Soo, here's ch. 4 . . . thanks to all the people who reviewed and all that, you guys made my day!
Disclaimer: Yes, it is mine, all mine! Muahahahahahahaha! *JKR's lawyers come out and glare* Ok, no it's not . . . not now not ever. :(
Oh yeah, and thanks to april93 (aka my epically awesome beta who puts up with my weirdness). I 3 you forever!
The First of Me
Chapter 4
Later that day, Draco was sitting in the Slytherin common room, trying to work on a Potions essay in the dim greenish light. He finished a sentence, then put his quill down on the table in front of him and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes for a minute. While he was sitting there with his eyes closed, he heard the door to the common room open, and three very loud, very obnoxious Slytherins come in. He could recognize them all by their voices.
The annoying, almost nasally voice was Pansy Parkinson.
The loud guffaw was Vincent Crabbe.
And the quiet snigger that you almost missed was Gregory Goyle.
And they were coming toward him.
"Come on, Draco, stop working!" Pansy said, as she sat on his lap. "I have info that that blood traitor, Weasley, is on the Gryffindor Quidditch team now. And his very first practice with the team," she paused for effect, "is today."
She smiled at him triumphantly.
"It starts in fifteen minutes; it'll take that long to get out there before the Gryffindors get on the field." Crabbe said. Pansy's head whipped around and she gave Crabbe one of her infamous looks.. Draco could tell that she'd wanted to tell him everything, make him think that she was the smart one out of the three.
"Come on, Draco, please?" Pansy pleaded. She pulled him up out of the chair by his arm. "It'll be fun!"
"But, Pansy, my father will kill me if I don't get higher grades than the Mudblood this year!" Draco protested, wincing inside at having to use that word, the word he'd sworn never to use again after meeting Willow, as Pansy pulled him toward the door.
"Oh, please. That essay you were working on isn't due for another three days, Draco! You're coming with us!"
Recognizing his defeat, Draco went.
"Alright, but I'm not shouting out at them. I'm saving my voice."
"Oh, I don't know, Draco," Pansy said, smirking at him. How dare she smirk at him! He'd taught her how to do that! "I think you might find the motivation."
Fifteen minutes later, he was down at the Quidditch pitch, in the stands, sitting between Pansy and Crabbe, while they waited for the Gryffindor team to come out of the locker room. Draco decided that he would sit there trying to look aloof and distant. He knew Willow wouldn't approve if he started yelling at the team. He'd been trying not to look at Potter now, but it was hard, especially when Snape kept drawing attention to his horrible potions in class.
"Oh, they're coming!" Pansy whispered to them, and sure enough, Draco could see their captain, Angelina something, walking out onto the pitch, followed by the rest of the team.
Almost immediately, Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle started jeering at them. Then, Potter walked out of the locker room and looked at the stands. The look on his face very clearly said to Draco, "Why do you have to be here and ruin my entire day?"
And Draco snapped. He started jeering with Pansy, who looked at him with a satisfied smirk.
"What's that Weasley's riding?" Draco yelled out.
Willow was on her way to school, her stomach seemed filled with butterflies as she contemplated the thing what lay waiting for her, pinned to the English teacher's door.
The cast list.
Willow only lived down the road from the school, but this morning it seemed like three miles. She'd gotten an extra early start so she could be at school with enough time to see the list. She could almost see the school when she heard a flutter of wings behind her and felt something land on her shoulder. She looked over at Selena, who was looking pleased with herself for having found Willow somewhere other than her house. Selena stuck out her leg and Willow untied the letter. Cast list forgotten, she sat down on the sidewalk, taking a notebook out of her backpack before she opened Draco's letter. She read it quickly, almost too quickly, she had to go back and read some bits again.
Then she grabbed her pen and started writing back.
Draco,
Oh, are you taking the GCSE's this year? I've heard those are really difficult, but good luck! This girl sounds like she needs a good talking to from your resident non-boarding school friend. Of course, I don't know where exactly your school is, so I couldn't really do that, but the intention's nice, right?
My life's pretty normal, go to school, do homework, sleep. Oh, and write to you. That's probably the most exciting part of my year so far, writing to someone in boarding school. Haha, I only mentioned it like three times, but yes, auditions were last week. The list comes out today and I'm on my way to school right now. I was actually walking to school when Selena found me. That is one very smart bird you've got there. I think I did pretty well at the audition.. There was a small scene we needed to do with another person, and I'm pretty sure I nailed it. I may be the only one who thinks that, but you know how it goes.
How's your life? Potter still bugging you? Don't let him. Just be yourself. If you're happy with yourself, nothing else really matters. I'm happy with who you are, you should be too.
Wish me luck!
Willow
Willow ripped the page out of her perforated notebook, and folded the paper into a little square, which she tied to Selena's leg. She got up as Selena flew away and put her notebook away. As she started walking towards the school again she started thinking about that last time she'd seen Draco, standing on that street corner, looking a little surprised with a hint of a smile on his face, the cast list completely forgotten again.
She got to school ten minutes later, and put her stuff in her locker, the list the first thing on her mind once more. She hurried towards Mrs. Tanner's room, praying that the list was already posted.
She rounded the corner and saw three other people standing around the door, staring at something and she knew. It was up! She hurried forward and pushed through Tanya and Breeta, the fraternal twins, to see it.
Amy, Jill, Lisa, Lindsay, Tanya, Terri, she went down the list of names. There! Willow Turner! She'd made it! She'd done it! Jenna'd made it too, her name was farther down the list, but Willow wasn't a nobody anymore! She'd gotten the part of the main character's best friend, she was in three-fourths of the scenes and she was on top of the world again!
