A/n: Thank you to all of the lovely reviews so far, I'm glad you're all enjoying my story and the conflict of interests between the two protagonists. This next chapter was a bit difficult to write - as chapters that are tailored to move the story along so often are - so I hope it works and you all continue to enjoy it. Many thanks and please keep reading and reviewing.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Chapter 4
For someone who was brooding, Daniel was doing a good job hiding the pain and hurt that his heart had been experiencing since the afternoon before. Betty had hit the nail on the head as usual, he had been selfish. He hadn't wanted Betty to leave Mode because he couldn't tell how he was going to cope without her. He hadn't shown up at her party because he wasn't sure how he was going to handle knowing it would probably be one of the last opportunities he was going to have to see her, hold her, love her.
She was right; he was the most selfish, spineless being that had walked the planet. Just because Betty's leaving hadn't suited him he'd made it extremely difficult for her to forgive him, want him, and love him back.
"I'm such a fool."
"Well, you have been known to do some pretty stupid stuff," Alexis was making blueberry pancakes for everyone, "But I think the situation with Betty has got to be the most stupid of them all."
"Thanks Alexis, you really have a knack of making me feel better about myself."
"You think you deserve to feel better? How on earth did you think she was going to react when she saw you again? You wasted far too much time after watching her leave before chasing after her. "
"All things you've said before."
"And will continue to say if you carry on moping around like a sulky teenager."
"I'm not."
"Really? Should we seek the opinion of an expert here? I know, I'll ask DJ when he comes down for breakfast shall I?" Placing the plate down in front of Daniel she passed the maple syrup. "What was said yesterday Danny? Maybe if I get an idea of the way the conversation went then we can work out an alternative plan of action for you to try and win her over."
"What's the point?"
"There isn't one if the Daniel Meade of old is going to keep rearing his ugly head."
For several minutes there was silence. He smeared syrup over his plate, took a mouthful and then decided that that was enough. "You have to eat Danny."
He cut through another small portion and savoured it slowly, "Ok. I asked her if she got my messages, she didn't say anything but she shook her head."
Well I know that's a lie, "ok?"
"So I pressed on, asking that if she did and she just didn't want to reply to them then that was fine but I needed to know where I stood and if we could still be friends."
"What did she say to that?"
"That she didn't know, she wasn't sure, that I really hurt her."
"Did she say why?"
He nodded, "Because she always thought that I would be her rock, be there for her when she needed me the most, the one person that she could trust to back her up 100%. Then she threw my no show to the party in my face … I told her I was there briefly and when she questioned me about it I told her the truth, I told her that I was hurting too, that I couldn't face work knowing she wasn't going to be there, that I had to let her walk away."
Alexis sat on the stool next to Danny, a comforting arm around his shoulders. "Oh Danny, you bared your soul to her."
"Yes, but when she asked me why I hadn't called her back I just told her that I couldn't face it."
"Oh. I think that may have been where you blew it."
"Possibly." He sighed, "because that's when she told me that she'd believed herself to be the selfish one for leaving everyone behind in order to follow her dream; but after putting herself through the ringer she realised it was me and not her."
"And I don't want to tell you I told you so but she is very perceptive."
"Seriously? Not helping. She wouldn't even look me in the eye after that, we sat on opposite sides of the ferry and once we got back to town she and Christina walked up the hill to catch the bus, I didn't have a chance to say anything else."
"Ah, that's gotta hurt."
"I know already," he said quietly. "Doesn't help me get her back though does it."
"She needs time to process all of this before you can act again because, I'm sorry to have to say it bud, but you're gonna have to start all over again. If I were you I'd give her some space, a couple of weeks and then try again."
"And in the meantime?"
"Get back into work and have a couple of weeks holiday, come to Paris with DJ and I when we fly back, try and put this sorry mess behind you. Most importantly forgive her, she's not herself and the best way that both of you can move forward is if you don't have this hanging over your heads. She needs to see the man that you've become not the whiny boy she left behind. You have to rise above everything and show her how much you've changed since Mode but this will be a lengthy process, you need to be in it for the long haul Daniel, there is no quick fix for what you're going through."
"I would wait forever if it meant I only had a second with her, Alexis. I love her and I will do anything to get her back even if it means starting again."
