A/n: hey hey hey! what's up? Sorry I haven't updated like ANY of my GG fics! sadness! but I just finished w/ finales and am out of finale hell! (think i failed bio. but that's ok who wants to be a biologist). SO now i can update freely! btw. Super sad over Heath Ledgers death. Just wanted to put that out there! sadness. lol. Thanks for the reviews! AND the awesome people who decided to read! you guys are amazingly awesome! lol. Chapter 4! I was thinking of making this longer, but it should be done soon.

Chapter 4: Car

You know.

I know you know.

The look on your face.

The realization.

You aren't dumb despite what your teachers said.

I hate that about you.

You're too smart.

Too lazy.

Too withdrawn from this world.

I love that about you too.

"What happened to you Rory?" you ask taking my arm and helping me steady myself against the brick wall outside the bar. I'm not exactly sure how we ended up outside.

But we did.

Somehow.

"Jess..." I breath looking down at my shoes.

My 700 dollar Steve Maden leather boots were covered in vomit.

When did that happen?

"Where's your car?" you ask still holding my arm.

I try and suppress the shiver that runs up my spine.

"I-I..." I mumble closing my eyes and willing the world to stop spinning.

"Rory! Focus!" you yell holding my arms tighter.

"Stop."

I wheeze my eyes still closed.

I don't want to see the repulsion in your face.

But I can hear it.

"Stop." I whisper again and keel over.

"Rory." you say picking me up.

Your dragging me somewhere. Where?

"Let go! Jess!" I whined trying to twist away from your hands.

"Rory! Stop! God, you need help." you mutter.

"Rory!" you yell again.

We stop and I realize we are near my car.

"My car." I said hugging the black machine.

I don't see your facial expression.

"Where do you live?" you ask.

I giggle and twirl around the car I pick my way through my purse and hold my keys up triumphantly.

"Found!" I yell smiling.

You glare at me.

"Your not driving. Your drunk and high and totally—"

"Jess! Chill out! It's not like Logan will notice." I say shaking my head.

"He's too busy getting his freak on with his new secretary. Or something."

I look at you and your expression.

It's blank.

But your eyes say it all.

Pity.

More freaking pity.

"It's not why I do it." I clarify thinking he thinks I do coke cause of Logan.

"It's not why I do it at all." I add jamming the key in the lock and twist to open the door.

"Then why?"

"Why what?" I ask feeling the need to play dumb.

"Why do you do what you do, Rory! It's not...it's not you." you say coming over to me and stopping my from getting in the car.

I chuckle darkly at him. "What is me, anymore, Jess? I'm kinda...useless."

"Your not useless." you say quietly.

I nodded, "I'm useless. If I was to jump off that bar building and die. No one would care." I state confidently.

"Don't."

I look up to see your expression. It's angry, very angry. Perhaps the angriest it's been all night.

"Don't pretend to be the only one in the world. Don't think your so misunderstood. You aren't. You're an overdramatic shallow trophy wife who thinks they can find solace in a bottle of vodka and some crack. You did this to yourself." You spit.

And suddenly I'm yelling now, "you don't know me! You don't know what's happened to me for the last 6 years, Jess! Stop pretending like you still know me! Stuff has—"

"Yeah! I heard. Lorelai told me when she and Luke got married. You guys got in a fight cause you were all freaked out by some no-nothing scum newspaper editor who told you, you were better as a secretary! God, Rory! So it was one person who told you, you couldn't do it! Do you know how many people I've had in my life telling me I couldn't do it? A helluva lot, you know and guess what! I did it! I'm a successful writer with a great life and that's because I followed my freakin dreams! So don't try and push all this self-pity onto me. You've had it better then some people, including me." You say in one long breath.

I just stare at you, then turn and open my door I slammed it closed so you don't follow. I crawl into the back and take your book out. I take the rest of the coke out, too. I can feel your eyes on me from outside. I put the coke onto the book and start making it into lines. Suddenly you're banging on the doors to try and get me to stop, or at least open the door.

I don't.

Finally you find an unlocked door. You're in the drivers seat trying to get the book from my hands. The lines are almost done.

"Rory! Stop!" you yell as I put my face down to the book and finish.

I block your yelling out and scoot as far as I can from you. Out of the corner of my eye I see you climbing over the seats. The drug goes up my nose and into my system. I'm numb once again and your seething with anger in the seat next to me.

My phone starts ringing and it's 'Guns of Brixton' and I pick it up still staring at you.

"Hello?" I ask quietly.

"Rory! Where the hell are you!" His voice screeches.

You look at me.

"My car...broke." I say pathetically.

I have the sudden feeling of smiling.

"Broke?" He shouts.

There's classical music in the back.

"Sorry." I say pathetically feeling the need to giggle.

I bit my lip and Jess raises an eyebrow.

"I have a friend with me, he'll take me." I said bursting out into full giggles.

He doesn't even ask why I'm laughing, just hangs up after telling me to 'get my ass over here.'

"Who was that?" you ask quietly.

"Loogaaan!" I say in a sing-song voice.

You look at me and shake your head.

"You need help, Rory."

"I know." I whisper smiling sadly at you.

"Whose Logan?"

I sigh dramatically.

"My husband."

(A/n: Reviews? how was it? ahh! it's so cold here! lol. So. Reviews?)