Last chapter. The very last scene has maybe(?) the lightest M. Just saying as this as a "warning" because I can't properly estimate this whole rating thing.
5 days later -Wednesday
(via text message)
HEY NICK. CAN U HELP ME MOVE BACK INTO THE LOFT THIS FRIDAY? DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GUYS PUT MY BOXES WITH STUFF…
SURE. I CAN HELP. I HAVE A STAFF MEETING AROUND 6 PM. THOUGH. SO WHEN DO YOU WANNA MOVE ?
FANCY. I GUESS 10ISH, NOT AFTER NOON.
OK, GREAT. SEE YA.
Two days later - Friday
Jess entered her room and was instantly met with two stacks of boxes in front of her. The room smelled all clean and a little abandoned. Her decorations, posters and any kind of colorful touch she had given her room was gone, probably/hopefully all packed up in these boxes right in front of her. Jess approached the boxes and had a look at the top one. She could recognize Nick's sloppy handwriting with a sharpie pencil, it said "Night stand and decorations", another said "Closet 1". Jess smiled to herself.
"Hey " Nick greeted her from the doorstep, where he was leaning against. "Long time, no see"
"Whoa, you scared me dude."
"Sorry"
"Hey thanks for moving my boxes back in here. You didn't have to do that though. This is not what I intended when I ask you help me move back in."
"Oh no problem, they are way to heavy for you anyways."
"Hey I'm a strong woman. Don't question my strength. "
"I'm not, I'm not. Believe me, I know. I remember all the times you beat me up, they are not forgotten."
"Haha. You're funny."
"I know" he smiled at her. "So I guess, you don't need any more help with putting stuff back to where it belongs, right?"
"No, please. Please DO NOT help me put my clothes back into my closet or arrange my decorations." Jess laughed because the idea of Nick decorating her room sounded like a nightmare.
"Good"
"Great"
"All right then."
Jess turned back around to have a closer look at her boxes and started moving the "Closet 1 –Box" into her closet. Nick kept standing there watching her at her actions.
"I thought you wanted to leave."
"I want to."
"So?"
"So...I don't know. I also kinda wanted to talk to you…apologize?" The last word he was not quiet sure about, if it was chosen correctly. Jess looked up to him, into his eyes. Than set the box aside which she was currently holding.
"Apologize?"
"Yeah I don't know, you know, about last week. And we kinda-"
Jess shook her head and held her hand up. "No. No, it's okay, Nick. Actually. I should be the one apologizing. I kinda overreacted a little bit last time we saw each other. I was hoping we could maybe …you know, just leave this behind us?"
"Really?" Nick looked a little surprised.
"Yeah Nick, really. You have your business, I have mine. We are friends, soo…"
"So we're cool?"
"The coolest"
"Ok, great." Nick was a little taken aback by her prosaic response but took it. Definitely better than if she would've been mad at him.
"Glad we have that settled. Now stop watching me you weirdo and get out of my room" she laughed a little but was also serious.
"Alright than. Bar tonight?"
"Can."
One week before
(Cece's apartment, Friday late afternoon.)
"Ceec, I don't know what to do."
"Do about what?"
"Nick."
"Oh…about that. Thanks for not telling me by the way."
"You know?"
"I do. You know he's bad at lying."
"He is."
"So is there something going on?"
"No there's not. Definitely not after today anyway. Uuuhhrgg…"
"What happened?"
"Nothing happened."
"Well there was sex, so something must have happened. He had to at least take his pants of, right?"
"I'm not talking about that"
"Than please enlighten me because you've been frustrated ever since you arrived here and has not said one comprehensible sentence. Sorry I don't mean to harsh but.."
"I know Cece, I know. "
"So tell me?"
"You know there are sometimes these happenings which like really annoy you but you don't want to actually talk about it because it's even more annoying that you feel the urge to talk about it because it's suppose to not affect you.."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You see, I should not talk about this…"
"Jess…come on, spill."
"Okay, okay." Jess pauses "So…Me, Nick have a friendly encounter before Jury Duty."
"Correct. By the way, was it good?" Cece asks rising her eyebrows.