"Well, now all you've got to do is mean it!"
.oOo.
"This is a welcome surprise," Christina said as she joined Betty at the breakfast table, it was covered in all manner of baked goods, cereals and toast. "Is there something you need to tell me, are you hiding a very small man underneath your clothes and your feeding him?"
"No, I just got my appetite back … and I'm famished."
"Right." Christina responded. "Is there a particular reason for this complete one eighty in emotion?" She watched as Betty nodded, "do you want to let me in on it?"
"Matt's coming to London, he'll be staying with me next week."
Christina ordered a boiled egg being the only thing she could manage. "Staying with you, as in staying in your flat or staying in your bed?"
"Christina! It's none of your business."
"No, you're right. What's my business is picking up the pieces afterwards." She poured out a large mug of coffee.
"That was a bit uncalled for." Betty bit back.
"I know, I'm sorry Betty, but we haven't even talked about yesterday."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Nothing to talk about?" Christina was shocked, "you meet up with the one person on this planet you haven't seen for absolutely ages. But you're always complaining that he didn't call you back, and what? What happened? What was said?"
"I don't want to discuss it, Christina."
"Well you might not, but I do. You can tell me or you can tell me not, but I know how you feel about that man, the way you reacted to him being within a foot of you yesterday was enough for me to realise what was going on. You love him."
"No, I don't."
"Don't try and kid a kidder Betty, I'll catch you out." Christina warned. "You've never not wanted to tell me things before so why are you starting now?"
"It was the way you just got up and left. I'd hate to think that you had anything to do with that meeting."
Christina dropped her mug, the contents splashing all over the almond Danish. "I left you to it so that you two could talk, after all that's what you said wanted to do. How could you ever think that I had something to do with setting that up?" She looked away, a pained expression washing over her face.
"I'm sorry, Christina. I just couldn't think of anything more plausible. It all seemed too perfect to be true. Although there was absolute shock in his voice when he saw you were there, I heard that."
"I know, it rose several octaves."
Betty laughed, "oh I really am stupid sometimes; why would you set anything like that up?" She took hold of her friend's hand.
Oh my God I'm going to go to hell. "Absolutely, why would I? It's not like I'm his biggest fan, is it?"
Betty shook her head. "He did look good though, don't you think. Obviously something's working out well for him."
"If you say so, can't say I've ever taken a shine to that one but then you knew him a lot better than I did and it wasn't like I helped my relationship with him when I was allegedly carrying his half-sibling for Wilhelmina's money."
"Well, if it's any consolation he hasn't changed a lot, still a bit whiny, still selfish. Everything has got to be about him."
"Oh?"
"When I told him he really hurt me, he tells me he was hurting too. He tells me that he did come to my leaving party but that he couldn't bear for that to be the last time he saw me. When I question him about not calling me back he said he just couldn't face it."
"Oh bloody hell, he really has it bad."
"Don't you mean had?"
"No has, you didn't see the look on his face when he was first walking towards us, until he saw me that was anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"He loves you, Betty. He has for some time."
"What is wrong with you and his mother?"
"What do you mean, his mother? What has Claire Meade got to do with the price of fish?"
"At my party I asked her if she knew if Daniel was coming, she said she didn't. But then she tells me that losing me has been very hard for him and that he doesn't know quite why yet. She intimated that he was in love with me but he wasn't aware of it – she called it her theory."
"Like me and mine?"
"Yeah, something like that."
"So, he loves you, you love him, what's the problem?"
"I blew it; I basically told him yesterday that I can't be his friend because he's been too selfish. If he ever wants to speak to me again it will be a miracle."
Christina sympathised, but couldn't help thinking how stubborn Betty was being. "What happens now?"
"You and I finish our holiday, I go home and see Matt and maybe take it from there."
"And you and Daniel?"
"If he wants to speak to me then he knows where I am". And there it was, Christina had to smile.
They carried on with breakfast for a few minutes in silence, but Christina couldn't take it any longer, she needed a safe subject. "What do you want to do today then?"
"A Victorian prison sounds like an interesting concept today followed by a dose of rolling countryside, rocky outcrops and lots of farmyard smells."
"Ok sister, let's blow this pop stand."
.oOo.
