Chapter 4


Four days later,

It was 2 o'clock in the morning and Ava was at her wits end. The walls of the apartment were paper thin to the point that it felt like she had screaming the baby in her place not across the hallway. She looked at the ceiling and blew out a breath.

She completely understood that babies cried on and off but this was ridiculous and she felt for three guys as they were doing their best but she was going to lose her cool. When a loud wail sounded, she pulled the blanket off her legs and quickly pulled on bra under the shirt she slept in and tossed some tights on before she headed out the door.

She went straight to their door and pounded on it. A second later, Wolf opened it and gave her an apologetic smile. She'd met him one time down where the letter boxes were and had a brief chat. He was a fellow Australian but unlike her, he still retrained his citizenship while she had naturalised America a few years ago. Her accent was what she called mongrel as she didn't sound American or Australian. But people always tried to guess where she was from which they invariably got wrong.

"You know anything about babies?" Wolf asked her in a tired but jovial manner.

"I know things about girls and that sounds like one not getting her way." Ava offered in good humour, she had babysat in her teens and looked after her nephew when he'd been alive. So she wasn't a baby whisperer but she felt she probably had some experience and advise to offer. If anything at least she could feel a little less prickly about listening to the crying through the walls.

"Hilarious, you want to try?" Wolf asked her.

"Why not?" Ava said, Wolf pulled open the door and welcomed her in, her eyes went wide as the living area was a mess of baby laundry, towels and toys. The kitchen looked just as bad. She felt sorry for the men as she noticed Rick Miller sacked out on the lounge, she knew the reason he could sleep was that he was nursing 5 hours of fatigue from just sitting still for her the previous morning while she tattooed him. She looked to the noise offender and recognised her and her father from a couple days ago.

"Cruz, we got reinforcements. Ava this is Cruz and the sound machine keeping us all awake is Clara." Wolf said, Ava looked to Cruz who turned and saw her. She saw the hint of recognition in his eyes as well as embarrassment.

"Hey, we meet again." She said as she pointed to Cruz, she still remembered how he stared at her scars. She knew one day she'd get used to it, just like how she had to relearn how to see the world with one eye. At least her art had evolved but the past six months getting back to a place.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry for the noise. She's not sick or anything. She just won't settle." Cruz told her, Ava moved to him and held out her hands.

"May I?" she asked, Cruz looked hesitant to hand her over but after a moment did as he was at the end of his rope. "Hello, why you being such a sookie lah lah?" Ava crooned softly to Clara as she took the crying baby out of his arms. Cruz watched as Ava casually turned Clara in her arms like it was old hat until the baby was laying face down on her forearm and her head supported in Ava's hand in the crook of her other arm; completely supporting the baby.

Ava started half jiggling and swaying Clara in her arms in a soothing manner. Clara continued to cry but Ava seemed to have a world of patience as she didn't look frazzled or impatient. She just spoke to Clara in soft tones and kept the motions and after a few more moments before her cries died down into little whimpers.

Cruz felt like a crappy father as he watched Clara's body tremble as she calmed down. Why couldn't he do that? Why hadn't he thought of it. Hell, it wasn't in the books. He wondered on a scale of deadbeat drug addicts and super dads like the X.O. and the Captain; he'd rank right now. He couldn't even get his baby girl to have a full night's sleep and he was so sleep deprived he couldn't remember what the book told him about babies to begin with.

"Look at that." Wolf said in relief as the room quietened down. Even Cruz was relieved.

"It will probably only last for a few minutes to half an hour. Who knows." Ava said as she continued to gently sway and jiggle Clara in her arms. His baby girl wrapped her arms around Ava's like a Koala and took shaky huffs of air as she calmed. It killed him that he was unable to do what Ava was doing right now.

"What did we do wrong?" Cruz asked Ava as he couldn't help but look at her like she were his hero but also feel completely cut up at his own inadequacies as a new parent.

"Nothing," Wolf told him before Ava could say the same thing.

"He's right." Ava said as she could see the man was really beating himself up over it.

"Then why did she calm down for you?" Cruz asked her desperate to know the secret.

"I have no clue. You know that if she's unsettled it can be for many reasons. Could be gas, could be colic, could be she's overstimulated by her surrounding, change in formula brand, any number of things." Ava told him with a frown as she continued to rock and jiggle the baby in her arms. She couldn't help but enjoy the feel of the baby in her arms. It reminded her of when she used to hold her nephew and rock him, the thought saddened her as she had failed him and for that he'd died

"I have no clue, I've only been a Dad for a week and I'm doing a real crappy job of it." Cruz said with bone deep frustration and disappointment at himself.