"This is not what we are talking about"
"It always is Jess." She has a genuine smile now on her face.
"Okay, yes. Of course, have I ever complained?!"
"No but I don't know, things can change. I had this one guy-"
"This not what we're talking about."
"Ok, sorry. Go on."
"And before I left he was really sweet and you know how Nick can be…Well so I come back and I'm like not expecting much. You know, I thought, ok great. We had a fun night but we decided to be friends and it has been working great, so it's better to stick to that. Everything easy."
"How can you ever think things are easy between you guys?"
"Well it was."
"You don't go at each other because you're friends."
"I understand what you're saying and yes of course there are feelings involved, I know that, but we're better at being friends."
"Right. Anyway, go on."
"Yes. So I arrive back in the loft and I'm sleeping in his bed. And I really have a thing for him when he's drunk and vulnerable and honest. And he pecks on in the lips and I don't know he makes it all difficult and blurry again."
"You see."
"Yes. But it was only being friendly, nothing sexual or something. Ok, moving on. Because now what happens is, turns out the next morning he slept with Reagan, surrogate roommate. And I hated it. I really did and I got mad at him. I don't feel like I have any right to be mad at him."
"He slept with Reagan? What?"
"Yes."
"I cannot believe he slept with Reagan."
"I know. But do you understand that I don't feel like I'm allowed to be mad at him or to judge him?"
"Honestly, Jess, I get what you're saying but if it would have been me, I would have been pissed too."
"Really? Ok. Good. Because you know what my biggest problem is? I would have not cared if it would have been a random girl from the bar, we're not together, this is his business but Reagan was his roommate. For like one month. It feels like I was being replaced."
"Jess don't go there. You know that's not how it is."
"Yeah but now I don't know what to do…"
"Just act normal. You know, stay with me here for a couple of days, we're gonna do nice girly stuff, maybe some wedding planning if you're willing to? So that you can distance yourself a little bit from this situation."
"Act normal? By the way, wedding planning sounds fun. I also wanna do SPA too!"
"Ok, we will, honey. Yeah, in a week or so you might not even care that much anymore unless you want to confront him? Unless you do want to have the right to be hurt or pissed? Unless you think that being friends is not enough? But if you don't think so, I'd just try to drop it, act normal."
"I do wanna be friends…"
"Well than that's all I can advise you to do. "
Friday evening - Clyde's
"Pink wine?"
"Yes, please."
"Coming up."
Nick bend down to reach for the whine bottle and poured wine into a glass.
"There you go."
"Where is everybody else?"
"Oh, I think their all still working. Either that or their too busy doin' the nasty stuff."
"Doing the nasty stuff? Since when do you talk like that."
"I don't know. Do you want me to say, they're probably having sex with their significant others. That's better?"
"I don't know, no, not really."
"See."
"Yeah and we're the dumb, unsatisfied ones. Drinking to forget!"
"Hey, I'm not drinking."
"You're not?"
"Nope. As a manager I decided it would be nice to be a good example in front of the staff."
"Oh, ok. You're taking this really serious aren't you?"
"I really am. It's really fun, Jess."
"Who would have thought. But I'm happy for you. That's what you want right?"
"Yes, I really do. You know, I'm not the smartest or anything but it's nice to have a little bit more of a demanding job. "
"I believe you…"
"But I still have enough time to screw this all up."
"Why would you screw this up. You have so many years of experience. I think there's no better choice than you as a manager. You gotta have a little bit more faith in yourself."
"Right because I don't have any reason to doubt my abilities to do anything. "
"I'm not gonna argue with you about this."
"But maybe I want to. Give me one good reason why would not screw this up?"
"I already did, you have experience like no one else."
"Doesn't mean I could be a good manager."
"Nick…stop it. This is annoying."
Nick looked a little grumpy, maybe frustrated. He didn't even know why he was trying to argue with Jess whether or not he could be a good manager. But maybe he just wanted to get some emotion out of her. He felt like she'd been quite distant, even clinical. He was not able to read her at all. Maybe she was still mad at him or something? Even he felt like they had to talk it out a little more and he thought Jess would have been even more eager to do so. But somehow…
"Jess are we really cool?"
