." I didn't like the tone of his voice. He sounded so serious, like my dad when he's about to give a long drawn out lecture.

"I don't want to sit down."

He shifted his eyes toward the bed. I sat, but only because he insisted. I had butterflies in my stomach and I didn't like it.

I thought he might kiss me, and that would be okay.

But he didn't look like he was going to kiss me. He looked like he was about to throw up.

Maybe he decided he didn't like me anymore, and he was going to tell me to get lost. I wasn't sure I could deal with that. I'd really prefer that he just kiss me and maybe tell me he's in love with me and he can't live without me, because that's how I felt about him.

But I'm not gay. I can't be gay.

The why am I thinking about Morris kissing me? Why do I want him to kiss me? Do I really want him to tell me he loves me? What if he says he can't live without me? Could I be gay, for him?

No. I'm not gay. I am not gay.

"Simon, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to say it."

He loves me, I know he does. I can see it, the way he looks at me, the softness in his eyes...He's going to tell me he loves me and...

"I'm moving. Next month. I'm going to Texas. My dad got transferred and...and I have to go."

My stomach bottomed out. I felt sick. I felt like I could puke right then and there. I wanted to puke. Dear God, why didn't he just say he loves me? Anything but this. Anything but leaving. Dear God, why? Why? It's cruel and unusual punishment and I haven't done anything wrong.

"No..." I whispered, a pathetic objection.

"I'm sorry, Simon. I have to. I don't want to. God knows I don't want to go. I want to stay here. But I can't. I have to go with my parents."

"No! It's not fair!" I felt tears sting my eyes. I wouldn't cry. Not now, not in front of him. "You're my best friend. You're my only friend. I don't want you to go."

"I'll come back, after I graduate. I'll be eighteen then."

"But that's still two years away."

"I know. But...I have to go with them, Simon."

I wanted to scream and cry and stomp my feet at the injustice of it all. And I might have done at least the crying part if he hadn't kissed me. Just like that, before I could think, he was there, sitting on the bed beside me with his fingers in my hair, his lips pressed to mine.

I never thought my first kiss would be another guy. But I opened my mouth to him, and sighed a little sigh of surrender. I wanted him to do more than just kiss me and comb my hair with his fingers.

"Morris..." I whispered and the screech of tires on wet pavement jarred me back to reality.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

End chapter 4. What a cruel place to stop, I know. I'm so bad. Hehe. You know you love it. And it keeps you coming back for more, and isn't that what it's all about? Please read and review and let me know what you think! Thanks! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)