Daniel spent his last few days before his impromptu vacation literally throwing himself into his work. He was there before anyone else and was the last to leave, which only highlighted the problem of his aching heart further. Rather than respond to it and work out what he needed to do, he hid behind anything that wouldn't remind him of it, he was a train wreck waiting to happen.
By the time he was ready to fly, he had handed over only what was really needed to be looked at whilst he was out of the country, everything else he'd either dealt with or would look at when he got back. He accepted a gift of another pot of marmalade from Natalie, manna for the soul she told him but it only helped to remind him of his difficult week. He left knowing that everything important was in Philippe's capable hands.
Philippe had offered to take him and his family to the airport and after having to watch his sister make out with Philippe and promising that she'd see him in a couple of weeks, they all found their way through the departure lounge to pick up the airbus that would take them to Heathrow in order to catch their onward connection.
For the whole hour and forty minutes that they spent in Heathrow, Daniel could do nothing but think about Betty, what she was doing at each precise moment, if she was home, if she was still on holiday, if she was meeting up with friends, or even if she was on a date; which he discourteously hoped she wasn't. But whatever she was up to he only hoped for one thing: that she was happy.
Concerned, Alexis attempted to bring him out of himself but he wouldn't budge, she realised this wasn't stubbornness on his part just an inability to communicate with anyone at that moment. He barely said a word to either Alexis or DJ, which DJ hated. After all, Daniel had always been so cool with him, and now he just didn't want to know.
Barely sleeping on the plane he became further withdrawn, by the time they arrived in Paris all he wanted to do was go and sit in his room, he didn't want to eat or sleep. He didn't want to do or say anything. It was like losing Molly all over again. And when the anger started …
"Do you know, I think Betty was right," Alexis scowled at her brother, "you are selfish. Here DJ and I are trying to help and comfort you but because things haven't gone the way you wanted them to you're acting like a spoilt kid again."
It didn't last for long, he no longer had the resolve to keep everything inside of him and for only the second time in his life he broke down into his sister's embrace and cried. "My heart is breaking, I swear it."
Alexis did all she could to soothe him although she realised that everything needed to come out before he'd wake up and smell the coffee. "We talked about this remember, you have to give her time?"
"Yeah," he whispered, taking himself off to his room and collapsing, he slept for what seemed like the longest time. When he surfaced again ten days later he felt refreshed and could see the world through new eyes. He washed, shaved, dressed and when downstairs.
It was such a welcome change in appearance that both his sister and nephew hugged him, and he hugged back. He'd definitely had his fair share of rough relationships but after all that, family was the only thing that truly mattered. He was resolved to try things with Betty once more but after that he wouldn't go there. It had been too painful already and he didn't want to feel that way again. There was someone special out there for him, he'd once believed it was Betty but if he couldn't make that work then he'd have to find his plan B. After all he wasn't getting any younger, most of his friends and family had settled down and had families of their own, it was definitely his turn to have a piece of that.
After dinner he made a proclamation. "When I get home I'm going to start dating."
"Anyone we know?" Alexis asked.
"I think I'll ask Natalie, she's in between boyfriends at the moment."
"Daniel I wouldn't go there."
"Why not?"
"Because she's your assistant for one thing, and she's very young."
"And a substitute for Betty, huh?"
Alexis shrugged her shoulders, "how about that blonde woman that works in the grocer's"
Daniel shook his head, "do you know how many kids she's got?"
"That's a bit prejudiced, isn't it?"
"Seriously, I don't mean anything by it Alexis, but I want a family of my own, not someone else's. If the right woman's got a kid, or even two then maybe, but not that many."
"Right, well what about the brunette I met at the university, what was her name?"
"Do you mean Siobhan, elfin hair and no bust?"
"No, this girl had longer hair, although it was in pig tails when I met her."
He sipped his wine desperately wracking his brains, "oh I know who you mean. Georgette?"
"Yes, that's the one."
He shook his head, "she's seeing a body builder. I'm definitely not going there."
"Oh well, I'm sure whomever you ask, they'll be great."
"Like I've done great so far on my own?"
"Molly was wonderful for you."
He smiled, "yes she was. I think it was her influence that really made me open my eyes and see people for what they were. She opened my eyes to Betty." He looked his sister straight in the eye. "Tell me this gets easier."