She wanted to tell Draco, but she'd just sent him a letter. She might not get another one for three days, maybe more.
School for the rest of the day was a breeze. She felt good, like anything was possible.
After school, Willow went to the first practice for the play, she got her script and they read through the entire thing. After practice, Willow walked home and tried to concentrate on her homework. It wasn't working. She kept taking out her script and going through her lines in her head, or just looking at it, a smile on her face.
She heard a tap behind her, at her window, and she turned and looked out. It was Selena. Willow didn't know what she'd been expecting, but this really wasn't it. She got up and let Selena in.
"What've you got there, girl?" Willow asked, untying the letter from Selena's leg. Right before she opened it, she got a sense of foreboding; something was telling her that this was a bad letter. She opened it.
Willow,
Oh God, oh dear God, Willow. I slipped. I didn't mean to, but I started yelling insults at Potter and his friends today. After I'd done it, I felt horrible, and now I can't get it off my mind. I thought I could wait to tell you, but I can't. I need to tell someone, and you're the only one who will listen.
I was in my house common room, doing my homework, when that girl I was telling you about, Pansy, came in and basically dragged me to Potter's sports practice. It was his best friend's first practice on the team, and Pansy thought we could get a few laughs out of it. Because, really, Weasley's not brilliant. I've never seen him play before, but today he was actually really horrible. I wasn't going to say anything. I was just going to sit there, and not say anything, but when Potter came out of their locker rooms and saw me in the stands, he looked me straight in the eyes, and the expression on his face. I couldn't take it.
And I snapped. I started yelling insults at them with my "friends" and now I feel terrible!
I just had to get that out.
Draco
Willow stared at the paper in her hand. She sat down on her bed heavily and sighed.
"Oh, Draco," she whispered to the letter. "What have you done?"
Her eyes went blurry, and she felt a wave of disappointment sweep over her. Then she caught herself. She couldn't be disappointed, as far as she knew this was the first really bad thing he'd done in three weeks. She had to be helpful and supportive for Draco, because that was what he needed right now. Not a mother who would lecture and scold him whenever he did something wrong.
She went over to her desk and cleared off all of the homework, leaving just a blank notebook page and a pen on it. Then she sat down and wrote. She wrote from her heart, and at the same time carefully weighed each word as she put it down. This letter had to be perfect.
She sent it off, after giving Selena some water. She watched the owl fly off into the night, and just stood at her window watching the stars long after Selena had disappeared.
Draco woke up the next morning cursing himself for his letter. She probably thought he was a weak fool. He got up and dressed quickly, so the other Slytherins couldn't talk to him, and strode off to breakfast, his mind not really on his stomach, but on the letter, and Willow's reply, which was bound to be coming this morning.
He sat at the far end of the Slytherin table, not really talking to anyone, eating his normal buttered toast and three eggs.
To most of the school, it looked like Draco was just being Draco, but to anyone who knew him well, he looked preoccupied. Blaise, in particular noticed that Draco kept looking up to the windows as if waiting for something.
Minutes later, though it seemed much longer to Draco, the post arrived. Selena flew in, a letter on that strange lined Muggle paper tied around her leg.
Draco untied the letter, and gave Selena the crust of his toast, like he normally did. He slipped the letter inside his Charms book and promised himself he would read it during class, when Blaise wasn't looking.
In class, they were put in pairs by Flitwick and Draco was with a timid Ravenclaw, who kept flinching when she looked at him. He wanted to tell her that she didn't have to be scared of him, but he imagined that would just scare her more. Somehow, in the four previous years of school, he'd become, well, intimidating. People avoided his gaze, they got out of his way in the halls, and if he sat at the opposite end of a library table from someone not in Slytherin, they would get up and move without him saying anything.
It was really starting to get on his nerves.
He let the Ravenclaw try to do the spell, while he read his letter. She didn't try to stop him, to make him focus on the lesson, or even try to read over his shoulder, like Blaise definitely would have.
Draco,
Don't feel bad. I mean, it was a bad thing to do, but everything gets worse before it gets better, right? No one's perfect, not even you. You were bound to slip once, but if that's the only time since I started talking to you, then you should feel really good. It's like the people who are addicted to cigarettes. They have to get better a little bit at a time. Trying to just stop insulting others before they insult you is not something you can do in a few seconds. It's become a habit for you, and habits are dreadfully difficult to break. (I should know, I've been trying to stop biting my nails since I was fourteen) I'm much better at controlling my nail-biting habit, but it still gets me sometimes, like when I'm really nervous.
And you just have to know, you're not alone going through this. I'm here to help, always. You can count on me. I'm sure that however he looked at you you have the strength inside you to resist shouting out at him. All you have to do now is find it. Find a place you can go inside you to detach from the urge to get to him first. Take your mind away from him, go to happy things, happy places.
Hope I've helped,
Willow.
And just like that, Draco was feeling better. She didn't think of him as weak, or as a fool. She said herself that she thought he was trying his hardest! All the rest of that day, Draco smiled. People in the halls looked at him like he was crazy, or like they were terrified that he'd done something terrible, but somehow, right this second, he didn't care! They could look all they liked, because she made him stronger than their looks.
Then he realized something. And it sort of hit him like the proverbial ton of bricks.
She was his happy place. She was the one who made him strong enough to resist Potter's looks and his classmates' stares. With her was the first place he'd felt truly happy. She was the one who made him forget the prejudices and realities of his life.
And he absolutely loved it.
What did you think? See that shiny little blue button? The one that says "Review"? Yeah . . . you should tell me what you think by pressing that button and leaving a review! I will be very very very very very grateful, because I want to know what you think!
PS, I lost the game. Thank you.