"Sure."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Because I felt like, I don't know…"
"Like what Nick?"
"I thought you'd maybe want to talk about what happened between us and you were really pissed about Reagan. And now you're like you don't care at all about anything like nothing happened."
"Well what's there to talk about?"
"What's there to talk about?" Nick tried to whisper, the bar was probably not the best choice to talk this out. "Oh I don't know, I guess I'm the only one here but I can't just forget that we spent the night. "
"But with Reagan you can?"
"Jess."
"No, Nick listen. Don't turn this on me. This is what you wanted. We're friends. Things happen. That's what you want right?" She looked at him questioningly and he seemed defeated. Before he could respond Schmidt walked into the bar.
"Heey fellooows! What's up?" Schmidt put an arm on Jess shoulder and showed them one humongous smile.
"We're kinda talking here right now."
"No we're not. Everything is fine. What's with the good mood?"
"Oh I don't know. I guess I'm still engaged to Cece so I think that's reason enough. She should arrive any minute too."
"Great. Wanna beer or something else?"
"No man. No alcohol for me before the wedding. Have to stay in my best form."
"'Till the wedding? You're gonna get embarrassingly drunk on your own wedding if you stop drinking now, you're already total lightweight."
"Alright, alright. But only one."
Saturday to Sunday night
It was 4 am in the morning and Jess couldn't sleep. She had arrived around 1-2 am at the loft and she did feel a little tipsy from going out with Cece but she still couldn't sleep. Normally alcohol had the same effect as a sleeping pill on her but apparently not tonight. She wasn't able get the conversation with Nick from the night before out of her head and still didn't know what he would have responded. After all the other guys had arrived that evening they didn't talk much nor did they on Saturday. But now she left like they needed to talk. Her brain was currently playing with the idea of just going over there to his room, which was a crazy idea, she knew that. He was sleeping, she couldn't just walk over there in the middle of the night. That would be crazy right? Still there she was 10 min later, standing in front of his bedroom door. She knocked a couple of times but he didn't answer which of course was not surprising. After the fifth knock without an answer she opened the door slowly and examined the sleeping creature rolled up together on his bed. She walked towards the bed and set down at the edge. Slowly she moved her hand onto his shoulder and shook it lightly.
"Nick" she whispered, again and again until he turned to her side.
"hmmm?" he grunted.
"Nick, I'm sorry that I'm waking you up right now."
"Jess?" he said with a low and tired voice. "What are you doing in here, what time is it?"
"It's 4.23 am."
"What are you doing here?"
"I can't sleep. "
"So you came over here to wake me up too?"
"We need to talk."
"NOW?"
"Yes. I can't sleep."
"Can't this wait 'til tomorrow?"
"No."
"Oh god…Jessica." Nick rubbed his eyes and tried to get her into focus. He sat up a little, so that he wouldn't immediately fall asleep again.
"What is it, Jess?"
She paused for a little before she started "I can't forget about us either and I did want to talk about it."
"But?"
"But…" Jess didn't know how to continue, if she really wanted to be completely honest with him. "But. But you and Reagan, in our loft, your roomie…it hurt."
"Jess." He paused for little, reached out for her hand. "I know and I'm really, really sorry. If I could somehow go back in time and change it, I would, really. But I can't. I…this could have been anybody. I know it sucks that she was my roommate but it didn't mean anything, at all. Nada."
"I know but somehow I still am kind of pissed at you. I don't want to be and don't have the right to. We're friends. We. Are. friends"
"Maybe we're not. It's always been different with us. That's what you said yourself. It always has been and always will probably. And there are feelings that I have for you…that are definitely not friendly. But it's okay because we're Nick & Jess. That's how we are. So you do have the right to be mad at me."
"I do?"
"Yes."
"Ok. So I'm not gonna talk to you anymore?"
"I don't know Jess. You're mad at me, I can't tell you how to act mad." Nick chuckled.
"hmm…I'm gonna think about that." There was a silence for a little while, taking in the weirdness of this situation they were in.