"Relax Papa Bear. Not even I could get her to settle and I've handled many a cranky child before." Wolf told Cruz as he didn't want him beating himself up. He'd even tried the hold Ava was doing and it hadn't worked for him yet it was for Ava. He also didn't miss the way Cruz was looking at the woman holding Clara and how it pique his curiosity given Ava was a bit of a shut in.

"He's right, don't beat yourself up over it. You guys look fried. Why don't go you get some shut eye? I can watch her for a while." Ava said to them. She was awake and knew it was very unlikely she would get any sleep anyway.

"Wolf, you and Miller get some sleep. I'll stay up, I'm too wired to sleep." Cruz said as he wanted to be alone with Ava to talk to her about Clara and apologise for the lack of sleep she was getting thanks to his kid on top of all his other offences.

"I won't say 'No'. Thank you Ava, I will buy you a case of beer." Wolf told her.

"I'd prefer you pay me in art supplies." Ava said wryly, as she preferred to be given something she could use.

"Done, make a list." Wolf said, he moved over to where Miller was shook him awake. Ava gave him a smile as Rick Miller recognised her but she knew better than to pretend she knew him as she didn't want to upset him given he was keeping the tattoo a secret at the moment wanting it to be finished before he said anything.

"Hey," He said in a sleepy manner. The redheaded man looked wrecked even with having slept with a screaming child in the room.

"Hey, this is Ava. She's looking after Clara so we can sleep." Wolf said as he tugged Miller by the arm off the lounge. Miller didn't even question as he said 'Thank you' and disappeared into one of the three doors to the side of the apartment while Wolf went through another.

Ava looked to Cruz as they were alone with exception of Clara who was finally sleeping and currently drooling down Ava's arm. Not that Ava cared as the lack of screaming was bliss to her ears.

"How do you do that? Wolf did that and it didn't work." Cruz told her.

"Maybe she didn't like his rhythm or it could be his face. I read an article that said Babies don't like ugly people."Ava told him, Cruz laughed and for some reason it felt like it had been years instead of mere hours since he'd done it. But then when Clara was crying, it just frazzled him. The Navy educated and trained him to an inch of his life that when he was on duty he knew what to do. If there was trouble he knew his role but being a father was like being thrown back to his first week of boot camp except the now the drill sergeant was 5 (now 6) week old who didn't speak his language which made learning the ropes incredibly hard.

"I hope it's that but then she cries at me too." Cruz said suddenly realising that he was in the ugly club too.

"She cries at you because she can't say what she wants and it's probably very frustrating for her. Though I honestly don't know how they don't end up motion sick from all the swaying and gently rocking. You want a go?" Ava asked changing the topic as she just told Cruz in a roundabout way that he was good looking. She just hoped he was so sleep deprived that he didn't make the connection.

"No, you've got it down. I'll try next time. Unless you're tired." he said realising he was basically using his beautiful neighbour as a baby silencer. That said beautiful neighbour was also just as sleep deprived as them.

"I'm good, I like them when they are this small." Ava said with a soft smile as she looked down at Clara. She really wished she could see the baby girl's face. She found it amusing to rock babies to sleep especially as they fought to keep their eyes open. The struggle of it before they had an expression that Ava could only think said 'Fuck it, I'm done' before they conked out completely.

"You have kids?" Cruz asked her.

"Nope. I babysat when I was a teenager and I had a nephew. I looked after him a lot for my brother. He was a cute bugger too." Ava said with a soft reminiscing smile. Cruz wanted to ask where her nephew was but let the question go unasked as he was afraid to know the answer. "You know, it could be that she was just exhausted by the time you handed her over to me. So it was just perfect timing on my part than actual skill." Ava added trying to make him feel better. She knew how much new parents beat themselves over their decisions when it came to their kids. She felt that Cruz truly cared and wanted to be the best even if she knew next to nothing about him. It was just a sense she got about him.

"I doubt that." Cruz said with a frown.

"So who's been looking after your baby while you've been away?" Ava asked changing the topic as she already knew he was from the Nathan James. Preacher was the worst gossip and due to his military background needed to know everything about everyone who lived in their area especially her neighbours given he was protective of her. So he shared 'intel' with her.

"Child services." Cruz lied as he had no clue. "Her mother; Elsa died from the virus less than two months ago before we got the cure here." Cruz said in a bereaved tone.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Ava said sincerely.