"I wish I could, Daniel," she sighed, "but unfortunately it doesn't. Just remember that when you get back home in a couple of days it's the first day of the rest of your life and you need to start living it."
"Thanks Alexis."
"My pleasure." She raised her glass in the air, "Here's to you brother, a duffus but a good one."
.oOo.
It was coming up to four o'clock in the afternoon by the time Christina had dropped Betty off at her flat and another two hours had passed by the time she'd unpacked and gone to the local store to pick up a few items she needed to keep herself alive. As she was about to grab her keys from her purse she noticed a figure loitering by the front door and before she realised what she was doing she took a step forward and confronted the man.
"Erm, excuse me but the hostel is down the road, next to the church," she smiled at the man, hoping that the way she was shouldering past him to get to the door would be enough of an incentive for him to get going.
"I'm sorry, I'm not looking for any hostel, I'm looking for my friend."
As he turned to face her she caught a sight of familiarity. "Oh my God, Matt? What happened to you?"
"Jesus, Betty. What happened to you?" Her eyebrows knotted together in her confusion, "you look amazing. The clothes, the hair, the glasses. Your braces are gone too."
"Thanks, I guess. Are you ok, you look like you've been kidnapped and only just released?"
"I suppose in a way I was, it's just seems to have taken so long to get here from Botswana. I just wanted to see how you were before I check in to a hotel somewhere and maybe ask you out to dinner, if you're free that is?"
"What are you talking about? You can stay here with me," she opened the door, holding it open for him to come past her. Offering to carry some of her load, they crossed the hallway to the stairs and climbed the six flights to her apartment, chatting like old friends. "See," she opened the door and pushed her way inside, "I've got plenty of room for the two of us."
"Betty, thank you, but I think you'd feel more comfortable if I found somewhere else to stay. It's been a while since we last saw one another and the last thing I want to do is cross over any lines."
"What are you talking about? You can have the bed, I'll take the sofa. We've got so much to catch up with." She smiled, "I was hoping that we'd be able to while away some hours talking well into the night like we used to."
"I'd like that, but I'm not going to kick you out of your bed." He responded, "there must be something close by?"
"Not much," she shrugged, "there's a small guest house two blocks away but a neighbour said that some friends of hers had stayed there and they wouldn't let their dog sleep there."
"Are you sure you don't mind me staying?"
"No, of course not, what kind of friend would I be if I left you out in the cold, huh?"
"No argument though, I'm taking the sofa. To be honest, with what I've been used to sleeping on over the past two years a sofa is welcome." He smiled, the outer corners of his mouth seemingly touching his eyes. "May I hug you?"
"Of course, come here." She opened her arms for him to walk into them.
He closed his eyes breathing in her scent, he recognised the hint of lemons immediately, she still used the same perfume but her hair smelt of oranges and honey too. He kept his grip loose, "I'm afraid of rumpling you up."
Betty pulled, "please don't Matt. We said goodbye on awkward terms. I don't want the rest of our relationship to be like that. Outward appearances may have changed a little but I'm still Betty from Queens, and I still …" what? Love you, adore you, "want to be your friend."
"That's good to know." He drew back grabbing her hand and pulling her to sit by his side on Betty's sofa. "I'm not going to specifically ask for anything but I want you to know something. You have never been far from my mind Betty. As you know, I've been keeping up with your blog and I've enjoyed speaking with you when we've had the chance to talk. Throughout my journey here I've been thinking more and more about you and what a fool I was to let you go. If you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance then I would gladly take it. I'm just putting this out there so that you know, I still love you Betty, and I don't think I could ever stop so if there's even the remotest chance that maybe you and I could start seeing one another again then I'd love the opportunity."
Betty's face had fallen, and tears threatened. Second chances. She should've given that to Daniel but she was too stubborn to allow that to happen. She'd thought she'd grown since she'd been in London. Maybe she had but maybe she'd grown into someone she didn't particularly want to become, someone like Wilhelmina. "I'm sorry Matt, I don't know if I can do that."
"I expected that, but don't expect me to give up."
She smiled, knowing that Matt would never give up until he had his way again. She only hoped that she had enough gumption to remain true to her feelings, remain true to Daniel. If she couldn't then he would be lost to her forever.
TBC