"Do you wanna stay here tonight?"
"Here? With you?"
"Yeah."
"I'm supposed to be mad at you."
"You can be pissed at me here too. Imagine all the pranks you can play on me while I'm asleep."
"uuhh…you're right. Maybe that is a good idea." Jess laughed a little.
Nick pulled at her hand that he was still holding into his direction. Hesitantly, she moved towards him and crawled under his bedspread. It was weird at first and she didn't know why she actually had agreed to this but she couldn't lie, it did feel good. Carefully, Nick pulled an arm around her and pulled her closer. His body was radiating a lot of heat as usual. She placed her head onto his should, near his neck, and her hand on his chest.
"Goodnight."
Next morning
Nick woke up when he felt the back of a hand slap him not so very gentle right into his face. Ouch. He opened his eyes and caught the hand disturbing his sleep. He placed it back onto to his chest and realized that they hadn't moved at all during the night. He turned his face to have a glance at Jess. There she was. All perfect and beautiful. As he was leaning in to place a kiss on her forehead, she opened her eyes. Nick stopped in his movement and distanced himself again so that he could look into her eyes.
"Mornin' "
"Good morning"
"So I can see you were still pissed at me this morning"
"Why?"
"Well you kinda slapped me in the face."
"I did?" she giggled a little.
"Yes"
"Good."
"Good? That hurt."
"Even better."
"Alright I get it, I see what you're doing."
"I'm not doing anything. To be honest though I did sleep very well."
"Oh you don't say?"
"Yes."
"Interesting."
Silence fell upon them. They kept smiling at each other and Jess didn't understand.
"Ah, Nick. What are we doing here?"
"I don't know Jess. You wouldn't get out of my bed last night, so you convinced me to let you stay here…"
"Ah, you're right. Now I remember. Thank you so much...No, seriously?"
"I don't know Jess, nothing happened here. You're just lying next to me?!"
"I am…" Jess closed her eyes and tried to focus "God dammit…" she whispered, more to herself.
"Hey Jess, I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable just say so?"
"No. No, I'm definitely not uncomfortable."
"Good because neither am I."
Jess tried to loose a little physical contact and moved a little away from him. She turned her body in his direction and supported her head with her hand. Jess studied his face for a few seconds, he had a three-day stubble and definitely needed a new haircut, his hair had grown long and were standing up in every direction possible. But she also didn't want him to get a haircut because she liked the messy hair. She liked much more than only his messy bed hair. His eyes, his mouth, his hands, his bubble belly, his…a lot of things.
"Right now, I don't wanna be friends." she observed more for herself than for him.
"Good so come back here." But she didn't move. So he just stirred closer towards her, directly facing her. Their eyes locked for a few seconds before his right hand carefully trailed down from her ribcage to her waist. His eyes followed the movement of his hand until it was settled further down at her hip and than glanced back into her eyes. Without rethinking this too much, he captured her cherry red lips. She tilted her head a little in eager response and placed a hand onto his stubble. His hand moved down her butt cheek and pulled her closer into him…As the kiss intensified, he rolled on top of her, his hands further exploring her body. He could feel the goose bumps that were forming on her bare skin and it made him even more excited. Nick moved down to her neck and started nipping and biting her skin gently while her hands found his hair. God, she loved this. One hand moved down from his head towards his ass, her fingers reaching the waistband of his boxers. With a quick movement she was touching and squeezing bare skin. He moaned against her neck and he was so close to her, his hardness pressing into her crotch and it all felt right.
"Nick?"
He stopped. "What?" he whispered against her skin.
She directed his head towards hers again, so that she could look him in the eyes. Her palm cupped his cheek again, her thumb stroking his stubble lightly. She lifted her head and placed a tender kiss onto his lips, pouring as much emotion into it as she could.
"After this, I don't want to go back."
Ok so this was the last chapter, it might've felt a little rushed, sorry, but I hate to leave things unfinished. Multi-chapter fics are definitely not for me and I stepped completely out of my comfort zone with writing feelings, drama and things like that. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading! And, oh of course, happy season 5! I'm kind of hopeful.