"We've all lost people." Cruz said as it did hurt to think of Elsa being gone, "Anyway, I wanted to apologise for the other day when I was caught off guard-"

"The scars. I know, it's why I cover them as best I can without having to resort to a paper bag with eye holes." Ava said making a poor joke, because she still wasn't used to having the scars or being blinded in one eye. Sure she adapted to the partial blindness of only seeing in 2D and her depth perception being a little fraught but it was hard to remember that her face was altered. It was hard to deal with the stares, so making jokes eased her low self esteem issues.

"You don't have to hide your face with me or any of us. I wasn't put off by you, just that someone would do that to a person." Cruz confessed.

"Forget about it." Ava told him as she really didn't want him to become fixated on them. Let alone talk about it.

"So I hear you're an artist." Cruz said, changing the topic. Ava looked at him a little blankly.

"Where?" Ava asked confused.

"Wolf, asking for art supplies." Cruz reminded her, Ava bit her bottom lip and nodded as it came back her.

"Right, sorry my brain is a little scattered. Yes, I'm an artist. I co-own Bespoke Ink just down the street with Preacher." Ava told him.

"The Super?" Cruz asked in surprise. He didn't know why but he just assumed the man was looking after the building as a full time occupation given how well the place was being kept.

"Yeah," Ava said with nod.

"I amazed he hasn't kicked us out for Clara and her crying so much at night." Cruz said.

"You pay rent and he can sleep through anything because he soundproofed his unit." Ava informed him, Cruz nodded in understanding as it made sense.

"Not yours?" he asked, Ava gave a wry smile as she gently turned Clara over in her arms so she was cradling the baby girl to her chest. Not once did she stop moving on her feet. The whole movement of it mesmerising him at the gentle flow of of it.

"I wasn't ready to put in the cash for it. Now I'm thinking it might be a wise investment." Ava said in a soft voice as she looked down at Clara. The beautiful baby snuffled and grumbled at being moved and drowsily opened her eyes to look up her. But Clara didn't stay awake long before sleep overtook her.

"Sorry." Cruz said, Ava smiled softly at Clara and for some reason Cruz wished he was on the receiving end of the smile. But then he felt a stab of guilt because a part of him wished Elsa was here to be with their child. But he pushed it away as it was useless to expend his thoughts on something that wouldn't change.

"Don't be, you can't control everything and babies cry. It's just the way the world turns," Ava told him, her eyes not leaving Clara's face.

"Well, we should go to bed-" Cruz stopped as he realised what he'd just said and Ava's head snapped up at the suggestion. "I meant put Clara to bed. See if she takes to it." Cruz said correcting himself.

"Sure." Ava said with a smile, she followed him as he lead her to his room. A week ago, he felt this would have gone a completely different way but right now the only way he'd feel lucky was if Clara slept for more than two hours.

"Wow." Ava said her smile broadening as they stepped into Cruz's room. He didn't turn on the light but there was enough filtering from the hallway in for her to see the room. She didn't know what to expect given the apartment was a mess but his room was hysterical that she fought not to laugh.

"What?" Cruz asked as he saw her amusement.

"It's so clean." Ava remarked with a smile. The room was, there was a bassinet to the side next to a constructed crib in one corner of the room near a small changing table with a bin. There was a large canvas bag that had Cruz's name stamped on it next to a double bed that was neatly made up. But everything was clean and neat in comparison to the living area.

"Yeah, we haven't set up the nursery room so it's kind of exploded in the living area." Cruz said a little embarrassed he knew if his mother was alive she'd be embarrassed and harassing him for not being on top of it before allowing visitors over.

"Well, you'll get it sorted. So bassinet or Crib?" Ava asked him.

"Bassinet." Cruz said, he watched as Ava gently laid Clara in the bassinet. He didn't know why by part of him liked seeing her take great care with his child. It made him wonder what it'd be like to be in a partnership like Danny and Kara's with a baby because he didn't imagine rearing a kid with Miller and Wolf. Not that he wasn't grateful because he was, he didn't know how he would ever repay them.

"Ok, let's see how long the peace lasts." Ava said in a teasing low voice as she walked out of the room, Cruz couldn't help but smile as he followed closing the door a little so it would darken the room for Clara.

"Thank you." he told her sincerely.

"It's ok," Ava assured him, he really felt she was a saint as she was being really graceful about him and Clara.

"Would you like to stay for a coffee?" he asked her.