December 10
Studying for midterms, don't have that much time to write. But it's not like I have anything to write about so that's okay. Billy still won't let me go see Bella. Maybe I'm getting paranoid, but I have a suspicion that he's told some people not to drive me down there. That sounds stupid, and I don't even know why Billy would want to keep me away from Bella. Maybe I'm going crazy. Everything else seems to be pointing to that too.
December 16
Phew. They're over. The midterms, I mean. Sophie wanted to go out and celebrate but I made some excuse, saying Billy was going to be pissed at me if I didn't come home. Then I went over to Quil's. What a jerk I am. Quil's telling me how stupid I am and to hurry up and tell her I'm not interested so he can ask her out. You know what? Boys are jerks.
December 20
There. I've done it. I've dumped her. She looked like she was going to cry when she walked away. I felt horrible. But it's not as bad as before.
Quil said he heard Old Quil and Sam Uley talking about something, whispering, all secretive. He heard something about patrols, "there's not enough". But then they saw him so they shut up quick.
December 28
Quil's birthday today. He had a little party-ish thing...nothing big. It was fun.
January 1
Billy says Charlie says that Bella's better. Well, not all that much. Still screaming in her sleep, but she's more "awake", Billy says.
Apparently Charlie said that he threatened Bella with having to go back to Florida to live with her mom and that got a serious reaction out of her. I don't understand why she stays here. You'd think that she'd want to forget him, not stay in this boring place and be reminded of him at every familiar landmark, every memory.
January 10
I can't believe it. I mean, why me? Why now? Why so...casually? Not that I'm complaining. I'm thrilled. Who wouldn't be?
Okay, let me start from the beginning. So, I was sitting at the table doing my homework (well, not actually doing it, just kind of sitting there spacing out) when I heard the roar of Billy's old truck. The one Bella bought. I couldn't believe my ears till I ran out and saw it. But then I couldn't believe my eyes. She looked so...horrible. Her skin was lighter, paler, but not creamy like last time I saw her, but sallow, unhealthy. Her hair was darker, dark brown, standing in sharp contrast to her face. She had big dark circles under her eyes, even more than Edward Cullen. And the way she stood, the way she walked, the way she smiled tiredly at me like she hadn't smiled in months--well, she probably hadn't--was just so...
I was shocked. But I hid it and acted happy to see her, well, I was happy to see her, of course I was. Anyways, she came in and said hi to Billy, then we went out to the shed, Bella said she wanted to look at the car I was building. But then she said she had some motorcycles in her truck, picked up from some corner. It's beyond me why she'd want to fix them--she'd never really seemed like a motorcycle kind of girl, but I didn't ask. I didn't want her to leave, after all. Well, we got the motorcycles, they're not half bad, one of them's a Harley Sprint.
Bella's coming over tomorrow to work on the motorcycles...she said she wants me to teach her to ride, too.
I can't say I'm not suspicious, but I'm not going and wasting my time. I'm not that stupid.
Quil and Embry are never going to let me hear the end of this.
